Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Tuesday, January 10, 2017
This Show
Part 1: Speed limits and Body Parts
Dale discusses his changed morning routine and traffic frustrations, particularly slow drivers in the left lane. The segment veers into Daniel awkwardly discussing ‘doing French’ with his niece, leading to extended innuendo-laden banter. Dale mentions his stalker-fan and his home studio soundproofing project. Carissa reveals she went to urgent care for stomach pain but refuses to take the prescribed painkillers or see a specialist, frustrating the entire cast. Brief discussions of a Korean reading lesson, a fallen sequoia tree, and CES gadgets are scattered throughout.
Segments
- Show open and intro [00:00:06] — Standard show introduction with cast credits, station information, and mention of their new Vizio smart TV in-studio.
- Dale’s morning routine change [00:01:23] — Dale discusses changing his morning prep routine, leaving later, and encountering much heavier traffic at 5:30am versus his usual 4:30am departure.
- Speed limit rant [00:04:20] — Dale complains about slow drivers blocking the left lane, suggesting speed limits should be suggestions and drivers should go at least 10 over. Discussion of Texas DOT asking for funny reader board suggestions.
- Dale’s stalker fan [00:10:46] — Dale mentions a female fan who got a tattoo of his heartbeat and posted about him prepping at home at 5:30am, calling her a stalker in jest.
- Soundproofing Dale’s office [00:11:48] — Dale and his girlfriend installed Auralex sound tiles in his home office using T-pins to deaden sound for remote broadcasts.
- Daniel’s French lesson disaster [00:13:36] — Daniel mentions he was ‘doing French with my five-year-old niece’ and admits to ‘doing Greek’ with his nephew, not understanding the sexual innuendo the cast is making. Extended riffing on French kissing and Greek terminology.
- Sequoia tunnel tree falls [00:15:56] — Discussion of the Pioneer Cabin Tree in California that you could drive through falling during a storm, with Dale noting they doomed it when they cut the tunnel.
- Tree mourning bit [00:17:55] — Mock emotional tribute to the fallen tree with fake crying, segueing into discussion of Meryl Streep’s Golden Globes speech and Trump mocking a disabled reporter.
- Korean reading lesson [00:19:35] — Dale plays a video teaching how to read Korean in five minutes by associating characters with images. They decode ‘banana’ and ‘Samsung’ but don’t complete the lesson.
- Bob’s house visit [00:29:42] — Dale mentions driving by Bob’s house unannounced, noting the asbestos shingles and discussing home construction. Bob is mid-landscaping renovation and embarrassed by the condition.
- CES personal drone [00:33:36] — Brief discussion of the Ehang 184 Quadrocopter personal drone shown at CES, which can carry one person up to 220 pounds and travel 30-40 miles on a charge.
- Carissa’s urgent care visit [00:36:46] — Carissa reveals she went to urgent care at 10pm for intense stomach/back pain, got prescribed painkillers but refuses to pick them up. Cast frustrated she won’t see a gastroenterologist despite ongoing issues.
- Food digestion argument [00:43:00] — Carissa claims her body doesn’t digest food properly and salad stays in her stomach for days. Dale offers $1,000 if she can prove it by eating salad and throwing it up two days later.
Quotes
I think it should be state law that you must drive at least 10 miles over the speed limit.
Dale Dudley [00:05:35]
She could have done so much better. Never thought I would ever have that in my life.
Dale Dudley [00:11:00]
I was doing French with my five-year-old niece.
Daniel Gallo [00:23:05]
Jubilation Tee Cornhole.
Dale Dudley [00:24:15]
I can eat a salad and two days later throw up and that salad is still fully in my body.
Carissa Jade [00:43:34]
Part 2: Bath Towels are Gross
This part of the show covers wide-ranging topics from bath towel hygiene (prompted by an article recommending 3 uses max) to Carissa’s ongoing health issues involving carrots and gallbladder pain. Dale rants extensively about the Texas Legislature convening, particularly targeting Lt. Governor Dan Patrick’s bathroom bill push and Rep. Matt Krause’s proposal to end no-fault divorces. Pop Cop delivers celebrity news, and the hosts trade song puns about Foreigner and Cheap Trick tickets they’re giving away.
Segments
- Dudley and Bob Comedy Cruise Promo [00:00:00] — Dale promotes the upcoming comedy cruise featuring Jimmy Roulette, Mike McCray, and Matt Bearden, encouraging listeners to call Don to book.
- Pop Cop [00:00:45] — Matt performs Pop Cop bit with celebrity news jokes about Drake, Netflix, Pat Benatar, Ed Sheeran, the Pope allowing breastfeeding, Biden vs Trump, and other topics.
- Survival Challenge Winner Revealed [00:06:37] — Dale offers U2 tickets to first caller who can correctly identify who won the survival challenge and who died. A Sideshow subscriber immediately wins by knowing Matt won and Daniel died.
- Appliance Guy Steve Calls [00:09:26] — Caller Steve offers to help Dale with his leaking washer issue; Dale takes his number for later follow-up.
- Survival Challenge Debrief [00:13:17] — Hosts discuss the survival challenge with Chris Hyde, debating the deadfall trap, navigation by stars, and edible plants. Daniel’s answers would have killed him by eating poisonous plants.
- Game Talk and Pie Face [00:14:11] — Brief discussion of modern board games including Pie Face and balloon-popping games that Dale can’t play due to anxiety.
- Carissa’s Carrot Metabolism Drama [00:16:32] — Extended debate about Carissa claiming her body can’t process carrots. Dale insists she needs proper medical diagnosis, not self-diagnosis at urgent care clinics.
- Breaking and Entering Gratitude Call [00:19:39] — 22-year listener calls to thank the show for winning the Breaking and Entering Christmas gift contest for a family in need.
- Consumer Electronics Show Wrap-Up [00:27:17] — Dale goes through CES products including stalking drones, radiation-blocking underwear, the Portal minivan concept, and levitating speakers.
- How Long Should You Use a Bath Towel? [00:28:40] — Hosts debate bath towel hygiene after Dale reads article recommending no more than three uses. Matt uses towels once then puts them on the floor as bath mats; Bob’s wife wants everything washed immediately.
- Maid Story [00:32:23] — Dale shares story about his maid knowing he takes naps when alone, making awkward Schwarzenegger maid pregnancy jokes.
- 1958 Western About Trump Building a Wall [00:35:56] — Dale plays clips from 1958 TV series ‘Trackdown’ featuring con man Walter Trump promising to build a wall to save the town from destruction. Everyone is amazed by the coincidence.
- Carissa’s Dad and the Border Wall [00:38:59] — Carissa shares that her geologist father worked on the ‘virtual wall’ project that got canceled, now bidding for work on the physical border wall.
- Texas Legislature Convenes [00:40:11] — Dale rants about the Texas Legislature starting session, focusing on how legislators prioritize bathroom bills and abortion over infrastructure, education, or foster care reform.
- Matt Krause No-Fault Divorce Bill [00:42:00] — Dale rips into Fort Worth Rep. Matt Krause’s bill to end no-fault divorces in Texas, arguing it’s about billable hours for lawyers (Krause is a lawyer) not saving families. Dale shares personal story of his parents’ violent marriage.
- Dan Patrick Press Conference [00:50:11] — Dale mocks Dan Patrick’s press conference denying he’ll run for governor or other offices, calling it grandstanding with no substance.
- Telemarketer Prank Call [00:50:30] — Dale answers Blue Cross Blue Shield robocall and tells telemarketer he’s a transsexual in a women’s bathroom stall in Texas. The telemarketer responds inappropriately and hangs up.
- Towel Caller and Huey Joke [00:51:20] — Caller says he uses one towel per week since you’re clean after showering, then jokes that Bob’s idea about bigger rotors for personal drones ‘has already been invented – it’s called a Huey.’
- Dan Patrick Won’t Run for Governor [00:53:01] — More discussion of Dan Patrick’s press conference and his bathroom bill crusade. Dale encourages everyone to spread rumors Patrick IS running to annoy him.
- Georgia Bathroom Robbery Story [00:55:01] — Dale uses story of man hiding in women’s bathroom to rob store employees to mock the bathroom bill, noting criminals don’t follow laws anyway.
- Dowana Dukes Won’t Resign [00:56:15] — Discussion of Austin Rep. Dowana Dukes reversing her resignation decision despite ethics violations and misuse of state funds.
- Bill O’Reilly Sexual Harassment Settlement [00:59:39] — Dale mentions another Fox News settlement involving Bill O’Reilly and sexual harassment, making Scientology jokes about Greta Van Susteren.
- Green Day Ticket Mix-Up and Song Puns [01:01:35] — Dale notices the contest copy has Foreigner/Cheap Trick and Green Day information switched. This launches extended segment of trading Foreigner and Cheap Trick song title puns between the hosts.
Recurring Bits
- Pop Cop [00:00:45] — Matt delivers Pop Cop celebrity news segment with jokes about Drake, Netflix, Pat Benatar, Ed Sheeran, Pope Francis, Joe Biden, Trump inauguration guests, Obama’s wall, newspaper DUI story, and student loans
Callers
- Kathy (regular) [00:06:51] — Email problems reaching Carissa; mentioned wanting to discuss bugs and jewelry Dale jokes about her hoarding tendencies and references recent Hoarders episode. Carissa confirms she’s receiving other emails fine.
- Ben [00:11:51] — Survival challenge contest – correctly identified Matt won and Daniel died Won U2 tickets in Houston. Dale forgot Sideshow subscribers already knew the answer from the podcast.
- Steve (appliance guy) [00:10:29] — Called to help Dale with leaking washer problem Dale took his number on hold to call him later for appliance repair advice
- unnamed [00:19:39] — Called to thank the show for winning Breaking and Entering contest after 22 years of listening Dale offered to visit the family if the child who cried about missing Dudley and Bob wants to meet them. Positive thank-you call.
- unnamed [00:26:08] — Started to give advice about Carissa’s gallbladder and ultrasound Suggested Carissa get an ultrasound on her gallbladder. Carissa revealed she had one 12 years ago and changed her diet instead of getting surgery.
- unnamed [00:51:19] — Two topics: towel usage (uses one per week) and personal drones Got a laugh by joking that Bob’s idea for bigger rotors on personal drones has ‘already been invented – it’s called a Huey’ (helicopter)
Quotes
You do not have a different body than any other human being. You’re not special.
Dale Dudley [00:16:09]
They come in here and none of them had to do with money, infrastructure, or education.
Dale Dudley [00:40:48]
So we should put our faith in somebody who attended a school started by an online television charlatan.
Dale Dudley [00:43:20]
Part 3: Dale is in the Bathroom
The show wraps up with Dale discussing politics (including a CNN story about Jeff Sessions), promoting his NewsRadio appearances, and playing audio from a viral video of a woman shoplifting a frying pan from Ikea. The hosts discuss bathroom bill politics, Dale leaves a voicemail for Dan Patrick’s office using a harmonizer, and they introduce a new recurring caller ‘Armadillo Steve,’ a longtime Austinite, for a future ‘People of the Neighborhood’ segment. The show ends with Dale browsing luxury cruise catalogs on-air and considering a Scandinavia cruise for his 10th anniversary.
Segments
- Dale previews NewsRadio show [00:00:13] — Dale announces he’ll be on NewsRadio 590 KLBJ discussing the CNN story about Jeff Sessions’ prosecutorial misconduct case.
- Bob Schneider Moonlight tickets [00:01:19] — Dale gives away tickets to Bob Schneider and the Moonlight Orchestra Valentine’s Day show at the Paramount.
- Ikea shoplifting video [00:01:22] — The hosts watch and react to viral video of a woman in St. Louis arrested for shoplifting a frying pan from Ikea by hiding it in her yoga pants.
- Dale’s stolen wallet story [00:08:36] — Dale recounts when his wallet was stolen at a house party and found in the street, discussing suspects including a Pizza Hut delivery driver and a kleptomaniac guest.
- KC95 virtual museum [00:16:44] — Dale shows off sister station KC95 in St. Louis’ online virtual museum and plays a vintage Lynyrd Skynyrd song parody from their archives.
- Dan Patrick bathroom bill call [00:22:25] — Dale calls Texas Lt. Governor Dan Patrick’s office using a voice harmonizer, claiming to be in a women’s bathroom wearing a dress, asking about the bathroom bill.
- Austin road sign contest [00:26:55] — Discussion of Austin Transportation Department’s contest for witty safety messages to display on digital road signs.
- Pope allows breastfeeding [00:35:57] — Brief Pop Cop segment about Pope Francis encouraging mothers to breastfeed in church.
- Armadillo Steve calls in [00:38:19] — Longtime Austin caller Steve becomes first ‘whack packer’ after discussing old Austin, speed, Quaaludes, and the Armadillo World Headquarters. Dale invites him for People of the Neighborhood.
- Price is Right Live announcement [00:44:00] — Discussion of The Price is Right Live show coming to HEB Center in Cedar Park.
- Queensrÿche booking [00:48:00] — Dale mentions possibly getting Queensrÿche’s lead singer for a live in-studio performance.
- Luxury cruise browsing [00:50:00] — Dale spends the end of the show browsing Seabourn cruise catalogs on-air, discussing 200-day cruises and considering a Scandinavia cruise for his 10th anniversary.
Recurring Bits
- Pop Cop [00:35:57] — Brief mention of Pope allowing breastfeeding in church
- People of the Neighborhood [00:38:19] — Dale invites caller ‘Armadillo Steve’ to be the first guest for this segment as a longtime Austinite
Callers
- Steve (later nicknamed ‘Armadillo Steve’) (Austin (born and raised)) [00:38:19] — Called about hearing Pop Cop sound bites during Christmas break; became discussion about old Austin, drugs (speed, Quaaludes), and memories of Armadillo World Headquarters Dale dubbed him ‘Armadillo Steve’ and invited him to be the show’s first ‘whack packer’ for a future People of the Neighborhood segment. Became a potential recurring character.
Music
- Queensrÿche — Dale mentions possibly booking lead singer for live in-studio performance; played ‘Silent Lucidity’ on-air
Quotes
I’m probably going to end up suffering for that because I think you got some wacky people who believe you should salute the Fuhrer.
Dale Dudley [00:01:04]
Who wears yoga pants to go shoplifting?
Dale Dudley [00:05:16]
Peace and love, peace and love. Do not write me about your court cases.
Dale Dudley [00:10:07]
I’m at a Target on 183 wearing a nice sundress. I know it’s winter but that’s all that fit me.
Dale Dudley [00:24:45]
You’re my first whack packer. I’m not no threat to nobody.
Dale Dudley [00:41:43]