Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Tuesday, May 12, 2015
This Show
Part 1: Ticks and Bears
Dale and the crew discuss Carissa’s panic over finding a tick on her leg, combined with her recent fever and other symptoms, leading her to fear Lyme disease. The segment spirals into extended talk about ticks, bears at Yellowstone, fire ants, microscopic face mites, and Daniel’s ant bite. Matt grows increasingly frustrated with the hypochondria and tangents, eventually declaring he’s ‘broken.’ The show also touches on mumps cases at UT and anti-vaxxers.
Segments
- Show Open [00:00:04] — Standard show introduction, mic issues, and discussion of periscoping the show.
- Yellowstone Bear Video [00:05:29] — The crew watches and discusses video of tourists panicking and running from bears at Yellowstone, noting how overweight the people are compared to the bears.
- Carissa’s Tick Panic [00:09:01] — Carissa posts on Facebook about finding a tick on her leg, combined with fever, diarrhea, and other symptoms over several days, sparking hypochondria about Lyme disease.
- Face Mites and Bugs [00:24:30] — Dale shows the crew microscopic footage of Demodex mites that live on everyone’s faces, laying eggs and defecating on skin. Discussion of Daniel’s ant bite follows.
- Mumps at UT [00:28:00] — Second mumps case confirmed at University of Texas. Discussion of anti-vaxxers and InfoWars as an unreliable source.
- Daniel’s Ant Bite Education [00:32:00] — Extended discussion about whether fire ants bite or sting, how their venom works, and whether killer bees were man-made. Matt grows increasingly frustrated.
- Dead Caller Bit [00:36:00] — Dale asks only dead people who crashed into walls to call in. Multiple callers play along, including one who explains how fire ants actually work.
- Pablo Cruz Drug Syndicate [00:42:00] — Matt makes up an elaborate fake story about ‘Pablo Cruz’ drug syndicate and ‘Taco’ crime organization, riffing on band names with Dale and Daniel.
Callers
- unnamed [00:36:49] — Called in pretending to be dead with 102 degree temperature Brief joke call playing along with Dale’s ‘only dead people call’ bit
- unnamed [00:37:06] — Called in dead, still at home with refrigerator scratch Brief nonsensical call
- Karen [00:37:16] — Said the show has ‘broken Matt’ Dale deflects blame to Carissa and Daniel. Karen saved herself from crashing at last second.
- unnamed [00:37:43] — Dead from crashing into tree, then ticks fell on him and ants bit him Brief joke call combining the segment topics
- unnamed [00:41:29] — Not dead but realizes his life is better after listening Quick acknowledgment
- unnamed [00:41:36] — Dead from crash, explains fire ants grab with jaws then sting in circle Provides actual helpful information about fire ant behavior
Text Line
- [00:23:00] Guy posted InfoWars article with ‘more proof’ about not vaccinating — read by Dale Dudley Dale rants about InfoWars not being a credible news source and the dangers of believing everything online
- [00:23:51] Justin Valley wrote ‘I bet you have lemon disease. You’re going to die.’ — read by Dale Dudley Carissa says she’s not pity trolling because she knows people will be mean
Quotes
It’s like Singapore. They round them up and execute them. That’s what it’s like here with bosses.
Dale Dudley [00:04:07]
This is what happens when you have chickens and fleas in your home.
Dale Dudley [00:09:34]
You’re a bunch of work.
Dale Dudley [00:12:00]
That explains everything. When you’re a little kid with this, you’re not getting attention between mom and mom’s bird.
Dale Dudley [00:13:19]
Welcome, first time listeners. It’s Poop Problem Tuesday.
Dale Dudley [00:24:30]
Part 2: Body Shops and Ant Bites
The segment covers multiple topics including Dale’s error about Pablo Escobar’s hippos in Colombia, a discussion of a Mako body shop in Round Rock where employees took customers’ cars for joyrides and left cocaine in one vehicle, and a heated political rant about Texas State Representative Cecil Bell’s anti-gay marriage bill. The hosts also discuss a viral video of a restaurant fight where a family was banned for posting footage online, and a United Airlines incident involving a mother with an autistic daughter who was kicked off a flight.
Segments
- Pablo Escobar’s Hippos [00:00:00] — Dale corrects Daniel’s claim about Pablo Escobar bringing hippos to the US. The hippos are actually in Colombia at Escobar’s former estate, now a park with 50-60 breeding hippos. Discussion about whether hippos could reach the US leads to geography confusion about the Panama Canal.
- Mako Body Shop Joyrides [00:04:01] — KXAN report about a Round Rock Mako collision shop where employees took customer cars for joyrides. One customer found damage, marijuana smell, and a bag of cocaine in his Jeep after picking it up. The shop owner admits to firing half his staff.
- Chinese Restaurant Fight Video [00:08:42] — Discussion of viral video showing massive fight in a Chinese restaurant kitchen. Customer ‘Tank’ King recorded it and posted online; restaurant banned his family with a sign calling him a ‘cyber bully.’ Hosts play and react to the chaotic audio.
- Film Festival Tickets Announcement [00:18:42] — Dale announces 100 tickets (50 pairs) go on sale today for the Dudley Bob Under Five Film Festival at Alamo Drafthouse on May 24th. Also mentions X Games and Judas Priest ticket giveaways.
- Cecil Bell Anti-Gay Marriage Bill Rant [00:23:54] — Dale goes on extended rant about Texas State Rep Cecil Bell’s House Bill 4105, which would ban state employees from issuing same-sex marriage licenses. Dale calls listeners to flood Bell’s office (512-463-0650) with calls and describes Bell as a bigot using religion as an excuse.
- Right-Wing Mother-in-Law at Citizens United Event [00:35:40] — Frank Luntz gives his mother-in-law the microphone at a South Carolina GOP event and she calls immigrants ‘rats and roaches’ before he tries unsuccessfully to take the mic back.
- Moms on Polygraph Tests [00:43:28] — Hosts watch and react to video segment where moms are hooked to polygraph machines and their children ask embarrassing questions, including about threesomes and finding ‘nighttime emissions.’
- United Airlines Kicks Off Autistic Teen [00:46:48] — Story about United Airlines forcing a mother and her 15-year-old autistic daughter Juliette off a flight after the mother asked for help heating food for her daughter who has blood sugar issues. Passengers chanted ‘leave her alone.’ Hosts criticize United’s overreaction.
Guests
- Not yet appeared (other) [00:46:56] — Carissa mentions a guest is coming but they haven’t arrived yet in this segment
Callers
- Kathy (regular) [00:25:36] — Panicking about getting tickets to the Alamo Drafthouse show, website not working Dale tells her the buy button isn’t live yet and to check back. Bob jokes she should just submit a winning film instead.
- unnamed [00:27:06] — Called to confirm fire ants don’t die after they bite Confirms what Matt said about being bitten three times, providing the answer Dale was looking for
- unnamed [00:32:13] — Called Cecil Bell’s office about the anti-gay marriage bill Reports that Bell’s assistant was defensive, saying he filed 46 different bills not all about gay marriage. Dale encourages more calls.
- unnamed [00:35:05] — Called Cecil Bell’s office and asked for the ‘bigotry director’ Brief report that the woman who answered hung up on them
Quotes
If you’ve got a cool car they might take it out for a spin
Dale Dudley [00:08:10]
It’s over. You’re going to lose this. This is a waste of time.
Dale Dudley [00:24:04]
You’re a bigot because you’re using the excuse of an unprovable myth
Dale Dudley [00:30:19]
I’d like you to have them fired because I do not like to hear things that do not reinforce my worldview
Bob Fonseca [00:31:41]
Clean Cause Water
This segment features Wes Hurt, the former creator/owner of Hey Cupcake, who discusses his struggle with addiction to Vicodin and crack cocaine. Wes is now 10 months sober and promoting his new venture, Clean Cause water—a bottled water company that donates 50% of profits to addiction recovery services and employs people in recovery. Dale relates deeply to Wes’s story, sharing his own struggles with alcohol and cocaine. The conversation becomes a candid, extended discussion about addiction, sobriety, recovery, and the challenges both men face. After Wes leaves, the show devolves into watching graphic Canadian workplace safety PSAs, dead baby photos from the 1800s, and attempting to use Siri.
Segments
- People of the Neighborhood intro [00:00:00] — The show opens with the ‘People of the Neighborhood’ theme song. Carissa mentions having digestive issues and is told to go home.
- Wes Hurt introduction [00:00:54] — Wes Hurt, creator and former owner of Hey Cupcake, joins the show. Dale immediately acknowledges their shared history with addiction.
- Wes’s addiction story [00:01:12] — Wes discusses his addiction to 35 Vicodin per day, crack cocaine, and how it consumed his life while building Hey Cupcake. He’s been sober 10 months.
- Dale shares his own struggles [00:05:00] — Dale reveals he hasn’t had cocaine in 8-9 years but still drinks occasionally. He relates to Wes’s journey and shares details about his cocaine and alcohol use.
- Clean Cause water company [00:05:50] — Wes explains his new venture: bottled water that donates 50% of profits to addiction recovery and employs people in recovery. Available at Central Market, Juiceland, Joe’s, Home Slice.
- Dale’s 111 days sober [00:08:01] — Dale discusses his longest stretch of sobriety—111 days—and why he went back to drinking. He describes himself as a ‘functioning problem drinker.’
- Deep dive on addiction [00:16:00] — Bob and Matt ask Wes about what parents can do to prevent addiction. Dale shares traumatic childhood experiences and how they relate to his substance use.
- Canadian workplace safety PSAs [00:23:54] — After Wes leaves, the show watches disturbing Canadian workplace accident PSAs. Matt and Carissa are horrified; Dale finds them fascinating.
- Copper theft electrocution videos [00:35:02] — The show looks at photos of people who were electrocuted trying to steal copper wire. Dale shares his story of attempting to buy crack and being robbed.
- Victorian death photography [00:46:42] — To ‘cleanse the palate,’ they look at post-mortem photography from the 1800s, showing families posing with deceased children.
- Man charged with sex with husky [00:52:54] — A news story about a Montana man facing 10 years for having sex with his girlfriend’s dog. Daniel claims huskies are the smartest dogs.
- Siri failures [00:57:00] — The show ends with Matt and Dale attempting to use Siri to send text messages, with comedic failures.
Recurring Bits
- People of the Neighborhood [00:00:00] — Opens the segment with the theme song as Wes Hurt enters
Guests
- Wes Hurt (other) [00:00:54] — Former Hey Cupcake owner, now 10 months sober, promoting Clean Cause water company that supports addiction recovery
Callers
- Michael [00:45:02] — Comments on Canadian PSA accents Brief observation that the Canadian actors don’t have strong accents
Quotes
Love is an unquantifiable feeling looking at my children sleeping. When they’re awake, I can’t stand them.
Dale Dudley [00:10:34]
Don’t listen to what I say. Watch what we do.
Wes Hurt [00:14:29]
I don’t think people like me on the radio. I get a lot of hate because I’m very forceful.
Dale Dudley [00:19:20]
I smoked soap and plastic one night trying to smoke crack I’d been sold.
Dale Dudley [00:22:03]