Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Wednesday, May 27, 2015
This Show
Part 1: Wedding Cost Woes
The hosts discuss wedding costs using an online calculator showing Dale would have had $77,000 if he’d invested his wedding expenses in the S&P 500. A Houston news story shows reporters making police officers walk through mud for a better shot of a casket that floated out of its grave during flooding. The segment ends with discussion of old cemeteries in Texas and Daniel’s lack of knowledge about basic financial terms.
Segments
- Show open and intern discussion [00:00:00] — Station intro and discussion of intern count. Dale complains about back/disc issues.
- Dale’s packing party and sister commentary [00:03:00] — Dale describes sister Ann making critical comments while he worked in his office, comparing her to their mother. Bob suggests she’s upset about Dale moving the kids far away.
- Revolutionary War ancestor reveal [00:06:00] — Dale announces he discovered he’s descended from a Revolutionary War officer and teases reading the pension application document.
- Cruise Cast postponement [00:08:00] — Dale reports Cap City comedy venue flooded with two feet of water, likely postponing Cruise Cast event.
- Wakey app wake-up calls [00:12:00] — Hosts try the Wakey app to call strangers and wake them up. Matt successfully wakes someone; Dale and Bob mostly get voicemail. Matt finds it awkward.
- Wedding cost calculator introduction [00:16:00] — Dale introduces topic asking how much Daniel spent on his wedding. Daniel struggles to answer, estimating around $10,000-20,000 total with honeymoon and ring.
- Dale’s wedding investment analysis [00:18:00] — Dale reveals he spent $30,000 on wedding (got discounts and freebies), plus ring brings it to around $77,000 if invested in S&P 500 instead. Bob spent essentially nothing (Hawaii wedding).
- Financial literacy lesson [00:23:00] — Daniel and Carissa reveal they don’t know what the S&P 500 is. Bob explains Standard and Poor’s, Dow Jones Industrial, and index funds. Dale pushes for basic financial education.
- Dale’s stock tip [00:26:00] — Dale recommends Agenis, a pharmaceutical company in phase 3 cancer trials that’s also working on malaria cure. Mentions hating Jim Cramer’s advice.
- Houston casket on bike trail story [00:27:00] — Main segment: Houston news crew convinces police to delay moving a casket that floated out of its grave until they get their shot, making officers walk through mud instead of backing van up to cement path.
- Cemetery discussion and grave relocation [00:37:00] — Daniel asks if Austin has ever done mass grave relocations like San Francisco. Discussion of old Texas cemeteries, building over graves, and whether bodies should be moved for development.
- Dale’s cemetery make-out story [00:42:00] — Dale tells story of taking a date to his ‘favorite place’ (turnstile cemetery) at age 15, only to have her freak out when she realized where they were because her mother had been murdered six months earlier.
Quotes
No one listens to terrestrial anymore
Dale Dudley [00:05:00]
What’s wrong Daniel
Dale Dudley [00:28:00]
Let’s hope they get that person properly buried now
Houston news anchor [00:38:00]
Part 2: Charlie Charlie
The hosts discuss the viral ‘Charlie Charlie Challenge’ where teens try to summon a demon using balanced pencils. Dale demonstrates it’s just trickery using breath. Extended discussions include Dale’s Revolutionary War ancestor research, Texas county naming conventions, a Williamson County DA’s bizarre promotional video, a drunk mother arriving at ‘Clowntown’ daycare with three wheels, and a massive buff kangaroo terrorizing an Australian neighborhood. Carissa makes controversial statements about Australia that get pushback.
Segments
- Show opening and flood update [00:00:01] — Dale announces the cruise cast postponement due to Capsidic County Club flooding, discusses upcoming events including X Games passes and film festival.
- Dale’s Revolutionary War ancestry [00:02:42] — Dale shares his sister’s genealogy research revealing his fifth great-grandfather James Sterritt was a Revolutionary War lieutenant who served in multiple battles.
- Texas county naming discussion [00:10:32] — Daniel claims most Texas counties are named after people from the Texas Revolution. The hosts verify multiple examples including Ward County and Smith County.
- Charlie Charlie Challenge explained [00:15:17] — Dale introduces the viral Charlie Charlie Challenge where kids try to summon a demon using balanced pencils. They watch multiple videos of screaming teens.
- Charlie Charlie demonstration [00:21:06] — After searching for pencils, Dale demonstrates how the Charlie Charlie Challenge works by blowing on balanced pencils to make them move, debunking the ‘spirit’ explanation.
- Laura Presley election lawsuit [00:26:22] — Dale discusses former city council candidate Laura Presley losing her lawsuit challenging the election results after losing by 1,200 votes and demanding recounts.
- Williamson County DA video controversy [00:29:04] — The hosts watch and mock a bizarre promotional video made by the husband of Williamson County DA Jana Doody, which became evidence in a motion to remove her from a murder case.
- Drunk mother at Clowntown daycare [00:37:02] — A woman arrived at midnight daycare drunk, missing a tire on her car. Dale tells his ‘Clowntown’ story about dating someone who used all-night daycare, then retires the story.
- Modern dental crown technology [00:44:06] — Dale explains the amazing technology of getting a permanent crown in one hour using 3D scanning and a Cerec machine that mills the crown on-site.
- Giant buff kangaroo in Australia [00:48:45] — The hosts watch a news story about a six-foot-six muscular kangaroo with one ear terrorizing a neighborhood in Australia.
- Australia vs Cincinnati debate [00:53:21] — Daniel repeats a claim that Sydney is ‘Cincinnati by the bay,’ which the hosts mock. Carissa makes controversial statements about Aboriginal Australians that Dale criticizes.
Callers
- Mark Gatzer [00:55:45] — Called during the show, didn’t realize Dale was on-air Dale told him to call back later in the afternoon
Quotes
If it wasn’t for me, none of y’all be here
Dale Dudley [00:08:54]
There’s obviously another realm
Daniel Gallo [00:19:51]
That’s called slide of hands. That’s called how all magic works
Dale Dudley [00:24:35]
Oh man, this is clown town
Dale Dudley [00:41:02]
Australia is Cincinnati by the bay
Daniel Gallo [00:53:51]
Part 3: Shane Mauss
Shane Mauss visits the show to discuss his new comedy album ‘My Big Break,’ which hit #1 on iTunes comedy charts. The visit devolves into a spectacularly bad Head to Head trivia segment about ‘Fonseca’ and ‘500’ that becomes comedy gold for its own awfulness. Daniel’s poorly-researched questions, confusing game mechanics, and the hosts’ mockery turn what should be routine ticket giveaways into an absurdist train wreck. Shane also shares a hilarious story about attending the failed Duck Commander Musical in Las Vegas.
Segments
- Shane Mauss Arrives [00:00:03] — Dale mock-complains about Shane’s success (number one album, healed leg injury, traveling lifestyle) while Shane discusses his sobriety journey and how Dale’s advice helped during his 111 days sober.
- My Big Break Hits #1 [00:03:04] — Shane’s comedy album ‘My Big Break’ about breaking his feet hits number one on iTunes comedy charts, beating Jim Gaffigan, Amy Schumer, and Louis C.K. The cover features an X-ray of his broken foot.
- TV Show Recommendations [00:05:00] — Discussion of Garfunkel and Oates TV show and Kimmy Schmidt. Shane calls Kimmy Schmidt perfect for watching with your wife and thoroughly enjoyable even alone.
- Duck Commander Musical Story [00:07:44] — Shane tells extended story about seeing the Duck Commander Musical in Las Vegas during its disastrous one-month run. He and his brother were the only ones laughing hysterically and bought the only two souvenir beards sold during the entire run.
- Head to Head: Fonseca Edition Begins [00:12:49] — The catastrophic Head to Head segment starts with Lisa challenging Shane on ‘Fonseca’ trivia. Daniel’s questions are immediately controversial, including whether Portugal is a ‘Latin country.’
- The Portugal Debate [00:24:00] — Daniel calls Portugal a ‘Latin country’ in a question, sparking a debate where even the contestant corrects him. The segment completely derails as Daniel defends his questionable terminology.
- Mary Fonseca Elementary Confusion [00:27:00] — Another confusing question about Mary Fonseca Elementary School in Fall River, Massachusetts tricks the contestant with misleading geographic information. The hosts criticize Daniel’s question design.
- Shane Goes 0-for-4 [00:29:00] — Shane gets all four Fonseca questions wrong, losing to Lisa who gets Young and the Restless correct and wins X Games tickets.
- Head to Head: The 500 Round [00:33:44] — Mark challenges Dale on ‘500’ trivia using over/under format. The qualifying question about ‘500 Days of Summer’ has nothing to do with the actual game mechanics, confusing everyone.
- The Red Wolf Tiebreaker [00:39:00] — After tying, a 50/50 tiebreaker question about red wolf population ends the game. Mark wins Jim Jeffries tickets. Carissa comes in to defend her wolf question.
- The Duke (Mercifully Brief) [00:41:00] — Quick John Wayne questions that go relatively smoothly compared to the chaos before.
- Daniel’s Fly-Catching Plan [00:46:00] — Daniel reveals he tried to catch flies with a bowl of Rocky Road ice cream in his garage to demonstrate his salt gun. The hosts mock him mercilessly for his complete misunderstanding of fly biology.
- Blue Bell Aisle Sadness [00:52:00] — Daniel says the ice cream aisle is ‘the saddest place in Texas’ due to Blue Bell recall, prompting Dale to point out people are dead from flooding. More fly discussion and biology lessons ensue.
- IV Hangover Hook Reveal [00:55:00] — Dale explains the hook in the studio is for hanging an IV bag – he hired a nurse to give him IV fluids on Monday after a bad Friday hangover.
Recurring Bits
- Head to Head [00:12:49] — Multiple disastrous rounds featuring ‘Fonseca’ and ‘500’ topics with confusing questions, wrong answers, and complete chaos that the hosts acknowledge is comedically bad
Guests
- Shane Mauss (comedian) [00:00:03] — Visiting to promote his #1 iTunes comedy album ‘My Big Break,’ shared Duck Commander Musical story, participated in Head to Head trivia
Callers
- Lisa [00:21:46] — Head to Head contestant for X Games tickets, Fonseca category Won X Games tickets by correctly answering Young and the Restless question after Shane went 0-for-4
- Mark [00:33:38] — Head to Head contestant for Jim Jeffries tickets, 500 category Won Jim Jeffries tickets after tiebreaker question about red wolf population
- Paul [00:55:44] — Called to say he loves the show Brief compliment, Dale thanked him and moved on quickly
- unnamed [00:55:58] — Joked about protesting vegan rights over shooting pistachios Dale said ‘always somebody trying to be funnier than we are’ and hung up
- Justin (Branson area) [00:56:17] — Recommended Presley’s Country Jubilee in Branson Shared local recommendation, Dale thanked him
Quotes
During that 111 days, I heard your voice often saying let me see your penis.
Dale Dudley [00:02:04]
She goes, is that your brother? Two happy people at Duck Commander Musical.
Shane Mauss [00:14:47]
Portugal is not Latin. It’s Portuguese.
Lisa (contestant) [00:25:12]
These are the worst questions ever written by mankind.
Dale Dudley [00:28:14]
The saddest place? We have 15 people dead in our own community.
Dale Dudley [00:52:36]