Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Tuesday, December 13, 2016
This Show
Part 1: Dudley Party Aftermath
Dale broadcasts from home for the first time using remote equipment, experiencing technical difficulties with his desk setup and microphone positioning. The hosts discuss ancestry research, with Dale deeply engaged in tracing his wife’s family tree and contemplating uploading DNA data to check for disease markers. The conversation touches on Dale’s reluctance to host his annual holiday party and his nervousness about broadcasting from home, culminating in a teaser about his weekend that involves his dog.
Segments
- Show Open and Matt’s Late Arrival [00:00:18] — Bob does the intro while waiting for Matt to arrive. Dale is dealing with printer issues involving yellow toner.
- Party Planning Stress [00:02:33] — Dale expresses reluctance about planning his annual holiday party and the difficulties of figuring out invites and e-vite logistics.
- Broadcasting from Home Aftermath [00:04:33] — Dale describes his first experience broadcasting from home the previous day, detailing technical challenges with microphone setup, desk chair issues, and equipment problems.
- Ancestry Research Deep Dive [00:11:11] — Dale discusses his obsession with researching his wife’s family tree on Ancestry.com, finding stories about eleven unmarried sisters in Hondo and death certificates from the early 1900s.
- DNA Markers Discussion [00:16:49] — The hosts debate whether to upload DNA data to a third-party site that identifies genetic markers for diseases. Bob is hesitant; Dale is curious despite knowing the results might be depressing.
- Ancestry Challenges with Mexican Records [00:21:19] — Gus calls in to discuss difficulties tracing Mexican ancestry. Carissa explains issues with women’s records and name changes in Mexico.
- Remote Setup Tour [00:24:22] — Dale shows a Facebook Live video of his home broadcasting setup, revealing the cramped workspace, equipment placement, and his plans to improve the room with better desks and sound baffling.
- Rush Limbaugh Critique [00:40:02] — Dale expresses frustration with Rush Limbaugh calling Russian election interference ‘fake news’ despite 17 intelligence agencies confirming it.
- Weekend Story Teaser [00:43:45] — Dale sets up a story about his dog and why he doesn’t want to host a party at his house, but delays it until after the break.
Guests
- Gus (caller) (caller) [00:21:15] — Called to discuss difficulties with ancestry research on Mexican family lines
Callers
- Gus [00:21:15] — Difficulties tracing Mexican ancestry on Ancestry.com Led to a discussion about record-keeping challenges for Mexican-Americans and women in genealogical research
Quotes
The one thing you’re reminded of is everyone dies
Dale Dudley [00:12:24]
Your body’s trying to kill you once you turn 30
Bob Fonseca [00:17:41]
We’re putting a guy on for three hours who’s telling old people the Emperor has beautiful new clothes
Dale Dudley [00:40:22]
Part 2: Fast food Nation and Crying Matt
The show opens with Dale announcing plans to do DNA testing and discussing a preacher who yells at kids about Santa. The hosts attempt to make Matt Bearden cry using an emotional video about a dying child and Santa, but fail. The show devolves into chaos when Daniel appears to have a tonsil stone issue mid-broadcast, triggering extended discussion of throat cheese, tonsiliths, and bodily fluids. Dale tells stories about his dogs, particularly Cooper eating his own feces, leading to discussion of pineapple as a deterrent. The segment includes animal videos, a UFO crossing the moon mention, and debate over fast food preferences. Daniel claims he didn’t talk until age five because he ‘had nothing to say,’ prompting mockery.
Segments
- Show Opening – DNA Testing and Santa Preacher [00:00:00] — Dale discusses plans to test DNA for five dollars and updates on the preacher who yells at kids about Santa, who allegedly was assaulted after the incident.
- Make Matt Cry 2017 [00:02:10] — Dale announces a new bit for 2017: trying to make Matt Bearden cry every day, after acknowledging that making Carissa cry had become too easy.
- Dying Child Santa Story [00:04:56] — The hosts play a video of a Santa describing being with a terminally ill child who died in his arms. Matt remains unmoved and questions the authenticity of the story.
- Rick Perry Appointed to Department of Energy [00:08:55] — Brief discussion of Rick Perry being appointed to head the Department of Energy, the agency he couldn’t remember wanting to eliminate during his ‘oops’ moment.
- Radio Consultant Advice and Show Philosophy [00:10:05] — Dale mocks advice from a consultant to ‘talk to one person’ and not include Chuy, explaining he prefers chaos and putting on a play where everything goes wrong.
- Deer Feeder Confusion Call [00:11:05] — Caller Stacey misunderstands a deer feeder conversation from earlier, demonstrating the show’s recurring problem with callers not listening carefully.
- Dylan the Intern Problems [00:12:34] — Dale criticizes Dylan for putting through calls about topics the show has moved on from, nearly costing him his intern completion.
- Intern Month Test [00:14:16] — Dale tests Dylan on knowing which number corresponds to which month, part of ongoing intern competency evaluation.
- Deb Calls About Crying [00:15:49] — Caller Deb says the Santa story made her cry while driving, but Dale expresses skepticism about the story’s authenticity due to Matt’s influence.
- Jim’s Harmonizer Call [00:18:52] — Brief call from Jim with audio issues, making a joke correction for Matt about a location.
- Dale’s House and Tesla Discussion [00:19:02] — Dale discusses plans for his house, a party, and realizes he can’t have nice things, including a Tesla.
- Amanda and the Fire Guy Story [00:21:43] — Dale begins telling stories about his wife Amanda’s previous relationship, including embarrassing anecdotes about her ex-boyfriend.
- Cooper the Idiot Dog [00:23:16] — Dale describes Cooper, one of his wife’s dogs, who eats other dogs’ feces and his own, leading to constant household problems.
- Saturday Morning Dog Poop Incident [00:28:04] — Dale recounts catching Cooper eating his own feces on the white Ikea rug on Saturday morning, ruining his good mood.
- Whole Foods Pet Store Embarrassment [00:29:00] — Dale describes his shame trying to find anti-coprophagia products at an upscale pet store, eventually being told to feed the dog pineapples.
- Pineapple Physics Confusion [00:31:07] — Matt Bearden appears to suggest that if a dog ate a whole pineapple with the spiky exterior, it would go in but not come out, creating extended confusion and laughter.
- Daniel’s Tonsil Stone Crisis [00:32:23] — Daniel begins having throat issues live on air, leading to extended discussion of tonsiliths (tonsil stones) and their horrific smell.
- Throat Cheese Extended Discussion [00:34:51] — The show devolves into graphic discussion of tonsil stones, their smell, and appearance, with Daniel trying to cough one up on air.
- Chain Vomiting Story [00:35:05] — Dale recalls a night in Lubbock when one person throwing up in a car triggered everyone else to vomit in a chain reaction.
- Tonsil Stone Videos [00:36:28] — The hosts watch and describe graphic tonsil stone extraction videos, with Carissa becoming increasingly nauseous.
- Dale’s Dental Horror Story [00:37:01] — Dale tells story from age 14 about his brother-in-law lancing a homeless man’s massive abscess at Parkland Hospital, with graphic detail about the discharge.
- Callers React to Gross Segment [00:46:41] — Multiple callers including Ray and Gene call to comment on the disgusting segment, with Gene noting people were gagging while driving.
- Fast Food Quiz Attempt [00:48:01] — The hosts try a BuzzFeed quiz that claims to guess your height and weight based on fast food preferences, but Daniel can’t choose definitive answers.
- McDonald’s Mittens Cup Controversy [00:53:47] — Brief discussion of McDonald’s holiday cup that looks like mittens but some people see as inappropriate imagery.
- Animal Cavalcade – Dog GoPro Video [00:55:16] — The hosts watch a GoPro video from a dog’s perspective running to the beach, which Dale had shown before two years ago.
- Bear Cube in Japan/China [00:57:06] — Discussion of a tourist attraction where people get in a cube and are placed in front of a grizzly bear, with video of a screaming woman.
- Lion and Baby Video [00:58:01] — Video of parents who dressed their toddler as a lion and took them to the zoo, with lions reacting to the baby through the glass.
- Monkeys Can Talk Study [00:59:18] — Scientists reveal monkeys have the physical capacity to talk but lack the brain development, with simulated audio of what monkey speech would sound like.
- Daniel Didn’t Talk Until Five [01:00:54] — Daniel claims he didn’t speak until age five because he ‘had nothing to say,’ leading to mockery and requests to test his intelligence in 2017.
Recurring Bits
- Fast Food Fanatic [00:48:01] — Attempted to do a BuzzFeed fast food quiz that claims to guess height and weight, but Daniel couldn’t pick definitive answers between options
- Animal Cavalcade [00:55:16] — Showed dog GoPro video, bear cube footage from Asia, and lion reacting to baby dressed as lion cub
Callers
- Stacey [00:11:05] — Called about deer feeders being illegal in the city, but had misheard the earlier conversation Got mocked for not listening properly and calling about a topic they’d moved on from. Used as example of listeners not paying attention.
- Deb [00:15:49] — Called to say the dying child Santa story made her cry while driving Dale and Matt expressed skepticism about the story’s authenticity, discussing how people don’t typically die the way portrayed in the video
- Jim [00:18:02] — Called to correct Matt about a Mr. Gatti’s location Brief call noted for Jim’s phone harmonizer effect on his voice, making him sound odd
- Kathy [00:42:50] — Called about gifts she gave the show and to comment that Bob needs his hazmat kit after the gross segment Brief pleasant call, Dale admitted he gave the toy she sent to Blue Santa
- Ray [00:46:41] — Called to say the gross tonsil stone segment was ‘the best radio’ and made him and other drivers gag Praised the segment as authentic, unplanned great radio despite being disgusting
- Gene [00:47:04] — Called while driving to say he and the driver next to him were both gagging from the gross segment Led to discussion about how the segment probably made people change the channel, but they kept going because they’re not in ratings
- Josh [00:42:11] — Called to share a story about chain-reaction vomiting in Lubbock Brief story about power drinking leading to everyone in a car throwing up, with a Lubbock cop just checking if they needed help
Quotes
In 2017 we’re going to try every day to make Matt cry
Dale Dudley [00:02:32]
The crying mechanism was turned off for me as a kid
Matt Bearden [00:04:04]
I love the chaos. That’s why I haven’t fired Carissa
Dale Dudley [00:10:48]
Everyone is a liar
Matt Bearden [00:16:42]
You shouldn’t have to live where you lock the dog in the bathroom
Dale Dudley [00:25:00]
I caught him in the middle of snacking on his own poo
Dale Dudley [00:29:35]
I had nothing to say until I was five years old
Daniel Gallo [01:00:54]