Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Monday, June 8, 2015
This Show
Part 1: Radio Problems
The show opens with multiple technical difficulties – Dale’s microphone (mic 3) is completely dead, forcing musical chairs with equipment. The hosts joke about smelling tortillas and vodka on their windscreens and microphones. After sorting out the technical problems, Dale teases a major story coming in the 7 o’clock hour about ‘the worst 30-45 minutes of my entire life’ that happened over the weekend, while also discussing RV camping mishaps, his new house, water softeners, and various weekend misadventures. New intern Connor from Brown University is introduced and questioned by the hosts.
Segments
- Technical Difficulties Opening [00:00:16] — The show opens with Dale discovering his microphone (mic 3) is completely dead. Musical chairs ensue as hosts swap microphones, with jokes about smelling tortillas and cigarettes on the windscreens.
- Dale Teases Major Weekend Story [00:04:44] — Dale promises to tell a story in the 7 o’clock hour about ‘the scariest 30 to 45 minutes of my entire life’ that happened yesterday, saying it was incredibly emotional and involved lessons learned about his family.
- Film Festival Discussion [00:05:45] — Brief mention of the upcoming film festival, with discussion about potentially extending the submission deadline past June 12th since the crew won’t be watching entries over the weekend anymore.
- RV Camping and Lake Safety Paranoia [00:09:06] — Dale recounts being ‘the party pooper’ at a friend’s RV camping trip because he was paranoid about his son being on a raft in a lake with brambles and weeds just below the water. Tells story about finding a drowned three-year-old in a pond when he was 11 in Houston.
- Dale Watson Kills Dale Dudley on Air [00:12:58] — Dale mentions that musician Dale Watson accidentally called him ‘Dale Dudley’ (the trucker singer) on Bob Cole’s show on KOKE-FM on Friday, essentially ‘killing him off’ – and only one listener called to mention it.
- X Games Ticket Mix-up [00:14:28] — Bob complains his wife is upset they didn’t take the kids to X Games, but he never received the free tickets despite asking through proper channels. Dale says he could have just asked Sherrilyn directly.
- New Intern Connor from Brown University [00:16:26] — Connor, an Ivy League student majoring in political science at Brown University, is brought into the studio. The hosts are impressed he’s their first Ivy League intern and quiz him about his goals (Foreign Service/State Department), campus political correctness, and life at Brown.
- John Lowry’s Epic Firing Story [00:23:00] — Discussion of former intern John Lowry getting fired from KLBJ-AM after he started playing laughter sound effects over Sergeant Sam during an anti-gay rant, then ‘pulled an Empire Records’ and kept doing it until Mark Caesar fired him mid-show.
- Carissa’s Sister Prank Attempt [00:26:52] — Dale calls out the crew for trying to prank him on Friday by bringing in Carissa’s attractive sister with a fake name to see if he would leer at her. Dale insists he’s ‘too far in my career for practical jokes.’
- Poo on Your Toothbrush Study [00:29:02] — Dale shares a study from Quinnipiac University finding that at least 60% of toothbrushes in communal bathrooms are contaminated with fecal matter, regardless of storage methods.
- Moving Box Hoarding and Costco Anxiety [00:30:23] — Dale discusses his inability to throw away old toiletries (seven bottles of shaving cream, foot powder, Selsun Blue, brown hair rinse) and his mounting anxiety over spending $500 days at Costco while settling into the new house.
- Fish Tape Confusion [00:35:46] — Dale quizzes the cast about ‘fish tape’ – the tool used to pull cables through walls or conduits. The hosts incorrectly guess it’s related to fly tape or duct tape before Dale explains its actual use for home theater installation.
- Bathtub Periscope and New Kids on the Block Troll [00:38:20] — Discussion of Dale’s Periscope video showing him and his wife in the bathtub, which attracted a troll who accused her of being ‘just with him for his money.’ The troll’s Twitter account is dedicated entirely to New Kids on the Block fandom.
- Water Softener Revelation [00:40:47] — Dale enthusiastically endorses water softeners after getting one installed, saying it changed his life – no more white marks on glass shower doors, better-tasting water, cleaner hair that dries faster.
- Matt’s ‘Tumped Over’ and Yellow Jacket Discoveries [00:41:39] — Matt shares he learned this weekend that ‘tumped over’ isn’t a real word (it’s a Texas colloquialism) and that he never realized yellow jackets build nests in trees before houses existed. He discovered this after cutting down a tree with a chainsaw and unleashing hundreds of angry yellow jackets.
- Exterminator Kills Daddy Long Legs [00:44:53] — Dale feels terrible about the exterminator killing hundreds of daddy long legs spiders he loved, though the visit also revealed a large scorpion hiding in the ceiling corner.
Guests
- Connor (other) [00:16:26] — New intern from Brown University studying political science, wants to work for State Department
Quotes
I actually had the scariest 30 to 45 minutes of my entire life happen yesterday
Dale Dudley [00:04:54]
This might be the first Ivy league intern we’ve ever had
Dale Dudley [00:17:37]
I quit this bitch
Dale Dudley [00:24:45]
All the hype about water softeners is absolutely true. It will change your life
Dale Dudley [00:40:51]
Part 2: Dale’s Worst Moment
Dale recounts the terrifying 30 minutes when he lost his daughter Allison in their new house, culminating in police finding her hiding under the covers of her bed. The crew then discusses several viral police videos from the weekend, including APD officers on Sixth Street, the McKinney pool party incident, and a sovereign citizen traffic stop. Dale also mentions winning a Houston Press Club award for his bicycle theft column in Austin Monthly.
Segments
- Show Open and Cruise Announcement [00:00:00] — Dale opens discussing the 7-11 film festival being sold out and the upcoming cruise, mentioning they’re running out of cabins.
- Dale’s Worst Moment – Daughter Goes Missing [00:01:11] — Dale begins telling the story of his daughter Allison going missing in their new house, describing the 30 minutes of terror before police found her hiding under bed covers.
- APD Sixth Street Video Discussion [00:21:21] — The crew watches and discusses viral video of APD mounted police and pepper spray incident on Sixth Street during closing time.
- McKinney Pool Party Incident [00:31:03] — Discussion of the McKinney police officer who threw a 15-year-old girl to the ground and pulled his gun at a pool party, including a Facebook post from a neighborhood resident providing context.
- Sovereign Citizen Traffic Stop [00:38:49] — The crew watches an Addison police officer dealing with a sovereign citizen who refuses to provide ID, insisting speeding is not illegal, culminating in the officer breaking the window.
- American Pharaoh Triple Crown [00:47:01] — Brief discussion of American Pharaoh winning the Triple Crown for the first time in 37 years, including the name being misspelled.
- Hutto HOA Flood Debris Story [00:53:42] — Discussion of a Hutto homeowner who received an HOA violation notice for debris from Memorial Day flooding.
- Dale’s Houston Press Club Award [00:57:07] — Dale mentions winning first place in the F2 magazine column category from the Houston Press Club for his bicycle theft story.
Callers
- John [00:29:53] — Called about KVUE news accidentally showing someone urinating during Waco coverage Dale asks for the link and moves on to discuss other news videos
Text Line
- [00:03:36] Dale’s wife texted that she accidentally took his keys — read by Dale Dudley This was part of the setup for the story about his daughter going missing – he had to search for spare keys
Quotes
My daughter was missing.
Dale Dudley [00:06:49]
I will never go back on the air again if I lose a child.
Dale Dudley [00:10:36]
I’ve got her, she’s in the house
Unknown [00:11:36]
I’m not mad at you. I love you so much, but you scared me so bad.
Dale Dudley [00:12:35]
Part 3: Videos and More
The final segment of the June 8, 2015 show features the hosts watching and reacting to various viral videos, including an intense arm-wrestling woman, a drunk tuber falling off a dock, poltergeist footage, and father-scaring pranks. They also interact with a listener via Periscope, discuss Jade Helm conspiracy theories, explore Joshua Feuerstein’s videos about evolution and closed Walmarts, debate FDA approval of female Viagra, and discuss Rick Perry’s contradictory statements about bank regulations. Daniel reveals he got a new car lease, and there’s ongoing workplace banter about job security and promotions.
Segments
- Cheech and Chong promo and Periscope interaction [00:00:02] — Dale promotes Cheech and Chong tickets and the hosts interact with a listener named Jamie who is driving, creating a delayed audio feedback loop as she tunes in to the station.
- Cave biker bathroom incident video [00:08:41] — The hosts discuss a video of a biker urinating on live television during a Cave news broadcast, expressing disappointment they don’t have the apology portion.
- Arm wrestling woman video [00:09:32] — The crew watches and reacts to intense footage of a female arm wrestler making extreme facial expressions and screaming during competition, debating whether she’s on drugs or just intensely competitive.
- Drunk tuber falling video [00:14:19] — They watch video of an intoxicated woman getting off a tube at someone’s private dock, being told to leave, then falling and getting trapped under a swimming barge.
- Poltergeist kitchen video [00:17:41] — Dale shows footage purporting to show poltergeist activity in a kitchen with objects flying around. The crew debates whether it’s real or rigged with fishing line.
- Dad-scaring prank compilation [00:19:54] — The hosts watch a compilation of a British/Irish man repeatedly scaring his father and filming his reactions.
- Film festival announcement and Chuy’s Vegas trip [00:21:00] — Dale announces the film festival deadline and discusses a mysterious text from CJ about Chuy ‘going full Daniel’ – revealing Chuy secretly drove through Denver (presumably for weed) on his way to surprise the Vegas group.
- Daniel’s new car lease [00:22:47] — Daniel reveals he got a new 2015 Nissan Altima SV lease from Round Rock Nissan, the same model he had before. Dale and others question why he didn’t get something different.
- Jade Helm Walmart conspiracy video [00:32:25] — The hosts watch Joshua Feuerstein’s video claiming closed Walmarts in Texas are being used for Jade Helm military operations, with Feuerstein pointing to police guarding an empty Midland Walmart as ‘proof.’
- Joshua Feuerstein evolution video [00:36:44] — They watch another Feuerstein video attempting to debunk evolution using ‘the law of angular momentum’ and urging people to ‘look at Uranus,’ with the hosts debating whether he’s a parody or serious.
- Female Viagra approval discussion [00:40:12] — Dale discusses FDA approval of Flibanserin (female Viagra) for treating low libido in premenopausal women. Carissa explains it works mentally rather than physically, more like an antidepressant.
- Cat parasite and mental illness [00:44:33] — Dale tells caller Kathy about Toxoplasma gondii, a cat-carried parasite linked to schizophrenia and other mental disorders, continuing his anti-cat campaign.
- Taiwan alien worm video [00:48:54] — The crew watches disturbing footage of a green worm-like creature with a pink protruding tongue found by a fisherman in Taiwan, speculating about what it could be.
- Rick Perry on bank regulation [00:51:19] — They analyze a Face the Nation interview where Rick Perry contradicts himself by criticizing Dodd-Frank banking regulations while simultaneously promising to regulate Wall Street if elected president.
- Gross equals 144 trivia [00:52:47] — Dale quizzes the crew on how many items are in a ‘gross’ (144, or a dozen dozen), which he learned buying bottle rockets as a kid. Only Carissa gets it right after being told it’s 12 times 12.
- Cheech and Chong ticket giveaway close [00:58:27] — Dale wraps up with final instructions to text BONG to win Cheech and Chong tickets for the Cedar Park Center show on June 24th.
Callers
- Kathy (regular) [00:44:43] — Suggested calling the female Viagra ‘Nobiturin’ and discussed the cat parasite story Brief conversation about cats and parasites; Dale had saved a story specifically for her as a known cat owner
Text Line
- [00:21:20] CJ texted Dale saying ‘Chuy went full Daniel’ and asked him not to mention it on air — read by Dale Dudley Dale ignored the request and discussed it anyway, leading to the revelation that Chuy drove through Denver (presumably for marijuana) on his way to surprise the Vegas group
Quotes
My three and a half year old daughter went missing for 35-40 minutes. Most terrifying time of my life.
Dale Dudley [00:00:22]
When the obvious things are around you, you don’t necessarily see people.
Bob Fonseca [00:01:44]
Start thinking, people. What is going on? Why would they close down for plumbing problems, all five of them?
Joshua Feuerstein (video) [00:32:56]
I challenge today every atheist to go and Google Uranus. Take a look at Uranus.
Joshua Feuerstein (video) [00:37:19]
If I’m not in the mood to have sex, it’s not that my vagina is not dripping.
Carissa Jade [00:43:24]