Dudley and Bob
Dudley and Bob

Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Friday, October 7, 2016

This Show

Part 1: friday morning house party

Dale discusses his health issues (low vitamin D, pre-diabetes) and Bob’s stressful experience getting his son’s driver’s license. The cast debates Daniel’s bizarre food logic about buy-one-get-one deals, with Daniel refusing free items because he doesn’t want to ‘accumulate’ food. They also review Fast Food Fanatic items, including a centipede burger and mac-and-cheese Cheetos pizza. Carissa’s dog Stevie Ticks is in studio. The show touches on Austin restaurants caught cheating employees out of wages.

Segments

  • Show Open [00:00:02] — Station promo and sponsor reads for Whole Foods Market and Austin RV Expo. Show intro featuring Dale Dudley, Bob Fonseca, Matt Bearden, Daniel Gallo, Carissa Jade, and Stevie Ticks.
  • Bob’s Driver’s License Drama [00:02:47] — Dale teases Bob about making his son’s driver’s license test overly dramatic, requiring 15 forms and a last-minute scramble. Bob defends the stress, saying there were no other appointments available for the rest of the year. The son passed with a 93.
  • The 1950s Mask Discussion [00:03:16] — Dale references Bruce Springsteen’s book about wearing ‘the mask of what a 1950s man was supposed to be’ and connects it to Bob’s perfectionism and rigidity. Bob resists calling his therapy ‘therapy,’ preferring ‘life coaching’ or ‘mindfulness.’
  • Dale’s Health News [00:11:51] — Dr. Kareem Ozer calls Dale at home to discuss blood work results. Dale has low vitamin D again and is now pre-diabetic. The doctor prescribes high-dose vitamin D supplements and metabolism medication. Dale’s adrenal glands are back to normal.
  • Mysterious Legal Situation [00:19:03] — Dale cryptically mentions being put in a position to make a decision involving lawyers, cops, and district attorneys about something from long ago. He doesn’t elaborate on air.
  • Steven the Plumber Calls [00:22:02] — Steven, who met Bob in the Taco Cabana parking lot after the taco-stealing incident, calls in. He’s a licensed plumber with JL Phelps plumbing and a side show subscriber. Dale takes his number for his wife’s business.
  • Intern Drama [00:24:50] — Discussion about an intern who quit after being called in for a meeting about his attendance. Carissa explains he cited unreliable transportation and being broke. Matt tried to engage him but found zero ‘engageability.’
  • Austin Restaurant Wage Violations [00:26:13] — Dale reports that 95% of Austin restaurants were initially found cheating employees out of wages, with 60 still in violation. Many were Asian restaurants, and violations involved tip pooling and not filling gaps to meet minimum wage.
  • Fast Food Fanatic: Daniel’s BOGO Problem [00:29:53] — Dale offers Daniel a buy-one-get-one-free pizza coupon. Daniel refuses, saying he doesn’t like to ‘accumulate’ or ‘double down’ on food. He tells a story about refusing free ice cream with a frozen pizza because he already had ice cream at home. The entire cast is baffled.
  • Carissa Defends Daniel [00:32:39] — Carissa tries to explain Daniel’s food aversion as a disorder, saying some people feel stressed by having food in the house they might feel obligated to eat. Dale and Matt are not convinced.
  • Fast Food Fanatic Continues [00:35:18] — Discussion of various fast food items: centipede burger from Zombie Burger in Des Moines, Sonic after-hours menu hacks including the purple orgasm drink and triple bypass burger, Double Dave’s peanut butter banana pizza, and Jimmy John’s Twitter clapback.
  • Big Mac Statistics [00:43:28] — Only one in five millennials have tried a Big Mac. Discussion of McDonald’s special sauce (Thousand Island dressing). Daniel complains about pulled pork getting stuck in his teeth ‘traditionally.’
  • Mac and Cheetos Pizza Video [00:48:03] — They watch a YouTube video from Hell Thy Junk Food showing how to make mac and cheese Cheetos pizza with pulled pork. Daniel is visibly disgusted by Velveeta on pizza. Bob comments the YouTuber ‘shot way out of his league’ with his girlfriend.

Recurring Bits

  • Fast Food Fanatic [00:29:53] — Segment derailed by Daniel refusing buy-one-get-one deals, then covered Sonic menu hacks, centipede burger, Double Dave’s peanut butter banana pizza, Big Mac statistics, and mac and Cheetos pizza
  • Friday Morning House Party [00:00:02] — This is the titled segment, though the actual Friday content is scattered throughout
  • The Sideshow [00:03:37] — Referenced when Dale mentions a conversation from the side show about Bob being in therapy
  • Audience of One [00:12:03] — Stevie Ticks (Carissa’s dog) is in studio as audience of one

Callers

  • Steven [00:22:09] — Called to say he met Bob at Taco Cabana after the taco-stealing incident and wanted to say hello Gave Dale his contact info as a licensed plumber for Dale’s wife’s business. Complimented Bob for being nice off the air.

Quotes

We put on the mask of what a 1950s man was supposed to be.

Dale Dudley [00:03:59]

I like her a lot better than I like Carissa. I just love dogs.

Dale Dudley [00:12:25]

I gotta be on some medication that speeds up your metabolism. I gotta lose the weight again.

Dale Dudley [00:16:50]

I’m not about accumulating. If I already have something, I don’t want another one.

Daniel Gallo [00:30:42]

Pork traditionally gets stuck in my teeth more.

Daniel Gallo [00:47:10]

Part 1: how to tip and Fast Food Fanatics

Part 1 of the October 7, 2016 show. PopCop delivers the news with jokes about Kim Kardashian’s robbery, Starbucks pay raises triggering discussion about tipping, and creepy clown sightings. Dale discusses his pre-diabetes diagnosis and diet, shares his sister’s wedding announcement from 1968, and explains the Audience of One repeat-booking controversy. Extended segments on the clown hysteria sweeping central Texas, Rush Limbaugh claiming hurricanes are politicized to push climate change, and Alex Jones telling people to vote Trump to survive. Dale shares a long, graphic story about a misadventure with a sex toy.

Segments

  • Show Open and Flu Shot Reminder [00:00:01] — Dale opens the show, mentions Matt stepped out, announces flu shots coming to the station on the 19th, and discusses diet advice from Dr. Osorbab.
  • PopCop News Segment [00:01:37] — Matt delivers PopCop with jokes about Kim Kardashian’s security, Jessica Biel eating in the shower, creepy clowns, Trump, Hillary, Starbucks pay raises, and France banning plastic cutlery.
  • Audience of One Controversy Begins [00:06:00] — Discussion about today’s Audience of One, Tracy, who has been here before but came back because Matt was present last time. Debate about repeat booking policies.
  • Dale’s Sister’s Wedding Story [00:09:24] — Dale shows a full-page newspaper wedding announcement from 1968 for his oldest sister, shares dark family stories about her current situation with addiction.
  • Audience of One Booking Policy Explained [00:14:00] — Dale explains that attractive women can be repeat Audiences of One but men cannot. Reveals Daniel keeps a file of attractive past Audiences of One for emergency fill-ins.
  • Tracy’s Heritage Discussion [00:17:23] — Tracy reveals her DNA test shows she is 40% Native American, with African and South Iberian ancestry. Dale compares her to 1972 Cher.
  • Creepy Clown Arrests in Bastrop [00:21:03] — Dale discusses arrests in connection with clown threats in Bastrop County. Explains the difference between actual creepy clown sightings (standing in woods) and fake threats on Twitter.
  • Professional Clowns Speaking Out [00:27:30] — Audio clip of professional clowns upset about clown hysteria ruining their business, including Jordan Jones who started ‘Clown Lives Matter’ movement.
  • Hurricane Matthew and Climate Change Politics [00:34:02] — Dale plays Rush Limbaugh audio claiming the government exaggerates hurricanes to push climate change agenda. Mocks Limbaugh’s conspiracy theories.
  • Trump Supporters and Facts [00:45:00] — Audio of Trump supporter telling reporter that ‘the minutiae’ of whether policies work is ‘irrelevant’ to the movement. Parallels drawn to Nazi Germany.
  • Julian Assange and Alex Jones [00:48:03] — Discussion of Assange canceling his promised Hillary Clinton bombshell. Alex Jones audio claiming you must vote Trump to live.
  • Explicit Sex Toy Story [00:50:03] — Dale tells extended, graphic story about misusing a sex toy device during a period when he and Amanda were reconciling. Eventually discovered proper usage when daughter found it.

Recurring Bits

  • Pop Cop [00:01:37] — Matt delivers PopCop news with jokes about Kim Kardashian, clowns, Trump, Starbucks wage increases triggering tipping discussion
  • Audience of One [00:06:00] — Extended discussion about Tracy being a repeat Audience of One, revealing Daniel’s policy of keeping attractive women on file for emergency bookings

Guests

  • Tracy (other) [00:06:00] — Repeat Audience of One, 40% Native American heritage, came back hoping to see Matt but he was out

Callers

  • Ryan [00:12:30] — Called to ‘lighten the mood’ after cancer discussion Hosts confused about why he was calling, he awkwardly said ‘have a good Friday’ and hung up
  • Brandon [00:42:20] — Called to explain climate change debate is about what causes it, not whether it exists, claimed all planets are heating up Dale questioned his expertise, Brandon revealed he is a mosaic artist making $45-50K. Dale invited him to hypothetical art show. Matt later asked him to tweet sources.

Quotes

Now I’m going to feel 100% less guilty when I don’t put any tip in the jar.

Matt Bearden [00:03:28]

You’re not following the rules of the clown fad. No one ever made threats.

Dale Dudley [00:23:14]

If you hear somebody bring up a snowball and talk about global warming, you’re talking to an actual idiot.

Dale Dudley [00:42:11]

This is the kind of people when Mussolini got overturned they drug out and beat to a pulp.

Dale Dudley [00:46:03]

Alex, F your God. Tell him to go F himself with that C-ring I got.

Dale Dudley [01:02:00]

Part 2: Pop Cop and Global Warming

This segment opens with Pop Cop delivering satirical pop culture news, then devolves into extended discussions about audience-of-one booking, creepy clowns, global warming conspiracy theories from Rush Limbaugh and Matt Drudge, and Alex Jones’ political rants. Dale shares an embarrassing personal story about misusing a sex toy, which consumes significant airtime. The hosts debate climate change denial, with a caller offering theories about planetary warming. The segment closes with extended criticism of Alex Jones and right-wing media figures promoting Trump.

Segments

  • Pop Cop Returns [00:01:37] — Matt delivers satirical pop culture news including Kim Kardashian security, Jessica Biel eating in the shower, creepy clowns, Hillary Clinton and Al Gore, Starbucks pay raises, France banning plastic cutlery, celebrity arrests, Halloween statistics, and small talk making people happy.
  • Audience of One Controversy [00:14:56] — Extended discussion about how Daniel books the Audience of One, revealing he brought back Tracy (an attractive repeat guest) when someone’s aunt died. The hosts discuss whether Daniel keeps a ‘hot chicks’ file and debate the booking policies.
  • Creepy Clown Arrests [00:21:18] — Discussion of actual arrests in Bastrop County related to clown threats on social media. Dale criticizes kids for making Twitter threats instead of just standing in woods wearing clown costumes, which he finds was the funny part of the trend.
  • Hurricane Matthew and Climate Change Politics [00:32:00] — Dale plays Rush Limbaugh audio claiming the government exaggerates hurricane intensity to promote climate change. Extended discussion of right-wing climate denial, with caller Brandon arguing about what causes warming.
  • Trump Supporter Interview [00:45:06] — Audio clip from Young Turks of Trump supporter dismissing tax policy questions as ‘minutia’ and calling the interviewer ‘annoying’ and ‘short’ when pressed on facts.
  • Nazi Germany Comparison [00:47:00] — Dale draws parallels between Trump’s ‘Make America Great Again’ slogan and post-WWI Germany’s grievances, clarifying he’s not saying Trump will kill people but noting the pattern of revenge-driven nationalism.
  • Alex Jones Audio [00:48:15] — Multiple Alex Jones clips played, including his reaction to Julian Assange not releasing promised Hillary Clinton information, and Jones telling listeners to ‘vote Donald Trump if you want to live’ while calling opponents ‘satanic’ and ‘megalomaniacs.’
  • Dale’s Sex Toy Story [00:50:01] — Extended, explicit story about Dale and Amanda buying a complicated cock ring at an adult store, Dale putting it on wrong and experiencing pain, then his daughter finding it months later. The story consumes significant airtime with detailed discussion.

Recurring Bits

  • Pop Cop [00:01:37] — Matt delivers satirical pop culture news including Kim Kardashian, creepy clowns, Ted Cruz, Trump comments, Al Gore joining Clinton campaign, Starbucks pay raises, France banning plastic, celebrity name arrest coincidence, Halloween statistics, and small talk study

Guests

  • Tracy (other) [00:14:56] — Audience of One, repeat appearance from two years ago. Revealed to be 40% Native American with Spanish ancestry. Daniel brought her back as last-minute replacement when scheduled guest canceled due to family death.

Callers

  • Ryan [00:12:35] — Called to ‘lighten the mood’ but hosts were already joking about cancer Brief awkward call where Dale told him they were already making cancer funny, then hung up quickly
  • Brandon [00:42:16] — Global warming – argued all seven planets are heating up at same rate Dale dismissed him when he revealed he’s a mosaic artist making $45-50k, though Dale did ask him to tweet sources about planetary warming claim

Quotes

Ted Cruz is campaigning for Donald Trump

Matt Bearden (Pop Cop) [00:03:44]

It’s the liberals trying to make it seem worse than it is to promote global warming

Dale Dudley [00:07:20]

You’re ruining it. The fun part was listening to small-town cops

Dale Dudley [00:22:32]

You couldn’t spot a customs agent who might find 500 Viagra in your suitcase

Dale Dudley [00:40:03]

Vote Donald Trump if you want to live

Alex Jones (audio) [00:59:09]

Part 3: Alex Jones fun and mad mom

The show continues with discussions about Alex Jones and Jim Bakker selling survival food, a Tennessee mom angry about Islam being taught in school, CJ scaring Carissa with a gorilla mask, and extensive talk about ACL Fest this weekend. Dale calls his wife Amanda live on air multiple times, they discuss his contract negotiations, and the show ends with ‘What Did You Learn This Week’ calls.

Segments

  • Alex Jones Survival Products [00:00:29] — Caller Parker points out Alex Jones sells survival food just like Pat Robertson. Dale confirms he’s been mocking this with his ‘powdered water’ Alex Jones impression for a long time.
  • Jim Bakker’s Hypocrisy [00:07:07] — Dale plays clips of Jim Bakker selling survival food buckets while simultaneously quoting scripture about ‘the love of money is the root of all evil.’ Dale is outraged at the hypocrisy.
  • Mad Tennessee Mom [00:10:20] — News story about a Tennessee mother angry her daughter learned about Islam in school. The daughter failed assignments by refusing to complete them about Islam due to Christian beliefs.
  • CJ Scares Carissa [00:14:20] — They watch video of CJ Morgan sneaking up on Carissa in a gorilla mask and scaring her. Bob questions if it’s real since she didn’t curse.
  • ACL Fest Dread and Planning [00:16:24] — Dale expresses his annual dread of ACL Fest despite loving the free passes. Discussion of parking, awkward industry conversations, and whether to attend tonight.
  • iPhone Tricks and Art Acevedo [00:18:35] — Dale discovers iOS 10 features like confetti when texting ‘congrats.’ He receives a statement from Police Chief Art Acevedo about the clown threats.
  • CJ’s 21 Worst People at ACL [00:19:57] — The hosts go through CJ Morgan’s blog post listing the 21 worst types of people at ACL Fest, including Giant Flag Jerry, Hot Cindy on Shoulders, and Benny the Baby Bringer.
  • Rudy’s Moist Brisket Delivery [00:28:01] — Mitch from Rudy’s delivers moist brisket to the studio. Discussion of how good Rudy’s has been lately.
  • Daniel’s Shaving Routine [00:32:00] — Extended discussion where Daniel reveals his elaborate back-shaving routine involving standing on saved packaging materials while fully clothed to avoid itchy hair.
  • Amanda Calls In [00:43:05] — Dale’s wife Amanda calls to give Daniel advice about using a blow dryer after shaving. This turns into extended marital banter about their relationship, ACL plans, and who makes dinner.
  • What Did You Learn This Week [00:56:52] — The show takes calls for the recurring ‘What Did You Learn This Week’ segment, where listeners share what they learned from the show.
  • Contract Negotiations Mention [00:59:38] — Dale mentions he has another contract negotiation meeting coming up that will determine if he continues at the station or not.

Recurring Bits

  • What Did You Learn This Week [00:56:52] — Call-in segment where listeners share what they learned from the show that week

Guests

  • Tracy (other) [01:03:30] — Audience of One member who sat in studio

Callers

  • Parker [00:00:29] — Pointing out Alex Jones sells survival products just like Pat Robertson Dale confirms he’s been mocking this for a long time
  • unnamed (Jethro) [00:00:06] — Attempted prank call with fake Texas accent Dale tells them not to do dumb accents and use fake names like Jethro
  • unnamed [00:57:10] — What did you learn – difference between computer and woman joke Dale says it was inappropriate and not what the segment was for
  • Matthew [00:59:29] — What did you learn – not to fix your own AC, then corrected to learning how to play the game Confusion about the segment rules, but recovered nicely
  • unnamed [01:00:20] — What did you learn – Bob beat Dale in the 70s music game Dale acknowledges Bob won this week
  • unnamed [01:01:37] — What did you learn – Dale is last person using Irish Spring Dale defends Irish Spring
  • unnamed [01:02:01] — What did you learn – two for one equals buy one get one free Quick acknowledgment
  • unnamed [01:02:13] — What did you learn – half off two is not the same as buy one get one Dale notes previous caller already said this
  • unnamed (secret admirer) [01:02:24] — What did you learn – Amanda drives an Audi and has girl handwriting Dale realizes this is the person who wrote Amanda the nice note
  • unnamed [01:02:38] — What did you learn – Daniel’s favorite color is clear Reference to earlier show moment
  • unnamed (regular) [01:02:49] — What did you learn – phone system hangs up on lines 11-12 when overloaded Dale thought about this person yesterday, caller is gracious about not winning prizes
  • unnamed [01:03:05] — What did you learn – defending Dale, still uses Irish Spring too Dale thanks him for the defense

Quotes

He literally just told his audience that he doesn’t believe in God.

Dale Dudley [00:08:40]

It’s not up to the school to raise your kid with your beliefs.

Dale Dudley [00:12:00]

Listening to the record is much better than hearing it live.

Dale Dudley [00:17:25]

I’m hoping for I’m working here. But I’m not going to work here for nothing.

Dale Dudley [01:00:09]

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