Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Tuesday, December 6, 2016
This Show
Part 1: Breakdown
Dale rants about Office Depot not having the right size notebooks for the show, leading to a running gag about his irritation at buying teenage girls’ notebooks with balloons and hearts. The conversation spirals through various topics including email organization, t-shirt sizes (with Daniel trying on different sizes on air), Bob wearing a scarf in 48-degree weather, and Carissa having a complete emotional breakdown. Carissa reveals she’s having the hardest week of her life – her car broke down on I-35 with a blown tire, Triple A never showed up, and an APD officer (Officer Ledford) changed her tire. The show wraps with Animal Cavalcade featuring a wombat, a dog covering up holes, and the viral kangaroo-punching video.
Segments
- Show open and station gossip [00:00:17] — Matt opens the show. Dale is upset about internal station gossip he wasn’t aware of, claiming he could have gotten himself in trouble not knowing about personnel changes.
- Office Depot notebook saga [00:02:25] — Dale launches into a long story about spending 45 minutes at Office Depot/Office Max trying to find the specific size notebook he needs for the show, settling for teenage girls’ notebooks with balloons and hearts.
- Email organization debate [00:09:05] — Discussion about email management systems. Bob subscribes to ‘Inbox Zero’ while Dale admits to hoarding spam emails in folders he never checks.
- T-shirt sizes and Daniel’s body image [00:15:00] — Debate about whether Daniel wears large or XL t-shirts. Daniel is made to try on different sizes on air while Dale warns him about future weight gain from fast food.
- Bob’s scarf mockery [00:22:00] — Dale makes fun of Bob for wearing a scarf/muffler in 48-degree weather, comparing him to an alligator with short arms.
- Carissa’s breakdown [00:24:29] — Carissa reveals she had a complete emotional breakdown yesterday and is having the hardest week of her life, juggling multiple projects and events.
- Car breakdown on I-35 [00:25:04] — Carissa describes her tire blowing out on an I-35 overpass in the rain. Triple A never showed up despite it being elevated to high priority. APD Officer Ledford changed her tire.
- Bob’s Hairspray Live party invitation [00:29:48] — Bob invites Carissa to watch Hairspray Live at his house with a 120-inch screen and themed food, but Carissa is too overwhelmed to commit.
- Animal Cavalcade [00:32:40] — The crew watches videos of a wombat that thinks it’s a dog, a dog covering up holes it dug, and the viral video of a man punching a kangaroo that had his dog in a headlock.
Recurring Bits
- Animal Cavalcade [00:32:40] — Featured wombat, dog covering holes, and kangaroo-punching video
Text Line
- [00:36:06] Listener complained that Carissa says ‘like’ too much during the sideshow and it’s literally killing them — read by Dale Dudley Sent Carissa into a further spiral of stress, causing her to wish death on the person (which she immediately regretted)
Music
- Stevie Nicks — Dale mentions Stevie Nicks with the Pretenders coming to the Erwin Center, complains about the billing order
- The Pretenders — Dale argues the Pretenders should be headlining over Stevie Nicks
- Dave Matthews Band — Reference to ‘Ants Marching’ played over 10-hour ant video
Quotes
I could have got myself in a lot of trouble in that situation.
Dale Dudley [00:03:02]
I had to buy four, three teenage girls’ notebooks.
Dale Dudley [00:08:47]
I had the biggest breakdown of my life yesterday and I officially don’t have feelings anymore.
Carissa Jade [00:24:52]
Stevie Nicks should be opening at 3 o’clock in the afternoon for the Pretenders.
Dale Dudley [00:31:57]
I hope that person dies. Please bother her about this.
Carissa Jade [00:36:52]
Part 2: Part 2
The show discusses sound effects origins, shares video montages, and engages in extended banter about Carissa’s misunderstanding of how umbilical cords work. Dale also reveals Amanda planned a Christmas party without his permission. The segment includes Video Schmideos (Nerf gun pranks, Australian hit-and-run interview, drunk dancing accident) and ends with Dale playing emotional songs to make Carissa cry while she misses her dog Stevie.
Segments
- Pop Cop Absence and Sound Effects Video [00:00:11] — Dale announces Pop Cop is still sick. CJ created a video montage of the show’s sound effects with their video sources, now available at klbjfm.com.
- Home Studio Setup with Red Light [00:06:12] — Dale discusses building a home studio for remote broadcasts. Amanda bought him a red light for the door, which Dale immediately jokes about using when pleasuring himself instead of just for on-air time.
- Love Languages Discussion [00:11:17] — Bob shares results from his therapy love language quiz. His top language is words of affirmation, touch was last. The cast plans to all take the quiz on air.
- Sideshow Issues and Listener Emails [00:12:48] — Carissa is overwhelmed with emails about the sideshow. Dale tells listeners to stop emailing and be patient while they work out technical issues and change providers.
- Video Schmideos Begins [00:14:30] — Dale presents two weeks of saved videos including: wife being pranked with Nerf gun repeatedly, British kid ‘teleporting’ to front yard, Japanese ice skating rink with 5,000 dead fish frozen in ice.
- Australian Hit-and-Run Hero [00:21:10] — Video of Daniel from Brisbane who chased a hit-and-run driver in his underwear after the driver crashed into his mate’s mum’s fish and chip shop.
- More Videos: Scared Toddler and Sewer Dancer [00:24:00] — Videos of toddler terrified by toy hamster and woman drunk dancing in South America who falls face-first into an open sewer.
- Woman Tases Her Vajayjay [00:26:44] — Australian woman strips to her panties and tases herself in front of multiple guys as payback after daring them to tase themselves.
- Baby in a Bag Video [00:27:43] — Video of cesarean section where entire amniotic sac is removed intact with baby still inside, leading to extended biology discussion.
- Carissa’s Umbilical Cord Confusion [00:29:00] — Carissa reveals she thought umbilical cords connected from the back of mom’s belly button to baby’s belly button like an air hose. Extended segment of the cast incredulously questioning her understanding of reproduction and biology.
- Amanda’s Unauthorized Christmas Party [00:37:00] — Dale’s wife Amanda calls in, revealing she booked a Christmas party at their house without Dale’s permission. Dale protests on air that he doesn’t want to entertain people who don’t like them.
- Italian Grandparents on Skype [00:42:00] — Video of Italian grandparents freaking out while on Skype with granddaughter Gabby who is walking alone across her New Jersey college campus at night.
- Billy Joel Live Debate [00:46:00] — Bob complains about a restaurant playing obscure live Billy Joel tracks on Pandora. Dale defends Billy Joel, saying his live performances are better than studio versions.
- Emotional Songs to Make Carissa Cry [00:47:00] — Dale plays Dan Fogelberg’s ‘Leader of the Band’ and David Gates songs to make Carissa emotional about her family and her dog Stevie who is staying in Waco.
- Ticket Giveaway Setup [00:56:58] — Bob prepares to give away punch comedy show tickets. Dale mentions upcoming Guns N’ Roses giveaway.
Recurring Bits
- Video Schmideos [00:14:30] — Dale presents collection of videos saved over two weeks including pranks, viral moments, and bizarre news footage
Callers
- unnamed [00:35:18] — Called to say he’s dead after driving forklift off loading dock Brief joke call, quickly dismissed
- unnamed [00:36:00] — Explained that umbilical cord attaches to placenta Provided biology information during the Carissa confusion segment
- unnamed [00:39:01] — Wanted to make statement about fish freezing, taking 3-4 days Dale mocked him for his slow delivery (‘I would like to make a statement’)
- Sabra [00:39:57] — Mentioned listening in afternoon, identified as person who emailed about Carissa saying ‘like’ too much Dale joked that Carissa wished her dead
- unnamed [00:57:31] — Requested source of ‘I scared’ sound effect Dale explained it’s from Brian Regan’s audition tape for The Outsiders sent to Stanley Kubrick
Text Line
- [00:01:00] Email to Carissa pointing out she’s using ‘like’ a lot again — read by Dale Dudley Made Carissa upset and defensive throughout the show, became a running theme
Music
- Dan Fogelberg — Dale played ‘Leader of the Band’ and other Fogelberg songs to make Carissa emotional
- David Gates — Dale played David Gates song to continue making Carissa cry about her family
- Bruno Mars — Matt mentioned ’24K Magic’ is his current favorite song
Quotes
That’s the sound of your marriage dying when you have a kid.
Dale Dudley [00:10:00]
Remember children, when your parents say it’s not your fault, they are lying.
Bob Fonseca [00:17:21]
You thought a baby was snorkeling in a gut?
Dale Dudley [00:30:00]
How can people believe in Pizzagate? But you’re proving it right now.
Bob Fonseca [00:31:51]
Part 3: Primate Time
The show opens with a chaotic Guns N’ Roses ticket giveaway where callers don’t follow instructions. Bob rants about an Austin Statesman blog naming Austin’s ‘royal family’ (Willie Nelson, Matthew McConaughey, Leslie the homeless man, etc.), particularly angry that Leslie is included over actual contributors. The hosts take love language quizzes, discovering Dale and his wife are completely mismatched. Carissa appears stressed about Sideshow podcast support issues, leading to an extended comedy bit where they put her in a gorilla mask. The show ends with Bob discovering financial discrepancies in Sideshow revenue and Jim Bakker begging for money after claiming Trump called him.
Segments
- Guns N’ Roses Ticket Giveaway Disaster [00:00:03] — Dale attempts to give away Guns N’ Roses tickets via text contest, but multiple callers phone in instead of texting, with one dropping an F-bomb on air.
- Austin Statesman Royal Family Blog [00:06:58] — Bob is furious about an Austin Statesman blog listing Austin’s ‘royal family’ including Willie Nelson, Matthew McConaughey, Kendra Scott, Aaron Franklin, and Leslie the homeless man as ‘Queen Mother.’
- Love Languages Quiz Results [00:19:56] — Dale and Bob take the Five Love Languages quiz. Dale ties on quality time and words of affirmation with zero interest in receiving gifts. His wife is the opposite: gifts and physical touch are her top languages.
- Car Shopping Frustrations [00:31:51] — Dale discusses wanting a Tesla but being frustrated by the true costs and complexity, including needing a 240-volt plug installation.
- Carissa’s Sideshow Support Meltdown [00:38:54] — Carissa is overwhelmed with Sideshow podcast support issues. The hosts put her in a gorilla mask that matches her furry jacket, creating extended Harambe jokes while she vents about technical problems.
- Sideshow Financial Revelations [00:41:52] — Discussion reveals there are 1,500 annual subscribers at $40 each ($60,000 total), but Bob and others are getting far less than expected in quarterly payments, raising questions about the revenue distribution.
- Jim Bakker Fundraising Plea [00:54:36] — The show plays clips of televangelist Jim Bakker claiming Trump called him for almost 20 minutes, then immediately pivoting to begging for donations to stay on the air.
Recurring Bits
- Animal Cavalcade [00:38:54] — Extended segment titled ‘Primate Time’ where Carissa wears a gorilla mask while discussing Sideshow problems, with hosts making Harambe references
Callers
- unnamed [00:00:56] — Guns N’ Roses tickets Called instead of texting, said F-bomb on air, didn’t get tickets
- unnamed [00:03:30] — Guns N’ Roses tickets Called instead of texting after Dale explicitly said to text
- unnamed [00:03:56] — Bob and Bruce Springsteen story Directed to Friday morning podcast to hear the full story
Text Line
- [00:35:03] Wife took love language test and joked her result was ‘divorce and leave him’ — read by Dale Dudley Dale discovers his wife’s love languages (gifts, words of affirmation, touch) are opposite his own, leading to discussion about their incompatibility
Quotes
I just told you how to win the tickets and you called me
Dale Dudley [00:02:31]
We may be doing another two or three years in one market
Bob Fonseca [00:07:04]
Get out of here and go make millions!
Dale Dudley [00:13:45]
30 years and they still think the guy who crapped in the woods was the end-all be-all
Dale Dudley [00:16:48]
Figure me out. I read the book last year when I was trying to figure you out
Dale Dudley [00:34:03]
Everybody wants me to solve problems and I can’t solve even my own
Carissa Jade [00:48:44]