🎙️ First Hour Analysis 🎙️

Analysis of Matt & Bob Radio Show Transcript (08-31-2022)

Food items/restaurants talked about

• 00:18:57.000 – Valentina’s tacos (mentioned Matt will probably have one at the Verde game)
• 26:03.237 – Chili’s (referenced in passing during conversation)
• 34:42.230 – McDonald’s chicken McNuggets (thrown at Harry Styles concert at Madison Square Garden)
• 37:02.690 – Graham crackers (Bob mentions going to the pantry for them)
• 41:41.080 – Cereal ($5 for a box of cereal complaint in the middle-age list)

News stories talked about during this portion

• 11:23.324 – Anthony Petty, 62 years old from Seminole, Florida, arrested for attempting to meet who he believed was a 14-year-old girl (police sting operation, similar to “To Catch a Predator”)
• 15:47.421 – Man in Ghana climbed fences to get into lion cage with rare white lion cubs and was killed by the mother lion
• 20:56.840 – Robert (phone caller) discussed Moldorama machines

“Click Click Boom” segment

38:46.427 – Segment mentioned/started but only one item discussed:

• Middle-aged people sayings list (12 phrases middle-aged people commonly say, sent in by listener “Little Hickey”)

Funny moments or memorable quotes during this portion

• 00:51.431 – Matt asks which day of the week it is, jokes about being like the president needing to know
• 01:01.744 – Matt: “Do you ever notice his hips enter the room before the rest of his body?” (about Bob)
• 03:05.321 – Matt complaining about developing shoe, watch, and vinyl hobbies, blaming Chewie: “I’m spending money to the fullest, and that’s… it’s gonna run out.”
• 04:01.013 – Shoe name: “Air Jordan One Retro High OG Utility Qui-54 2022” – Chewie: “Dang, sounds like a jet fighter of some sort.”
• 04:16.312 – Bob insisting they’re “stash bags” not “fanny packs”
• 05:40.227 – Dan (producer) teasing Bob about “sneaker app, fanny pack, and previously pickleball”
• 07:01.704 – Matt: “The colorway of this show is brown, beige, and white… Two thirds brown. One-third white.”
• 08:41.896 – Dan reveals he’s a bird watcher; hosts ask for a bird call but he refuses
• 10:30.223 – Matt: “Unless we start asking people for money in exchange for coffee cups and tote bags, we can’t have a conversation about bird watching.”
• 17:01.647 – Discussion about whether lions should be allowed to finish eating the body of the man who broke into their cage
• 19:20.680 – Bob on zoos: “I go to a zoo, I get hot and nauseous, and I want to leave.”
• 40:03.914 – Discussion of Prudential insurance commercials about “how not to be your parents”

Phone callers this portion

21:00.837 – Robert called about Moldorama machines at zoos, mentioned he used to have one, discussed that desktop versions now cost $1,500-$2,000

Bands talked about during Bob’s rock and roll news segment

• The Monkees
• The Beatles
• The Doors
• Barry Manilow (mentioned sarcastically)
• Celine Dion (mentioned sarcastically)
• Cher (mentioned sarcastically)
• Barbara Streisand (mentioned sarcastically)
• Oasis
• Arcade Fire
• Feist
• David Bowie
• The Who
• Bob Dylan
• Jimi Hendrix
• Harry Styles

Rock and roll shoutout/salute

39:42.230 – Castle Dental on Palm Valley – Bob’s cousin works there

5 paragraph summary of Bob’s Rock and Roll News segment

Bob Fonseca’s Rock and Roll News segment began with the surprising story of Mickey Dolenz, the only living member of The Monkees, suing the FBI to obtain records the agency collected on the band and its individual members during the 1960s and 1970s. Dolenz filed a Freedom of Information Act request in June but has yet to receive a response, prompting the lawsuit filed on Tuesday. Bob explained that the government routinely went after rock stars during that era, targeting major acts like The Beatles, The Doors, and John Lennon individually, though he joked they also went after artists like Barry Manilow, Celine Dion, Cher, and Barbara Streisand, wishing Mickey Dolenz good luck in his pursuit.

The segment continued with Gibson Guitar announcing an extremely limited Murphy Lab aged signature ES-355 guitar for Oasis legend Noel Gallagher. The red guitar features a whammy bar, and Gallagher himself was quoted saying, “F me, what a guitar,” noting that he actually sent his main guitar back to storage for the first time since buying it. Bob mentioned that Oasis was a huge band in the 1990s, though Matt claimed to have never heard their hits like “Wonderwall” and “Champagne Supernova.”

Bob then covered the controversial ongoing tour of Arcade Fire, whose lead singer Win Butler has been accused by four different women of sexual assault. Butler has denied all allegations, claiming all encounters were consensual. The band kicked off the European leg of their tour in Dublin, Ireland, with Feist as the opening act. Feist is reportedly donating all her merchandise proceeds from the shows to local chapters of Women’s Aid but has not publicly commented on the accusations against Butler.

David Bowie finally received recognition on London’s Music Walk of Fame, six years after his death in 2016. Bob expressed surprise at the delay, suggesting there might be a five-year waiting period for the honor. Bowie will join other legendary artists like The Who, Bob Dylan, and Jimi Hendrix with a stone laid in his memory on the trail that recognizes influential artists from around the world.

The segment concluded with Rock and Roll News Jr., aimed at younger listeners, featuring a story about Harry Styles stopping his show at Madison Square Garden when fans threw chicken McNuggets at him during one of his 15-show residency performances. Styles picked up the microphone and quipped, “You got fries with that?” Bob, who is planning to attend one of Styles’ five sold-out shows at the Moody Center in Austin in October, expressed sympathy for the pearl-wearing pop star, saying no one deserves to have McNuggets thrown at them.

3 paragraph summary of this portion of the show – excluding Bob’s Rock and Roll news

The show opened with the hosts discussing their various hobbies and Matt Bearden’s growing obsession with collecting shoes, watches, and vinyl records, which he blamed on his co-hosts. The conversation centered around a pair of Air Jordan One Retro High OG Utility Qui-54 2022 sneakers he had just purchased through the Nike SNKR app, complete with “stash bags” (which producer Dan kept calling “fanny packs” to Bob’s irritation) attached to the heels. Bob explained how he obsessively checks the secondary market value of his shoes, watching the price fluctuate like the stock market, and how his purchase had already increased in value by $65-$70. This led to extended banter about the proper terminology for shoe features, with Bob educating everyone about “colorways” and explaining that the colorway of the show itself was “two-thirds brown, one-third white.”

The conversation took an unexpected turn when producer Dan revealed he was a bird watcher, which the hosts found amusing. Dan discussed titmice families and their relationships, explaining research showing how these birds maintain familial connections with some staying local while others fly to distant locations like New Mexico. Matt cut off the bird discussion, joking that unless they started asking for donations in exchange for tote bags and coffee cups like public radio, they couldn’t have extended bird-watching conversations. This segued into a news story about Anthony Petty, a 62-year-old man in Florida arrested for trying to meet what he believed was a 14-year-old girl but was actually a police officer, followed by a story about a man in Ghana who was killed after climbing into a lion enclosure to steal rare white lion cubs.

The show featured extensive discussion about Moldorama machines, those vintage zoo vending machines that create molded wax figurines. Phone caller Robert sparked the conversation by discussing the machines, which led the hosts down a rabbit hole of researching the company, its inventor Tike Miller (who originally just wanted to replace a broken nativity scene piece), and discovering they only have seven locations nationwide including the San Antonio Zoo. The hosts reminisced about childhood zoo visits, debated the value and reliability of these nearly century-old machines compared to modern McDonald’s shake machines that constantly break down, and found humor in the fact that Moldorama’s Instagram account only follows two accounts: the San Antonio Zoo and Keto Chow. The segment concluded with a listener sending in a list of “Middle Age in a Nutshell” sayings, which included relatable phrases like “I could have sworn that was my password,” “Why is the print on this instruction so tiny?” and “Who cares if it looks good, I’m comfortable?”

⏰ Second Hour Analysis ⏰

Analysis of Matt & Bob Show Transcript (Second Third – 08-31-2022)

Food items/restaurants talked about

• Prime Rib at Palazzo – Chewy mentions free Prime Rib at his remote broadcast Friday 12-2pm (55:15-55:23)
• Chili’s – Discussion about being charged for chips and salsa unless you use the app (1:20:17-1:21:02)
• Taco Deli – Mentioned as example of iPad tipping at grab-and-go places (1:22:00)
• Donut shop – Referenced regarding iPad tipping (1:22:10)

News stories talked about during this portion

• Austin housing market cooling (43:52-45:45) – Median home prices in Austin climbed 71% during pandemic (vs 40% nationwide). Market predicted to favor buyers by July 2023 with only 15% increase projected, compared to previous rapid growth.
• Austin rat invasion (46:17-49:20) – Drought and new construction destroying natural habitats causing rats to invade homes. Rats reproducing rapidly and taking over houses.
• Wild hog problem (49:36-51:44) – Discussion about wild hogs potentially becoming issue in Central Texas like they are in Houston area. Hogs can have litters of 20-25 babies three times per year.

Predictions made during this portion

• Housing market prediction (44:29-44:43) – Median home price in Austin area predicted to go up about 15%, which is slowing compared to rest of nation
• Wild hogs prediction (49:36-49:51) – CJ predicts wild hogs will soon be seen in Austin like they are in Houston

Interesting facts shared during this portion

• Austin housing statistics (44:08-44:21) – Median sale price climbed 71% in Austin during pandemic vs 40% nationwide
• Rat documentary (47:15-47:22) – Morgan Spurlock documentary called “Rats” on Netflix mentioned
• Rats in New York (47:45-48:01) – NYC has approximately 100 rats for every person; reference to “pizza rat” video
• Rat athleticism (48:11-48:30) – Rats can climb trees, jump from houses, and stretch; very athletic creatures
• Wild hog reproduction (50:33-50:44) – Wild hogs can have litters of 20-25 babies three times per year
• Wild hog characteristics (50:20-50:38) – Can weigh 800 pounds, run 45 mph, very dangerous and vicious
• Nap timing (1:03:03-1:03:10) – Chewy says perfect nap time is 19 minutes

Phone callers this portion

• Sally (1:05:10-1:06:03) – Called about wife paying for his cell phone; confused about Chewy’s smoking habits (Schrodinger’s Stoner)
• Robert (58:14-59:47) – Self-described “coconut” (brown outside, white inside), boxing fan, vinyl collector, relates to all three hosts
• Connor (1:00:00-1:00:46) – Called himself a Matt fan, said Matt is comedy, Chewy is sidekick, Bob is “just there” – started fights
• Jason (1:12:01-1:13:30) – Grown-ass man who can’t take off a bra; once got hit in eye by bra clasp requiring emergency room visit and eye patch
• Trevor (1:14:00-1:14:50) – Can’t put boat in slip, has access to forklift for hosts to try
• Denise (1:16:21-1:17:16) – 61-year-old certified forklift driver, can’t knit, has taken out water heater and toilet with forklift
• Adam (1:18:01-1:19:35) – Doesn’t know how to write a check; roofer wouldn’t take cash payment
• Warren (1:23:26-1:24:11) – Called about why restaurants add fees instead of raising prices (transparency)

Funny or memorable quotes this portion

• Chewy on housing strategy (45:27-46:05): “I haven’t been committing as many crimes as I used to, so property values aren’t going down anyway… You and a couple of buddies get together, start robbing neighbors a lot in neighborhood… unionizing just to rob their neighbors.”
• Chewy’s Schrodinger Stoner (1:05:15-1:05:32): “I’m Schrodinger Stoner. Even when I’m not smoking, I am.”
• Connor’s brutal assessment (1:00:22-1:00:34): “I’d say that I’m more of a Matt fan… Matt’s fan base is people who enjoy comedy. Chewie, you’re more like a sidekick and Bob’s just there.”
• Jason’s bra incident (1:12:22-1:12:40): “When I finally got it on last, it popped my eye… I had to wear an eyepatch. I had to go to the hospital.”
• Matt on bras (1:13:25-1:13:30): “I hit no tip and I look down so that they can see my erection growing.”
• Chewy on certifications (1:07:40): “Certifications for losers, bro.”

Recurring jokes or gags

• Individual fan bases (51:51-1:01:50) – Extended discussion about how each host has different types of fans: Matt has NPR/Chronicle readers AND alt-right conservatives; Bob has wholesome, well-dressed moms and wine drinkers; Chewy has degenerates, stoners, Hispanic listeners, and ladies
• Chewy’s smoking habits mystery (1:05:15-1:06:03) – Caller confused about whether Chewy smokes before show or not; hosts don’t know either
• Palazzo remote promotion (55:01-55:23, 1:19:20-1:19:53) – Chewy repeatedly promotes his Friday noon-2pm remote at Palazzo with free Prime Rib

“Grown Ass Man” segment

What can’t they do:

Bob (1:02:49-1:03:35):

• Can’t do his own taxes anymore – too many moving parts
• Can’t take a nap – doesn’t know proper protocol (bed vs couch, blanket, etc.)

Matt (1:03:38-1:05:05):

• Napping ruins his day – wakes up angry and groggy
• Can’t sleep well in general

Chewy (1:06:21-1:06:38):

• Not forklift certified
• Doesn’t know how to play spades (1:08:28-1:08:42)

Matt (1:09:42-1:10:30):

• Can’t read football defenses (cover two, cover three, nickel, dime)
• Has been explained 4,000 times but still can’t do it

Bob (1:10:31-1:10:44):

• Doesn’t know what happened to halfback/fullback positions
• Can’t play Madden video game (1:11:01-1:12:00)

Caller contributions:

• Sally: Wife pays for cell phone
• Jason: Can’t take off a bra
• Trevor: Can’t put boat in slip
• Denise: Can’t knit (but IS forklift certified)
• Adam: Can’t write a check

Five Paragraph Summary

This portion of the show began with a discussion about the Austin housing market cooling after explosive pandemic growth of 71% (compared to 40% nationwide). The hosts covered local issues including a rat invasion caused by drought and construction displacing animals, and the potential threat of wild hogs moving into the Austin area. Matt shared a personal story about living in a rat-infested house when his landlord had died, with rats taking over within days due to nests under the old structure.

The conversation shifted to an extended discussion about individual fan bases, sparked by Chewy’s observation that different listeners relate to different hosts. Connor called in and brutally assessed that Matt’s fans enjoy comedy, Chewy is just a sidekick, and Bob is “just there,” causing tension. The hosts debated whether Matt’s fan base consists of NPR/Chronicle readers (Bob’s view) or alt-right conservatives (Chewy’s view), with Matt noting these are “completely diametrically opposed” groups. Bob’s fans were characterized as wholesome, well-dressed moms and wine enthusiasts, while Chewy claimed degenerates, stoners, and the Hispanic community.

The “Grown Ass Man” segment featured numerous confessions of basic life skills the hosts lack. Bob admitted he can’t do his own taxes anymore or properly take a nap, while Matt confessed he still can’t read football defenses despite thousands of explanations. Chewy revealed he’s not forklift certified and doesn’t know how to play spades. Multiple callers contributed their own grown-ass failures, with Jason sharing a memorable story about getting hit in the eye by a bra clasp requiring an emergency room visit, and 61-year-old Denise proudly announcing she IS forklift certified.

The discussion evolved into practical matters like forklift operation, with detailed explanations about rear-wheel steering creating confusion similar to parking boats in slips. The hosts received offers from listeners to practice on real forklifts. The conversation touched on various card games, video game controls, and the complexity of Madden football, with the hosts admitting they lack proficiency in these areas despite their ages.

The segment concluded with discussion about rising costs and new restaurant fees, including “kitchen appreciation fees,” fuel surcharges, and the phenomenon of “iPad tipping” at counter-service establishments. The hosts debated the awkwardness of iPad tip screens at places where minimal service is provided, with employees reportedly disliking having to turn the screen around. Chewy continued promoting his Palazzo remote broadcast offering free Prime Rib, encouraging listeners to attend Friday from noon to 2pm.

🕐 Third Hour Analysis 🕐

Analysis of Matt & Bob Radio Show (08-31-2022) – Final Third

Food or restaurants talked about during this portion:

• Restaurant fees discussion (01:24:02-01:26:26): Discussion about restaurants charging multiple fees, cover charges, and European restaurant practices where they charge a $10 cover but pay livable wages
• $30 vs $20 plates of food (01:24:17): Conversation about feeling better paying $30 for food upfront rather than seeing multiple separate fees
• Sub sandwich prices (01:27:00-01:28:09): Caller Colin discusses a sandwich place where customers write their own orders, mention of Subway’s tip jar
• Sub prices reaching $10 (01:28:04): Bob notes that two subs with chips and drinks now cost about $30, expressing shock that subs are over $5
• Steak dinner at Dean’s Steakhouse (02:01:13): Mentioned as potential prize for football contest
• Empanadas (01:30:39): Show sponsor “mmm, Panadas – eat happy” mentioned multiple times

Memorable moments during this portion:

• The “Midnight Toker or Joker” contest (01:50:30-01:58:00): Chaotic game where contestant Stacy had to guess which celebrities smoke weed, with Chewy struggling to explain his own rules and being accused of being too high to run his own contest
• Football betting discussion (01:32:50-01:50:00): Extended conversation about creating a football picks contest with various suggestions including multipliers, Matt’s kids competing, and potential punishments
• Bob’s extreme desire for money (01:43:56-01:48:18): Bob repeatedly insisting he wants “cold hard cash” and “$1,000 on the barrel head” for the football contest stakes
• Chewy admitting to being a “football troller” (01:32:43): Chewy reveals he doesn’t watch football but loves sending memes to upset die-hard fans
• The tip jar debate (01:27:20-01:29:46): Philosophical discussion about when tipping is appropriate, including the “Georgetown theft” trend of keeping change

Any callers this portion:

• Colin (01:26:25-01:28:09): Called about not minding tipping at counter service but objecting to a sandwich place where you write your own order still requesting tips
• Lupe (01:43:44-01:44:23): Called to share story about coworker from Wisconsin whose entire mood would be affected by Packers losses, also mentioned the trend of 7-Eleven workers keeping change without asking
• PC (Pest Control Chris) (01:38:26-01:39:52): Called to say Dungeons & Dragons and fantasy football are the same thing, which his brother (a huge sports guy) would get angry about
• Benjamin (01:46:35-01:47:34): Called to recommend using ESPN Fantasy app’s College Pick’em game with confidence picks (ranking 1-10)
• Eduardo (01:48:18-01:49:27): Called with multiple contest ideas including squares, Go Fund Me pot, and splitting winnings between hosts and listeners

Any predictions made during this portion:

• Movie theater struggles (01:26:02): Bob predicts movie theaters will struggle in fall because there are no Marvel movies or big releases with everyone back in school
• Sub sandwich pricing (01:30:01): Discussion suggests prices will continue rising and never come back down, referencing Mr. Mom’s “Schooner Tuna” promise

Any interesting facts shared during this portion:

• Movie pricing schemes (01:25:05-01:25:51): Theaters now charge $1-2 extra for opening day or premium movies like The Batman, plus Fandango adds convenience fees making tickets up to $5 more
• UT sports big ticket pricing (01:34:40-01:34:51): The “big ticket” for all UT sporting events went from $50 when Matt was in school to $200 now, plus $225 for Longhorn Foundation
• Movie theater Labor Day deals (01:26:02-01:26:24): Many theater chains running $3-5 deals for Labor Day weekend because they’re scared about fall attendance
• European restaurant cover charges (01:24:52-01:25:02): European restaurants charge a $10 “cover” charge but don’t require tipping because they pay livable wages
• College football game schedule (01:33:20): Classes had already been in session for two weeks before football season started

“This or That” segment questions and answers:

Contestant: Stacy – Game: “Midnight Toker or Joker” (Smoker or Not)

• Patrick Stewart: Guessed Joker (Non-smoker) – INCORRECT (he does smoke)
• Mark Wahlberg: Guessed Smoker – INCORRECT (recently sober, very religious)
• Charlize Theron: Guessed Smoker – CORRECT
• Cee Lo Green: Guessed Non-smoker – CORRECT (spiritual man)
• Bob Fonseca: Guessed Non-smoker – CORRECT
• Travis Barker: Guessed used to smoke but not anymore – CORRECT (recently sober)
• Kevin Nealon: Guessed Smoker – INCORRECT (doesn’t partake despite being on “Weeds”)
• Lady Gaga: Guessed Smoker – CORRECT (winning answer)

Additional names discussed but not part of contest:

• Kirsten Dunst: Smoker
• Harrison Ford: Non-smoker (surprised the hosts)
• Jennifer Lawrence: Smoker

Five Paragraph Summary:

The final third of the show opened with an extensive discussion about the proliferation of fees and surcharges in modern commerce. The hosts debated restaurant fees, with Matt expressing frustration about seeing four different fees on a recent bill and preferring to just pay a higher upfront price. The conversation expanded to movie theaters implementing dynamic pricing, charging extra for opening weekends and premium releases like The Batman, with additional convenience fees through third-party sites like Fandango. Bob noted that many theater chains were running special $3-5 deals for Labor Day weekend because they’re anticipating poor fall attendance without any Marvel releases.

The tipping culture debate intensified when caller Colin complained about a sandwich shop where customers write their own orders yet still face tip prompts. This sparked a broader conversation about when tipping is appropriate versus when businesses are simply asking customers to subsidize employee wages. The hosts discussed the “Georgetown theft” trend where cashiers simply keep change without asking, and debated the ethics of tipping at various service levels. Matt argued that he tips bartenders not just for pouring drinks but for all the behind-the-scenes work like cleaning beer lines, while Chewy compared extreme football fandom to being really into Pokemon cards.

A major portion of the show focused on developing a football betting contest for the upcoming season. Matt proposed using an ESPN Fantasy app system with confidence picks (ranking games 1-10), incorporating both college and NFL games, and potentially having his kids compete as a wild card element. Bob repeatedly insisted on having “$1,000 on the barrel head” as the stakes, while Chewy wanted food involved and admitted he’s more of a “football troller” who sends memes to upset die-hard fans rather than actually watching games. Multiple callers contributed ideas, including Benjamin’s suggestion for the ESPN College Pick’em system and Eduardo’s proposal for a Go Fund Me pot split between hosts and listeners.

The show’s main contest segment featured an incredibly chaotic “Midnight Toker or Joker” game where contestant Stacy had to guess which celebrities smoke marijuana. Chewy struggled to run his own contest, being accused of being too high to properly execute it, having to clarify rules mid-game and add new ones like “three strikes and you’re out.” The pronunciation of “toker” versus “joker” became problematic, forcing Chewy to tell contestants to just say “smokes weed or not.” Stacy ultimately won Steve Miller Band tickets by correctly guessing that Lady Gaga smokes, though she missed on several others including Patrick Stewart (who does smoke despite Stacy’s guess) and Mark Wahlberg (who is recently sober).

Throughout the segment, the hosts engaged in various tangential discussions including Matt’s theory that you can tell if a woman does anal by how her eyes crinkle when she smiles (“science”), Chewy’s renewed running routine making him feel better after just two days, and Bob’s control issues preventing him from ever smoking even if it were legal. The show wrapped with promises to finalize the football contest rules and continue offering Steve Miller tickets, while maintaining the casual, irreverent tone that characterized the entire broadcast. The chemistry between the hosts remained strong despite—or perhaps because of—their frequent diversions and ability to mock each other’s quirks and habits.