Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Wednesday, May 6, 2015
This Show
Part 1: Carissa going on vacation
Dale has a heated confrontation with station management (LA Lloyd) over commercial placement and floater spots, which escalates before he learns LA’s father is being moved to hospice. The show discusses Cuba opening to U.S. ferry travel, Matt deflates Katie’s optimism about LA, and there’s ongoing tension about Carissa wanting a day off. Dale apologizes to both LA and Daniel on air while remaining defensive about creative control of the show.
Segments
- Show open and LA Lloyd apology setup [00:00:06] — Dale opens discussing his explosive phone call with sales manager LA Lloyd about commercial placement, admitting he escalated before learning LA’s father is entering hospice care.
- Cuba ferry service approved [00:09:38] — Discussion of two ferry systems receiving licenses to travel from Florida to Cuba, though tourist visas still aren’t allowed. Dale wants to see the vintage cars before Cuba modernizes.
- Katie’s final week [00:16:23] — The intern Katie is in her last week before moving to LA to pursue screenwriting. Dale regrets not doing a dating game segment for her.
- Dry Box phone rescue kiosks [00:26:26] — Discussion of new kiosks that dry out wet phones in 30 minutes for $20, invented in San Antonio, coming to HEB stores.
- Carissa’s Friday off request [00:30:34] — Tension erupts when Carissa wants Friday off to see her sister visiting from Australia. Dale and Bob engage in debate about who needs days off more, with passive-aggressive guilt trips.
- The Dream Crusher dynamic [00:36:06] — Dale accuses Bob of being reflexively negative about any business idea or advancement opportunity, calling the room ‘the crusher of all dreams.’ They argue about past investment opportunities like Lucky Lounge and Subway franchises.
- Engagement ring video reaction [00:39:37] — The crew watches a viral video of a woman trying to show her oblivious mother her engagement ring, comparing it to Carissa. Discussion of someone sending Carissa inappropriate photos.
- Price is Right wheelchair treadmill disaster [00:42:13] — Matt shares an awkward Price is Right clip where Drew Carey tells a wheelchair-using contestant he’ll ‘make it less awkward’ then reveals her prize is a treadmill.
Guests
- Katie (other) [00:16:23] — Departing intern in her final week, moving to LA to pursue screenwriting career
Quotes
I no longer find the general audience important, I find the 31 people on Periscope more important
Dale Dudley [00:01:35]
If an email has the word plethora in it, I’m off the rails
Dale Dudley [00:06:47]
I know how to do it. It survived this long, it may not be doing great, but dammit, I know how to do it
Dale Dudley [00:09:02]
This is the world’s smallest violin
Dale Dudley [00:34:54]
Part 2: Growing Marijuana Plants
Dale, Bob, and Matt discuss the Texas Legislature’s actions on fracking bans, marijuana penalties, and recording state lawmakers. They rant about hypocrisy in politics, share stories about eating habits (Daniel’s massive food consumption, Dale’s past real estate school failure), and react to an Austin Police Department marijuana grow house bust. The show features ongoing tension about Daniel’s unusual behavior and multiple tangents about past advertising mishaps.
Segments
- Dale’s Unfinished Projects [00:00:00] — Dale discusses his pattern of starting things and not finishing them, including private pilot lessons (70 landings), real estate school, and other ventures. Bob questions whether he could go back and finish.
- Legislature Coverage Begins [00:03:13] — Dale launches into coverage of Texas Legislature actions, discussing lawmakers from ‘tiny towns with tiny minds’ coming to tell the rest of Texas what to do.
- James O’Keefe-Style Group Recording Lawmakers [00:03:34] — Discussion of American Phoenix Foundation secretly recording 800 hours of Texas lawmakers and lobbyists, trying to catch them in hypocrisy. Dale is appalled that this far-right group thinks the legislature isn’t conservative enough.
- Fracking Ban Ban [00:10:17] — Legislature passes law preventing cities from banning fracking, overriding Denton’s local ordinance. Dale and Bob rant about hypocrisy of ‘states’ rights’ advocates who won’t allow cities’ rights.
- Marijuana Penalty Reduction [00:15:00] — Discussion of House Bill 507 that would reduce penalty for small amounts of marijuana to $100 civil fine. Dale mocks this as inadequate progress while lawmakers drink alcohol freely.
- European Cruise Planning [00:19:39] — Dale promotes the upcoming Dudley and Bob European cruise, mentions potential cruise cast event at Cap City Comedy Club on May 28th.
- Louie Gohmert on Criminal Justice Reform [00:22:49] — Dale plays clip of Representative Louie Gohmert from Tyler opposing criminal justice reform, suggesting Democrats want felons released so they can vote for Hillary Clinton. Dale is infuriated by the backwards thinking.
- Woman Slashes Dead Rival’s Face [00:28:09] — Story from Oklahoma City about woman who slashed the face of her romantic rival who was already dead and in a casket at the funeral home. Carissa suggests it’s like ‘punching pillows’ to release anger.
- Embalming and Formaldehyde [00:32:05] — Carissa struggles to pronounce ‘formaldehyde’ as the group discusses the embalming process. She reveals she wants to be ‘donated to science’ when she dies.
- Garland Shooting [00:34:15] — Discussion of the Garland, Texas shooting where one police officer took down two would-be ISIS terrorists outside a Muhammad cartoon event. Dale mocks ISIS for claiming the failed attack.
- Daniel’s Eating Habits [00:38:31] — Bob reveals Daniel ate an entire pizza plus half gallon (actually quarter) of ice cream, then later ate all the Wendy’s food on the drive home from a fight, leaving nothing for his wife Jennifer.
- Telephone Game and Lost Advertisers [00:43:05] — Dale explains how misunderstandings led to losing major advertisers Academy Sports and another client when on-air jokes were misinterpreted through the ‘telephone game’ of people reporting what they thought they heard.
- The Pharmaco Masturbation Incident [00:51:00] — Dale tells story of losing the Pharmaco medical research advertiser in the ’90s when he ad-libbed during a live commercial that subjects could ‘stay in your room and masturbate’ during the study.
- APD Marijuana Grow House Bust [00:56:31] — Coverage of Austin Police finding 439 marijuana plants in elaborate grow house setup. Dale questions whether this should be a police priority and mocks the news for emphasizing proximity to an elementary school.
Quotes
Follow the money. These small-town criminals, the legislature, both Democrat and Republican… some of you are criminals.
Dale Dudley [00:11:25]
We’re doing good for Jesus! A hundred dollar fine for smoking weed. How progressive.
Dale Dudley [00:15:39]
That is the most… I mean… Turn in your ISIS card.
Dale Dudley [00:37:53]
I am the biggest crumbling flower when I hurt people’s feelings. I can’t stand it.
Dale Dudley [00:54:27]
Part 3: Head to Head
Part 3 of the 2015-05-06 show features the ‘Head to Head’ trivia game with contestants competing for three-day ACL passes and Judas Priest tickets. Matt Bearden hosts the game with topics including ‘What’s the Word,’ ‘Famous Cures,’ and ‘Coming the Closest.’ The segment includes multiple rounds with callers Brennan, Angie, and Mallory, with Bob and cast members also competing. The show ends with discussion of a lawsuit filed by a Nebraska woman against all homosexuals and promos for the show’s Mediterranean cruise and film festival.
Segments
- Sponsor reads [00:00:00] — Multiple sponsor reads including Jack in the Box Loaded Breakfast Sandwich, ProFlowers Mother’s Day special, and Whole Foods Market.
- Employee review discussion [00:01:41] — The hosts discuss their company performance reviews, including questions about advancement opportunities and bringing personal issues to work.
- Mediterranean cruise promotion [00:10:00] — Dale promotes the June 2016 Mediterranean cruise with meet-and-greet planned at Cap City Comedy Club and details about calling Don at Paradise Vacation Travel.
- Head to Head begins – Brennan vs Bob [00:12:15] — First round of Head to Head with caller Brennan competing against Bob on ‘Famous Cures’ topic. Bob wins after Brennan struggles with questions about gravlax, Jonas Salk, and The Cure.
- Head to Head – Angie vs Carissa [00:22:51] — Second round featuring ‘Coming the Closest’ with questions about sexual topics including average age of losing virginity, calories in semen, and distance records. Ends with technical difficulties and Angie apparently disconnecting.
- Head to Head – Mallory vs Daniel [00:36:45] — Third round using ‘What’s the Word’ puzzle format where contestants must find a word that links multiple other words. Mallory disconnects before the game concludes.
- Woman sues all homosexuals [00:50:33] — Dale reads from a handwritten lawsuit filed by Sylvia Driscoll of Auburn, Nebraska against all homosexuals, asking the court to declare homosexuality a sin.
- Final promos and wrap-up [00:57:00] — Dale promotes the film festival, Mediterranean cruise, and announces Def Leppard ticket giveaway via the 5 Miles app.
Recurring Bits
- Head to Head [00:12:00] — Matt hosts multiple rounds with three different topics: Famous Cures, Coming the Closest, and What’s the Word. Contestants compete for ACL three-day passes and Judas Priest tickets.
- The Sideshow [00:57:08] — Dale mentions the sideshow podcast will replay anything listeners missed from the morning.
Callers
- Brennan (Brennan the Beard) (Wilco) (regular) [00:13:18] — Called to compete in Head to Head for ACL passes, chose Famous Cures topic Lost to Bob 2-1 after struggling with questions about gravlax, polio, and The Cure. Poor phone reception from Wilco area.
- Angie [00:23:41] — Called to compete in Head to Head, chose Coming the Closest topic Competed against Carissa in sexual trivia round. Call disconnected before conclusion due to apparent technical difficulties.
- Mallory [00:36:45] — Called to compete in Head to Head, chose What’s the Word topic Competed against Daniel in word puzzle game. Mysteriously disconnected before game concluded, hosts confused about whether she hung up intentionally.
- Jim [00:54:43] — Called to earnestly defend gay people in response to the lawsuit story Made a sincere statement about loving who you love, which the hosts found awkwardly serious given they were joking about an obviously frivolous lawsuit. Also cursed on air. Works in lawn care but refused to say company name.
Quotes
I could do your job and I can do almost any job in this company.
Dale Dudley [00:06:02]
My mom said you don’t have to have sex, you can always have sex with your mouth.
Carissa Jade [00:31:58]
I want her to prove that God has ever said anything.
Dale Dudley [00:55:02]