Dudley and Bob
Dudley and Bob

Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Wednesday, March 1, 2017

This Show

Part 1: Popsicle Toes & Showing Off The Scottee Vest

The show opens with the usual intro and banter about CJ Morgan’s changed hours. Dale reveals he’s wearing a Scottevest (a multi-pocketed travel vest) under his jacket and shows it off to growing ridicule, demonstrating its many pockets, shammy, bungee cords, iPad pocket, and more. He ultimately decides to return it. Bob brings up the 1974 song ‘Popsicle Toes’ by Michael Franks, claiming it was a hit; Dale insists he’s never heard it, sparking a debate. Carissa discusses her love of movies and shares that she was devastated by Bill Paxton’s death, claiming 20 friends checked on her (which the hosts mock). The show shifts to a viral ghost photo, then to Dale’s frustration with Carissa’s argument that science is never definitive.

Segments

  • Show open and CJ Morgan’s absence [00:00:13] — Bob does the intro and the hosts realize CJ Morgan no longer works mornings, though he still appears sometimes.
  • Dale’s cold and Carissa’s outfit [00:01:45] — Dale’s recovering from a cold; Daniel now has it. Carissa wears a strapless 1970s-style pantsuit that keeps slipping; Dale comments she’s ‘way too thin.’
  • Dale’s exhausting day and bills [00:05:45] — Dale recounts a rough day: bills exceeded his paycheck, two cars in the shop, dentist visit with bad news about his long-running tooth implant saga.
  • Sideshow ticket sales [00:08:09] — Dale announces the April 19 sideshow at Cap City Comedy Club is more than half sold out (about 100 tickets left).
  • Player song lyric discussion [00:09:03] — A Player song lyric (‘wearing a mask of false bravado’) sparks a brief tangent. Someone tries to include Toto in yacht rock, angering Dale.
  • Dale’s dental saga continues [00:09:38] — Dale details five surgeries on an abscessed tooth, a failed implant, his ex-brother-in-law’s retirement, and now Chad (the dentist) says the bone has receded too much. Chad gave Dale a 10% discount ‘as a professional courtesy because of Carissa.’
  • Bill Paxton and Carissa’s grief [00:12:25] — Dale laughs remembering Carissa’s claim that ’20 friends’ contacted her to see if she was okay after Bill Paxton died. The hosts mock her; she lists the celebrities whose deaths would devastate her: John Cusack, Bill Pullman, Bill Paxton, Gael García Bernal.
  • Carissa’s movie obsession [00:15:52] — Carissa admits she went through a phase where everything in her life related to movies, including relationships. She once had a crush on a married Blockbuster employee. Dale analyzes this as coping with a missing parent by escaping into fantasy.
  • Jessica Lange and ‘Tootsie’ [00:16:42] — Dale recalls seeing ‘Tootsie’ four times for Jessica Lange, then laments how old she looks now on a horror TV series. Bob mentions Stephen Bishop’s ‘it might be you’ from the film.
  • ‘Popsicle Toes’ debate begins [00:17:07] — Bob brings up Michael Franks’ 1974 song ‘Popsicle Toes.’ Dale insists he’s never heard it; Bob is shocked. The song only charted at #43. They play it; Dale maintains he’s never heard it in his life.
  • Spectrum Business promo [00:24:10] — Matt reads a Spectrum Business ad.
  • Scottevest reveal [00:25:24] — Dale reveals he’s wearing a Scottevest under his leather jacket. He planned to subtly pull out the shammy on a cord to see if anyone noticed, but got too hot.
  • Scottevest demonstration [00:27:42] — Dale shows off the vest’s features: shammy, glasses case, 19 pockets, RFD-protected credit card pocket, personal network for earbuds, bungee cords for keys and building pass, diet drink holder, iPad pocket, hearing aid case. The hosts ridicule it mercilessly.
  • Caller Damon mocks the vest [00:35:46] — Caller Damon asks if there’s ‘a pocket to keep your dignity in.’ Dale hangs up on him.
  • Dale decides to return the vest [00:36:53] — Dale concludes the $125 vest isn’t worth it and he’ll send it back, though he got entertainment value out of showing it off.
  • Viral ghost photo [00:37:28] — Dale shows a viral photo of a woman and her son at a fishing pond with what appears to be a man in a baseball cap and bandana standing behind them — but no one else was there.
  • CERN scientists say ghosts are BS [00:39:35] — Dale mentions scientists at CERN with the Hadron Collider say ghosts don’t exist because they would have found evidence. Carissa counters that science doesn’t know ‘spiritual being.’
  • Science vs. spirituality argument [00:40:03] — Carissa argues ‘there’s never a final statement in science’ and that even proven facts can change. Dale counters with the example of cyanide being provably deadly. Carissa insists that’s ‘not science, that’s a fact.’ The argument escalates; Daniel sides with Carissa that there’s no ‘definitive’ in science, only laws and theories.

Recurring Bits

  • The Sideshow [00:08:09] — Dale promotes the April 19 sideshow at Cap City Comedy Club, now more than half sold out.

Callers

  • Damon [00:35:46] — Called to mock Dale’s Scottevest, asking if there was ‘a pocket to keep your dignity in’ Dale hung up on him immediately and told him to ‘go listen to Popsicle Toes’

Music

  • Michael Franks — ‘Popsicle Toes’ (1974) played and debated at length; Dale insists he’s never heard it, Bob is shocked

Quotes

You claimed that 20 friends contacted you to check and see if you were okay. Zero friends contacted you.

Dale Dudley [00:12:25]

Just wondering if there’s a pocket to keep your dignity in.

Caller Damon [00:35:46]

That might be true but you don’t know what cyanide is.

Carissa Jade [00:41:34]

Part 2: The 4th Dimension & CJ Hates the Listeners

The show devolves into chaotic arguments about science, ghosts, and the fourth dimension after Carissa questions whether anything is provable. Dale, Bob, and callers try to explain scientific facts while Daniel offers confused explanations of theoretical physics. Later, CJ Morgan returns from vacation and melts down over listener comments and the hosts’ discussion of his free meal at ALC Steaks, sending multiple passive-aggressive emails and demanding everyone stop talking about him.

Segments

  • Still Arguing About Science [00:00:00] — Dale complains that they never got to the Hadron Collider ghost story because Carissa kept arguing that science isn’t provable. The tension from the previous segment carries over.
  • Pop Cop Returns [00:02:15] — Matt does his Pop Cop character with news commentary, including Trump’s speech self-grading, marijuana enforcement, Subway’s chicken DNA content, and iPhone rumors.
  • The Scotty Vest [00:07:09] — Dale describes wearing a travel vest with dozens of pockets that he can’t navigate, comparing it to looking like ‘a photographer hanging outside of a strip club.’
  • Choose Life Hypocrite [00:09:00] — Dale recounts seeing a woman with anti-abortion ‘Choose Life’ stickers driving while looking at her phone with both hands in a school zone, calling out the hypocrisy.
  • Science Teacher Calls to Mock Carissa [00:13:00] — A high school science teacher calls to invite Carissa to his class for the next four years. She gets defensive about her science education and family credentials.
  • Hadron Collider Disproves Ghosts [00:17:59] — Dale reads the story about Brian Cox claiming the Large Hadron Collider has essentially disproven ghosts by showing no energy structure exists that would allow them.
  • Daniel Explains the Fourth Dimension (Badly) [00:23:00] — Daniel attempts to explain the fourth dimension using Neil deGrasse Tyson’s analogy about shoes in a closet, but confuses everyone. He also discusses multiple infinities.
  • Texas Road Trip Lists [00:27:00] — Dale shares ’16 Unforgettable Road Trips to Take in Texas,’ but Daniel and others immediately start yelling at the map and criticizing the routes before reading what they’re about.
  • CJ’s Meltdown Begins [00:50:00] — CJ Morgan returns from vacation and explains he sent multiple increasingly unhinged emails because listeners were leaving mean comments on his social media, and he was upset about Monday’s show discussion.
  • The ALC Steaks Controversy [00:53:00] — CJ is upset that the hosts discussed his free meal and that Matt mentioned it in front of his girlfriend. He insists he tipped properly and didn’t ask for the hookup.
  • CJ Admits Punching [00:55:00] — The hosts confront CJ about lying about his hand surgery, which he now admits was from punching things. Dale asks if he punched the waiter over the tip comment.
  • CJ Unravels Completely [00:58:00] — CJ spirals trying to explain what upset him, mentioning Porsche/Cavalier jokes, the meal, and having to deal with social media in the desert. Dale tells him to hug everyone and go home.

Recurring Bits

  • Pop Cop [00:02:15] — Matt does Pop Cop delivering fake news commentary including Trump, marijuana laws, Subway chicken DNA, and iPhone rumors

Callers

  • Matt (San Antonio) [00:13:55] — Called as a high school science teacher to mock Carissa’s understanding of science and invite her to sit in his class Carissa gets defensive and says she hopes he blows himself up in a chemistry accident. He teases her about bathroom breaks and cell phones before being thanked and hung up on
  • Eric [00:28:29] — Tried to explain the fourth dimension using Toy Story as an analogy Dale dismisses him as someone who should never be talking about science
  • Pete [00:29:04] — Called to quote something about ‘dimensions of infinity’ from someone named Jennifer Hoffman Immediately identified as a nerd and hung up on mid-quote
  • Chris [01:00:11] — Called back to mention Michael Franks song ‘The Juggler’ Brief call, no one knew the song, quickly moved on

Text Line

  • [00:27:45] CJ texted in about different levels and sizes of infinities, explaining there are different numbers used to calculate them — read by Carissa Jade Dale makes a joke about CJ punching through walls in the fourth dimension

Quotes

You can still question it and doing experiment but if you go minutes without oxygen you’re dead

Dale Dudley [00:01:00]

Is that choosing life, that you would want everybody to have the baby yet you choose to drive on your phone?

Dale Dudley [00:11:50]

I don’t allow cell phones? I wouldn’t go to your class because you sound like an idiot

Carissa Jade [00:15:27]

The fourth dimension is like I put my shoes in the closet and they are there

Daniel Gallo [00:23:55]

I hold out eternal hope that there’s something afterwards but if there’s not you’re not gonna know it

Dale Dudley [00:32:51]

I want you to hug everyone in this room so you don’t go in the next room and punch a wall

Dale Dudley [00:59:57]

Part 3: Reporter Tony Plohetski

Tony Plohetski, investigative reporter for the Austin American-Statesman and KVUE, visits the studio for an extended interview. The hosts discuss his dual role at both outlets, his career background starting in Mississippi, and his current coverage of ICE operations in Austin. The conversation touches on journalism ethics, social media criticism, and the challenges of investigative reporting, with recurring jokes about LaQuita Culpepper warning Tony that the hosts might not be nice to him.

Segments

  • Tech Land Sale Story [00:00:06] — Dale discusses two Texas Tech grads who sold mineral rights on 71,000 West Texas acres for $2.8 billion, making them the richest Texans under 40. CJ Morgan briefly participates in the discussion.
  • Tony Plohetski Introduction [00:01:45] — Dale introduces investigative reporter Tony Plohetski from the Austin American-Statesman and KVUE. They discuss Tony’s dual role at both outlets and how he divides his time between print and television.
  • Tony’s Background [00:03:34] — Tony shares his origin story: growing up in a small Mississippi town (population 1,900), working at both a weekly newspaper and country radio station starting at age 13, and eventually moving to Austin in 2000 after college.
  • Career Path and Motivation [00:05:40] — Discussion of Tony’s career progression from covering Williamson County to investigative reporting. Dale probes into Tony’s personal motivations for journalism, with Tony emphasizing seeking truth and holding officials accountable.
  • Art Acevedo Secret Recording Discussion [00:07:03] — Dale brings up a previous story involving secret recordings of Police Chief Art Acevedo, which Dale criticized as overhyped. Tony defends the story while acknowledging the promotional angle may have been misleading.
  • ICE Operations Coverage [00:10:28] — Tony discusses his front-page story about ICE operations in Austin, including Sheriff Sally Hernandez’s policy changes and the recent roundup of 51 people. He addresses speculation about political motivations behind the operations.
  • Social Media and Public Response [00:12:44] — Discussion of reading comments on social media, with Tony describing putting on his ‘social media armor.’ The conversation turns to Trump’s ‘fake news’ attacks and the importance of factual reporting.
  • Personal Life and Running [00:15:03] — Tony reveals he’s an Eagle Scout, enjoys running marathons, and will be co-announcing the Austin American-Statesman Capital 10,000 race with LaQuita Culpepper in April.
  • Interviewing Techniques [00:16:52] — Bob asks Tony about getting answers from evasive officials. Tony explains his approach of being well-prepared and transparent, noting that local officials know he often already has the answer when asking questions.
  • LaQuita Culpepper Text Exchange [00:19:36] — The hosts tease Tony about LaQuita warning him they might not be nice. Dale texts her during the interview to defend their reputation, leading to a joking debate about who was lying about Tony being nervous.

Guests

  • Tony Plohetski (expert) [00:01:45] — Investigative reporter for Austin American-Statesman and KVUE, discussing his career and current ICE operations coverage

Quotes

I do use the local TV stations, and I try to give them credit when we’re using one of their stories.

Dale Dudley [00:02:19]

I went into this business to seek the truth. That’s what journalism is about.

Tony Plohetski [00:06:16]

Isn’t it astounding that you’re hearing a president of the United States telling people not to believe facts?

Dale Dudley [00:18:23]

Part 4: America is Saved!! & Noah’s Ark Sucks

The final hour focuses on Dale’s criticism of Pat Robertson blaming Satan for opposition to Trump, followed by discussion of the Ark Encounter theme park in Kentucky facing financial troubles and disappointing the surrounding community. The hosts review negative Trip Advisor reviews and discuss the park’s failure to bring economic benefits to Williamstown. The segment devolves into Bob and Dale arguing about a past Italy vacation, with tensions rising over who was to blame for various mishaps.

Segments

  • Amplify Austin charity promotion [00:00:02] — Dale promotes Amplify Austin charity drive, specifically recommending Health Alliance for Austin Musicians (HAAM) and mentioning friend Ricky who works there.
  • Trump’s Congressional speech review [00:03:16] — Hosts discuss Trump’s speech receiving 78% approval rating. Dale plays CNN’s 90-second summary, noting the tribute to Navy SEAL Ryan Owens’ widow while criticizing Trump for earlier blaming the military for the operation.
  • Trump Cyprus bank accounts [00:06:09] — Dale discusses reports of two Trump shell companies discovered in Cyprus, a tax haven and money laundering center for Russian oligarchs, mentioning the new TrumpLeaks website.
  • Pat Robertson: Satan behind Trump opposition [00:07:46] — Dale plays Pat Robertson clip blaming Satan and spiritual forces for opposition to Trump. Dale launches into extended rant criticizing Robertson’s political theology and comparing religious conservatives to the Taliban.
  • Echo Man character debut [00:15:38] — Daniel introduces new character ‘Echo Man’ who lives inside Daniel’s head and repeats everything with an echo effect. Brief comedy bit with Lou Gehrig and Ricola references.
  • Ark Encounter financial failure [00:18:00] — News report on Ken Ham’s Ark Encounter theme park in Kentucky failing to deliver promised economic benefits to Williamstown. Park had 500,000 visitors in 2016 but local businesses remain closed and the town teeters on bankruptcy.
  • Ark Encounter review deep dive [00:23:54] — Hosts read through Trip Advisor reviews, including complaints about high prices ($40 adults, $28 kids, $10 parking), forced bus shuttle, heat lamps food, religious overload, and lack of practical explanations. One reviewer spelled ‘waste’ as ‘wiast.’
  • Italy vacation argument [00:29:32] — Discussion of Ark reviews triggers argument between Dale and Bob about their Italy vacation, specifically a walking tour of Rome and trip to Pompeii. Dale blames Bob’s family for slowing everyone down; Bob blames the tour guide’s pace and Dale’s attitude.
  • Truck crash video [00:32:37] — Brief viewing of video showing pickup truck in police chase clearing a fence and sign, jumping into parking lot. Confusion over whether anyone died.

Recurring Bits

  • God Squad [00:07:46] — Extended segment criticizing Pat Robertson’s claim that Satan is behind opposition to Trump, with Dale ranting about religious hypocrisy and conservative Christianity

Quotes

I don’t ever want to take another phone call from anyone who tries to sell that religious garbage to me.

Dale Dudley [00:08:43]

If you meet a blind man with one blind eye, you poke the other goddamn eye out. That’s what Jesus said.

Dale Dudley [00:14:36]

I’d rather go to that ark than walk through Pompeii or Rome ever again.

Dale Dudley [00:29:46]

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