Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Friday, March 20, 2015
This Show
- The Worst of Dudley and Bob with Matt
- The Worst of Dudley and Bob with Matt
- The Worst of Dudley and Bob
Part 1: The Worst of Dudley and Bob with Matt
This Friday morning opening segment features Dale hosting an on-air staff meeting about punctuality after both Daniel and Carissa arrive late, leading to extended discussion about Carissa’s medical issues (digestive problems, bulimia recovery, and hypochondria). Dale also discusses his experience abstaining from alcohol, Bob’s past relationship with now-successful jewelry designer Kendra Scott, and various ticket giveaways. The tone shifts between staff management, medical talk, and typical morning banter.
Segments
- Show Open [00:00:02] — Standard show introduction and opening banter about the new time slot and Billy Idol.
- Austin Pets Alive Dog Shooting [00:01:25] — Brief discussion of a constable shooting a dog from Austin Pets Alive, with debate about whether police need better non-lethal options for dog situations.
- Staff Meeting: Tardiness [00:02:29] — Dale calls an on-air staff meeting about Daniel and Carissa both arriving late, with Carissa citing bathroom issues and Dale emphasizing the importance of punctuality.
- Carissa’s Medical Drama [00:12:34] — Extended discussion of Carissa’s digestive issues, stool samples, upcoming tests, and her history of bulimia. Dale expresses skepticism about whether there’s a real problem versus hypochondria.
- Dale’s Sister’s Cancer Story [00:29:14] — Dale shares his sister’s successful battle with non-Hodgkin’s T-cell lymphoma to provide perspective on real versus imagined medical issues.
- Kendra Scott Success Story [00:33:39] — Dale reads news article about jewelry designer Kendra Scott’s business expansion, noting she’s Bob’s ex-girlfriend who now has 37 stores and is signing a major lease.
- Keto Diet Philosophy [00:38:43] — Dale discusses the ketogenic diet, two metabolic engines in the body, and receives a supportive text from Dr. Hicks about food as medicine.
- Caller Josh: C-diff Diagnosis [00:40:53] — Caller Josh shares his own digestive issue story, revealing it was C-diff infection that cleared up with Flagyl antibiotic after a year of problems.
- Tom Petty/Sam Smith Clarification [00:42:21] — Dale reports on Tom Petty’s statement that he did not sue Sam Smith, just came to an easy agreement. Bob discusses musical motive and chord structure simplicity.
- Ticket Giveaway Tease [00:44:12] — Dale previews ticket giveaways for the show including Weird Al, O’Reilly Outlaws, and Mark Knopfler, briefly thinking management took his Knopfler tickets before finding them.
Callers
- Josh [00:40:53] — His own digestive issues that turned out to be C-diff infection Shared relevant medical information about Flagyl antibiotic treatment, contributing to the ongoing Carissa medical discussion
Text Line
- [00:38:01] Dr. Hicks texted a quote about food being more powerful medicine than pills — read by Dale Dudley Reinforced Dale’s keto diet philosophy and nutrition arguments
Quotes
It’s truly people with IQs around 60 that get elected in these small towns as long as they say Jesus.
Dale Dudley [00:09:14]
If you have a baby and it gets really ill and you start putting Facebook posts up, I’m going to call the cops on you.
Dale Dudley [00:16:04]
You are the craziest person I’ve ever met.
Dale Dudley [00:24:23]
What you put at the end of your fork is far more powerful than anything you find in the bottom of a pill bottle.
Dale Dudley [00:38:03]
Part 2: The Worst of Dudley and Bob with Matt
This part of the show features Daniel and Carissa’s prank calls to ‘swap shop’ radio shows across the country, mimicking a Howard Stern bit. The calls involve fake items and a running gag about a stolen dog. Dale also rants extensively about Muslim Day at the Texas Capitol, attacking protesters and State Rep Molly White for their anti-Muslim demonstrations. The segment concludes with listener Q&A about the show’s history and inside jokes.
Segments
- Show Opening – Plant Discussion [00:00:03] — Dale and Bob discuss milkweed, bull nettle, and other Texas plants from their childhoods. Dale mentions wanting to book Dr. Tony to discuss nutrition.
- Audience of One – John [00:03:17] — Dale notices John, a known intern, is today’s Audience of One member sitting in studio.
- Science News – Unboiling Eggs [00:04:41] — Dale discusses scientific breakthrough about unbinding proteins in eggs, potentially useful for cancer research.
- Austin Daycare Incident [00:05:00] — Dale plays news footage of two toddlers who escaped from Austin South Christian Academy daycare and were found wandering on Stassney Lane. Parents are understandably furious.
- Group Text Annoyance [00:11:00] — Dale complains about being included in a random group text from Daniel with people he doesn’t know, interrupting his Clash of Clans game.
- Daniel’s Swap Shop Prank Calls Introduction [00:14:04] — Dale reveals that Daniel made prank calls to swap shop radio shows, which resulted in an angry general manager calling the station. Management may be upset.
- The Swap Shop Calls Begin [00:16:28] — Daniel and Carissa’s prank calls to small-market radio swap shops begin playing. They offer ridiculous items and eventually create a running joke about a stolen dog.
- Justin’s Complaint About Carissa [00:17:00] — Caller Justin complains that Carissa is like ‘nine millimeter to the brain’ today and asks for less of her. The hosts pile on with her various recent stories.
- Old Daniel Prank Calls to Big Talker [00:32:40] — The show plays old prank calls Daniel made to ‘The Big Talker’ show when Sammy worked there, repeatedly calling with the radio still on in the background.
- Muslim Day at Capitol Rant [00:35:30] — Dale launches into an extended, passionate rant about anti-Muslim protesters at the Texas Capitol, particularly attacking State Rep Molly White for her Israeli flag stunt and requirement that Muslims declare allegiance.
- Video of Capitol Protesters [00:39:37] — Dale plays video of the woman who grabbed the microphone at the National Cathedral, then shows footage of protesters at the Texas Capitol including toothless Rick Ellis.
- Listener Q&A Segment [00:46:43] — Dale opens phone lines for listeners to ask questions they’ve always wondered about the show. Topics include P17s, the Focallis, Charlie Hodge’s departure, and old show bits.
- Explaining P17s [00:48:00] — Caller Neil asks what P16 and P17 mean. Dale explains the daypart ranking system in radio ratings.
- Charlie Hodge Question [00:51:20] — Caller asks what happened to Charlie. Dale explains he left to do his own show, moved on with his own ambitions. They haven’t stayed in touch.
- Mark Beardsley Callback [00:56:12] — Caller remembers when Bob (as Mark Beardsley) would call in from ‘California for a System of Change in Texas’ to advocate removing smoking and drinking from bars.
Recurring Bits
- The Sideshow [00:00:21] — Dale mentions something Bob said on yesterday’s Sideshow about milkweed
- Audience of One [00:03:17] — John is today’s Audience of One member, a known intern/listener
Guests
- Kurt Braunohler (comedian) [00:58:08] — Teased as coming up next, described as ‘an adventurer, sometimes a comedian’
Callers
- Justin [00:16:35] — Complained that Carissa is annoying today, asked for less of her The hosts mock him for being mean but also pile on Carissa with callbacks to her recent stories (HIV cancer, disabled bird, sleeping disease). Carissa gets offended.
- Neil [00:47:40] — Asked what P16 and P17 mean in radio terms Dale explains the daypart ranking system. Neil mentions he used to listen in Lubbock and has old cassettes of the show.
- Jonathan [00:49:45] — Asked about the noise Dale makes when he gets upset Dale explains he hits the board with his hands and used to break things but stopped.
- Brian [00:50:34] — Asked Bob about the meaning of ‘Focalli’ Bob explains it’s from his motorcycle days, means ‘where the f— are we’, a lost tribe name.
- Kurt [00:51:23] — 22-year-old listener asking if they’ll make another CD of bits Dale says no, too much work, and reveals the last CD’s charity money somehow went to the station’s general fund.
- George [00:52:29] — Asked Dale’s favorite Beach Boys song Dale actually answers seriously (Surfer Girl), Bob says God Only Knows.
- Joey [00:53:22] — Asked what a ‘Dixer’ is Dale dismisses it as his joke, doesn’t explain.
- Carlos [00:53:42] — Asked about the old man saying something on the show opening and the crying girl sound effect Dale explains the old man is Dave Howard doing old radio show parody, the girl is from a webcam video.
- Pat [00:54:48] — Asked what happened to Charlie Hodge Dale explains Charlie left to do his own show, had ambition. They haven’t stayed in touch, he’s doing podcasts now.
- Rob [00:56:06] — Remembered when Bob was prank caller Mark Beardsley Bob confirms he created the character ‘Mark Beardsley from California for a System of Change in Texas’ to get airtime.
- Mark [00:57:21] — Jokingly offered a charity that does teeth whitening for small African children Dale hangs up on him for not being serious.
- Mike [00:57:52] — Asked about old prank call involving a tracheotomy and cigarettes Dale says he’ll find it and edit it down to play on the show.
Quotes
Well, if they’d been hit by a car, at least they’d go to heaven. Job done.
Dale Dudley [00:05:47]
Carissa has HIV cancer and you don’t have any sympathy.
Bob Fonseca [00:17:21]
You’re a dumb cow who got elected. That’s what you are, Molly.
Dale Dudley [00:37:02]
You need to speak up for the boys molested by the Catholic church and Boy Scouts.
Dale Dudley [00:42:53]
Part 3: The Worst of Dudley and Bob
Dale and the crew spend the final part of the show with comedian Kurt Braunohler, discussing his Mississippi River jet ski journey for charity, his drinking stories including waking up nude in a hotel, and various tangents including homemade sex dolls, Texas town pronunciations, and local radio commercials from Pecos, Texas. The conversation covers everything from Florence Henderson’s sex life to Canadian strip club rules, culminating in plugs for Kurt’s shows at Cap City Comedy Club.
Segments
- Name Pronunciation Anxiety [00:00:00] — Dale discusses his nervousness about pronouncing guest names correctly, particularly struggling with Kurt Braunohler’s last name, which he keeps mispronouncing as ‘Braun’ or ‘Brown.’
- Kurt’s Jet Ski Adventure Details [00:02:15] — Kurt describes his seven-day journey down the Mississippi River on a jet ski in a tuxedo, raising money to send 500 goats and 1,000 chickens to Africa through Heifer International.
- Waking Up Nude Stories [00:05:56] — Kurt shares his story about drunkenly waking up nude on the wrong floor of a hotel. Dale relates to the ‘time traveler’s wife’ drinking experience, having once woken up in Seattle thinking he’d broken into someone’s house.
- Fleshlight Discussion [00:14:32] — Extended conversation about flashlights and sex toys, with Daniel revealing he used one once and threw it away, Dale admitting to 10-15 uses, and debate about proper cleaning.
- Homemade Sex Dolls [00:28:51] — The crew looks at disturbing photos of DIY sex dolls men have made, including elaborate skeleton-based creations with heating pads and latex casting, shocking everyone especially Daniel.
- Beer Depot and Pecos Radio [00:36:01] — They listen to hilariously lo-fi commercials from 98.9 XFM in Pecos, Texas, particularly fixating on the ‘Beer Depot’ ad with its cheesy echo effect.
- Man Bulldozes House [00:38:54] — Discussion of news story about James Ryan who bulldozed his own house while his wife was out shopping, was only charged with criminal mischief and $300 bail.
- Texas Name Pronunciations [00:43:42] — The crew tests Kurt on Texas town pronunciations: Pecos vs Pecos, Mexia, Bexar County, Bastrop, Manchaca, and Elgin.
- Kurt’s Personal Life [00:46:38] — Kurt reveals he met his wife at a Yo La Tengo concert where she was on a date with someone else. Discussion of redheads, Genghis Khan, and Daniel’s factoid about Asian descendants.
- Alcohol Laws and TABC [00:52:58] — Conversation about weird Texas alcohol laws, TABC enforcement, Canadian strip club rules about nudity and alcohol, and comedy club drink restrictions.
- Local vs National Radio [00:53:42] — Caller Brandon mentions Opie from Opie and Anthony saying he’d give up his New York gig to go back to local radio. Dale reflects on loving his job this week, attributing it partly to not drinking.
Guests
- Kurt Braunohler (comedian) [00:00:00] — Stand-up comedian and adventurer promoting his shows at Cap City Comedy Club, discussing his Mississippi River jet ski journey and various comedy stories throughout the segment
Callers
- Pat (or Paul) [00:43:30] — Called about working at a correctional facility where prisoners make ‘fifi dolls’ (sex toys) from toilet paper rolls Brief call, Dale asked if he knew Jimmy Roulette who also works at a prison
- unnamed (near Middletown (house bulldozing story area)) [00:45:15] — Commented on why the news station couldn’t reach the wife in the bulldozing story, joking she was at Beer Depot Quick joke about Beer Depot, ended quickly
- Brandon [00:53:42] — Asked if Dale heard Opie from Opie and Anthony talk about preferring local radio to national Led to Dale reflecting on loving his job this week and the ups and downs of local radio
Quotes
I rode from Chicago to New Orleans in a jet ski in a tuxedo to raise money
Kurt Braunohler [00:02:58]
Just grip my balls and hide – totally nude on the fifth floor
Kurt Braunohler [00:06:58]
No, I didn’t do nothing wrong. The house had to come down, that’s it
James Ryan (news audio) [00:40:58]
There are times when you walk out and no one’s talking to you and you feel – I just had to get out of here
Dale Dudley [00:54:18]