🎙️ First Hour Analysis 🎙️

Analysis of Matt & Bob Show Transcript (12-12-2023)

Food items/restaurants talked about

• Breakfast tacos (07:12.537)
• Hot Cheetos (08:26.186)
• Big Red or Cherry Kool-Aid mentioned (08:22.640)
• Orange Julius at Mall of America (22:43.182)
• General references to taco trucks (01:48.884)

News stories talked about during this portion

• Housing Amendment/Injunctions (10:44.669) – Wealthy folks filing injunctions against home amendment that would allow apartment complexes in backyards
• Best/Worst States for Millennials to Buy Homes (12:52.635) – Ranking of states including Iowa (#1), Minnesota (#2), Maine (#3), West Virginia (#4), Michigan (#5), Indiana (#6), Utah (#7), Idaho (#8), Wyoming (#9), and New Hampshire (#10)
• Parking Lot Incident (04:00.930) – Man throwing up blood in the station parking lot

“Click Click Boom” segment

There is no “Click Click Boom” segment in this portion of the transcript.

Funny moments or memorable quotes during this portion

• Bob’s parking lot story (04:00.930): Bob describes a man “throwing up blood” in the parking lot, leading to discussion about Chris (security) having to check it out
• Matt’s observation about Bob backing up Chris (09:00.224): Matt mocks Bob for claiming to “back up” security while staying at a safe distance: “It sounds like you’re the voyeur for the security”
• Bob’s shooting joke (09:59.213): When asked if he could take a shot at 60 yards, Bob says “I was going to scream like a little baby”
• Tawny neighborhood discussion (10:59.570): Matt uses the word “tawny” incorrectly and the group debates what it means
• Sound effects fail (40:32.057): Smokey accidentally blasts everyone’s ears with the Rock and Roll News Junior sound effect, causing Bob to compare it to the opening of Saving Private Ryan
• Space trivia (24:28.808): Bob declares “in space, no one can hear you scream” and Chewy challenges this logic
• Movie confusion (25:35.070): Bob confuses multiple movies including Event Horizon, Deepwater Horizon, and Space Cowboys
• Slipknot merchandise observation (33:34.516): Matt notes Slipknot shirts “do not make their shirts smaller than probably an extra extra large”

Phone callers this portion

No phone callers during this portion.

Bob’s Rock and Roll News segment – 5 paragraph summary

Bob Fonseca presents himself as “Rock’s last great reporter” and acknowledges that the show is in the “dog days” of rock and roll news with most rockers off the road for the holidays. He jokes that rock and rollers are busy decorating trees, fighting with their wives, and trying to sneak calls to their girlfriends. Despite the slow news cycle, Bob manages to find several headlines to report.

The main story features Slipknot, a band Bob admits is not in his wheelhouse. Next year marks the 25th anniversary of Slipknot’s self-titled debut album, and the band has announced their first tour of 2024 with 11 performances in Europe and the UK. Bob offers practical advice to fans, suggesting they wait until the week of the show to buy tickets at heavily discounted prices rather than purchasing on the first day of sale.

Bob reports on a reunion between Wolfie Van Halen and Michael Anthony at a Mammoth Van Halen concert in Las Vegas on December 9th. This was significant as it was the first time the original Van Halen bassist had met his replacement in two decades. The lineup change had occurred in 2006 when Eddie Van Halen’s son Wolf was just 15 years old. Anthony wrote on social media praising the show and expressing pride in Wolfie. Bob also shares an insider tidbit that Michael Anthony’s Jack Daniel’s bottle on stage actually contained iced tea, knowledge he gained from working at the Irwin Center.

The Pogues reunited at Shane McGowan’s funeral, who died on November 30th. Bob admits he doesn’t know much about the Pogues and has to confirm that McGowan was actually the frontman of the band. Despite not being a Pogues fan, Bob expresses appreciation for Irish music in general, citing his love for the Chieftains and Van Morrison, particularly praising Morrison’s performance in The Last Waltz.

For Rock and Roll News Junior, Bob covers Jack Black’s surprise appearance with the Jonas Brothers at their final tour date at Barclays Center in Brooklyn. Black rose from beneath the stage dressed as Bowser from the Super Mario Brothers movie, complete with green tracksuit and red mohawk, performing his viral song “Peaches.” Bob concludes with a Rock and Roll News Salute to listener Clark, who donated about a dozen classic rock LPs at a recent remote, which Bob cleaned using his ultrasonic cleaner.

Rock and Roll shoutout/salute

Clark (44:45.293) – Received a rock and roll news salute for donating approximately a dozen classic rock LPs to Bob at a recent remote broadcast. Bob cleaned them with his ultrasonic cleaner, re-bagged and tagged them.

Bands talked about during Bob’s rock and roll news segment

• Slipknot
• Van Halen/Mammoth Van Halen
• The Pogues
• Jonas Brothers
• Sha Na Na
• The Grateful Dead
• The Band
• The Chieftains
• Van Morrison
• Brownsville Station
• Quiet Riot
• Slade
• Guns N’ Roses
• Bob Marley

3 paragraph summary of this portion of the show – excluding Bob’s Rock and Roll news

The show opens with introductions of the hosts and crew, including Matt Bearden (who arrives late), Bob Fonseca, Chewy El Dorado (producer), and Smokey (trainee). Bob immediately launches into a story about arriving at the station to find a man throwing up blood in the parking lot. The hosts debate whether it was actually blood or possibly Hot Cheetos or cherry Kool-Aid, with Matt questioning Bob’s claim that he “backed up” security guard Chris while maintaining a “safe distance.” The parking lot incident sets a chaotic tone for the morning, with the hosts joking about the various delights their parking lot attracts.

The main discussion segment focuses on a news story about the best and worst states for millennials to buy homes. Matt presents a ranking system that scores states on factors including affordability, employment, quality of life, healthcare, and safety. The list reveals Iowa as the number one state, followed by Minnesota, Maine, West Virginia, and Michigan rounding out the top five. The hosts debate the merits of each location, with Chewy expressing skepticism about moving anywhere that lacks a good food or music scene. They joke about being able to buy entire towns in Michigan for the price of a fixer-upper in Austin, and discuss how Austin ranks in the top three cities nationally for millennial desirability, contributing to the city’s high housing costs.

The conversation takes various entertaining detours, including a discussion about Starlink internet availability at Costco for $120 per month, Bob’s confusion about multiple space-themed movies, and his revelation about working on the film “Fandango” while at UT with director Kevin Reynolds. Bob shares a story about being in a film production class taught by blacklisted director Edward Dmytryk, where classmate Kevin Reynolds created the short film “Montezuma’s Revenge” that later became “Fandango” with Kevin Costner. The segment concludes with Smokey accidentally triggering the Rock and Roll News Junior sound effect at full volume, temporarily deafening everyone and prompting Bob to compare the experience to the opening of Saving Private Ryan.

⏰ Second Hour Analysis ⏰

Analysis of Radio Show Transcript (Second Third)

Food items/restaurants talked about

• Hot pepper bacon jam from Terrapin Farms – gift received in studio, described as “great on burgers” (around 1:15:00)
• Plosky’s mini bonds – mentioned as being served at Blue Santa delivery event (1:07:16)
• Gumbo at Uptown Sports Bar – Matt says it’s “incredible” (59:45)
• Hamburger at Uptown Sports Bar – described as “incredible” and Matt mentions a friend said it’s better than Clark’s (around 1:00:00)
• Steak frite at Uptown Sports Bar – newly added to menu (1:00:04)
• Tomahawk steak – mentioned hypothetically as costing $89 (1:01:31)
• Bondo – Chewy wants to try this in San Antonio (1:23:28)
• Tacos al carbon place in San Antonio – described as “fantastic” (1:24:00)
• Cheetos – mentioned as snack food (1:26:00)
• 1800 Reserve tequila – gift received, described as “about a hundred and twenty dollar bottle” (1:22:00)
• Discussion of cover albums including references to songs but not food-related
• Clark’s burger – mentioned in comparison to Uptown’s burger

News stories talked about during this portion

• Texas abortion law ruling (55:15-57:19): Discussion of Texas Supreme Court ruling that no abortions are allowed in Texas whatsoever, even in cases of medical emergency to the mother. A woman who needed an abortion for medical reasons went to another state. The hosts note this is clarification that the exception for harm to the mother doesn’t actually exist in practice.
• Elon Musk reinstating Alex Jones on Twitter/X (57:19-58:15): Brief mention that Elon Musk had banned Alex Jones but has now allowed him back on the platform. Matt notes “it’s probably bad for some people’s mental health to have Alex back on Twitter, but for this show and us having some cool sound drops, it’s pretty good news.”
• Ron DeSantis wearing lifts in his boots (1:31:16-1:33:00): Discussion of social media posts showing Ron DeSantis appearing to wear lifts/high heels inside cowboy boots, causing the toes to curl up.

Predictions made during this portion

• Matt predicts Ron DeSantis is “probably 5’5 and trying to be 5’7” with his lifts (1:31:57)
• Chewy sarcastically predicts “Vivek Ramaswamy” will “come out, prove Matt wrong, fixes the entire American system” (1:33:26)

Interesting facts shared during this portion

• Blue Santa history (1:02:56): Austin’s Blue Santa program is in its 51st year and Austin has the first original Blue Santa program
• Blue Santa scope (1:03:00): They’re serving 5,000 families this year, which equates to about 18,000 kids
• Michael Jackson’s voice (49:00-49:40): Discussion that Michael Jackson allegedly used a softer voice for public/interviews but spoke in a regular voice in private, according to interviews with rappers who hung out with him
• Ghost kitchens struggling (1:27:32): Bob mentions an article came out this week about how ghost kitchens have fallen off since the pandemic
• Austin population turnover (1:10:36): About 50% of people living in Austin now didn’t live there five or six years ago
• Cover albums as contract fulfillment (50:00): Discussion that bands sometimes do cover albums to fulfill record label contracts when they don’t want to write new material

Guests in the studio or special visitors

• Debbie from Operation Blue Santa (1:02:00-1:11:48): Called in via phone to discuss Blue Santa’s toy delivery program, the need for volunteers for Saturday December 16th delivery day, and specific toy needs (infants 0-3 and older kids 11-14)

Recurring jokes or gags

• Bob’s listening room/vinyl collection: Multiple references to Bob receiving gifts for his listening room, knowing how to handle records properly (1:20:00)
• Chewy being overweight/eating: References to his body, “boobies jiggling” during soccer (1:16:32), his food-related content
• Matt being mean to the crew: Matt apologizes for “taking lots of shots at you guys lately” and attributes it to being in constant pain (1:17:01). He also continues to be mean to Smokey the producer for being late on breaks and not being prepared
• Matt’s lack of Spanish: When discussing tequila brand, someone asks if Matt knows who makes it, and there’s a joke about asking the Latino person (Chewy) (1:22:41)
• Smokey being a terrible producer: Continued running joke about him missing cues, being late on breaks, not being focused (52:42-54:13)
• Sexual tension/harassment jokes: Multiple crude jokes between hosts including comment about “sexually harassing each other” when mics are off (1:13:20)

Funny or memorable quotes

• Matt on cover songs: “It’s easier to do terrible covers than iconic covers” (47:59)
• Chewy on Michael Jackson’s voice: “He did that for y’all” (after describing MJ using his regular voice) (49:20)
• Bob on capitalism: “All right, what’s the alternative there Karl Marx? Yeah, what’s going on over there Hillary?” (1:29:01)
• Chewy’s sarcastic capitalism take: “Boy it’s great to step on someone while you’re coming up on their neck ain’t that the best” (1:29:16)
• Matt on DeSantis: “Yeah, he’s a man who’s wearing high heels that are made to look like he’s not wearing high heels” (1:32:17)
• Matt apologizing: “I have been taking lots of shots at you guys lately…I’ve hurt so bad for so long and I can’t take enough meds to get rid of it that I realize that it just made me lashing out at you guys” (1:17:01)
• Bob on gift opening: “That sounds like a lie. That sounds like you’re just making stuff up” (about Matt’s promised gift) (1:15:00)
• Matt on his daughter listening to Soulja Boy: “It’s funny because I hear those songs and it’s like when we used to listen to like classic rock or oldies” (1:21:57)
• Matt on Daniel Van Kirk: “Daniel was so good at doing this character that I couldn’t do the rest of the podcast…I would forget that it was on stage in front of people and I would just watch him” (1:29:49)

Five Paragraph Summary

This middle portion of the Matt & Bob show opens with an extended discussion about cover songs, with the hosts debating the merits of various artists covering iconic songs. They discuss how Guns N’ Roses, Metallica, and others have released entire cover albums, often to fulfill recording contracts. The conversation touches on Michael Jackson’s alleged use of a different voice in private versus public, the Marshall Tucker Band, and various musical interpretations. The banter reveals the hosts’ deep knowledge of music history while maintaining their characteristic irreverent tone.

The show transitions to receiving and opening Christmas gifts from listeners and the “Media Room” community. Chewy receives a Blood In Blood Out t-shirt and a Michael Jackson Thriller picture disc vinyl, which delights him. Bob receives an expensive bottle of 1800 Reserve tequila, and Matt gets a watch and hot pepper bacon jam. The gift-opening segment showcases the relationship between the hosts and their audience, with genuine appreciation mixed with their usual crude humor. Bob demonstrates his vinyl expertise by showing Chewy how to properly handle a picture disc record.

A significant portion of the show is devoted to an interview with Debbie from Operation Blue Santa, Austin’s 51-year-old toy donation and delivery program. She explains that they’re serving 5,000 families (18,000 kids) this year and desperately need volunteers for delivery day on Saturday, December 16th. The hosts promoted a recent toy drive event they hosted and discuss how the city’s rapid growth means many new residents don’t know about Blue Santa since the traditional Christmas parade hasn’t happened in years. Debbie emphasizes the particular need for toys for infants (0-3) and older children (11-14), especially girls.

The hosts briefly touch on serious news, including a Texas Supreme Court ruling that effectively eliminates all abortion exceptions in the state, even for medical emergencies endangering the mother’s life. They also discuss Elon Musk reinstating Alex Jones on Twitter/X and the phenomenon of ghost kitchens struggling post-pandemic. Matt apologizes to his co-hosts for being particularly harsh lately, attributing it to chronic pain. The conversation reveals both the show’s willingness to address serious topics and Matt’s self-awareness about how his physical condition affects his mood.

The segment concludes with discussions about upcoming projects and events. The hosts promote their live show happening the next night and mention that comedian Daniel Van Kirk will be calling in at 9 AM to do his famous Mark Wahlberg impression. Chewy announces he’ll be streaming a talk show on Twitch on Friday night under the handle “Nomversation.” They also engage in political discussion about Ron DeSantis apparently wearing lifts in his cowboy boots, leading to mockery of his appearance and speculation about the 2024 presidential race. Throughout this portion, the hosts maintain their chemistry of mixing serious discussion with constant ribbing and crude humor.

🕐 Third Hour Analysis 🕐

Analysis of Matt & Bob Show (12-12-2023) – Final Third

Food or restaurants talked about during this portion:

• Discussion of tacos being elevated food and being the biggest food trend in the city (01:58:27)
• Reference to Sonic and Dairy Queen at ends of small town strips (01:42:32)
• Discussion of hot dogs being poor people’s portable food for field workers (01:59:00)
• Reference to Wendy’s and Little Caesars at Randall’s parking lot (01:43:07)
• Mention of salad bar dressing sampling (02:10:20)
• Milano cookies and X-Lacs mentioned (01:46:49)
• Reference to Starbucks (01:46:26)

Any news stories talked about during this portion:

• Discussion about Texas secession being on the next ballot according to Newsweek (01:36:06)
• Gas prices being down (01:33:59)
• Political discussion about presidential candidates including Vivek Ramaswamy, Chris Christie, and various others (01:33:34-01:35:30)

Any interesting facts shared during this portion:

• Dan Van Kirk shot his comedy special in Chicago at the Lincoln Lodge on November 11th (01:40:10)
• Dan Van Kirk is from Rochelle, Illinois, a small farm town with 9,000 people and about 400 kids in his entire high school (01:46:18)
• Rochelle is 90 minutes from Chicago but “85 years apart” culturally (01:48:14)
• Dan went to the theater conservatory at Roosevelt University in Chicago (01:46:06)
• He was one of four straight guys in his entire theater program (01:47:48)
• Dan lived in LA for his first six years without a car (02:01:38)
• Dan didn’t get a car until he was 18 and bought himself a ’72 four-door Chevelle (02:00:30)
• Intermittent fasting discussed as just being poor/not having enough food (01:59:29)
• Grounding discussed as walking barefoot in dirt at first light (02:01:05)

Any memorable moments during this portion:

• The entire “Johnny Rude” bit running throughout the show with various examples of rude behavior (02:06:00-02:10:40)
• Dan Van Kirk doing his Mark Wahlberg impression and discussing Wahlberg’s various habits (01:54:32-01:58:05)
• Discussion of Dan’s hometown shows where his cousin finished his joke and the right side of the audience never laughed (01:40:55)
• The manifestation/vision board discussion where a woman’s voice mysteriously appeared from the hallway saying “vision board” (02:16:19)
• Discussion about trends in health just being how poor people have always lived (cold showers, fasting, walking, etc.) (01:58:07-02:02:35)
• Bob revealing he bowls left-handed but writes right-handed, throws baseball left-handed but bats right-handed (02:08:52)

Any guests on the show:

• Dan Van Kirk (Daniel Van Kirk) – Comedian appearing at Cap City Comedy Club on Thursday night. He previously appeared on their podcast during Moon Tower and was their last guest before COVID shutdown. He does the podcast “Dumb People Town” with the Sklars and “Pen Pals” with Rory Scovel. (01:37:54-02:05:46)

Any callers this portion:

• Warren – Called to discuss Texas secession being on the ballot and suggested Willie Nelson for president and Chuck Norris for vice president (01:36:03)

Any predictions made during this portion:

• Prediction that the next four years will be “more superhero-y than ever” regarding the presidency (01:34:16)
• Warren predicted they don’t need to worry about president of the United States, just president of Texas (01:36:14)

What was the “Kick Out the Jams” segment about:

• The show played out with discussion of vision boards, manifesting goals, and the ongoing Johnny Rude bit with Tonya contributing at the end (02:13:37-02:18:16)

Five Paragraph Summary:

The final portion of the Matt & Bob show on December 12, 2023, featured comedian Dan Van Kirk as the main guest, calling in from Los Angeles at 7 a.m. his time to promote his upcoming show at Cap City Comedy Club. The conversation meandered through various topics including Dan’s recent comedy special taping in Chicago, his small-town Illinois upbringing in Rochelle, and his transition from high school jock to theater kid. Dan shared entertaining stories about performing in his hometown where audience members he grew up with showed him love but refused to laugh during his show, embodying that classic Midwestern stoicism.

A significant portion of the interview focused on Dan’s brilliant observational comedy about health and wellness trends essentially being repackaged poverty. The hosts and Dan riffed extensively on how intermittent fasting is just not having enough food, cold plunges are just being poor with a broken water heater, and “grounding” is simply not owning shoes. This led to discussions about Mark Wahlberg’s lifestyle habits, including his personal chapel, ice baths on demand, and lightning-fast golf games with caddies positioned at every hole. Dan’s Wahlberg impression became a running bit throughout the segment, with the hosts admitting they try to do it for weeks after hanging out with him.

The political climate provided fodder for discussion, with caller Warren suggesting Texas secession was on the next ballot according to Newsweek, leading to humorous speculation about who would lead an independent Texas (Willie Nelson and Chuck Norris were suggested). The conversation touched on various presidential candidates and the hosts’ frustration with Americans expecting presidents to be superheroes rather than just administrators. This evolved into fantasy cabinets including Belichick, John Daly, and various Texas celebrities like Beyoncé and Bun B as Secretary of Treasury.

Throughout the broadcast, the recurring “Johnny Rude” bit provided comedic interludes, with the hosts listing increasingly absurd examples of rude behavior attributed to this fictional character, from stepping on Jordans to pushing all elevator buttons to farting in general directions. The bit escalated throughout the show with Tonya eventually contributing her own Johnny Rude story at the end. This running gag served as a humorous throughline connecting the various segments and conversations.

The show concluded with discussions about manifestation and vision boards, prompted by the hosts asking what everyone wanted to manifest for the new year. Bob wanted a Porsche Cayenne, Chuy showed pictures of e-bikes taped to his refrigerator, and the conversation devolved into the mechanics of how vision boards work. A mysterious woman’s voice from the hallway (revealed to be Tonya) interjected “vision board” at the perfect moment, leading to her joining the conversation briefly before the show ended with final Johnny Rude callbacks and appreciation for their strong ratings heading into the end of the year.