🎙️ First Hour Analysis 🎙️

Matt & Bob Show Analysis – January 17, 2023

Food Items/Restaurants Talked About

• 00:08-02:00: IKEA meatballs – Chewie mentions following a “trail of meatballs” at IKEA
• 32:17-32:45: Paul Stanley reference to “Bless this mess” – Chewie’s motto
• 35:35-36:04: Domino’s mentioned in context of Rob Thomas concert discussion (sidewalk/delivery reference)

News Stories Talked About During This Portion

• 11:00-14:36: Oregon woman’s lost luggage story – United Airlines bag lost 4.5 years ago on Chicago flight, found in Houston after coming from Honduras, everything still inside
• 15:16-19:35: Irish discovery – Skeletal remains found in boarded-up house in County Cork, Ireland; body undiscovered for two decades, butter in fridge dated to 2001
• 19:35-21:47: Indian man builds life-size replica doll – Widower spent $3,000 to build silicone model of his late wife who died of COVID in 2021

“Click Click Boom” Segment

This segment was not present in this portion of the transcript.

Funny Moments and Memorable Quotes

• 00:36-01:06: Chewie introduced as “Thrall’s favorite son” and “heavyweight champ in every respect of his life” – elaborate, comedic introduction sequence
• 03:13-05:03: Matt’s IKEA shelf installation story – he recounts working hard to properly install a shelf, then his family celebrated by completely ignoring it: “their celebration was to ignore it completely…that’s how I realized how deep down they really do it”
• 05:33-06:16: Chewie on IKEA assembly – “At any point do you think I was supposed to like… I don’t know drill into some wood” – discovering dowels for the first time
• 06:17-06:46: Matt: “Why did I go? Well why didn’t you just build your own table? Start out strong my friend. Wouldn’t use real wood.”
• 07:01-07:41: Bob on IKEA’s 300 square foot apartments – discusses how everyone dreams of minimalist living but notes the 20-foot ceilings are deceptive
• 08:38-09:20: Discussion about rolling joints – Chewie mentions rolling on the kitchen table, prompts “Is that legal?” “Yeah.” “Bless this mess. This is my motto.”
• 09:39-10:01: Bob warns Chewie about his IKEA coffee table only being movable “a couple of times” before it falls apart
• 17:05-18:21: Chewie reveals he unlocks his door on nights when he’s eaten a lot “just in case” he dies so someone can find him easily
• 18:22-18:38: Matt: “I wouldn’t even know what apartment complex to go to. I don’t know where chewy lives.”
• 19:03-19:32: Bob suggests “loser alert” as alternative to Life Alert for single guys in apartments
• 22:21-32:45: THE SLIDE INCIDENT – Extended segment where Matt reveals finding Chewie’s single worn-out Walmart slide at his house, suspecting an affair with his wife, culminating in the reveal it got mixed in with Chewie’s laundry
• 28:34-29:02: Matt on the slide: “Every dude with an ankle bracelet has those same slides on” and “Those could be prison slides”
• 29:52-30:17: Matt: “I’m awarding you one slide, size 11”
• 30:52-31:23: Chewie impressed by Matt’s washer/dryer: “That’s the first time I ever used the compartment for the soap”

Phone Callers This Portion

No phone callers during this portion.

Bob’s Rock and Roll News Segment

Bob’s Rock and Roll News segment revealed the challenging nature of finding rock news in January 2023, as most bands are in rehearsals preparing for upcoming tours. The segment opened with Bob explaining that rock news currently consists mostly of “teasers and upcoming things that are upcoming” with very little actual rock activity happening.

The main story featured Paul Stanley of KISS expressing exhaustion with their “End of the Road” farewell tour, now four years running. Stanley candidly stated that while he loves performing, touring has become grueling – describing it as “three hours of elation and 21 hours of being away from home.” He revealed he often goes to bed wondering “what the hell am I doing here when I have a family at home,” and said he’ll be “ecstatic when it’s all over.” The humorous running joke suggested the farewell tour won’t actually end until 2037.

Other news items included Rob Thomas performing at the Sidewalk Angels charity concert in Atlantic City, where he brought out Matchbox 20 to perform hits like “3AM,” “Unwail,” and “Bright Lights.” Bob also covered the Mandalorian Season 3 announcement, defending the inclusion of “Grogu” (Baby Yoda) content as rock and roll relevant, telling listeners not to send hate mail to [email protected]. Brief mentions included Noel Gallagher dropping a new solo album and U2 confirming talks for a Las Vegas residency.

The Rock and Roll News Junior segment focused on Taylor Swift’s remarkable vinyl sales dominance. Swift sold 1.7 million LPs in the previous year, meaning one out of every 25 vinyl records sold was a Taylor Swift album, driven primarily by her “Midnights” album released in multiple sleeve variations. Her streaming numbers reached 4.3 billion. The segment highlighted how young fans purchased multiple variations of the same album, leading to this unprecedented market share.

Bob concluded the segment with the Rock and Roll News Salute, dedicating it to the men and women of St. David’s South Austin Hospital who were caring for his mother at the time. He acknowledged the difficulty of finding substantive rock news during this period but promised that once bands hit the road, the news would be “laden with all kinds of good information.”

Rock and Roll Shoutout/Salute

• 39:29-39:49: Rock and Roll News Salute given to “the men and women of St. David’s South Austin Hospital, caring for my moms right now”

Bands Talked About During Bob’s Rock and Roll News

• KISS
• Matchbox 20
• Carlos Santana
• U2
• Taylor Swift (Tay-Tay)
• Skrillex
• Noel Gallagher
• Adele (mentioned in comparison)
• Tom Petty (quoted “I Won’t Back Down”)

3 Paragraph Summary (Excluding Rock and Roll News)

The show opened with the hosts returning from a long MLK weekend, with Bob and Matt trading elaborate introductions. The conversation quickly turned to DIY home improvement projects from their extended weekend. Matt successfully rehung an IKEA shelf after discovering the wall wasn’t straight, going so far as to scribe and recut the back of the shelf and drill custom holes to make it fit perfectly – only to have his family celebrate by completely ignoring his work. Bob installed two Minka ceiling fans with remote controls, while Chewie assembled his first IKEA coffee table, discovering the frustration of wooden dowels and expressing dismay at IKEA’s overwhelming size and layout.

The “Nods to the Odd” segment featured three unusual news stories. First, an Oregon woman was reunited with luggage lost four and a half years ago on a United Airlines flight from Chicago – the bag mysteriously arrived in Houston from Honduras with all contents intact. Second, skeletal remains were discovered in a boarded-up house in County Cork, Ireland, where a man had apparently died and remained undiscovered for two decades, with neighbors assuming he’d moved to England. Third, an Indian widower honored his late wife by commissioning a $3,000 life-size silicone replica doll of her at her actual age, defending the choice by asking “If I can keep framed photographs at home after somebody’s death, why not a doll?” This led to discussions about dying alone, with Chewie revealing he sometimes unlocks his door after eating too much, just in case he needs to be found.

The show’s most memorable moment came when Matt presented Chewie with a mystery item – a single, worn-out Walmart slide sandal he’d found in his house. Matt initially suspected an affair when his wife immediately recognized it as “Chewie’s shoe,” leading to an extended comedic interrogation. Chewie eventually explained that his washer was broken and he’d done laundry at Matt’s house, accidentally scooping up the sandal with his clothes. The reveal showed the sandal to be completely worn down with no tread, prompting Matt to compare it to footwear worn by “every dude with an ankle bracelet” in his neighborhood and joking they were “prison slides.” The segment concluded with painting discussions, as Bob lamented the overwhelming 900+ shades of white available from Sherwin Williams and the difficulty of choosing paint colors that look different depending on lighting and time of day.

⏰ Second Hour Analysis ⏰

Analysis of Matt & Bob Show 01-17-2023 (Second Third)

Food items/restaurants talked about:

• 48:25 – Greek Villa White (paint color, not food)
• 52:05 – Joe DeRosa comedy show at Vulcan Gas Company on Dirty Six
• 53:13 – Circuit City mentioned (not food)
• 53:13 – Target at Brody Oaks
• 54:58 – Pluckers
• 54:58 – Pinehouse Pizza
• 55:23 – Last Call
• 55:23 – Sprouts
• 55:23 – Texican Cafe
• 55:23 – Fud Ruckers (former location)
• 56:38 – Great American Cookie Company at Barton Creek Square Mall
• 59:13 – Samotaro pizza truck/restaurant (opening brick and mortar at 9th and Lamar, where 40 North Pizza and Basil’s used to be, opening Wednesday)
• 1:14:35 – Thundercloud Subs

News stories talked about during this portion:

• 49:29 – Police shooting in Austin Sunday night/late evening around 11:30pm at 5th, 6th, Colorado, Lavaca Street area (not on Dirty 6th Street as expected). Man shot another person, tried to run from police, turned gun on officers and was shot and killed.
• 52:42 – Brody Oaks (Lamar and Ben White area) billion-dollar redevelopment project – originally built in 1981, seeking rezoning from Austin City Council for mixed-use development similar to Domain concept, with housing, office space, hotel (reducing from 400 to 200 rooms), restaurants
• 1:00:02 – HBO’s “The Last of Us” series – second largest debut for HBO, set in Austin but filmed in Canada, using wrong skyline and incorrect highway numbers (Interstate 183 instead of Highway 183), zombie/pandemic show starring Pedro Pascal
• 1:10:36 – Tennessee police scandal involving officer Megan Hall who allegedly had affairs with six male officers at La Vergne Police Department, including on-duty encounters, resulting in multiple firings/suspensions

Predictions made during this portion:

• 49:19 – Matt predicts Bob will be unhappy with whatever paint color he chooses for his house
• 54:00 – Discussion that Brody Oaks redevelopment could be “the end of Barton Creek Square Mall”
• 1:09:32 – Concern that if “The Last of Us” becomes successful, it might pull Pedro Pascal away from Mandalorian

Interesting facts shared during this portion:

• 53:32 – Original Brody Oaks shopping center was built in 1981
• 54:20 – All runoff from Brody Oaks area goes straight into Barton Creek
• 1:03:14 – “The Last of Us” currently has 99 rating on Rotten Tomatoes
• 1:08:37 – There’s a church in Tennessee that gives away guns as prizes for perfect attendance
• 1:14:35 – Restaurant industry joke: “It’s just cocaine and sex. That’s all that’s happening” in restaurants

Toxic Tuesday segment:

Topic: The Megan Hall/Tennessee police affair scandal – what’s wrong with workplace affairs?

Hosts’ takes:

• Matt/Chewy thought the story was “hot” and initially didn’t see major problems with consenting adults
• Bob argued it leads to “the end of society” and creates chaos – the police department may not have enough officers for shifts after the firings
• Discussion evolved into whether Americans care more about policing morals/sex than violence
• Caller Morgan pointed out the hypocrisy: police don’t get fired for shooting people but do get fired for sex
• Matt noted that Americans care more about sex than violence historically
• General consensus that while it may be between consenting adults, it becomes problematic when: 1) It’s married people affecting families, 2) It happens on-duty/at work, 3) It impacts the ability to do the job
• Discussion about guilt – Matt said he couldn’t operate with the guilt of an affair, calling it a “superpower” to not have guilt about affairs

Phone callers this portion:

• 1:07:48 – Caller explained The Last of Us zombies are caused by severe meningitis
• 1:15:45 – Toner called asking if the officer pulled people from jail cells (hosts called him “the cooler” for killing the vibe)
• 1:16:42 – Caller Ed wanted to share a story (was cut off)
• 1:19:13 – Female caller discussing morality aspects – married cops, divorces, families affected, but acknowledged they’re consenting adults
• 1:24:00 – Megan called with successful workplace affair story – worked for company with branches in different cities, had two-year affair with married dispatcher during quarterly meetings, would sit across from each other pretending not to know each other during meetings
• 1:26:53 – Morgan called questioning why cops get fired for sex but not for shooting people, making political commentary about American priorities

Funny or memorable quotes this portion:

• 49:01 – “Lick it. Rub it down. Oh no!”
• 49:13 – “Who’s your favorite white? Albert Einstein.”
• 49:26 – “I want to see that pink in there.”
• 50:20 – “Congratulations to dirty six for not being involved in the latest shooting”
• 50:33 – “The shootings have come to all of us”
• 51:04 – “Do you bring a fancier gun to a fancier area town?”
• 56:19 – “As long as there are dads out there who miss their glory days, Oakley will always have a place in Americana”
• 57:19 – “Hey, look, I need a tool, but I only need it to work once. Harbor Freight.”
• 1:11:28 – “This is what an undercover freak looked like”
• 1:11:46 – “That is Tennessee. They’re like Victor Victoria to us. It’s not about your hair and your nails girls”
• 1:12:31 – “I need your badge, your gun, and your vibrator”
• 1:14:08 – About restaurants: “It’s just cocaine and sex. That’s all that’s happening”
• 1:14:35 – “Someone’s made love on the table you’ve eaten at at the restaurant”
• 1:16:06 – Toner: “Be nice for someone to actually shoot at the cops for once instead of the other way around”
• 1:20:31 – “Now the kink got even hotter”
• 1:28:33 – Morgan: “If we aren’t firing cops for shooting people on the job, why is the line, oh, they have sex?”

Recurring jokes or gags:

• Bob’s house painting white color selection paralysis
• Chewy being “horned up” over the police affair story
• Matt constantly pointing out that Chewy didn’t prepare a proper Toxic Tuesday question
• References to Chewy’s kinks, particularly involving police/authority figures
• The “cooler” nickname for caller Toner who always kills the vibe
• Matt’s wife asking him questions he can’t possibly answer

Five Paragraph Summary:

The show continued with Bob discussing his ongoing struggle to choose a white paint color for his house, with hosts suggesting ridiculous options like “West Highland White” and “Greek Villa White.” Matt suggested Bob should just let people vote on paint names without seeing the actual colors. The conversation then moved to Austin headlines, starting with a police shooting that occurred Sunday night around 11:30pm near 5th, 6th, Colorado and Lavaca Street. Matt jokingly congratulated Dirty 6th Street for not being involved in a shooting for once, noting this was near higher-end bars like True and Luxe instead of the usual Dirty 6th location.

Bob shared that he went to see comedian Joe DeRosa perform at Vulcan Gas Company on Dirty 6th, calling it a killer set. The discussion then shifted to a billion-dollar redevelopment plan for Brody Oaks shopping center at Lamar and Ben White. Built in 1981, the developers want to create a Domain-style mixed-use development with housing, offices, reduced hotel rooms (200 instead of 400), and restaurants. The hosts debated whether this would kill Barton Creek Square Mall and discussed environmental concerns since all runoff goes to Barton Creek.

A significant portion of the show was devoted to discussing HBO’s “The Last of Us” series, which had the second-largest debut for HBO. Set in Austin but filmed in Canada, the hosts pointed out inaccuracies like the wrong skyline, non-existent Interstate 183, and overly green vegetation for Austin summer. Matt’s wife wanted to watch it because Pedro Pascal is being called “the new Zaddy.” The show is described as very dark and dystopian, compared to Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road,” featuring fast zombies and a depressing post-pandemic world. Matt noted his wife kept asking him questions about zombies and the video game that he couldn’t possibly answer.

The main Toxic Tuesday segment focused on Tennessee police officer Megan Hall, who allegedly had affairs with six male officers, including on-duty encounters. Chewy found the story “hot” and struggled to articulate what was actually wrong with it, leading to a chaotic discussion about workplace affairs, American attitudes toward sex versus violence, and moral policing. Multiple callers shared stories, including one man who had a two-year affair with his married dispatcher during quarterly work meetings. The hosts debated whether the issue was the affairs themselves or the on-duty nature and impact on job performance.

The segment evolved into deeper discussion about American priorities when caller Morgan questioned why police get fired for sex but not for shooting people. Matt noted that Americans historically care more about policing morals and sex than violence, tracing it back to the country’s Puritanical roots. The conversation touched on the “superpower” of operating without guilt in affairs, with Matt admitting he couldn’t handle the guilt. Bob argued that such behavior leads to societal breakdown and chaos, citing that the Tennessee department now barely has enough officers for shifts. The discussion included various caller perspectives and stories, with Matt ultimately acknowledging that while consenting adults can make their own choices, the complications arise when marriages, families, and professional duties are affected.

🕐 Third Hour Analysis 🕐

Analysis of Radio Show Transcript (Final Third)

News Stories Talked About

01:31:52 – Walmart Drone Delivery Program

• Walmart expanded drone delivery to 36 hubs across seven states in 2022 (Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, North Carolina, Utah, Virginia, and Texas)
• Completed over 6,000 deliveries in 2022
• Maximum delivery weight: 10 pounds
• Delivery time: as little as 30 minutes
• Delivery fee: $3.99
• Partnership with Drone Up company
• Service available to four million U.S. households

01:52:34 – NFL Playoffs/Cowboys Game

• Cowboys beat Tom Brady’s team
• Cowboys kicker missed multiple extra points (three or four PATs)
• Game was a playoff match

Interesting Facts Shared During This Portion

01:34:14 – Top five items delivered by Walmart drone in 2022:

• Bounty select-a-size paper towels
• Single 8.4 fluid ounce can of Red Bull
• Freshness guaranteed hot rotisserie chicken
• Two pound bag of lemons
• Great value cookies and cream ice cream pint

01:35:41 – “Birds are actually drones themselves by the government. They’re put here. They’re not real.” (Chuy)

01:40:09 – Hamburger Helper was Walmart’s top-selling drone delivery item as of May 2022

01:43:13 – Domino’s Pizza rewards: 60 points gets you a free pizza; points earned at 10 points per pizza ordered

01:44:48 – McDonald’s rewards: 7,200 points mentioned by Bob; bacon, egg and cheese biscuit costs 6,000 points

Food or Restaurants Talked About During This Portion

Fast Food/Chains:

• Domino’s Pizza (extensive discussion about trying to create an expensive pizza)
• McDonald’s (discussion about rewards app and dollar breakfast sandwich being discontinued)
• Chili’s (Chuy mentioned being “Chili’s boys” but stopped going)
• Sonic (Route 44 Limeade mentioned)
• Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen

New Orleans Restaurants (discussed during travel advice segment):

• Sylvain (S-Y-L-V-A-I-N) – Matt’s recommendation; had incredible cornbread with “Spicy Three Brother Cane Syrup Butter”
• Verity Mart – described as having one of the best sandwiches in the country
• Turkey and the Wolf – gets featured on Food TV network
• Café Du Monde (both Jackson Square and City Park locations)
• Emeril’s (Emeril Lagasse’s restaurant)
• A Caribbean vegetarian restaurant (Matt mentioned)

Dishes/Items Mentioned:

• Jambalaya
• Po’ Boys
• Boudin
• Blackened chicken and fish
• Rotisserie chicken
• Quarter Pounder
• Hamburger Helper (specifically Cheeseburger Macaroni)
• Deli egg rolls
• Cast iron cornbread
• Pasta bolognese

Memorable Moments During This Portion

01:36:00 – Chuy jokes about Plan B being delivered by drone: “it’s kind of like the opposite of a stork at this point… It’s the bizarro stork”

01:38:15 – Discussion about cruel irony of flying a flightless bird (rotisserie chicken) through the sky after it’s dead

01:43:52 – The Domino’s app literally shut down while Chuy was trying to build an expensive pizza

01:45:48 – Failed attempt to recreate a $79 pizza from England using Domino’s app – could only get to $32.49 despite maxing out toppings

01:51:56 – Discussion about Sad Spencer having Domino’s boxes stacked higher than a chair at his house, and getting the same delivery driver twice in one day

01:52:51 – Cowboys kicker missing 3-4 extra points in a playoff game, leading to heated debate about whether to keep him in

02:04:09 – Matt declares his World War II Museum experience was so bad that “the person who had the worst experience in World War II was me”

02:09:38 – Chuy admits he went to New Orleans with Spencer and ate at touristy places/IHOP

Callers This Portion

02:00:06 – Joe (Rando caller)

• Asked Matt for New Orleans travel advice
• Taking his wife and 21-year-old stepdaughter for her birthday in late March
• Staying for a weekend (two nights)
• Wife wants to do a swamp tour
• Matt advised against World War II Museum and swamp tour due to limited time
• Recommended staying in Garden District or near Canal Street
• Suggested City Park for Café Du Monde instead of Jackson Square location

01:59:13 – Loco (character/bit)

• Called to say the Cowboys kicker owes somebody money
• Suggested he was shaving points
• Mentioned seeing Bob at the roller derby

Predictions Made During This Portion

01:32:17 – “I think there’s going to be a lot of drones missing in 2020” (Speaker about drone theft)

01:57:44 – Discussion about Cowboys’ next game against 49ers, with joke about how many extra points the kicker will miss

Five Paragraph Summary

The final third of the Matt & Bob show from January 17, 2023, focused heavily on Walmart’s drone delivery program expansion. The hosts discussed how Walmart now operates 36 drone delivery hubs across seven states and completed over 6,000 deliveries in 2022, with packages up to 10 pounds delivered in as little as 30 minutes for a $3.99 fee. The revelation of the top five drone-delivered items sparked humorous commentary, with items ranging from ice cream and lemons to Red Bull and paper towels, leading the hosts to question why anyone would need these items delivered so urgently by drone.

A significant portion of the show involved an extended attempt by the hosts to recreate a $79 pizza from England using the Domino’s app. Despite selecting the largest size and attempting to add every possible topping, they could only reach $32.49 before the app reached its topping limit and eventually shut down entirely. This led to a broader discussion about food delivery apps, rewards points, and how fast food chains have “gamified” food ordering. Bob revealed he has 7,200 McDonald’s points, while Chuy showed he has a Domino’s app with points ready to use, though he admitted he downloaded it but never actually ordered.

The conversation shifted to sports when discussing the Cowboys playoff game, where the kicker missed three to four extra points (PATs). This sparked a heated debate between Matt and Chuy about whether the coach should have kept the kicker in the game to rebuild his confidence or benched him after repeated failures. The hosts debated the mental aspects of sports performance, with Matt arguing that keeping the kicker in for “meaningless” extra points in a blowout game was important for his confidence heading into the next playoff game, while Chuy maintained that the job was so simple anyone could do it.

A caller named Joe sought Matt’s advice about visiting New Orleans with his wife and 21-year-old stepdaughter for her birthday. Matt provided detailed recommendations, advising against the World War II Museum (which he had a terrible experience at) and swamp tours due to limited time. He suggested staying in the Garden District or near Canal Street, visiting City Park instead of the touristy Jackson Square for Café Du Monde, and emphasized that New Orleans is one of the best food cities in the world. The conversation revealed Matt’s deep knowledge of New Orleans cuisine, mentioning restaurants like Sylvain and discussing the diversity of the food scene beyond typical Cajun/Creole stereotypes.

The show concluded with continued banter about New Orleans food culture, with Matt challenging Chuy’s and Bob’s limited perspectives on what the city has to offer. Chuy admitted he previously only hit tourist spots and ate at places like IHOP when visiting with Spencer, while Bob acknowledged he’s not a foodie and doesn’t travel for food experiences. The discussion highlighted the hosts’ different approaches to travel and dining, with Matt advocating for exploring local food scenes beyond tourist traps, even as he playfully teased about the jambalaya at Olive Garden. The segment ended with Chuy expressing interest in driving to New Orleans that weekend, with Matt offering to make him a map of places to visit.