Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Friday, March 3, 2017
This Show
Part 1: Carissa’s Boogers
Bob hosts in Dale’s absence (who is in Vegas). The show opens with discussion of Dale successfully using the ‘$100 trick’ for a hotel upgrade. The main segment devolves into an extended discussion about Daniel ordering the wrong sandwich at Arby’s – he got a ‘Chicago Philly cheesesteak’ that wasn’t what he ordered, leading to a lengthy debate about fast food ordering strategy. Carissa discusses being sick with crusty nasal discharge, and the cast discusses their shared illness causing depression and unusual hunger. Jeff Sessions’ recusal from Russia investigations is briefly discussed. Bob assigns Daniel homework to write a complaint letter to Arby’s corporate.
Segments
- Show Open – Dale in Vegas [00:00:01] — Bob opens the show, announces Dale is in Las Vegas and successfully used the ‘$100 trick’ plus ‘pulled the radio card’ to get an upgrade. Discussion of Vegas hotel rooms and jacuzzis in hotel rooms.
- Carissa’s Illness and Leather Jacket [00:07:02] — Daniel and Carissa both sick with what Bob had earlier. Carissa pulls colorful crusty boogers from her nose. Matt compliments Carissa’s ‘bad girl’ look in a leather jacket, suggesting she abandon her bubbly persona.
- Illness Symptoms and Depression [00:11:03] — Discussion of how this virus causes unusual depression, extreme hunger, and various symptoms. Bob ate massive amounts before yesterday’s show. Daniel’s ears are clogged. The cast discusses feeling suicidal-level depression from being sick.
- Jeff Sessions and Russia [00:15:03] — Bob wants kudos for predicting Sessions would face consequences. Sessions recused himself from Russia investigations. Daily Show clip plays mocking Sessions as a Keebler elf and discussing Russian contacts. Brief discussion of Russian exchange students Bob knew in college.
- Alaska History Tangent [00:22:30] — Carissa shares facts from National Geographic about Alaska purchase from Russia, being thought a mistake initially. Discussion of Inuit people and whether they were displaced like other First Nations groups.
- Daniel’s Arby’s Disaster [00:26:06] — Daniel reveals he went to Arby’s yesterday, ordered from the ‘Big City Sandwiches’ menu (a Chicago item), got the wrong sandwich (a fire-roasted Philly), and threw it away. Extended discussion about how Daniel should only order the junior roast beef, not experimental menu items. Matt and Bob incredulous that Daniel ordered a Philly cheesesteak from Arby’s.
- Assignment: Write to Arby’s Corporate [00:38:06] — Bob assigns Daniel to write a complaint letter to Arby’s corporate office about getting the wrong sandwich. Debate over whether to handwrite or type it, whether to call customer service, and how to craft an effective complaint. Bob promises to provide a stamped envelope on Monday.
Recurring Bits
- Friday Morning House Party [00:01:27] — Bob announces it’s a house party today with giveaways and mentions caller line 834-0937
- Fast Food Fanatic [00:02:01] — Bob mentions a Fast Food Fanatic segment is planned, and references yesterday’s discussion of the Arby’s ‘meat mountain’
- The Sideshow [00:00:00] — Not directly mentioned but implied in show structure
Quotes
If you’re not puking and you can walk, you can do this show.
Bob Fonseca [00:08:32]
You should see the color of crusties I’ve been pulling out of my nose.
Carissa Jade [00:11:03]
Being dead is better than this. That’s the feeling you have with a really bad flu.
Bob Fonseca [00:13:51]
If you meet a Russian, you’ll remember that. Those people make an impression.
Trevor Noah [00:19:00]
You stick with what you know at a place like that.
Matt Bearden [00:28:50]
Part 2: Robots
This segment features extensive discussion about autonomous vehicles and technology, sparked by Austin City Council’s resolution to promote self-driving cars. Dale Hanson from WFAA Dallas delivers an editorial about a transgender high school wrestler forced to compete against girls. The hosts debate comedy education via Steve Martin’s MasterClass, and Carissa passionately argues against technology dependence, expressing concerns about hacking and security while Matt counters with practical arguments about progress and safety.
Segments
- Sideshow Live Podcast Promo [00:00:00] — Bob promotes the upcoming live Sideshow podcast at Cap City Comedy Club on April 19th during Moontower week. Tickets are selling fast with 100 sold on the first day.
- Pop Cop [00:01:06] — Pop Cop delivers celebrity and political news in character, including World Book Day, Rick Perry’s confirmation as Energy Secretary, Jeff Sessions’ Russia contacts, and other pop culture items with comedic commentary.
- Steve Martin MasterClass Discussion [00:06:26] — Bob introduces Steve Martin’s new MasterClass on comedy. The hosts debate whether comedy can be taught and discuss the $90 price point for 25 video lessons. They play the promotional video and Matt expresses interest in the editing and self-critique aspects.
- Austin Welcomes Self-Driving Cars [00:28:40] — Bob reports on Austin City Council’s resolution to make Austin a leader in autonomous vehicle technology. Mayor Adler says Austin should be ‘what Detroit was to automakers’ for self-driving cars.
- Dale Hanson Editorial on Transgender Wrestler [00:33:00] — The hosts play WFAA sports anchor Dale Hanson’s heartfelt editorial about Mack Beggs, a transgender high school wrestler in Texas forced to compete in the girls’ division despite identifying as male and taking testosterone. Hanson calls for compassion and updated policies.
- Self-Driving Cars Deep Dive [00:39:45] — A KXAN news report on autonomous vehicles features Audi engineers in Austin and Texas lawmakers discussing the technology. The segment includes demonstrations of the self-driving features and discussion of safety benefits.
- Technology Fear Debate [00:45:05] — Carissa expresses deep concerns about hacking, security vulnerabilities, and dependence on technology with self-driving cars. Matt counters with arguments about human error being more dangerous than computer glitches. The debate becomes heated as Carissa admits to control issues and fear of the future.
Recurring Bits
- Pop Cop [00:01:06] — Celebrity and political news delivered in character with comedic spins on current events including Rick Perry, Jeff Sessions, Melania Trump, and Ed Sheeran hitting Justin Bieber with a golf club
- The Sideshow [00:00:02] — Bob promotes the next live Sideshow podcast at Cap City Comedy Club on April 19th during Moontower week, noting strong ticket sales
Quotes
The last thing I would want in my body when eating donuts is something unhealthy.
Pop Cop [00:11:51]
Austin should be to automated vehicles what Detroit was to automakers.
Mayor Steve Adler [00:33:45]
He needs our support and does not need old men in Austin making his life harder.
Dale Hanson [00:36:34]
We can’t even get free health care for people who are poor. How is world salary in our future?
Carissa Jade [00:52:02]
I have extreme control issues.
Carissa Jade [01:00:16]
Part 3: The Future is Scary, Yall
The final hour of the show focused on technical mishaps, ticket giveaways, and a melting-down Carissa. The hosts promoted a new Amazon Alexa skill called ‘Danielisms’ while struggling with the TV screen system. They played ‘What Do You Got’ for concert tickets, with callers offering everything from smart condom facts to Dan Ninen’s cell phone number. Carissa spiraled into stress about moving, lack of sleep, science trolling, and life in general, while the hosts discussed self-driving cars, a vegan chicken-truck accident, cookie dough stores, and Peep Oreos that turn bodily fluids pink.
Segments
- Danielisms Alexa Skill Announcement [00:00:00] — Dale announces the show will launch an Amazon Alexa skill called ‘Danielisms’ developed by listener Richard Goodwin, playing random Daniel quotes on command. Daniel worries about monetization while hosts tease him.
- What Do You Got Setup [00:03:32] — The hosts prepare to give away Ambrosia, At The Drive-In, and ZZ Top tickets, explaining the game to callers while dealing with phone system confusion.
- Self-Driving Cars and Traffic Complaints [00:09:19] — Callers weigh in on self-driving cars, including a trucker stuck in Austin I-35 traffic and a Tesla owner citing statistics showing autonomous vehicles are 1,800 times safer than human drivers.
- Smart Condom Winner [00:16:24] — Caller Emily wins At The Drive-In tickets by discussing a smart condom that rates sexual performance, tracks speed of thrust, girth, and calories burned for $60.
- Failed What Do You Got Attempts [00:19:46] — Multiple callers fail with singing, Donald Trump piñata photos, and other weak attempts. The bit gets chaotic with phone issues.
- Lucy’s Tattoo Offer and Alex’s Dan Ninen Number [00:22:05] — Caller Lucy offers to get a show tattoo for ZZ Top tickets but is rejected. Caller Alex wins by claiming to have Dan Ninen’s personal cell phone number, then offers the tickets to Lucy.
- R. Kelly and Chuy’s Music Tastes [00:32:00] — The hosts learn Chuy is a big R. Kelly fan. Bob offers to get him tickets to that night’s show at Bass Concert Hall and suggests taking Martha Kelly (M. Kelly).
- Carissa’s Meltdown Begins [00:27:47] — Carissa becomes increasingly stressed and angry, yelling at production staff about phone confusion. Hosts notice she’s dressed ‘like a bad girl’ and speculate about her getting her period.
- Double Dog Video for Carissa [00:39:50] — Dale tries to cheer Carissa up with a viral video of a woman filming a dog in a car window, then freaking out when a second dog appears, but the TV system fails.
- Vegan Hits Chicken Truck Story [00:42:01] — Dale reads a story about a Georgia woman who hit a chicken truck, fled, and told police she did it because she’s a vegan—after claiming she only drank alcohol at home post-accident.
- New Drive-In Theater in Austin [00:44:14] — Blue Starlight is opening a new drive-in movie theater location in South Austin on March 10th at 12419 Loudon Lane, featuring RV rentals, fire pits, and vintage speakers.
- Cookie Dough Store Trend [00:47:59] — Dale discusses a New York trend of stores selling safe-to-eat cookie dough made with pasteurized eggs and heat-treated flour, predicting it will arrive in Austin within 19-24 months.
- Peep Oreos Turn Everything Pink [00:52:01] — The show discusses Peep Oreos containing dye that turns urine and feces pink. Cookie Greg delivers cookies to the studio just as this story breaks.
- Carissa’s Life Crisis [00:53:40] — Carissa breaks down explaining she’s stressed about moving, hasn’t slept all week, works 13-hour days, then makes jewelry until 11:30pm on a tray in bed, has no desk, and doesn’t know how people ‘do things.’
Recurring Bits
- What Do You Got [00:03:32] — Full segment giving away concert tickets for Ambrosia, At The Drive-In, and ZZ Top to callers who impress the hosts
Callers
- James (on I-35, traveling to Mexico) [00:09:19] — Trucker stuck in Austin traffic, hauling auto parts to Mexico, complaining about Austin drivers Provided compliment for Carissa about traffic; hosts teased him about taking toll roads
- Bob (regular) [00:11:19] — Self-driving car statistics – 60 million miles with only one death vs. 1,800 deaths with human drivers Revealed he’s a wealthy Tesla owner with seven cars total, became running joke about being a billionaire who could buy the show out
- Jeremy [00:15:15] — First caller for What Do You Got but connection was bad Call failed due to poor audio quality
- Misty [00:15:53] — Attempted What Do You Got but had connection issues Call dropped immediately
- Emily [00:16:10] — Smart condom that rates sexual performance, tracks thrust speed, girth, calories, costs $60 Won At The Drive-In tickets for having the same story Dale had on his list
- Matthew [00:18:36] — Sang ‘I Will Always Love You’ for tickets Rejected – hosts said singing no longer works for What Do You Got
- Omar [00:19:44] — Had picture of his dad holding a beat up Donald Trump piñata at retirement party Rejected – can’t trade a photo over the phone
- Rob [00:19:57] — Asked if Scottevest comes in purple (combining multiple show references) Rejected – hosts had already seen that joke online
- Kevin [00:20:15] — Said he had a 1971 Chevy van and a 15-year-old girl Hung up on – hosts couldn’t tell if it was a rape joke or Ted Nugent reference
- Lucy [00:21:51] — Offered to get a show tattoo for ZZ Top tickets for her partner who loves them Rejected – hosts said they can’t give tickets for promised tattoos, but another caller later won tickets for her
- Alex [00:24:12] — Claimed to have Dan Ninen’s personal cell phone number Won ZZ Top tickets and offered to give them to Lucy; wouldn’t say how he got the number
- unnamed caller with R. Kelly reference [00:35:30] — Offered used mattress from R. Kelly and a mop Rejected by Daniel
- Tonya (possibly Lucy using different name) [00:30:20] — Offered ZZ Top facts Call dropped or hung up on; hosts suspected it was Lucy trying different approach
Quotes
Chicago is a hot beef town
Dale Dudley [00:01:08]
The third dimension is like I put my shoes in the closet and they are there
Dale Dudley [00:01:27]
It rates your speed of thrust and your girth measurements
Caller Emily [00:16:37]
She was a vegan. You know, you go home, you have a couple shooters
Dale Dudley [00:43:02]
I don’t know how people fit so many things in a day
Carissa Jade [00:56:44]