Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Thursday, August 27, 2015
This Show
Part 1: What Men Want
Dale discusses his impending firing from Uber for inactivity and the show’s contract situation with the station. The hosts debate a scientific study about physical attractiveness and evolutionary fitness, with particular focus on how men and women perceive health and desirability differently. The discussion veers into male-female attraction dynamics, body image, and societal beauty standards.
Segments
- Show open and Daniel’s passport crisis [00:00:04] — Opening credits and discussion about Daniel finding his wife’s passport in a winter coat pocket after yesterday’s drama.
- Office gossip and contract talk [00:03:01] — Dale mentions flowing office gossip and reveals the station has offered to extend their contract option through May 2017.
- Daniel’s vacation and podcast planning [00:08:54] — Discussion about Daniel taking a long vacation to Canada with Chewie, and concern about podcast ticket sales.
- Dale’s Uber crisis [00:11:53] — Dale reveals Uber is about to fire him for not taking rides in a month, discusses his existential crisis over job security that led him to drive Uber.
- Uber and Lyft reducing drunk driving [00:19:21] — Temple University research shows rideshare services prevent hundreds of drunk driving deaths annually, reducing deaths by 5.6% in California.
- Caller about stem cell therapy [00:24:20] — Kathy Daniel calls about stem cell injections for Dale’s neck problems, relating to a new show sponsor.
- What men want: evolutionary attractiveness [00:27:37] — Discussion of Aberdeen University study on physical attractiveness based on evolution and perceived health, including hip-to-waist ratios and fitness indicators.
Callers
- Kathy Daniel (regular) [00:24:20] — Stem cell injections for Dale’s neck problems and degenerative disc disease Dale expressed interest but moved on quickly, concerned about sounding too much like ‘Sergeant Sam’ with medical ailments
Quotes
Matt works some voodoo with those guys because he’s smarter than we are
Bob Fonseca [00:15:50]
Who’s ever called a cab company and they weren’t there yet?
Dale Dudley [00:20:00]
I offer free water on my rides. I offer amenities. I offer free vodka.
Dale Dudley [00:22:03]
Part 2: Politics and Testicals
Dale, Bob, Matt, and Carissa discuss fantasy football’s workplace impact, Josh Duggar’s latest scandals including allegations from a porn star, Ashley Madison data revealing almost no real women users, and Noel Biderman possibly being a user of his own cheating site. The conversation shifts to media coverage of mass shootings, with Austin Police Chief Art Acevedo calling in to discuss their position paper asking media to stop glorifying shooters. The show wraps with local Austin topics including a proposed compost bin program, a UT student’s lawsuit over losing a testicle after misdiagnosis, and Kung Fu Saloon’s racism settlement with the Justice Department.
Segments
- Fantasy Football Discussion [00:00:01] — Dale discusses fantasy football costing employers $16 billion in lost productivity. Talk of DraftKings, cheat sheets, and the upcoming draft.
- Josh Duggar Latest Scandal [00:04:43] — Porn star Danica Dillon alleges Josh Duggar paid her for rough sex during his wife’s pregnancy. Discussion of his hypocrisy given his family values platform.
- Ashley Madison Data Analysis [00:12:15] — Analysis reveals almost no real women ever used Ashley Madison – possibly only 12,000 active female users out of millions of profiles. Many were fake profiles created by employees.
- Noel Biderman’s Affairs [00:17:22] — Ashley Madison founder Noel Biderman’s emails reveal he had multiple affairs despite claiming to tell his wife before using the site. Discussion of him reneging on promised contest money.
- Virginia Shooting Media Coverage [00:24:03] — Dale criticizes people sharing the video of the reporter being killed. Discussion of how media coverage inspires copycat killers.
- Chief Art Acevedo Calls In [00:32:20] — Austin Police Chief Art Acevedo calls from Washington DC to discuss their position paper asking media to stop naming mass shooters and giving them fame.
- UT Student Loses Testicle [00:35:44] — Discussion of lawsuit where MedSpring doctor allegedly told student he had ‘blue balls’ when he actually had testicular torsion. Debate about whether blue balls is real.
- Composting Bin Proposal [00:43:03] — Austin considering charging residents $50/year for green organics collection bin. Council members express doubt about the program.
- Kung Fu Saloon Racism Settlement [00:48:04] — Federal settlement reveals Kung Fu Saloon trained employees to limit ‘ghetto sounding blacks’ and ‘thick accented Asian customers.’ Discussion of their previous assault incident.
Guests
- Art Acevedo (other) [00:32:20] — Austin Police Chief called in from Washington DC about media coverage of mass shootings
Callers
- unnamed [00:39:28] — claimed to be a doctor who had blue balls, later admitted he was not a doctor but went to Texas A&M Dale dismissed him as a ‘goofball’ after he admitted making things up
Quotes
every one of those guys… it’s a doodoo salesman with a mouthful of samples
Dale Dudley [00:04:48]
sir, once and for all, have you no shame?
Dale Dudley [00:29:03]
Get out of my country. I’m a US citizen too. Well, whatever.
Donald Trump security [00:30:05]
Part 3: What did you break
The segment centers on a caller-driven discussion about ‘what did you break that wasn’t yours.’ Dale opens with a story about accidentally breaking his wife’s deceased grandmother’s candy dish during an argument. Callers share stories ranging from childhood accidents to adult mishaps, including broken valuables, crashed cars, and even boiled fish. The conversation veers into gross-out territory with extended discussion of tonsilliths (throat cheese), making Carissa visibly nauseous. The show wraps with brief discussions of Glenn Beck’s apocalyptic warnings, a Torchy’s Tacos viral video, and Country Crock’s recipe disaster.
Segments
- Halloween Party Planning [00:00:01] — Dale asks about their Halloween party date (October 24th) and discusses how small businesses sponsor prize money for the event in exchange for plugs.
- Breaking Things – Dale’s Meemaw Story [00:00:46] — Dale shares his story of accidentally breaking his wife’s deceased grandmother’s prized candy dish during an argument just weeks after her death. He was able to glue it back together.
- Angel – Mom’s Water Pipe [00:02:01] — Caller Angel shares that at age 4 or 5, she broke her mom’s bong (water pipe), leading to discussion about damaged childhoods among listeners.
- Mike – Shoe Shelf Revenge [00:03:05] — Mike broke his girlfriend’s shoe shelf in retaliation for her turning off his radio alarm set to 93.7. Discussion of no-shoes-in-house families.
- Nathan – Ornamental Crown Distraction [00:04:59] — Former intern Nathan called to say he broke part of his uncle’s ornamental shelf piece, then faked a skateboarding injury to distract from the damage.
- Deborah – Husband’s Phone in the Fireplace [00:09:11] — Deborah intentionally threw her husband’s phone into the fireplace on New Year’s because it had ‘so much porn on it.’ He still doesn’t know.
- Matt – Aunt’s Wedding Day Car Wreck [00:10:21] — Caller Matt wrecked his aunt’s car on her wedding day while learning to drive stick, blamed it on a deer, and his family still reminds him about it at every reunion.
- Randy – Dropped Grammy’s Urn [00:11:21] — Randy dropped and broke his grandmother’s urn, spilling ashes everywhere. He slipped and fell in them, then had to scoop them up by hand.
- Bob’s Fish Tank Disaster [00:12:51] — Bob shares his story of accidentally boiling his father’s boss’s expensive saltwater fish by turning up what he thought was a light but was actually the heater. The boss’s kids took the beating.
- Clay – Ran Over Dad’s Cat [00:14:55] — Clay ran over his dad’s prize cat while leaving for his high school pep rally. The vet covered for him by saying the cat died from a tumor, but Clay eventually confessed years later.
- Jason – Backed Into Vintage Porsche [00:17:13] — Jason backed his dad’s truck into a vintage Porsche and got kicked off the insurance.
- Brian – Smashed Every Window [00:20:34] — At age 8, Brian and his neighbor threw rocks and smashed every window in their friend’s house because it made a ‘really cool noise.’ They got caught and it would have been ‘a beating’ in Dale’s childhood.
- Tonsilliths Discussion Begins [00:22:32] — Dale has something weird in his throat, leading to extended gross discussion of tonsilliths (throat cheese) that makes Carissa extremely nauseous. Dale and Bob describe crushing them and smelling them.
- Carissa’s Toe and More Gross Talk [00:28:50] — Bob reveals he saw Carissa picking at her toenails. She shows her foot with peeling skin, continuing the gross-out segment. Extended discussion of body horror topics.
- High-Speed Train Dallas-Houston [00:36:18] — Discussion of proposed bullet train from Dallas to Houston that would make the trip in 90 minutes, running along utility corridors. Austin gets left out with only the slow train to Leander.
- Glenn Beck’s End Times Warnings [00:39:19] — Dale plays clips of Glenn Beck claiming God is speaking to him, warning that the recent shooting is the ‘beginning of sorrows’ and people need guns, God, and money. Dale mocks Beck for continuing to sell products while predicting the apocalypse.
- Torchy’s Ghost Pepper Promo [00:46:20] — Discussion and video of improv group doing a viral promo for Torchy’s Tacos’ ghost pepper taco, with ‘Roy Danger’ character causing chaos. Dale questions the wisdom given recent shootings.
- Josh Duggar to Rehab [00:50:29] — Brief discussion of Josh Duggar going to rehab for his scandals, with Bob and Dale joking about rehab as a ‘get out of jail free card’ and blaming Satan.
- Country Crock Recipe Disaster [00:52:49] — Country Crock changed their margarine recipe to be healthier and customers are revolting online, saying it smells and tastes like spoiled food. One-star reviews everywhere.
Callers
- Angel [00:02:01] — Broke her mom’s water pipe (bong) at age 4 or 5 Led to discussion about damaged childhoods and parents involving kids in drug use
- Mike [00:03:05] — Broke girlfriend’s shoe shelf in revenge for her turning off his radio alarm Sparked discussion about no-shoes-in-house families
- Nathan (former intern) (regular) [00:04:59] — Broke uncle’s ornamental shelf piece, faked skateboard injury as distraction Hosts appreciated the cleverness of the distraction tactic
- Deborah [00:09:11] — Intentionally threw husband’s phone in fireplace on New Year’s because of porn Became an example of deliberate destruction vs accidents; hosts fascinated that husband still doesn’t know
- Matt [00:10:21] — Wrecked aunt’s car on her wedding day while learning stick shift Family still reminds him at every reunion; became example of lies that haunt you
- Randy [00:11:21] — Dropped and shattered his grandmother’s urn, spilling ashes everywhere Led to discussion about cremains and whether you really get your own pet/person back
- Clay [00:14:55] — Ran over his dad’s prize cat, vet covered for him, confessed years later Example of ‘always better to confess years later’
- Jason [00:17:13] — Backed dad’s truck into a vintage Porsche with special insurance Got kicked off insurance; led to Ferris Bueller reference from Dale
- Brian [00:20:34] — At age 8, he and neighbor smashed every window in friend’s house with rocks because it made cool noise Dale said this would have earned a beating; became example of kid logic gone wrong
Quotes
I broke Meemaw’s candy dish literally three weeks after she died.
Dale Dudley [00:06:57]
I cooked thousands of dollars worth of somebody else’s fish.
Bob Fonseca [00:12:16]
The minute somebody tells you they’ve talked to God, that’s the sign they’re a liar.
Dale Dudley [00:42:50]
Honey, I accidentally put on Satan’s gloves.
Bob Fonseca [00:51:11]