Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Thursday, May 14, 2015
This Show
Part 1: Blue Tape Dreams
Dale discusses his new house walk-through, obsessing over blue tape and various home improvement anxieties including whether he can install a door himself. The show takes a painful turn when a text reveals Deep Eddy Vodka is up for sale for up to $300 million – an investment Dale passed on years ago when offered a chance to buy in for $70,000. The crew also discusses possible plagiarism accusations against Guns N’ Roses’ ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’ and Dale’s perpetual bad luck with investment opportunities.
Segments
- Show open and sleep troubles [00:00:00] — Dale is exhausted from single-dad duty all week but still couldn’t sleep. The crew discusses his new glasses and fatigue.
- Blue tape dreams – new house walk-through [00:02:11] — Dale describes his exhausting walk-through of his new house, complete with appliance tutorials, air filter photography, and two ovens that spark a running argument about excess.
- The forbidden garage door [00:11:12] — Dale explains how the city inspector won’t allow his planned office-to-garage door because it’s ‘an easy way to kill somebody,’ sparking dark jokes about carbon monoxide suicide.
- Can Dale install a door? [00:13:01] — Extended debate about whether Dale has the manual skills to install the door himself, with Matt warning him it’s a day-long job for professionals and Dale admitting he has zero handyman skills.
- Lakeside Pizza political standoff [00:20:59] — Dale recounts how bartender Chip was terrified another old-man fight would break out when a Fox News devotee sat down near Dale, who joked about watching ‘fiction’ instead.
- Guns N’ Roses plagiarism case [00:28:25] — Discussion of Australian Crawl’s lawsuit claiming ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’ was stolen from their 1981 song ‘Unpublished Critics.’ The crew plays both songs and a mashup.
- Deep Eddy Vodka bombshell [00:33:05] — Chris Kane texts that Deep Eddy Vodka is up for sale for $165-300 million. Dale reveals he passed on a $70,000 first-round investment opportunity years ago, thinking flavored vodka was a fad.
- Fear and missed opportunities [00:38:45] — Dale and Matt commiserate about being ‘chicken asses’ who let fear prevent them from taking investment risks that would have changed their lives.
- 102-year-old blows out her teeth [00:41:48] — The crew watches a viral video of a 102-year-old woman blowing her dentures out while trying to blow out birthday candles.
- Dale’s dental work plans [00:43:03] — Dale discusses getting his 30-year-old crowns replaced at River Place Dental using a machine that makes porcelain crowns while you wait, imagining the horror of having them cut off.
Callers
- unnamed [00:19:29] — Suggesting Home Depot classes for Dale’s home improvement needs Dale acknowledges the tip but the crew doubts he’ll finish any class
- unnamed [00:39:39] — Reminding Dale to bet on the jockey not the horse, even if it tastes like sand Brief philosophical comment on Dale’s investment regrets
Text Line
- [00:33:05] Chris Kane sends multiple texts announcing Deep Eddy Vodka is up for sale for $165-300 million — read by Dale Dudley Triggers Dale’s meltdown over passing on the investment opportunity years ago, derailing the entire show and sparking extended discussion about fear and missed opportunities
Quotes
I saw blue tape in my dreams, little flecks of blue tape, blue carpenter tape.
Dale Dudley [00:02:19]
Cool. I was hoping for some fiction too.
Dale Dudley [00:22:08]
I said this flavored vodka is a fad. It’s going to go away.
Dale Dudley [00:36:10]
We are chicken asses.
Matt Bearden [00:39:11]
Part 2: Dead Cats and Dumb Women
The show discusses several controversial topics including students dancing with dead cats to the Meow Mix jingle, Ken Paxton’s evasive CNN interview about same-sex marriage, and a city-sponsored training session teaching employees how to communicate with the new female-majority Austin City Council. Dale rants about politicians, particularly Ken Paxton’s refusal to directly answer whether Texas would enforce a Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage. The segment also includes discussion of a mean prank on Cambodian TV and a viral incident where a reporter confronted men for saying vulgar things on live TV.
Segments
- Deep Eddie Investment Regret [00:00:01] — Dale laments missing the chance to invest in Deep Eddie vodka, which is now up for sale. The hosts joke about missed opportunities in life.
- Film Festival and Cruise Promo [00:00:42] — Dale promotes the upcoming film festival on the 24th (sold out but staff tickets may be released) and heavily pushes the Europe cruise, urging listeners to call Don and put down $500.
- Dead Cats Dancing Video [00:03:23] — Dale discusses a PETA video showing Oklahoma high school students dancing with dead cat corpses to the Meow Mix jingle during dissection class. The hosts watch and react with horror and dark humor.
- Patty Cake Cats Palate Cleanser [00:09:43] — Caller Kathy suggests watching the ‘patty cake cat’ video with French subtitles to cleanse their palate from the dead cat video. The hosts find it equally strange.
- PETA Kills Animals [00:12:15] — Dale points out that PETA itself euthanizes animals, directing listeners to petakillsanimals.com. Discussion of PETA protesting the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile years ago.
- Van, Texas Mayor Golf Controversy [00:13:21] — Discussion of Van, Texas mayor playing golf after a tornado. The hosts defend his right to take a break after 70+ hours of work, mocking the slow news day criticism.
- East Texas Geography Lesson [00:16:01] — Extended riff on East Texas towns and geography, including Van, Tyler, Longview, and other small towns. Daniel admits he’s never been to Dallas.
- City Council Women’s Leadership Training [00:20:23] — Dale discusses the controversy over Austin hiring a former Florida city manager to teach city employees how to talk to women, given the new female-majority council. The training suggested women don’t understand finances and ask too many questions.
- Sexist Training Reactions [00:27:00] — Audio clips of council members reacting with shock and anger. City Manager Marc Ott apologizes. Bob points out the irony of ‘mansplaining’ to a room full of women how to talk to women.
- Ken Paxton CNN Interview [00:33:44] — Extended discussion and playback of Attorney General Ken Paxton’s evasive CNN interview about same-sex marriage. Dale is furious at Paxton’s refusal to say whether Texas would follow a Supreme Court ruling.
- Lee Greenwood Sing-Along [00:42:06] — The hosts sing along to ‘Proud to be an American’ with altered, sarcastic lyrics mocking Texas’s anti-gay policies. Bob shares a story about seeing Lee Greenwood at Opryland.
- Reporter Confronts Vulgar Hecklers [00:47:15] — Discussion of viral video where female reporter confronts men who yelled vulgar phrase at her on live TV. One man was subsequently fired from his six-figure job.
- Cambodian TV Prank [00:54:27] — The hosts watch and react with horror to a Cambodian talent show that cruelly pranked a 12-year-old girl by pretending her mother (whom she’d never met) was backstage, then sending out a male comedian in drag instead.
Callers
- Kathy (regular) [00:09:51] — Suggested watching patty cake cat video to cleanse palate from dead cat video; corrected Dale’s pronunciation of PETA The hosts watched her suggested video and discussed it
- unnamed [00:52:20] — Called to complain about talking over Lee Greenwood Dale recognized it was a prank call and hung up quickly
Text Line
- [00:21:39] Someone trying to send dirt on State Senator Cecil Bell — read by Daniel Gallo Dale said they need to substantiate allegations before discussing them on air
- [00:23:00] Text alleging city employees were required to attend the sexist training session — read by Dale Dudley Added context to the controversy about the women’s leadership training
Music
- Lee Greenwood — Hosts sang along with altered, sarcastic lyrics to ‘Proud to be an American’
Quotes
You’re not special. You change.
Dale Dudley [00:24:55]
He’s a spineless, pandering, elected official. He’s not representing the people of Texas.
Dale Dudley [00:37:00]
At least have the balls to stand up and say I hate certain groups of people.
Bob Fonseca [00:42:13]
Part 3: Steve Rannazzisi
Steve Rannazzisi from ‘The League’ visits the studio to promote his Cap City Comedy Club shows. The conversation covers traffic rage, speeding tickets, road etiquette, fantasy football, TV shows including the final season of The League, and travel fears. Daniel Gallo’s reluctance to travel becomes a running joke, particularly his wife’s desire to visit exotic locations versus his preference for staying in America. The show ends with a nostalgic music segment featuring 70s soft rock.
Segments
- Texting Contest Technical Issues [00:00:03] — Dale discovers issues with the texting contest system, receiving conflicting messages about texter numbers.
- Pronouncing Steve’s Name [00:00:53] — The hosts debate how to properly pronounce Steve Rannazzisi’s last name, with Dale arguing over Z versus S sounds.
- Snail Mail and Nipple Hair [00:01:53] — Dale discusses receiving mysterious snail mail and recalls a listener who once sent him her plucked nipple hairs on a 3×5 card with ‘F.U.’ written on it.
- Austin Broadcasters Reunion Invitation [00:03:29] — Dale opens an invitation to the Austin Broadcasters Reunion honoring Henry Hank Williams, Don Pryor, Jim McNabb, and Dick Ellis.
- Steve’s Conan Appearance on Road Rage [00:04:11] — The hosts play and discuss Steve’s appearance on Conan O’Brien where he talked about his road rage issues, particularly at Laurel Canyon and Mulholland Drive.
- Road Rage Stories [00:06:38] — Extended conversation about traffic incidents, including Steve slowly cranking his middle finger, Matt getting out of his truck to confront a phone-using driver, and Jeff Garlin breaking a car window.
- License Plate Lookup Story [00:09:59] — Dale shares how his wife cut off a Mercedes and he looked up the license plate number, wanting to send a threatening letter but never did.
- I-35 to 183 Exchange Complaints [00:11:11] — Discussion of entitled drivers who skip the line at the notorious North I-35 to 183 exchange near 2222.
- Rocket Fantasy and Cop Lights Idea [00:11:43] — Steve proposes everyone gets two rockets per year to blow up bad drivers. Dale suggests civilian cop lights for left-lane violators only.
- Dale’s 75 in a 45 Ticket [00:12:24] — Dale recounts getting pulled over for doing 75 in a 45 on 2222, testing his new tires on his Ford SHO Taurus.
- Steve’s Two Tickets in 15 Minutes [00:13:18] — Steve tells about getting two speeding tickets in 15 minutes from different cops while driving home from college with a broken speedometer.
- Bicycle Cop Story [00:14:40] — Steve shares getting pulled over by a bicycle cop for an illegal right turn and mocking him relentlessly during the ticket writing.
- Getting Out of Tickets Strategies [00:15:28] — Discussion of various approaches to avoiding tickets, including Dale’s failed text to the police chief and a lawyer who loves defending traffic tickets.
- Fantasy Football Discussion [00:16:56] — Talk turns to fantasy football, Dale’s $250 league, keeper dilemma between Jamal Charles and Odell Beckham Jr., and The League doing one more season.
- TV Shows and The League’s Final Season [00:18:04] — Steve confirms The League will do one more (seventh) season. Discussion of what they watch, including Turn, Walking Dead debate, House of Cards, and Game of Thrones.
- Celebrity Pass and Robin Wright [00:19:47] — Dale asks Steve about the celebrity pass concept, praising Robin Wright from House of Cards as incredibly sexy.
- Name Changes in Showbiz [00:21:00] — Discussion about keeping ethnic names versus changing to showbiz names. Dale shares his nervousness saying his own name early in his career, captured on tape.
- Walking Dead Subway Meltdown [00:23:05] — Conversation about the Walking Dead actor (T-Dog) who had a meltdown on New York subway about Baltimore riots and humanity.
- Daniel’s Travel Fears Begin [00:24:15] — Dale expresses his dream of riding the New York subway with Daniel, who has numerous travel fears. Daniel’s phobias become a running topic.
- Daniel Won’t Pee on Planes [00:25:12] — Bob reveals Daniel flew from Chicago to Dublin without getting up to pee once, an eight-hour flight without bathroom use.
- Daniel’s Vietnam Fear [00:25:53] — Daniel explains he’s afraid to go to Vietnam because he’d stick out—everything’s shorter, doorways are smaller. His wife is Taiwanese and calls him a ‘big, dumb American.’
- Taiwan vs. Hawaii Honeymoon Debate [00:27:42] — Discussion of Daniel and his Canadian-Taiwanese wife’s honeymoon plans. He wants Hawaii, she wants Taiwan. He fears being stuck with interpreter parents in a country where no one speaks English.
- Budapest and Adult Travel [00:28:59] — Dale scolds Daniel about being an adult, sharing his solo Budapest trip and how adults adapt using gestures and finding English speakers.
- European Cruise and Buc-ee’s Hatred [00:30:00] — Mention of the European cruise Facebook page and Don’s payment plan. Daniel reveals his wife won’t stop at Buc-ee’s, hates sightseeing.
- Daniel’s Born in the 32nd Year [00:32:38] — Dale suggests Daniel was ‘born’ in the 32nd year of his life when he decided to marry his girlfriend, referencing the John Denver lyric explanation that follows.
- 70s Soft Rock Wormhole Begins [00:38:30] — The show enters a nostalgic music segment starting with Charlene’s ‘I’ve Never Been to Me,’ featuring its famous talking part about Paradise being a lie.
- Anne Murray ‘You Needed Me’ [00:43:57] — Transition to Anne Murray with Dale singing along, discussion of her tablecloth outfit and Canadian heritage.
- Olivia Newton-John Bisexual Announcement [00:45:06] — Dale recalls Entertainment Tonight announcing Olivia Newton-John was bisexual in 1980-81 and having to go to his bedroom immediately.
- Olivia Newton-John ‘Have You Never Been Mellow’ [00:46:04] — Playing Olivia Newton-John with Dale defending the song when Daniel calls it bad. Dale admits song parodies at 17 involved changing just one word.
- John Denver ‘Rocky Mountain High’ Explanation [00:47:00] — Extended discussion of what ‘born in the summer of his 27th year’ means—a spiritual awakening at age 26. Dale expresses his dream of living in Colorado.
- Caller Brandon on Jeb Bush Audio [00:50:00] — Caller suggests the hosts check out audio of Jeb Bush being told his brother created ISIS. Matt acknowledges it but can’t get to everything in prep.
- Funeral Home Coffee Stop Controversy [00:52:00] — Discussion of funeral home employees fired for stopping for coffee while transporting a veteran’s flag-draped casket. Hosts debate whether this warranted firing.
- Caller Grant on Charlene and Lubbock Musicians [00:54:52] — Grant asks about never hearing of Charlene despite being Dale’s age. Discussion turns to Lubbock, Texas musicians including Mac Davis, Joe Ely, Buddy Holly, and whether John Denver spent time at Texas Tech.
Guests
- Steve Rannazzisi (comedian) [00:00:53] — From FX’s ‘The League,’ promoting Cap City Comedy Club shows (tonight through Saturday). Discussed road rage, fantasy football, The League’s final season, travel, and TV preferences.
Callers
- Brandon [00:50:00] — Jeb Bush audio where college student said his brother created ISIS Matt acknowledged it but said they can only get to so much in prep, will maybe address tomorrow
- Grant [00:54:35] — Asked about never hearing of Charlene despite being Dale’s age, mentioned John Denver possibly being from Lubbock Led to discussion of Lubbock musicians and verification that John Denver attended Texas Tech
Music
- Charlene — Played ‘I’ve Never Been to Me’ (1979) featuring the famous talking part about Paradise. Dale explained it was an adult contemporary/country crossover hit, not top 40.
- Anne Murray — Played ‘You Needed Me’ with discussion of her Canadian PE teacher vibe and tablecloth outfit
- Olivia Newton-John — Played ‘Have You Never Been Mellow’ with Dale defending it against Daniel’s criticism
- John Denver — Played ‘Rocky Mountain High’ with extended discussion of lyric meaning and John Denver’s time at Texas Tech
- Glen Campbell — Mentioned/briefly played during the 70s soft rock segment
- Mac Davis — Discussed ‘Baby Don’t Get Hooked on Me’ while researching Lubbock musicians
Quotes
It’s pronounced Smith.
Steve Rannazzisi [00:00:58]
Some woman plucked her nipple hairs out angrily and sent them to me.
Dale Dudley [00:02:38]
Everybody should be given two rockets at the front of their car.
Steve Rannazzisi [00:11:43]
Did they give you special seats? I can get out of this ticket.
Steve Rannazzisi [00:15:15]
She tells me I’ll look like a big, dumb American.
Daniel Gallo [00:26:40]
You know what Paradise is? It’s a lie. That’s truth.
Recording [00:41:38]
Olivia Newton-John announced she’s bisexual and I had to go to my bedroom.
Dale Dudley [00:45:06]