Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Tuesday, January 13, 2015
This Show
Part 1: Lakefront Property
The show opens with Dale and Bob discovering their financial advisor left the firm, leading to a discussion about retirement accounts, gas prices, and the stock market. The conversation spirals into Bob claiming he ‘toyed with the idea’ of commuting by paddleboat from Lago Vista to Austin, prompting the team to research lakefront property prices and laugh at the absurdity. Dale discusses his new house construction being paused due to his wife requesting changes.
Segments
- Show Opening and Financial Advisor Drama [00:00:03] — Dale discusses gas prices and discovers that their financial advisors left their firm. Bob reveals he’s being contacted by new advisors while Dale has heard nothing, leading to jokes about who has more money.
- Low Gas Prices and Texas Economy [00:14:03] — The hosts debate whether cheap gas is good or bad for Texas, with Matt warning about declining oil revenue affecting the state economy while Dale celebrates paying $1.63 at Costco.
- Dale’s House Construction Pause [00:20:00] — Dale reveals his new house construction was put on hold because his wife wanted to make changes, including removing rock work and changing to a Vent-a-Hood and silestone countertops.
- Bob’s Paddleboat Fantasy [00:27:03] — Bob mentions he ‘toyed with the idea of having a paddleboat’ to commute from Lago Vista to Austin, parking a second car on the other side of the lake. The team spends considerable time mocking this absurd plan.
- Lago Vista Real Estate Research [00:34:00] — Dale’s wife (a realtor) sends lakefront property listings in Lago Vista ranging from $150k to $650k. The team looks at photos and discusses whether Daniel and his fiancée should buy there.
Callers
- unnamed (Lago Vista) [00:38:56] — Living in Lago Vista and commute times to Austin Confirmed that the commute from Lago Vista is manageable, with the bottleneck being the Cedar Park area on 183. Also confirmed that lakefront property is expensive.
Quotes
I paid a dollar 63 yesterday for gas at Costco
Dale Dudley [00:01:34]
I toyed with the idea of having a paddleboat
Bob Fonseca [00:28:03]
When I lose my gig, I’ll have to go back to a hundred thousand dollar a year job
Dale Dudley [00:24:14]
Part 2: Highly Miserable People
The hosts discuss ’14 Habits of Highly Miserable People,’ a humorous article where they ring bells when each habit applies to them. Dale scores highest. They also cover the Texas pledge requiring ‘under God’ in schools, which Dale objects to as a parent. Animal stories include piranhas, frozen ducks, and a farting horse. A camel trampling death in Texas is discussed. Dale becomes ‘that parent’ when questioning his son’s school requirement to recite the Texas pledge with religious language.
Segments
- 14 Habits of Highly Miserable People [00:01:00] — The hosts go through a clickbait article about habits of miserable people, ringing bells when each habit applies to them. Dale and Bob score particularly high on being afraid of economic loss, sustained boredom, and picking fights.
- Animal Stories – Piranhas and Frozen Ducks [00:25:00] — Daniel describes fishing for piranhas in South America and reveals his family’s ducks froze in a pond and were eaten by dogs. Discussion about whether Texas lakes can freeze over and if it’s safe to ice skate on them.
- Farting Horse Video [00:34:00] — The hosts watch and react to a video of a horse repeatedly farting while being scratched by handlers, leading to discussion about why women love horses.
- Camel Attack in Wichita Falls [00:37:00] — News story about two people killed by a camel in rut at a Texas camel farm. The male camel was put down after the attack, which Dale criticizes.
- Austin Metro Rail Improvements [00:40:00] — Story about $50 million in improvements coming to Austin’s Metro Rail line, including four new trains and a proper downtown station. Dale complains about lack of public bathrooms at stations.
- Texas Pledge Controversy [00:46:00] — Dale discovers his son must recite the Texas pledge which was amended in 2007 to include ‘under God.’ He emails the teacher questioning if it’s mandatory, becoming ‘that parent.’ The teacher says it’s optional.
Callers
- unnamed [00:36:08] — Attempted prank call pretending to be drug dealer Dale recognized it as a prank, dumped the call. Possibly two people on the same call attempting a Sal and Richard style bit.
Quotes
Nobody even knows if there’s an afterlife, dad. And I went, high five.
Dale Dudley [00:39:48]
I don’t need to pledge to the state of Texas. I’m an American, dammit.
Dale Dudley [00:50:12]
If you have a secede sticker, you have no idea what we would need from our big brother to survive.
Dale Dudley [00:51:45]
Part 3: Puppy Love
The final part of the 2015-01-13 show focuses heavily on Dale’s facelift recovery and his column in Austin Monthly magazine. Aaron Quinn visits to promote the pet guide issue, and Dale discusses his recent column about putting down his elderly dog. The segment includes discussion of sarcasm research, a Texas representative’s Hitler tweet, Robert Crumb’s Charlie Hebdo commentary, and a bizarre viral video of a man testing a homemade lightsaber. There’s also mention of a disturbing news story about a homeless woman and a dog.
Segments
- Show Extension and Cold Studio [00:00:00] — Dale discusses how the show was extended to 9:31 with no additional compensation, while Bob jokes about wearing gloves due to the cold studio. Dale talks about being unable to get warm despite cranking the heat.
- Sarcasm and Intelligence Study [00:02:58] — Dale reads an article claiming sarcastic people are smarter because sarcasm exercises the brain more than sincere statements, leading to discussion about cognitive skills and mental gymnastics.
- Charlie Hebdo New Cover [00:09:01] — Discussion of Charlie Hebdo’s return with Muhammad on the cover holding an ‘I am Charlie’ sign, with ‘All is forgiven’ at the top. They debate whether Obama should have attended the unity march in Paris.
- Texas Rep Randy Weber’s Hitler Tweet [00:12:01] — Dale reads Texas Representative Randy Weber’s tweet comparing Obama unfavorably to Hitler regarding the Paris march, sparking discussion about political discourse and whether Dale should comment on his Facebook page.
- Austin City Council’s Don Zimmerman [00:16:04] — Dale discusses new Austin City Council member Zimmerman who wanted to ‘draw marbles’ to determine the ceremonial mayor pro-tem position and lost 9-1, expressing excitement to cover him.
- Robert Crumb Interview [00:19:51] — Discussion of Robert Crumb’s New York Observer interview about Charlie Hebdo and his ‘cowardly cartoonist’ drawing of Muhammad’s behind, which was actually his friend Muhammad Barkish’s behind.
- Aaron Quinn and Austin Monthly [00:24:25] — Editor Aaron Quinn arrives to promote the pet guide issue of Austin Monthly. Extensive discussion of Dale’s facelift, his column about putting down his dog Eddie, and the magazine’s content.
- No-Kill Ordinance Five-Year Anniversary [00:27:03] — Aaron discusses Austin’s no-kill ordinance hitting its five-year mark in March, with 94 percent of shelter animals coming back out alive, though return rates remain an issue.
- Dale’s Dog Eddie and End-of-Life Decisions [00:28:43] — Dale explains his Austin Monthly column about waiting too long to put down his nearly 18-year-old dog Eddie, admitting he let the dog’s condition deteriorate because he was afraid he couldn’t handle the decision emotionally.
- Dale’s Facelift Details [00:36:14] — Aaron interviews Dale extensively about his ‘max lift’ (minimally invasive facelift) three weeks prior, the recovery process, his painkiller issues, and how the procedure was done with incisions in the sideburns and behind the ears.
- Homeless Woman and Dog Story [00:43:59] — Dale briefly mentions a disturbing news story about a man who invited a homeless woman to stay in his home during the holidays and found her engaged sexually with his boxer dog.
- Homemade Lightsaber Video [00:46:12] — The show plays and comments on a viral video of a man named Thronk testing a homemade three-pronged lightsaber made of PVC pipe, recorded with airplane noise and no second takes, performing flips and tricks.
- All’s Well Show Announcement [00:51:12] — Matt announces the new All’s Well show at Cap City Comedy Club at 8pm, replacing the defunct Punch show, produced with Joe Hafke and Matt Blake.
Guests
- Aaron Quinn (other) [00:24:25] — Editor of Austin Monthly magazine promoting the pet guide issue and discussing Dale’s column
Quotes
They compensated us with the compensation we already had.
Dale Dudley [00:00:22]
Our media now has become Taylor Swift.
Dale Dudley [00:22:39]
I allowed some bodily functions to deteriorate that wasn’t fair to him.
Dale Dudley [00:30:01]