Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Thursday, June 11, 2015
This Show
Part 1: Immutination
The show opens with Dale and Bob discovering errors in their talent fee sheets, leading to a discussion about checking payment records. The hosts discuss upcoming events and sponsors, including a hearing test from Estes Audiology. Dale talks about his new house and bathtub, mentions dying his hair for a commercial audition, and teases that he has obtained his 911 call from when his daughter went missing on Sunday. The show also covers Bass Pro Shops opening in Round Rock, discusses obesity and the food pyramid, debates Pizza Hut’s hot dog pizza crust, and ends with Carissa confusing the word ‘mutant’ with ‘mutiny’ while discussing Spider-Man.
Segments
- Talent Fee Sheet Problems [00:01:13] — Dale rants about monthly errors in talent fee sheets where he and Bob are paid for commercials the other did, or spots aren’t submitted properly. Bob keeps records; Dale estimates he’s lost tens of thousands over the years by not checking.
- Bob Takes Over Last Diet ATX [00:04:38] — Dale announces Bob is now the official spokesperson for Last Diet ATX, taking over from Dale who had been doing the spots previously.
- Matt and Carissa Health Issues [00:06:50] — Matt is sick with an undiagnosed illness; Carissa continues dealing with an infection and admits to self-medicating with various home remedies that shocked listeners yesterday.
- Email Communication Problems [00:10:44] — Dale gets frustrated that Carissa didn’t receive his forwarded emails about scheduling Drew Brees for Friday. He sent an all-caps email, then apologizes but insists she needs to fix her spam filter with IT.
- Dale’s New House and Greed Tub [00:15:05] — Dale celebrates that his new house payment is only $16.40 more than his old house despite being substantially bigger. He raves about his ‘greed and hubris tub,’ a freestanding Kohler bathtub large enough for him and his wife.
- Dale Dyes His Hair [00:16:51] — Dale reveals he dyed his hair for a commercial callback where the age range is 45-49 and he’s 53. He mentions the audition involved improv with ‘a dead man’ (the other actor was unresponsive).
- 911 Call Tease [00:17:32] — Dale teases that intern Connor obtained the 911 call from Sunday when his daughter went missing. He knows he’ll be humiliated because he told the operator he has a radio show, just like when he called a sports talk show drunk.
- Bass Pro Shops Opens in Round Rock [00:23:10] — Discussion of Bass Pro Shops opening near IKEA and the outlet stores in Round Rock. They compare it to Cabela’s and talk about the grand opening with celebrities, music, and prizes.
- Lemonade Stand Shutdown [00:24:27] — Brief mention of Overton, Texas police shutting down a little girl’s lemonade stand because she didn’t have a permit. Dale comments on the obesity visible in the neighborhood footage.
- Obesity and the Food Pyramid Rant [00:24:38] — Dale rants about how Americans weren’t as obese when he was young, blaming the food pyramid’s emphasis on grains and carbohydrates. Bob agrees that cutting carbs makes the body run cleaner.
- Pizza Hut Hot Dog Crust [00:32:21] — Discussion of Pizza Hut bringing the hot dog stuffed crust pizza to the U.S. on June 18th for $11.99, including French’s mustard. They brainstorm other pizza combinations like a ‘pizza tire.’
- Snake Bite First Aid [00:39:25] — Dale discusses old-school snake bite kits with razor blades and suction cups, and a Sacramento mother who sucked venom from her son’s snake bite while nine months pregnant. Modern doctors advise against this method.
- Mutiny vs Mutant [00:43:23] — Carissa tries to say Spider-Man is a ‘mutant’ but says ‘mutiny’ instead, then blames her lack of knowledge on not being an X-Men fan and incorrectly grouping Spider-Man with the X-Men. The hosts tease her mercilessly.
Guests
- Estes Audiology (expert) [00:09:50] — Scheduled to come in and test the hosts’ hearing, mentioned as upcoming segment
Quotes
No fighting in bed? No, we don’t look at the talent sheets until the end of the show.
Dale Dudley [00:01:13]
I had to do improv with a dead man. The other actor was dead.
Dale Dudley [00:17:05]
I don’t want to catch no Isis off no damn pizza.
Matt Bearden [00:21:23]
People weren’t that fat when I was a kid. They just weren’t.
Dale Dudley [00:24:38]
I’m not a huge X-Men fan. (about Spider-Man being a mutant)
Carissa Jade [00:43:47]
Part 2: 911
Dale plays the 911 call he made when his daughter Allie hid in the house and he thought she’d been abducted, prompting both mockery and genuine emotion from the cast. The segment includes extended discussion of Dale’s panic, the police response, and Daniel’s song parody. Also covered: hearing tests from Estes Audiology for Dale and Bob’s ongoing argument about audio equipment, UT basketball academic scandal allegations, Austin’s bag ban creating new landfill problems, and a woman complaining about gendered toy aisles at Target.
Segments
- Film Festival and Cruise Promotion [00:00:00] — Dale promotes the upcoming film festival on June 24th (sold out), the free podcast at Highball afterward, and the cruise booking deadline.
- Estes Audiology Arrives [00:00:50] — Paige and Kelly from Estes Audiology arrive to test the hosts’ hearing, immediately sparking Dale and Bob’s ongoing argument about audio equipment quality.
- Audiophile Debate Begins [00:02:11] — Bob defends his expensive audio equipment purchases while Dale insists his hearing loss makes high-end gear pointless. The audiologists explain frequency loss and hearing damage.
- UT Basketball Academic Scandal [00:09:16] — Discussion of Chronicle of Higher Education report questioning academic integrity of UT men’s basketball program, including possible exam cheating and suspicious academic improvements.
- Bag Ban Backfiring [00:14:00] — City report shows Austin’s plastic bag ban led to increased reusable bags in landfills that take longer to decompose, frustrating Dale who already hates the inconvenience.
- The 911 Call Setup [00:22:01] — Dale sets up the story of Sunday when his daughter Allie went missing in their new house, explaining his panic and decision to call 911.
- Playing the 911 Call [00:29:19] — The actual 911 call plays, revealing Dale’s escalating panic, his mention of working on the toilet, saying he does a morning show at KLBJ, and describing Allie as ‘white white white.’
- Dale Gets Emotional [00:34:00] — Dale chokes up hearing the dispatcher’s radio call describing his daughter. The hosts pause their mockery momentarily to acknowledge the genuine fear.
- Daniel’s Song Parody [00:41:10] — Daniel plays a Doors parody using Dale yelling ‘Allie!’ from the 911 call, set to ‘Light My Fire.’
- Caller Mike Relates [00:44:23] — A caller shares his similar experience losing his granddaughter for 45 minutes in Lakeway, expressing compassion for Dale and appreciation for police.
- Hearing Tests Begin [00:47:01] — Matt goes first for his hearing test while Dale and Bob prepare to see who has better hearing despite their audio equipment argument.
- Target Toy Aisle Outrage [00:50:32] — Dale rants about a woman upset that Target has separate ‘girls building sets’ signage, arguing this represents lazy outrage culture and terminal offense-taking.
Guests
- Kelly (expert) [00:00:50] — Audiologist from Estes Audiology conducting hearing tests
- Paige (expert) [00:00:50] — Audiologist from Estes Audiology conducting hearing tests
Callers
- Mike (Lakeway area (implied)) [00:44:23] — Shared his similar experience of losing his granddaughter for 45 minutes, she had hidden and fallen asleep Expressed compassion for Dale and appreciation for police response, led to discussion about how parents understand this fear
Text Line
- [00:48:10] Text from Alfred at Ashton Woods (Dale’s home builder) saying the 911 call was hilarious but also feeling bad for Dale — read by Dale Dudley Dale reassured him and mentioned enjoying the new house now that he knows the payment is only $16 more
Quotes
I hope you girls are happy for causing Bob and I to have the biggest fight we’ve had so far this year
Dale Dudley [00:01:01]
My daughter, she’s in pink and gray pajamas. I can’t find her anywhere
Dale Dudley [00:15:28]
Dale Dudley. I do morning show at KLBJFM
Dale Dudley [00:27:34]
White. White white
Dale Dudley (on 911) [00:32:04]
We’re a country who bombs people from the sky at random and we worry about words
Dale Dudley [00:51:24]
Part 3: Shh! That’s Racist!
The segment begins with Dale, Bob, and Matt returning from hearing tests conducted by Estes Audiology. The hosts discuss their results — Matt has perfect hearing, Bob has the worst hearing (significant high-frequency loss in both ears), and Dale has damage in his left ear. The conversation then shifts to Jerry Seinfeld’s comments about political correctness on college campuses, sparking a passionate debate about outrage culture, offensive comedy, and social media callouts. Dale delivers an extended rant against what he sees as oversensitive young people policing language, while Bob tries to add nuance to the discussion.
Segments
- Hearing Test Results Revealed [00:00:02] — The hosts return from their hearing tests. The audiologist reveals Matt has perfect hearing, Bob has the worst hearing with significant high-frequency loss in both ears, and Dale has damage in his left ear. Discussion of hearing aid technology and preventative measures follows.
- Q-tip Confession [00:03:40] — Matt reveals his love of cleaning his ears with Q-tips, calling it ‘basically a mini orgasm.’ The hosts discuss the pleasures and dangers of ear cleaning.
- Dire Straits Sound Test [00:06:00] — Matt describes his audiophile test for car stereos using a specific moment in Dire Straits’ ‘Private Investigations’ where a bottle breaks on a sidewalk. Daniel plays the track to see if the studio equipment can pick it up.
- Hearing Test Rankings [00:14:06] — The audiologist officially ranks the hosts: Matt has the best hearing (completely normal), Bob has the worst (may need hearing aids within a couple years), and Dale falls in between with left ear damage.
- Jerry Seinfeld and PC Culture [00:24:25] — The hosts dive into Jerry Seinfeld’s comments about not performing on college campuses due to overly sensitive audiences. This launches a major discussion about political correctness, comedy, and generational differences.
- Dale’s Rant Against Outrage Culture [00:33:00] — Dale delivers a passionate rant against what he sees as entitled, self-righteous college students who police language and comedy. He compares outrage culture to communism and defends comedians’ right to offend.
- Carissa’s Internet Depression [00:44:04] — Carissa shares how reading awful comments on a Facebook group about a fired zoo employee made her deeply depressed about humanity. The hosts discuss online toxicity and anonymous cruelty.
- New Station Truck [00:56:00] — Chuy announces the show’s name is on a brand new KLBJ truck. The hosts joke about how easily they could be replaced by swapping out a tailgate.
Guests
- Estes Audiology representatives (including Paige) (expert) [00:00:02] — Conducted hearing tests on the hosts and provided results and recommendations. From Estes Audiology, a local Austin company that works with the Health Alliance for Austin Musicians.
Callers
- Mike [00:39:33] — Called to agree with Dale about people being too soft and too politically correct compared to the Don Rickles/Joan Rivers era Dale used the call to validate his position and had a ‘breakthrough’ realization about his father’s parenting advice
- Jeff [00:52:03] — Discussed how young people fresh out of college assume debates are ‘over’ on issues like global warming and won’t tolerate opposing views Matt immediately challenged his use of climate change as an example, demonstrating the very dynamic Jeff was describing, which became a meta-moment on the show
Music
- Dire Straits — The song ‘Private Investigations’ was played to test if listeners could hear a very faint bottle-breaking sound at a specific timestamp, used as an audiophile sound test
Quotes
I get two Q-tips and go both sides at the same time. It’s basically a mini orgasm for me.
Matt Bearden [00:04:00]
You have confirmed all of my friends belief that I am an asshole.
Matt Bearden [00:14:20]
This is not the way I expected this to go.
Dale Dudley [00:17:01]
You know nothing when you’re in college. Nothing. You’re a clean slate.
Dale Dudley [00:34:00]
A 22 year old can bite my mostly white ass.
Dale Dudley [00:36:00]
My fantasy is that every time somebody offended on the Internet hits send, a virus immediately kills them.
Dale Dudley [00:43:00]