Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Tuesday, August 25, 2015
This Show
Part 1: I Don’t Want to be This Girl
The show opens with Dale well-rested after going to bed at 7pm, then devolves into recurring stories about Bob dating a woman Dale had a crush on (Kendra Baumgardner, not Kendra Scott). Fast food talk includes Fletcher’s veggie corndogs at the State Fair and Whataburger testing delivery. Dale discusses his defective Keurig clock and shares a small-market newscast story about a reporter in Corpus Christi who does ‘People Behaving Badly’ segments but himself had a domestic violence arrest. The segment ends with Dale reading tweets from a woman live-tweeting a breakup happening on her flight, with Carissa reading the girlfriend’s desperate lines.
Segments
- Show open and Dale’s 7pm bedtime [00:00:00] — Dale announces he went to bed at 7pm after saying ‘F it’ to the day. Discussion of his nine hours of sleep and honey whiskey.
- Pork tenderloin dinner night [00:01:19] — Dale and Matt both made pork tenderloin for dinner. Discussion of sides and Dale’s defective Keurig machine that gains 15 minutes in two days.
- Kendra Scott vs Kendra Baumgardner story [00:12:00] — Dale clarifies the difference between jewelry designer Kendra Scott and Kendra Baumgardner, the woman Bob dated while Dale was pursuing her. The old feud is rehashed.
- Fast Food Fanatic: Fletcher’s veggie corndog [00:18:43] — Dale announces Fletcher’s is selling veggie corndogs at the State Fair. Matt admits he’s had one and it was good, to his shame.
- Whataburger delivery testing [00:24:53] — Discussion of Whataburger testing delivery service in Dallas and the problems with transporting fast food.
- Small market newscast: John Rupolo arrest [00:28:20] — Dale discusses a Corpus Christi reporter who does ‘People Behaving Badly’ segments but was himself arrested for violating a domestic violence order.
- CJ’s party incident revealed [00:32:58] — Staff reveals details about someone getting drunk at CJ Morgan’s housewarming party and inappropriate behavior, leading to termination.
- Live-tweeted airplane breakup [00:38:00] — Dale shares story of Kelly Keggs live-tweeting a couple’s breakup on a plane. Carissa dramatically reads the girlfriend’s desperate lines.
- Sideshow ticket update [00:43:00] — Dale announces only 50 tickets remain for the September 3rd live Sideshow podcast.
Recurring Bits
- Fast Food Fanatic [00:18:43] — Fletcher’s veggie corndog controversy and Whataburger delivery discussion
- The Sideshow [00:43:00] — Mention of live podcast September 3rd at Cap City Comedy Club with only 50 tickets left
Quotes
I made family dinner and said eff it, I’m going to bed at seven
Dale Dudley [00:01:25]
I went to Anne Frank’s house high
Dale Dudley [00:20:05]
Folks, Fletcher’s is going to ruin the state fair with their veggie corndog
Dale Dudley [00:21:54]
I hate to admit it, this is the best corndog I’ve ever had
Matt Bearden [00:24:54]
I don’t wanna be this girl
Carissa Jade [00:41:35]
Part 2: Aunt Cleo
The show features extended discussion of Dale’s character ‘Aunt Cleo’ and her sister characters, with Dale and Matt performing old-lady voices and routines reminiscent of their Texas childhood. They promote the upcoming Cap City Comedy Club live sideshow and a fundraiser for the Austin Children’s Museum (the Thinkery). The main segment involves listener calls about ‘parent hacks’ – unpleasant or inappropriate tasks parents made their children do, ranging from grooming assistance to delivering drugs.
Segments
- Cap City Comedy Club Sideshow Promo [00:00:00] — Dale promotes the Fall into Fall live sideshow at Cap City Comedy Club for September 25th, discussing ticket sales and availability.
- Fire Ant Story and Pimple Popping Urges [00:01:00] — Dale discusses his daughter getting fire ant bites and his strong desire to pop the pustules, questioning whether this urge is nurture or nature.
- Life Hacks vs Parent Hacks Discussion [00:05:00] — The show debates doing life hacks versus parent hacks – things parents made their children do that were unpleasant or inappropriate.
- Classic Grandma and Ginger [00:07:00] — Dale plays audio clips of two elderly sisters bickering, reminding him and Matt of old ladies from their Texas childhoods.
- Aunt Cleo Character and Family Memories [00:15:00] — Dale and the cast perform the ‘Aunt Cleo’ character – an elderly aunt with various ailments who smokes constantly. Dale shares memories of his family gatherings with elderly relatives.
- Thinkery Fundraiser Request [00:21:00] — Dale requests help getting a guitar for the Austin Children’s Museum (Thinkery) fundraiser he and Matt are hosting on September 25th with Bob Schneider performing.
- ODU Fraternity Banner Controversy [00:27:00] — Discussion of Old Dominion University fraternity banners with sexual messages on move-in day that got students suspended.
- Parent Hacks Phone Calls Begin [00:30:00] — Listeners begin calling in with stories of inappropriate tasks their parents made them do as children, including clipping toenails, plucking neck hairs, and more.
- Buying Cigarettes and Alcohol [00:37:00] — Multiple callers share stories of being sent to buy cigarettes, beer, and other items for parents as young children.
- More Extreme Parent Hacks [00:44:00] — Callers share increasingly disturbing stories including being used as lookouts at bars, breathing into breathalyzers, and delivering drugs.
- Phone Screening Bit [00:50:00] — The hosts do a bit where they pretend to screen a caller multiple times, instructing them to say ‘love you, love the show’ twice.
- Drug Mule Story Ends Segment [00:54:00] — Final caller Trisha shares that she was used as a marijuana mule in Houston as a child, walking drugs between dealers.
Callers
- Shelby [00:31:03] — Had to pluck grandmother’s neck hairs Led to discussion about what people call their grandparents, which Bob finds ridiculous
- David [00:32:43] — Had to pour beer for dad and pour it correctly Dale joked this led to David’s rehab
- Jennifer [00:33:57] — Dad made her take off his boots; she uses kids to unload dishwasher Became part of the ongoing discussion
- Tiffany [00:36:05] — Had to taste urine for friend’s parents’ drug test Won Billy Idol tickets for most disturbing story so far
- Rocky [00:36:49] — Had to buy Marlboro Reds at age 6 Reminded hosts of how common this was
- Bobby [00:37:11] — Had to buy tampons, played football with the box on way home Got a laugh from the hosts
- Trenton [00:37:32] — Used as magnet to pick up nails in yard for a penny each Added to the collection of stories
- Alan (Temple) [00:39:09] — Had to cut switch from plum tree for dad to whip him with Led to Dale discussing Adrian Peterson controversy
- Donovan (Venezuela) [00:40:14] — At age 6, had to pick up beer and cigarettes and ride home on bike Another example of the common theme
- Megan [00:40:36] — Had to shave mother’s back due to hormone issues Dale asked if she inherited the condition, making it awkward
- Angie [00:41:11] — Had to take off dad’s work boots Thought it was required until got older
- Leslie [00:42:17] — Woken up at 2am to dance at adult parties Dale joked about Saddam Hussein
- Mac [00:43:43] — Made instant Folgers coffee and lit cigarettes before mom would get out of bed Bob was distracted texting Dale’s wife during this call
- Jason [00:44:49] — Had to stand lookout outside bar for mom while dad was inside Would run in to warn dad when mom was coming, got Reese’s Pieces as payment
- Dave [00:45:41] — At ages 4 and 6, he and brother were used to relay arguments between parents Parents stayed together despite fighting
- Brady (Texas) [00:47:15] — Had to hunt rattlesnakes with stick for pelts to turn in for money Caller got angry at Carissa, said he hated her voice
- Drew [00:48:51] — Had to blow into breathalyzer for dad before school so he could get to work Defended Carissa’s voice as sexy, then made date joke
- Steven [00:49:46] — Parents made him enter data on cards Bad connection, sounded like fax machine or robot
- Rod [00:50:31] — Called to say four brothers listen to show Got screened multiple times in a bit, never got to his story
- Matt [00:51:21] — Had to do ‘restroom duty’ for grandmother who had polio Hosts made duty/doody joke
- Crystal [00:52:52] — 30 years old, listened whole life with mom; had to drive mom when she was too stoned Made hosts feel old; Dale asked if she smoked with mom
- Pete [00:53:38] — Had to wrestle cousin for entertainment while dad and uncle drank and watched Went on too long, hosts did screening bit on him
- Trisha (Houston (Jones and 290 area)) [00:54:45] — Was a marijuana drug mule as a child, walking it between dealers Most extreme story; Matt asked about her Houston neighborhood details
Text Line
- [00:27:01] Listener said they had to scratch their dad’s crusty feet — read by Dale Dudley Became part of the parent hacks topic setup
- [00:41:53] Dale’s sister texted to correct detail about great-aunt Leo’s death (not brain hemorrhage) — read by Dale Dudley Dale predicted this would happen during the Aunt Cleo bit
Music
- Anne Murray — Snowbird played after Matt mentioned snowbirds (winter Texans)
Quotes
You look over and see yourself and wonder why your wife lassoed a slug
Dale Dudley [00:02:27]
Dale’s mama had cancer and everything, thank Jesus she lived and everything
Dale Dudley (as Aunt Cleo) [00:09:42]
We love sickness in our family
Dale Dudley [00:18:47]
I gave a fish stick to Mrs. Paul
Dale Dudley [00:24:03]
Part 3: People of the Neighborhood
Part 3 features the ‘People of the Neighborhood’ segment with Peter Lee, CEO and inventor of Atlas Wearables, demonstrating his fitness-tracking wristband that automatically recognizes exercises. Dale discusses his experience narrating the audiobook ‘Dr. Zim’s Elixir’ and receives an apology letter from the author. The hosts debate the Ashley Madison hacking scandal and multiple suicides linked to it, discuss Blue Bell ice cream’s return after the listeria outbreak, and watch footage of a truck hitting a low bridge. The show devolves into comedic chaos over pronunciation of ‘philosophize.’
Segments
- Show opening and Uber talk [00:00:03] — Dale discusses receiving countdown emails from Uber threatening to deactivate him if he doesn’t accept rides. Brief discussion of Uber’s luxury car service.
- Pat Robertson blames stock market crash on Planned Parenthood [00:01:51] — Dale plays audio of Pat Robertson claiming God will punish America for abortion and Planned Parenthood funding, linking it to financial troubles. Dale argues against this reasoning.
- People of the Neighborhood: Peter Lee and Atlas Wearables [00:06:43] — Interview with Peter Lee, 25-year-old CEO of Atlas Wearables, demonstrating his fitness wristband that automatically recognizes exercises. Dale tries jumping jacks and push-ups while wearing it. The device has raised $2.6 million in funding.
- Jeb Bush anchor babies comment [00:19:05] — Discussion of Jeb Bush trying to clarify his ‘anchor babies’ comment by saying it was about Asians, not Latinos, making the situation worse.
- Ashley Madison suicides and hacker debate [00:21:22] — Dale reports two suicides linked to the Ashley Madison hack, including a San Antonio police captain. Discussion of whether hackers should play moral arbiter and the $500,000 reward offered.
- Dr. Zim’s Elixir letter [00:29:48] — Dale reads an apology letter from author Michael Lee about their audiobook not being successful. Dale shares outtakes and emotional moments from recording the book, discusses how difficult the narration was.
- Blue Bell ice cream return [00:41:00] — Discussion of Blue Bell announcing their return to stores after the listeria outbreak, debating whether they need to rebrand.
- Truck hits low bridge [00:43:35] — The hosts watch and comment on video of a food delivery truck hitting a low bridge in Massachusetts, completely shredding the top of the truck.
- Pooductive app [00:47:09] — Dale describes ‘Pooductive,’ an app that connects people using the bathroom at the same time for chat sessions.
- Philosophize pronunciation bit [00:48:52] — Extended comedy bit where Bob trolls Carissa about her pronunciation of ‘philosophize,’ making her repeat it multiple times while pretending she’s saying it wrong.
Recurring Bits
- People of the Neighborhood [00:06:43] — Interview with local entrepreneur Peter Lee demonstrating Atlas Wearables fitness tracker
Guests
- Peter Lee (entrepreneur) [00:06:43] — 25-year-old CEO and inventor of Atlas Wearables, a fitness tracking wristband. Company has raised $2.6 million, product retails for $249
Callers
- Michael [00:49:18] — Suggested better signage for the low bridge video, joked about the poop app being called ‘Crap Room’ Brief call with rapid-fire jokes, Dale thanked him quickly
Quotes
Could you imagine this country with 50 million unwanted children?
Dale Dudley [00:04:57]
I’m starting to realize that this is a very immature job and I’m an old man.
Dale Dudley [00:17:03]
Who made the hackers God?
Dale Dudley [00:22:03]
I want to live, Frankie. I want to live fully. Why am I crying?
Dale Dudley (recorded) [00:34:20]