🎙️ First Hour Analysis 🎙️

Analysis of Matt & Bob Show – 08-08-2022

Food items/restaurants talked about:

00:00-10:00:

• Casa Garcia’s restaurant (Pflugerville, Round Rock locations mentioned – 03:35)
• Sonic Slush (03:53)
• Spicy Gushers from Dulce Lido website (02:59)
• Freezer pizza with pepperoni, shaved romano, jalapenos, onions, olives, and mushrooms (06:08)
• Ice cream with chamoy (21:43)
• Ramen with sriracha and peppers (22:01)

10:00-20:00:

• String cheese/cheese strings (18:40)
• Chorizo used to fake telescope photo (14:32)

20:00-37:00:

• Chamoy sauce on fruit snacks (21:31)
• Hot Cheetos (24:42)
• Wagyu steak flavored Lay’s potato chips from Rare Munchies site (25:16)
• MSG (25:46)
• Kolaches (36:06)

News stories talked about during this portion:

09:01 – Disney World’s “It’s a Small World” ride got stuck for almost an hour on July 30th. A TikTok user documented the experience.

10:46 – Reports of Disney mascots/players allegedly ignoring customers trying to get pictures with them, possibly racially motivated (according to some TikTok users).

14:03 – French scientist posted fake photo of “star nearest our sun” which was actually a slice of chorizo, to teach lesson about believing what you see on Twitter. He later had to apologize as the scientific community criticized him for spreading misinformation.

18:40 – Canadian man used giant billboard in downtown Toronto (Yonge and Dundas) to advertise trading one string cheese (marble flavor, still in original packaging). Billboard said “No low balls. I know what I have.”

“Click Click Boom” segment:

This segment does not appear in this portion of the transcript.

Funny moments or memorable quotes during this portion:

02:35 – Matt diagnosing Chewy’s health: “You know, a lot of times you can end up with kind of a loose stool when you’re menstruating. You’re not on a period, are you?”

05:40 – Matt’s therapy session for Chewy: “Your daddy probably wasn’t around as much as you wanted when you were a little boy…when you were lonely as a little kid…the place where you found pleasure was food and masturbation and nothing’s changed for you brother.”

07:51 – Matt: “If my daughter grew up to take your kind of risks, I’d be okay. What are your risks? Oh, I might go out today?”

20:10 – Chewy comparing his food addiction: “It’s like an ex that I can’t quit. It’s like, and then I’m calling her up at 2 a.m., texting her, what are you doing? Hey, look. Open the fridge, she’s right there.”

21:02 – Matt on eating pizza: “I sat there and I was like, all right, I’m just going to eat these two slices like a good boy. I went back to the kitchen and ate the rest of the damn pizza.”

23:42 – Chewy getting shamed by Oliver for leaving a Supreme water bottle tag on.

28:56 – Matt’s lukewarm endorsements based on Corey Taylor saying Slipknot’s new song is “probably one of my favorite songs”: “Chewy is probably one of my favorite coworkers I’ve ever worked with…My wife is probably one of my favorite people I’ve ever had sex with.”

30:19 – Matt on Fred Durst’s fourth marriage: “the old famous saying, the fourth time is a good intro to the fifth.”

Bob’s Rock and Roll News segment:

Bob’s Rock and Roll News Summary:

Bob Fonseca was on vacation during this show, so Matt Bearden filled in to present the Rock and Roll News segment (26:05). The segment covered several updates from the rock world, delivered with Matt’s comedic spin on the announcements.

Motley Crue announced they’re releasing a remastered version of their “Live Wire” video from the album “Too Fast For Love” celebrating its 40th anniversary. Matt joked about who this was even for, since MTV no longer plays music videos, comparing it to “unwrapping a present that had no tag on it on Christmas morning.” The segment raised questions about whether legacy bands should still be touring and whether they should remake their music videos with the original cast members now that they’re older.

Joe Walsh received news coverage for announcing a guest residency with John Batiste’s house band on CBS’s “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.” Matt delivered several jokes about Walsh’s aging fanbase, suggesting they eat dinner at Luby’s at 4 p.m. and questioning whether any of his fans could stay up late enough to watch the show at 11 p.m. He quipped it might be “a make-a-wish for Joe Walsh” and asked “good luck for any of Joe Walsh’s fans staying up that late.”

Slipknot’s new song “Yen” was announced, with frontman Corey Taylor offering a tepid endorsement, saying it’s “probably one of my favorite songs we’ve ever done.” Matt mocked the weak commitment, comparing it to saying “Chewy is probably one of my favorite coworkers” or “my wife is probably one of my favorite people I’ve ever had sex with.” Taylor described the song as touching on their “inner Tom Waits” with a “Type O Negative approach,” which Matt found amusingly non-committal, joking “way to not commit to anything except for keeping the pins in your face.”

Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit got married for the fourth time to his girlfriend Ares Arles in a secret Los Angeles ceremony. The bride showed off her diamond ring on Instagram and changed her bio to “Mrs. D A.K.A. Arles Durst.” Durst is turning 52 and has been married three times before. Matt delivered the punchline: “the old famous saying, the fourth time is a good intro to the fifth.” When asked if Durst did it for love, Matt responded “No,” leading to the obvious follow-up question “What did he do it for?” with the answer being a reference to the Limp Bizkit song “Nookie.”

The Red Hot Chili Peppers segment focused on bassist Flea’s interaction with a young fan. Flea helped a fan get backstage to meet Anthony Kiedis, and later explained on social media why the band rarely interacts with fans. According to Flea, asking for a photo “ruins it instantly” and “feels like a transaction,” preventing any real interaction. He praised the fan for generating “a gentle light” and not immediately asking for pictures. Matt noted this was particularly relevant for Sherman Dreadnought, described as the show’s biggest Red Hot Chili Peppers fan who “drives a minivan when he picks up his kids from soccer,” and dedicated the segment to him.

Rock and roll shoutout/salute:

31:58 – Sherman Dreadnought received a shoutout as the show’s biggest Red Hot Chili Peppers fan who “drives a minivan when he picks up his kids from soccer.”

Bands talked about during Bob’s rock and roll news segment:

• Motley Crue (26:20)
• The Eagles/Joe Walsh (27:41)
• Slipknot (28:20)
• Tom Waits (referenced – 29:07)
• Type O Negative (referenced – 29:15)
• Limp Bizkit/Fred Durst (30:12)
• Red Hot Chili Peppers (30:30)

3 paragraph summary of this portion (excluding Rock and Roll news):

This episode opened with Matt Bearden and Chewy (Eric John Eloretti) hosting solo while Bob Fonseca took a vacation to the West Coast. The show immediately dove into Chewy’s health concerns and problematic relationship with food. Chewy confessed he thinks he has colon cancer due to sharp pains, which he attributes to his extreme eating pattern of fasting for five days during the week and then binge eating terrible food on weekends. His recent indulgences included Casa Garcia’s, Sonic slushes, and ordering “spicy gushers” (candy covered in chamoy sauce) from a specialty website called Dulce Lido. Matt provided impromptu therapy, connecting Chewy’s food issues to childhood attachment problems stemming from losing his grandmother and uncle at a young age and his father not being around as much as he wanted. The conversation ranged from Chewy’s shopping cart full of exotic snacks from Rare Munchies (including wagyu-flavored Lay’s chips) to his embarrassment over leaving the StockX tag on his Supreme water bottle.

The “Nods to the Odd” segment covered several bizarre news stories. A TikTok user described being stuck on Disney World’s “It’s a Small World” ride for almost an hour, which Matt declared “literal hell on earth” given the repetitive song. There were also reports of Disney mascots allegedly ignoring certain guests trying to get pictures, possibly due to racial motivations, though Matt suggested the people in costumes can’t see well and may have been overly sensitive. A French scientist trolled Twitter by posting a photo of sliced chorizo claiming it was the nearest star to our sun captured by the Webb Telescope. While meant to teach a lesson about believing information on the internet, he had to apologize as the scientific community argued it backfired by giving conspiracy theorists ammunition to distrust scientists. The segment concluded with a Canadian man who bought a giant billboard in downtown Toronto to trade one string cheese, advertising “No low balls. I know what I have.”

The show also featured extensive discussion about Disney World, with Matt revealing he’s managed to avoid ever taking his kids despite his father taking all the other grandchildren. He estimated it costs $10,000 to take a family to Disney and joked that the business model works because parents take children at an age young enough that they won’t remember it when they grow up to become parents themselves. The hosts debated whether Disney World is a milestone that determines if parents are keeping their children. Matt also shared that his wife made him an elaborate homemade pizza with all his favorite toppings, which led to him eating almost the entire pizza despite his doctor telling him to lose 15 pounds after his earlier stroke. Comedian Chris Tellez joined the show later, discussing the explosion of the Austin comedy scene since 2020-2021, with more clubs opening and comedians promoting more aggressively, making it easier for shows to sell out.

⏰ Second Hour Analysis ⏰

Analysis of Matt & Bob Show (08-08-2022) – Second Third

Food items/restaurants talked about

• Cracker Barrel – Discussion about their new Impossible sausage offering (around 1:06:00-1:09:00)
• Impossible sausage/Impossible Meat – Plant-based meat alternative being offered at Cracker Barrel
• Beyond Meat – Mentioned in comparison to Impossible Meat
• Chewy’s – Chris’s roommate Andrew Murphy ate his enchiladas from there (49:31)
• Taco Bell – Murphy bought Chris Taco Bell to make up for eating his Chewy’s enchiladas
• Enchiladas – Chris’s leftover enchiladas that his roommate ate
• La Barbecue – $3,000 worth of brisket stolen from them (51:15)
• Brisket – Stolen from La Barbecue smoker
• Pizza – Chris worked at a pizza restaurant after Apple (58:02)
• Chips and salsa – Joke about Mexican bandits fighting for free chips and salsa (39:59)

News stories talked about during this portion

• Netflix, Disney, Hulu lawsuit (47:55) – Austin suing streaming services for unpaid franchising fees (5% of sales), claiming they owe money for using city infrastructure. Netflix has been streaming since 2007 without paying these fees for 15 years.
• APD road rage incident (44:30) – Police looking for a man in a dark-colored SUV (possibly Toyota 4Runner) who rammed into a family near Runberg. Man had distinctive barbed wire tattoo on arm and wore a number nine cap.
• La Barbecue robbery (51:15) – $3,000 worth of brisket stolen from smokers, latest in series of break-ins at the restaurant during pandemic.
• Cracker Barrel Impossible sausage backlash (1:06:00) – Cracker Barrel introduced plant-based Impossible sausage, prompting angry Facebook reactions from customers accusing the chain of going “woke.”

This Week in Texas History segment

Topic: The Bandit Wars and King Ranch raid (37:50-44:00)

Date discussed: August 8, 1915

Story: Mexican bandits (approximately 75 of them) attacked the north division of King Ranch. Texas Rangers and cavalrymen were initially fooled, thinking approaching riders were more rangers coming to help, but the group unfurled a red flag and opened fire. After two hours of shooting, the bandits disappeared. One wounded bandit admitted they thought only three people would be there and planned to rob a train and burn down the King Ranch house. The bandits were mostly young men aged 18-21. This incident led to the U.S. Army finally sending substantial forces to protect the Texas-Mexico border. Matt noted that the Bandit Wars lasted from 1912-1915 and politicians have used border security as a campaign issue ever since.

Interesting facts shared during this portion

• Texas history: Texas became its own country in 1836 and a state in 1845, but borders weren’t fully secured until much later (38:03)
• Texas land: Texas gave away land to the U.S. when it became a state, so its borders have changed over time
• King Ranch size: The ranch is so massive that driving from Corpus to Padre, you drive through one family’s ranch for over an hour with nothing else visible (40:00)
• Chris Tellez’s age: He’s 40 years old, though people don’t believe it. He was 28-29 when he first did radio with Matt (37:43)
• Chris’s diabetes: He says “the government gave it to me” in 2020, and COVID boredom (not the diabetes diagnosis) finally motivated him to start jogging and lose weight (38:08)
• Facebook demographics: Matt notes that Facebook is now primarily used by older people, and 25-year-olds aren’t on it (1:07:15)
• Cracker Barrel/Facebook overlap: The Venn diagram of people on Facebook and people who go to Cracker Barrel is “just one circle” (1:07:30)

Phone callers this portion

No phone callers during this segment. Matt thanked listeners for calls at 1:06:21 sarcastically, saying “We loved getting all of your calls” after receiving none, with Chuy responding “Sons of bitches.” They noted people are probably at work or “quiet quitting right now.”

Funny or memorable quotes this portion

• Chris on his early morning: “This is the earliest I’ve been up since high school” (37:35)
• Chris on getting diabetes: “The government gave it to me” (38:08)
• Matt on border politics: “Politicians have been able to use the border as a weapon in elections ever since… Yay, racism, racism, racism. I’m glad I’m in Austin where we just don’t think about that. Yeah, that’s how we fixed it here, is just by ignoring it and not thinking about it.” (44:00)
• Chuy on Mexican bandits: “Free chips and salsa at the beginning of every meal. That’s why we fought.” (39:59)
• Chris on road rage: “I always just make sure it’s somebody that I can take. Like a woman and child.” (46:13)
• Chris on his roommate Andrew Murphy: “He’s my Netflix… He bought me like straight up Taco Bell to make up for it. I was like, you don’t get it. This is different. I ate it, but I was like, you don’t get it.” (49:31-50:13)
• On quiet quitting: “This is called being a working class American” – Chuy (54:28)
• Chris on his Apple firing: “They took my Mac. They took my watch. They took all my iStuff, took my rings. You have to turn in your gun and badge but it’s a computer and a watch.” (57:42)
• Manager using ‘egregious’: Chris’s firing manager “kept dropping egregious bombs on me. I was like, did this guy just learn the word egregious? I mean, he’s right. What I was doing or not doing was egregious.” (1:01:04)
• Chris on quiet quitting expertise: “That’s the quiet quit genius when you have a face of a man who looks like he’s working and solving problems at his desk, but you ain’t doing nothing.” (1:02:07)
• Matt’s REI manager: “I think you need to call and apologize to him… You guys don’t even sound like humans right now. Hey guys, I don’t want to get paid $9 an hour anymore to sell shoes. I’m out.” (1:05:13)
• Matt on Cracker Barrel: “She can’t eat meat. Also, she’s a huge racist. So we love going to Cracker Barrel.” (1:08:23)
• Facebook comment about Cracker Barrel: “The fact that you sell stuff other than crackers and barrels is why I’ll never go there again.” (1:09:02)

Guests in the studio or special visitors

Chris Tellez – Comedian filling in for Bob Fonseca. This is day one of a two-day guest hosting stint. Chris has known Matt for about 12 years (since Chris was 28-29). He’s 40 years old, lost weight during COVID, has diabetes, was previously fired from Apple for quiet quitting, and has a comedy career. He’s never been to South Padre Island and didn’t know what REI was.

Recurring jokes or gags

• Chris not knowing outdoor/healthy activities: Didn’t know what REI (outdoor equipment store) was, has never been to Padre Island, confused the letters R-E-I for a word
• Matt’s stolen socks incident: Matt tried to get fired from REI by stealing socks but leaving the tags on as “a cry for help” (1:03:00)
• Andrew Murphy enchilada debt: Recurring story about Chris’s former roommate eating his Chewy’s enchiladas worth $25. Matt encouraged listeners to tweet at “Shut up Murphy” calling him racist (50:00-51:00)
• “Egregious”: The word Chris’s manager repeatedly used when firing him from Apple
• Quiet quitting expertise: Running theme throughout the segment with multiple personal stories

Summary

This portion of the show featured comedian Chris Tellez filling in for Bob on day one of a two-day guest hosting stint. The segment began with lighthearted banter about Chris’s early morning arrival and his physical transformation from “fat Chris” to his current trim appearance, which he attributed to COVID boredom rather than his 2020 diabetes diagnosis.

Matt presented a “This Week in Texas History” segment about the August 8, 1915 raid on King Ranch by approximately 75 Mexican bandits during the Bandit Wars period (1912-1915). He explained how young bandits, mostly 18-21 years old, would cross the border for excitement in an era before modern entertainment, comparing it to skateboarding or graffiti today. The segment included historical context about Texas’s complex path to statehood and evolving borders, with Matt noting that politicians have exploited border security issues in elections ever since. The discussion was peppered with humor about racism and Austin’s approach of “ignoring it and not thinking about it.”

The show covered several Austin news stories, including the city’s lawsuit against Netflix, Disney, and Hulu for 15 years of unpaid franchising fees, an APD search for a road rage suspect with a distinctive barbed wire tattoo, and the ongoing robbery problem at La Barbecue, where thieves recently stole $3,000 worth of brisket from the smokers. The hosts speculated humorously about the logistics of stealing that much meat, with Chuy suggesting it was “some Ocean 11 type stuff.”

The main topic of this portion was “quiet quitting,” a trending workplace phenomenon where employees show up but do minimal work beyond basic requirements. All three hosts shared extensive personal stories of quiet quitting various jobs. Chris discussed being fired from Apple after being caught on camera cuddling his dog during a team meeting, then working at a pizza place where he’d eat pizzas indiscriminately. Chuy admitted to quiet quitting multiple jobs and testing positive for PCP (allegedly from his father’s urine) at a porta-potty company. Matt shared his dramatic exit from REI, where he gave six weeks notice to help through the holidays but was scheduled for impossible shifts during his TV pilot shoot week, leading to his firing and a corporate request that he apologize. The segment included a failed call-in attempt, with Matt sarcastically thanking listeners for zero calls.

The show concluded with Chuy’s “clickbait” segment about Cracker Barrel introducing Impossible sausage on their menu, which triggered angry responses from Facebook users accusing the chain of going “woke.” The hosts found the outrage hilarious, noting the overlap between Facebook’s demographic and Cracker Barrel’s customer base, with Chuy describing it as “a Venn diagram that really is just one circle.” Matt pointed out the irony of people being anti-choice even about food options, and noted that the addition would actually help him feed his vegetarian daughter, joking that “she’s also a huge racist, so we love going to Cracker Barrel.” The discussion highlighted generational divides in social media usage and America’s culture war extending even to breakfast sausage options.

🕐 Third Hour Analysis 🕐

Analysis of Matt & Bob Show (08-08-2022) – Final Third

Food or restaurants talked about during this portion:

• Cracker Barrel – Extended discussion about them offering Impossible Meat sausage (01:09:56-01:14:05)
• Burger King – Mentioned alongside Cracker Barrel (01:10:17)
• Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s – Referenced as appropriate places for “tofu crap” (01:10:56)
• Schlotzky’s – Featured in Chris Tellez’s comedy bit about a bathroom encounter (01:35:48)
• Hot Pockets – Discussed when talking about microwave usage (01:41:57)
• Nighthawk frozen dinners – Extended discussion about frozen meals and their “pickle juice butter sauce” (01:39:40-01:40:41)
• Connor’s spice mix (“Stank”) – Homemade seasoning blend containing salt, pepper, garlic powder, cumin, and Splenda (01:26:11-01:27:46)

News stories talked about during this portion:

• Cracker Barrel Impossible Meat controversy – Major discussion about online outrage over Cracker Barrel offering plant-based sausage options, with angry comments from customers threatening boycotts and accusing the company of being “woke” (01:09:56-01:14:05)
• Quiet Quitting – Referenced in show title but not discussed in this portion

Interesting facts shared during this portion:

• The Moody Family – Described as having “invented lettuce” (jokingly) and being very wealthy, with their name on multiple Austin venues including theaters and amphitheaters (01:18:06-01:18:44)
• Nighthawk frozen dinner secret – The butter sauce in Nighthawk meals contains pickle juice mixed with melted butter (01:40:22)
• Broiler usage – Many people don’t know how to use or even recognize their oven’s broiler element, with some storing pans in that drawer without realizing it’s meant for cooking (01:41:30-01:43:20)
• Comedy scene changes – Comedians no longer need to move to LA or New York to succeed; they can build careers in cities like Austin (01:28:44-01:29:39)

Memorable moments during this portion:

• Famous Families game show segment – Contestants Mike Jones and “Eastside” competed, with Mike Jones winning by identifying the Kardashians from just the name “Chloe” while struggling with the Kennedy family (01:17:37-01:23:23)
• Kennedy family fail – Both contestants completely missed the Kennedy family despite being given names like Jack, Teddy, Robert, Rose, Caroline, Bobby, and Jackie, with one guessing “Onassis” and the other saying “Hogan’s” (01:21:09-01:22:02)
• Eastside’s losing streak – Matt revealed that caller “Eastside” is a “15-time loser” who calls frequently but never wins contests (01:23:08)
• Chris Tellez bathroom story clip – Played comedy bit about holding a stranger’s poop “hostage” at Schlotzky’s by waiting in the bathroom (01:35:23-01:38:27)
• “Stank” spice mix reveal – Connor’s homemade seasoning described as smelling like “good underarm stank” and will be tested by guests throughout the week (01:26:11-01:27:46)

Guests on the show:

• Chris Tellez – Stand-up comedian sitting in as substitute host for Bob Fonseca, discussed his upcoming album recording at Cap City Comedy Club on September 9th and 10th, 2024 (throughout entire portion, specifically 01:24:26-01:44:28)

Callers this portion:

• Mike Jones – First contestant in Famous Families game, won the Moody Gardens prize package (01:17:37-01:23:23)
• Eastside (Esi/Isai Costilla) – Second contestant, lost the game, noted as frequent caller who has never won (01:17:37-01:23:23)
• Connor – Not on during this portion but his spice mix was discussed; he called previously to admit he doesn’t know how to cook (01:26:02)

Facts of the Day from their segment:

• Nighthawk butter contains pickle juice – The briny butter sauce that comes with Nighthawk frozen dinners is made from melted butter mixed with pickle juice (01:40:22)
• Broiler drawer location – Many ovens have the broiler element in the drawer at the bottom of the oven, though some people mistake this for storage (01:41:30-01:42:43)

Summary:

The final portion of the August 8th, 2022 Matt & Bob show featured comedian Chris Tellez substituting for Bob Fonseca and covered a wide range of topics mixing current events, comedy, and food culture. The show opened with an extended discussion about the surprising online controversy surrounding Cracker Barrel’s decision to offer Impossible Meat sausage as an option, with hosts reading angry Facebook comments from customers accusing the restaurant chain of going “woke” and threatening boycotts simply because a plant-based option was available alongside traditional meat.

The hosts then transitioned into a contest segment called “Famous Families,” giving away a four-pack of admission tickets to Moody Gardens in Galveston (which must be used by August 30th). Contestants Mike Jones and Eastside (Esi) competed by identifying famous families from lists of first names. The game produced hilarious moments when both contestants completely failed to identify the Kennedy family despite being given multiple names including Jack, Teddy, Robert, and Jackie, yet Mike Jones instantly identified the Kardashians from just the single name “Chloe.” Matt ribbed both contestants about knowing more about the Kardashians than one of America’s most powerful political families, joking “We don’t know the Kennedys, but we got the Kardashians on one effing name.”

A significant portion of the show focused on introducing “Stank,” a homemade spice mixture created by caller Connor that contains salt, pepper, garlic powder, cumin, and surprisingly, Splenda. The hosts described its smell as reminiscent of “good underarm stank” and announced plans to have all week’s guests try food seasoned with it. This led to broader discussions about cooking methods, including the “stoner two-step” technique of partially microwaving food then finishing it under the broiler, which revealed that both Chewy and Chris Tellez didn’t know how to use or identify their oven’s broiler element.

The show’s guest, Chris Tellez, discussed his comedy career trajectory and his upcoming album recording scheduled for September 9th and 10th at the newly reopened Cap City Comedy Club. He explained that a previous recording attempt in September 2021 (with Doug Benson opening) didn’t meet his standards, so he shelved that recording. Further delays occurred when Cap City’s reopening was postponed multiple times due to construction issues, but Tellez expressed that the delays were “a blessing in disguise” as he now feels more prepared. The hosts played a clip from his Comedy Central set featuring a story about a bathroom encounter at Schlotzky’s that showcased his observational, everyday-life comedy style. The segment highlighted how the Austin comedy scene has evolved, with comedians no longer needing to relocate to Los Angeles or New York to build successful careers, and discussed the influx of major comedy names like Joe Rogan, Tom Segura, and Tim Dillon now calling Austin home.