Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Thursday, February 9, 2017
This Show
Part 1: Dale’s Driving
Dale opens the show reflecting on his early radio career and a missed cue that reminded him of his drama teacher. The cast spends significant time debating why public toilet seats have a U-shape gap (designed for women’s hygiene), with Daniel initially confused about what part of the toilet they were even discussing. Dale nearly hits Matt with his car in the parking lot, discusses his contract negotiations and vacation time, and argues with the staff about everything from pretzel bowls to proper toilet seat design. Chuck promises to reveal who stole the ‘bag of D’s’ candy from the office.
Segments
- Show Open and Dale’s Memories [00:00:01] — Dale reminisces about missing a cue in high school drama and his teacher who changed his life, leading to his radio career when Jimmy Strickland’s dad wouldn’t let him take the DJ job.
- Writing Projects and Mental Illness [00:04:04] — Dale discusses being inspired by ‘Hillbilly Elegy’ to write something about mental illness and his career, mentioning support from his former Austin Monthly editors.
- Hyde Park Baptist Protest Call [00:08:17] — Dale urges listeners to protest Dan Patrick and Ken Paxton speaking at Hyde Park Baptist Church at 9:30am, calling them bigoted. Matt advises against being rude inside the church.
- Parking Lot Incident [00:10:02] — Dale nearly backs into Matt Bearden in the parking lot while listening to Rush’s Tom Sawyer, blaming the lack of reserved parking spots.
- Money and Credit Card Drama [00:11:00] — Carissa reveals she ran up her credit card again after paying it off. Dale tries to give her money, she refuses, leading to discussion about Daniel’s dubbing work for Bob.
- Earrings Transaction [00:13:02] — Dale pays Carissa $30 for two pairs of earrings she made for his wife, with much hemming and hawing about the price.
- Tears for Fears Cover [00:16:17] — Dale plays a video of Tears for Fears’ Kurt Smith doing an acoustic version of ‘Everybody Wants to Rule the World’ with Ted Yoder on dulcimer.
- Rush and Workplace Food [00:18:46] — Dale defends playing Rush’s Tom Sawyer. Daniel complains about lack of workplace food benefits, referencing tech companies with pretzel bowls and other perks.
- Vacation and Contract Talk [00:22:34] — Dale discusses his contract negotiations, wanting every Monday off in July or August despite the four-week company maximum, comparing US policies to European standards.
- Toilet Seat Mystery Begins [00:28:15] — Dale poses a question about why public toilet seats have a U-shaped gap in front. Daniel becomes thoroughly confused about which part of the toilet they’re discussing.
- Daniel’s Confusion Deepens [00:30:01] — Daniel admits he ‘overthought it’ and doesn’t know the answer. The crew has to draw diagrams to help him understand they’re talking about the horseshoe-shaped seat versus the round home toilet seat.
- Toilet Seat Answer and Debate [00:34:12] — Dale reveals the gap is designed for women’s hygiene, allowing them to wipe without touching the seat. Carissa and others debate the practicality and proper wiping technique, much to Dale’s frustration.
- Podcast and Giveaway Announcements [00:41:02] — Dale announces the next live podcast at Cap City Comedy Club on April 19th as a Moon Tower Comedy Festival kickoff, and prepares to give away Kathleen Madigan and Deftones tickets.
Callers
- Adam [00:33:52] — Offered to pick up Armadillo Steve if they find out where he lives Helpful offer but location of Armadillo Steve remains unclear (possibly Atlanta area)
- Tyler [00:36:52] — Called claiming toilet seats were designed for men, identified as journeyman plumber Dale mockingly told him to ‘call back when you’re a master plumber’
- Alan [00:41:13] — Challenged Dale’s toilet seat explanation, claimed to be master plumber Dale didn’t believe him and hung up when caller paused to listen to himself on air
Music
- Rush — Tom Sawyer discussed as Dale’s driving music, defended against Bob and Matt’s criticism
- Tears for Fears (Kurt Smith) with Ted Yoder — Acoustic cover of ‘Everybody Wants to Rule the World’ played and discussed
Quotes
Dan Patrick is a bigoted fool. And so is Greg Abbott.
Dale Dudley [00:08:37]
I probably would have broken Matt Bearden’s legs.
Dale Dudley [00:14:03]
And along comes Daniel Gallagher going, free pretzels all day long!
Dale Dudley [00:24:43]
Mind blown. You won. You got a mind blown from Daniel Gallo.
Dale Dudley [00:33:02]
Part 2: Carrisa Needs a Raise
This middle segment of the show spirals from a routine PopCop bit and animal videos into an unexpectedly tense workplace discussion when Carissa discovers on-air that she doesn’t receive performance bonuses like the on-air talent do. What starts as Matt teasing about not knowing the show’s target demo (persons 25-54) evolves into Dale expressing frustration about the inequities of the radio business, his survivor’s guilt, and his attempts to support his staff financially out of his own pocket. The segment is emotional and raw, with Dale defending Carissa while also explaining the harsh realities of radio’s business model.
Segments
- Show Opening and Deftones Ticket Tease [00:00:00] — Dale opens, mentions his struggle doing the AM show from home without proper equipment, and teases Deftones tickets coming up.
- PopCop [00:01:07] — Matt performs PopCop with jokes about Trevor Noah, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Tom Brady’s missing jersey, Hillary Clinton, Trump rally attendance, and adult toy bingo in Pennsylvania.
- Dale’s Realty Shares Investment Rant [00:06:07] — Dale goes on an extended rant about losing money through realty shares crowdsourced real estate investing, getting into arguments on their Facebook page, and looking for an attorney to send a threatening letter.
- National Pizza Day and Willenda Circus Accident [00:13:16] — Dale mentions National Pizza Day and discusses a tightrope accident involving the Willenda family circus performers in Florida, imagining Daniel as part of that family business.
- Dale’s New Car Mystery [00:17:00] — Discussion about Dale buying a new car but refusing to say which one, with Matt revealing someone from the dealership tipped him off that it was happening.
- Magic iPod Mashup Attempt [00:18:00] — The show attempts to use a website called ‘magic iPod’ to create song mashups live, with mixed results and Carissa criticizing the effort.
- Animal Cavalcade Begins [00:22:07] — Dale starts showing animal videos including a manta ray swimmer, caveman fishing with bare hands, and cat-proof fence invention.
- Daniel’s Cat Button Confession [00:26:14] — Daniel mentions touching his cat’s ‘button’ which leads to awkward questioning about whether he molested the cat, with Daniel stuttering through an explanation.
- Fly Poop on Blinds [00:28:01] — Daniel shares his observation of watching a fly land and defecate, leading to discussion of fly waste on white blinds and home cleanliness.
- The Target Demo Revelation [00:32:45] — Matt challenges Carissa to name the show’s target demographic. When she cannot, it’s revealed she’s worked there six years without knowing it’s persons 25-54, leading to growing tension.
- Bonus Structure Bombshell [00:35:02] — Carissa discovers on-air that Dale, Matt, and Daniel receive performance bonuses based on hitting the target demo, but she does not. This becomes the emotional center of the segment.
- Deftones Ticket Contest – Target Demo [00:37:00] — Dale gives away Deftones tickets to the first caller who can correctly identify the show’s target demographic (persons 25-54). Alan wins.
- Blue Apron Live Read [00:48:00] — Dale does a Blue Apron ad read for meal delivery service.
- Hyde Park Baptist Church Announcement [00:49:17] — Dale announces that Lt. Governor Dan Patrick and Attorney General Ken Paxton will be speaking at Hyde Park Baptist Church about trans and gay issues, encouraging trans listeners to attend.
- Caller Lindsay Triggers Meltdown [00:51:03] — A caller named Lindsay, claiming to have just tuned in, says Carissa deserves a raise or bonus. Dale reacts angrily, suspecting it’s a setup, and goes on a passionate rant about the unfairness of the radio business.
- Dale Throws Money at Carissa [00:54:00] — Dale literally throws cash at Carissa telling her to ‘go get yourself a penis,’ then realizes a hundred-dollar bill may be missing, briefly suspecting Chuy took it.
- Dale’s Emotional Speech [00:56:00] — Dale delivers a heartfelt, emotional monologue about survivor’s guilt, the sexism in radio (women never anchor morning shows), how the business is dying, how he tries to supplement his staff’s income from his own pocket, and his frustration with management.
- Lorenzo Calls to Get Mad at Matt [01:01:03] — Caller Lorenzo says he just wants to get mad at Matt since everyone else is getting mad at someone, providing comic relief to close the tense segment.
Recurring Bits
- Pop Cop [00:01:07] — Matt does PopCop with jokes about Trevor Noah, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Tom Brady, Hillary Clinton, Trump rallies, and adult toy bingo
- Animal Cavalcade [00:22:07] — Dale shows videos of manta ray, caveman fishing, cat-proof fence, bald parrot, comfort pig at airport, gecko that sheds skin, and squirrel vs crow over pizza
Callers
- Nick [00:42:36] — Tried to guess the target demo (guessed 25 to 40) Got it wrong, hung up on
- Steve [00:44:03] — Tried to guess the target demo (guessed 20 to 45) Got it wrong, hung up on
- Alan [00:44:27] — Guessed the target demo correctly (persons 25 to 54) Won Deftones tickets, made joke about his ‘uncle dad’ being mad about earlier inbred comment
- Michael (Baba Duke) (regular) [00:50:10] — Called to thank the show, remembered winning Circuit of the Americas tickets in October Was 29 years old, Matt joked he’s outside the demo so they hung up on him
- Lindsay [00:51:03] — Said she was ‘just driving by’ and heard that Carissa doesn’t get a bonus, thinks she deserves one Triggered major meltdown from Dale who suspected she was a plant or regular caller pretending not to listen. He angrily hung up on her and delivered an emotional rant about the radio business
- Lorenzo [01:01:03] — Just wanted to get mad at Matt since everyone was getting mad at somebody Provided comic relief at the end of a very tense segment, everyone laughed
Quotes
If there’s a lawyer out there who’ll just write a letter for me, I’ll pay you for it.
Dale Dudley [00:09:57]
I could do better than that if I had the time.
Carissa Jade [00:18:35]
I’ve never gotten a bonus. Are you kidding me? I didn’t even know.
Carissa Jade [00:35:20]
She’s in a position that’s never been a bonus position.
Matt Bearden [00:38:51]
They never hire women to anchor a morning show on the radio. It’s a totally sexist business.
Dale Dudley [00:56:00]
Every time I’ve gone in for negotiations, I say you need to take care of my people.
Dale Dudley [00:58:25]
Part 3: Bag o’ Dicks
This segment centers on the ‘Bag of Dicks’ mystery: someone took candy samples (shaped like penises) that were sent to the show from a company called ‘Ship a Bag of D’s.’ Daniel asks if anyone knows where they are, leading Dale to request security camera footage. Chuck the Engineer investigates and reveals the items were likely mistaken for trash and accidentally thrown away by a custodian, not stolen. The segment also features callers discussing radio demographics and career advice, plus Dale’s ongoing struggle with drinking and self-reflection about the future of radio. The bit generates multiple ‘gates’ (Demo Gate, Milk Gate, Bag of D’s Gate) as Daniel repeatedly shifts his story about where the candy was placed.
Segments
- Morning Check-In and Callers [00:00:00] — Dale addresses listeners after an earlier tense segment. Callers Mark and Chance phone in with comments about radio demographics and career advice in broadcasting.
- Radio Career Discussion [00:05:00] — Chance calls about getting into radio/sports broadcasting. Dale and Matt discuss the changing landscape of radio employment and the decline of personality-driven morning shows.
- Vodka for Cookies Story [00:13:00] — The show plays a news clip about a man in Oklahoma arrested for trying to trade vodka for Girl Scout cookies while drunk in public.
- Ring Doorbell Evangelists [00:16:00] — Dale plays ring doorbell footage of religious solicitors discussing their approach, including telling people ‘they’re going to burn in hell forever.’ Dale criticizes the logic of religious proselytizing.
- The Bag of Dicks Mystery Begins [00:19:00] — Dale reveals they’re investigating who took candy samples (shaped like penises) from their office. Chuck the Engineer has reviewed security footage.
- Chuck’s Investigation Results [00:23:00] — Chuck reveals he found footage but is concerned about the implications. He questions Daniel and Carissa about exactly where the items were stored. Tension builds about whether to report a theft.
- The Truth Emerges [00:26:00] — Chuck reveals the items were stacked next to a trash can and likely mistaken for garbage by cleaning staff. The ‘theft’ was actually accidental disposal. Daniel’s story shifts multiple times about where they were placed.
- Daniel’s Defensive Turn [00:29:00] — Daniel becomes defensive, worried he almost got someone fired. The cast discusses previous ‘gates’ including Milk Gate and how Daniel changes his story when sensing tension.
- Milk Gate Backstory [00:34:00] — The cast discusses a previous incident where Brian Beck’s milk kept disappearing, security footage was checked, and the culprit was identified.
- Chuck and Dale’s Relationship [00:39:00] — Dale thanks Chuck for his work and reflects on their 20-year working relationship. They discuss Chuck coming on air more often and his barbecue quartet concept.
- Cake Day and Studies [00:43:00] — Caller Adam asks about ‘Cake Day’ at the station. Dale discusses a study showing people who curse more are more honest. Michael calls to critique the study’s methodology.
- Dale’s Anniversary Gift Idea [00:50:00] — Dale considers asking his wife for voice lessons as an anniversary gift, wondering if it would be ‘gay’ (out of character for him). Learns Matt and Bob signed up for a shooting class without him.
- Closing Apology to Carissa [00:52:00] — Dale apologizes to Carissa for his earlier anger about wages, explaining it stems from guilt and fear about the dying radio industry and watching colleagues lose their jobs over the years.
Callers
- Mark [00:01:07] — Joking about missing 15 years of the show and only having 12 years left in the demo Brief humorous exchange about aging out of the target demographic
- Chance [00:01:33] — Career advice about getting into radio, concerned about Dale saying ‘this is going to go away’ Dale and Matt explain the decline of personality radio while praising Emmis for still supporting local talent. Discussed whether sports broadcasting might be more stable
- Adam [00:42:48] — Asked about ‘Cake Day’ mentioned in passing during Pretzel Gate Daniel explains it’s a monthly celebration of birthdays and work anniversaries with purchased cake
- Michael [00:47:53] — Critiqued the methodology of the study about cursing and honesty Made his point, then cursed on air and got double-dumped, which Dale found funny
Quotes
Friday Evening Dale talking with Monday Morning Dale, they’re two days apart.
Dale Dudley [00:09:00]
Those of us who are agnostic and atheist are looked at as though we’re the crazy ones.
Dale Dudley [00:18:28]
This is how people get the death penalty.
Dale Dudley [00:28:45]
It reminds me that one day I’ll be there and it scares the crap out of me.
Dale Dudley [00:52:56]