Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Wednesday, February 1, 2017
This Show
Part 1: Emotional Cavalcade
Dale arrives extremely tired after being up since 12:30 AM, dealing with personal chaos at home. The show is tense, with Dale contemplating his future in radio and expressing frustration with listener complaints. He and the producers clash repeatedly over simple questions (whether comedian Brian Callen has been in studio before), turning trivial exchanges into protracted arguments. The show runs Animal Cavalcade featuring stories about a pet squirrel, rodent infestations in Austin, and a heartwarming dog reunion that moves Carissa to tears. Dale also discusses receiving a $693 residual check from Spy Kids and mentions that Robert Rodriguez’s team reached out about extras work.
Segments
- Opening and Dale’s rough morning [00:00:09] — Daniel opens the show. Dale arrives exhausted after being up since 12:30 AM, dealing with chaos at home. He contemplates walking away from his career and just driving away somewhere.
- Maggie May farewell show recap [00:03:03] — Matt and Bob discuss the previous night’s comedy show at Cap City featuring Maggie May’s send-off and surprise guest Paul (who performed while on mushrooms).
- Dale’s continued existential crisis [00:04:28] — Dale continues expressing his exhaustion with radio and life, mentioning he thought about emailing Chase about not wanting to do another three years. He discusses his frustration with social media arguments.
- Brian Callen booking confusion begins [00:08:23] — Dale asks if comedian Brian Callen has been in studio before. This simple question triggers a lengthy, frustrating exchange with Daniel and Carissa that becomes increasingly tense.
- Spy Kids residual check [00:15:00] — Dale reveals he received a $693 residual check from Spy Kids, his largest in six years. He also mentions Beth Sepko reached out about Robert Rodriguez needing extras.
- Animal Cavalcade: Chimps eat their dictators [00:19:00] — Dale opens Animal Cavalcade with a story about chimpanzees that murdered and cannibalized a tyrannical alpha male. Daniel mentions disturbing online footage of chimps.
- Pet squirrel on a harness [00:24:02] — The show discusses a man who rescued and trained a pet squirrel that wears a harness and flies to him from trees.
- Austin rodent infestation [00:25:03] — News report about uptick in mice and rats in Cedar Park and Northwest Austin. ABC Home and Commercial Services seeing 20% increase in rodent calls.
- Carissa’s mom makes Second Life videos [00:27:30] — Carissa reveals her mother makes videos using a green screen wall for Second Life, but won’t share her screen name. Dale offers $100 to anyone who finds them.
- Baby with freezing dog video [00:28:44] — Dale shows annoying video of mother using excessive baby talk. Discussion of Dale’s wife’s made-up word for his mother’s dog that he refuses to say on air.
- Saudi prince flies hawks in coach [00:31:00] — Story about Saudi prince who bought airplane seats for each of his 51 hawks. Matt jokes about keeping your head down in Saudi Arabia.
- Tinder for orangutans [00:34:29] — Dutch zoo plans to let female orangutan choose mate using iPad touchscreen. Matt jokes about scientists clearly never having seen Planet of the Apes.
- Turkish man gives jacket to freezing dog [00:35:25] — Heartwarming video of man in Turkey feeding then giving his jacket to a cold stray dog.
- Lost dog Luna reunited after four days [00:37:51] — Extended video of dog Luna being reunited with owner Dave after being lost for four days following incident where her brother was struck by a car. Dale successfully manipulates Carissa to tears with music and editing.
- Rob Lowe assistant job posting [00:41:46] — Discussion of Rob Lowe’s $70,000/year assistant position with requirements including ‘never assume anything,’ scheduling haircuts every episode, and serving as his ‘body man.’ Carissa reveals she was once a personal assistant.
Recurring Bits
- Animal Cavalcade [00:19:00] — Multiple animal stories including chimps eating dictators, pet squirrel, Austin rodent problem, dog with jacket, lost dog reunion, and orangutan Tinder.
Quotes
I thought about getting in a car and just driving away this morning.
Dale Dudley [00:04:28]
Most people are idiots. That’s the absolute truth.
Dale Dudley [00:07:02]
This is my favorite time of the day. Well, I just cursed it, didn’t I?
Dale Dudley [00:08:11]
We’re a country of racists. Absolutely.
Dale Dudley [00:21:54]
Clearly scientists who have never seen Planet of the Apes.
Matt Bearden [00:35:04]
Part 2: Is Dale A Jerk
This part opens with Pop Cop, then Dale asks if he was a jerk for confronting a car wash employee who left arm smudges on his freshly washed Ford. The crew debates his approach. The show transitions to Jim Bakker’s demons rant about the Women’s March, then covers a Florida megachurch pastor caught in bed with a parishioner. Tensions rise when Daniel makes a ‘don’t do your job’ comment that Dale takes as a barb, leading to an on-air argument about broken computers and workplace frustration. The segment ends with continued bickering.
Segments
- Pop Cop [00:00:02] — Dale performs the Pop Cop bit with celebrity birthdays, news jokes, and topical humor including shots at Ronda Rousey and Drew Barrymore.
- Queeta Culpepper Memory [00:04:13] — Dale recalls making out with Queeta Culpepper in the rain while discussing whether he fetishizes women of different ethnic backgrounds.
- Was Dale a Jerk – Car Wash Incident [00:11:26] — Dale asks if he was a jerk for telling a car wash employee to wipe down arm smudges left on his freshly washed Ford. The crew debates his tone and approach.
- Netflix Recommendations [00:22:52] — Caller Stan recommends Canada’s Worst Driver. Dale suggests Sense8 but warns about gay sex content.
- God Squad – Jim Bakker on Women’s March [00:31:04] — Dale plays clips of Jim Bakker and Billy Brim claiming the Women’s March participants were driven by demons and discussing taking authority over the kingdom of darkness.
- Florida Pastor Sex Scandal [00:43:02] — Dale covers Pastor Jermaine Simmons caught in bed with a parishioner, forced to flee naked, then apologizing to his congregation by claiming he was hurting because he hurt them.
- Alita: Battle Angel Extras Casting [00:49:46] — Dale announces that Robert Rodriguez and James Cameron need extras for their Austin film shoot Friday night, looking for punk/emo/rocker types.
- Daniel and Carissa Computer Meltdown [00:50:00] — Daniel makes a ‘don’t do your job’ comment that Dale interprets as a personal attack. Tensions escalate over broken computers, lack of support, and workplace frustrations. The argument spirals into a heated on-air confrontation.
Recurring Bits
- Pop Cop [00:00:02] — Dale does celebrity birthdays and news jokes including Pauly Shore, Ronda Rousey, Drew Barrymore, and Chinese RV tourists
- God Squad [00:31:04] — Dale plays Jim Bakker and Billy Brim clips calling Women’s March participants demons and discussing spiritual warfare
Callers
- Stan [00:22:02] — Called to say Matt’s side was still hurting from his show and to recommend Netflix series Canada’s Worst Driver Brief friendly call congratulating Matt on landing a gig
- Michael [00:49:41] — Called to comment on Bob’s ‘he got off’ joke about the pastor scandal Bob acknowledges the callback humor, gives honorary crickets
Quotes
Don’t be that old man, do not be that old man.
Dale Dudley [00:13:41]
It’s a constant reminder. You’re never going to be good enough.
Dale Dudley [00:16:03]
I remember when old people weren’t crazy.
Dale Dudley [00:38:02]
You just got to call it out as complete hogwash.
Dale Dudley [00:42:12]
He has a get out of jail free card. Just says forgive me.
Matt Bearden [00:45:07]
Daniel Can’t Speak
The show spends significant time on ‘Fast Food Fanatic,’ reading through a list of 75 restaurants offering free birthday food, though they abandon it partway through. Daniel shares a story about accidentally crashing a funeral in Mexico while vacationing with his brother-in-law, then watching Rick and Morty on an iPad together. The segment devolves into extended laughter when Daniel repeatedly mispronounces ‘wormhole’ as ‘warm hole,’ unable to correctly say the word despite numerous attempts. The hosts also discuss McDonald’s Big Mac sauce ingredients and various Austin landmarks.
Segments
- Whataburger vs In-N-Out debate [00:00:05] — Hosts discuss a Facebook post declaring Whataburger superior to In-N-Out and Shake Shack. Dale mentions the boss going to Harvard for negotiation mastery.
- Fast Food Fanatic: Grossest Foods by State [00:02:52] — Dale starts reading through a Thrillist article about each state’s grossest food, including ambrosia salad, mesquite pods, and brain sandwiches.
- 75 Places for Free Birthday Food [00:17:35] — The show begins an alphabetical reading of 75 restaurants offering free food on birthdays, including Applebee’s, Benihana, and Denny’s Grand Slam.
- Daniel’s Mexico Funeral Story [00:20:03] — Daniel recounts how his dad and brother-in-law drove around Mexico looking for adventure and accidentally crashed a funeral, mistaking it for a street party.
- Watching Rick and Morty on iPad [00:21:56] — Daniel reveals he watched Rick and Morty on an iPad mini with his brother-in-law Jason, who was in his underwear. The hosts mercilessly mock this arrangement.
- Olive Garden Never-Ending Pasta [00:38:00] — Discussion of Olive Garden’s expansion of their never-ending pasta promotion to include lasagna. Daniel claims people order ‘by the page’ at Olive Garden.
- Daniel Can’t Say Wormhole [00:50:20] — The segment’s defining moment: Daniel repeatedly tries and fails to pronounce ‘wormhole,’ saying ‘warm hole’ instead, causing extended hysterical laughter from everyone.
- McDonald’s Big Mac Sauce Revealed [00:59:25] — Dale discusses the ingredients in McDonald’s secret sauce, revealing it contains no ketchup or tomato, just mayonnaise, relish, and MSG.
Recurring Bits
- Fast Food Fanatic [00:02:52] — Extended segment reading grossest foods by state and 75 restaurants with free birthday food offers
Callers
- unnamed [00:44:01] — Called to make a ‘dim sum nuts’ joke about PF Chang’s The hosts immediately recognize it as a lazy joke setup and mock the caller for it. The caller admits he was trying to trick them into saying it.
- Chance (Liberty Hill) [00:56:40] — Land surveyor who says he’s laughing so hard at the wormhole bit his body is leaning against a fence Brief call expressing how hard he’s laughing at Daniel’s pronunciation struggles
Quotes
Everybody out there is asking if the next t-shirt can be ‘how many syllables is worm’
Bob Fonseca [00:55:25]
My brother and I would not have gotten under a blanket together to watch an iPad
Dale Dudley [00:24:48]
Guys, we lost 70 million last year on free pasta. More pasta!
Dale Dudley [00:39:05]