Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Thursday, February 23, 2017
This Show
Part 1: Sleep Paralysis
The show opens with Dale running late after his Porsche experienced engine problems, forcing him to drive it home. The crew discusses Carissa’s recent sleep paralysis episodes, which she posted about on Facebook. The conversation evolves into various topics including Gary Cartwright’s passing, Daniel’s literal interpretations of small-town governance, baseball rule changes, newly discovered planets, and a disastrous Animal Cavalcade segment plagued by technical difficulties.
Segments
- Dale arrives late with car trouble [00:00:12] — Bob does a slow intro while Dale is running late. Dale’s Porsche had an engine control fault and wouldn’t accelerate, forcing him to drive it home like he was on a skateboard.
- Sleep paralysis discussion [00:03:27] — Carissa posted on Facebook about experiencing sleep paralysis, with 64 comments. Bob shares that he once saw a hooded figure during a sleep paralysis episode in the mid-80s, which he thought was paranormal.
- Dale’s out-of-body experience attempt [00:06:42] — Dale recounts trying Robert Monroe’s ‘Journeys Out of the Body’ techniques after his grandmother died, seeing a hooded figure that scared him away from further attempts.
- Gary Cartwright obituary [00:20:03] — Dale pays tribute to Texas Monthly writer Gary Cartwright, who died at Seton. Cartwright’s article about Bernie Tiede led to the movie ‘Bernie’ in which Dale appeared.
- Daniel doesn’t know about small town government [00:22:00] — Dale laughs about Daniel being surprised to learn that small towns have mayors and city councils, despite having seen television his whole life.
- Terlingua ghost town vandalism [00:26:00] — The crew discusses vandals destroying historic Terlingua ghost town ruins. They jokingly blame CJ, who is on vacation in the area and has a history of breaking things when angry.
- Baseball rule changes [00:29:53] — Matt brings up MLB eliminating the intentional walk pitches. Dale dismisses baseball as boring while Matt defends it as America’s pastime. The change will save approximately 14 seconds per game.
- Seven new planets discovered [00:34:31] — NASA announces seven Earth-sized planets around one star 40 light years away. Dale claims one for people who believe in facts, calling it ‘Factoidia.’ Carissa initially struggles with the math of light years versus Earth years.
- Animal Cavalcade [00:41:28] — A troubled segment covering Sid Miller approving warfarin poison for feral hogs, a teen killing a bald eagle, a dog possibly blown onto a roof by tornado, and a puppy eating heroin. Technical difficulties plague the entire segment.
Recurring Bits
- Animal Cavalcade [00:41:28] — Dale runs through several depressing animal stories while experiencing severe technical difficulties, calling it ‘the worst animal cavalcade we’ve ever had’
Quotes
Your mind is scientifically somewhere between sleep and consciousness
Bob Fonseca [00:03:40]
Cats claw at your skin and demons fly over your head
Carissa Jade [00:14:33]
Wait a minute. Are you telling me small towns have mayors and city councils?
Dale Dudley [00:22:24]
If I’m traveling at the speed of light, how many earth years will it take me to get there?
Dale Dudley [00:35:02]
Part 2: Food
This part of the show centers on a food segment titled ‘Fast Food Fanatic,’ where the hosts discuss various food trends including grilled cheese hot dogs, volcano potatoes, Cheetos cookies, and underrated burger joints. Dale shares a viral video of a drunk man being ejected from a flight for racist remarks. The segment also features discussion of a Stephen Colbert piece on Alex Jones, Daniel Gallo’s unintentional racial observation about a CDC sleep study (which the crew teases him about mercilessly), a Dallas preacher’s viral Whataburger honey butter chicken biscuit song, and a terrifying video of a Russian model dangling from a skyscraper. The hosts also promote their upcoming live podcast at Cap City Comedy Club.
Segments
- Flying Then and Now [00:00:03] — Dale discusses how air travel used to be a dressed-up event and shares his grandmother’s experience, contrasting it with today’s casual and sometimes problematic airline behavior.
- Racist Passenger Removed from Flight [00:01:14] — Dale plays audio of a drunk passenger being removed from a Chicago-to-Houston flight after making bomb jokes and racist comments to a Pakistani couple.
- Dale’s Flight Attendant Story [00:04:41] — Dale claims he once charmed a Continental flight attendant who flew to see him multiple weekends in the 1990s after giving him her number on a napkin.
- Live Podcast Announcement [00:07:01] — The crew announces tickets are on sale for their April 19th live podcast at Cap City Comedy Club, tied to Moon Tower Comedy Festival.
- Facebook Friend Request Bigotry [00:07:55] — Dale reveals Carissa judges Facebook friend requests based on appearance, particularly beards on men aged 45-65, which she finds potentially creepy.
- Daniel’s Accidental Racism [00:13:53] — Daniel worries he said something racist off-air about a CDC study on sleep patterns by race, which Chuy found funny because it confirmed stereotypes. The crew teases him relentlessly.
- Alex Jones Road Rage [00:17:01] — Dale plays an unhinged Alex Jones rant filmed while driving, featuring profanity-laced threats against ‘globalists.’
- Stephen Colbert on Alex Jones [00:20:01] — The crew watches and discusses a Stephen Colbert segment examining Alex Jones’ conspiracy theories and his relationship with President Trump, including clips about juice boxes making men gay.
- Fast Food Fanatic Begins [00:24:29] — The food segment kicks off. Daniel seeks permission from Dale to do Fast Food Fanatic. Dale begins showing food videos despite having no food in studio.
- Grilled Cheese Hot Dogs [00:25:32] — The crew watches a recipe video for grilled cheese sandwiches with hot dogs in the middle, leading to debate about cheese sharpness and melting points.
- Volcano Potatoes [00:27:42] — Dale shows bacon-wrapped potatoes filled with cheese that erupts when baked, continuing the cheese sharpness debate between Daniel and Bob.
- Iceland President vs Pineapple Pizza [00:28:54] — Discussion of Iceland’s president joking about banning pineapple on pizza, with Bob defending Hawaiian pizza with Canadian bacon and jalapeños.
- Burger King Buys Popeyes [00:30:08] — News that Burger King purchased Popeyes for $1.8 billion, giving shareholders a 20% valuation jump. Daniel cannot handle food segments without actual food present.
- Cheetos Cookies [00:32:24] — Dale presents Cheetos cookies from Cookie Goods in Los Angeles. Daniel suggests Cheetos is involved in every weird food trend as a conspiracy.
- Texas State Dish Petition [00:33:43] — Discussion of a petition to change Texas’ official state dish from chili to tacos, featuring news anchor Katie whose appearance Dale finds very attractive.
- Dallas Preacher’s Whataburger Song [00:36:08] — Dale plays a viral video of a Dallas preacher singing an elaborate, soulful tribute to Whataburger’s honey butter chicken biscuit.
- Underrated Burger Joints [00:41:48] — Dale discusses a Thrillist list of underrated burger joints including Hop Doddy, which they invite back to bring burgers after a previous incident.
- Russian Model Dangling from Skyscraper [00:45:27] — The crew watches a terrifying video of a Russian model being dangled by one arm from a skyscraper in what appears to be Dubai, causing visceral reactions from everyone.
- CDC Sleep Study and Race [00:51:35] — Dale examines the CDC sleep study Daniel mentioned, clarifying it shows correlation with socioeconomic factors, not racial causation, pushing back on the ‘stereotype’ interpretation.
- Dale’s Patsy Keith Trigger [00:53:00] — Dale shares a deeply personal story about how his wife having wine with a neighbor triggers childhood anxiety about his mother drinking with a neighbor named Patsy Keith.
- Trump Slowed Down Audio [00:56:29] — Dale plays slowed-down audio of a Trump speech that makes him sound drunk, an old radio trick they used to do with politicians.
- Cedric Benson DWI [00:57:05] — Discussion of former NFL player Cedric Benson’s weekend DWI arrest, where he told police he couldn’t recite the alphabet or count past three because he played eight years in the NFL.
Recurring Bits
- Fast Food Fanatic [00:24:29] — Daniel seeks permission from Dale to do the segment. Multiple food items discussed including grilled cheese hot dogs, volcano potatoes, Cheetos cookies, and burger joints.
Text Line
- [00:58:57] Text to win Psychedelic Furs tickets — read by Dale Dudley Standard contest prompt, text ‘President’ to enter
Quotes
What you should be able to do is punch this old dude right in the face.
Dale Dudley [00:02:29]
I can’t do food segments without food. Look at that delicious chicken.
Daniel Gallo [00:13:01]
Just imagine info, then imagine someone at war with it.
Stephen Colbert [00:20:12]
He’s making millionaires and we’re working with racists.
Dale Dudley [00:22:34]
It triggers an anxiety attack in me and there’s no rationality.
Dale Dudley [00:53:06]
Part 3: Enema
The final segment opens with an interview of Michael from Sonic Rabbit Hole, the Houston performance artist whose on-stage enema mishap went viral. What starts as questions about the incident devolves into Michael’s rambling explanations about toxic masculinity and performance art. The hosts then launch into ‘What Do You Got,’ their laziest contest format, giving away Metallica tickets. The bit spirals into chaos when they ask a caller to send proof his pregnant wife exists, resulting in Daniel’s email being flooded with increasingly inappropriate photos from listeners. The segment ends with the hosts horrified but giving tickets to ‘Paul’ who sent the most disturbing image.
Segments
- Sonic Rabbit Hole Interview Opens [00:00:01] — Dale introduces the interview with Michael from Sonic Rabbit Hole about the viral Houston enema incident. Matt takes the lead on questioning.
- Michael Explains the Performance Art [00:01:22] — Michael attempts to explain the enema stunt was commentary on toxic masculinity and bro culture, though he struggles to articulate clearly. The hosts press him on what actually happened.
- Benefit Show Controversy [00:08:59] — Discussion of how the incident happened at a benefit for someone with cancer, with Michael denying the news reports were accurate about fecal matter. Dale finds himself defending Michael against self-righteous Facebook commenters.
- Michael’s Austin Experience [00:15:03] — Michael tells a rambling story about getting blackout drunk in Austin in 2014 and waking up on a stranger’s couch, claiming this is why he doesn’t want to move to Austin despite being unemployed.
- What Do You Got Contest Begins [00:19:01] — Dale launches the Metallica ticket giveaway using their laziest contest format where callers must impress them with ‘what they got.’ Early calls include birthday wishes, trivia offers, and Daniel’s Gallo rooster fact.
- Caller John’s Pregnant Wife Challenge [00:24:37] — Caller John offers to send a photo of his pregnant wife as proof he deserves tickets. The hosts demand he send it to Daniel’s email, setting off the segment’s eventual chaos.
- Email Flood Begins [00:35:00] — As John struggles to successfully email a photo, other listeners start flooding Daniel’s inbox with increasingly inappropriate images. The hosts start reviewing them on-air with growing horror.
- The Photos Get Worse [00:47:00] — The email submissions escalate dramatically. Daniel keeps receiving disturbing photos while the hosts debate whether they can reward any of this behavior. Carissa expresses disgust at the listeners.
- Paul Wins With Worst Photo [00:56:00] — They call back ‘Paul’ who sent the most disturbing image (details deliberately withheld on-air). Despite their horror, they give him the tickets. Daniel declares they have ‘the worst listeners.’
Recurring Bits
- Head to Head [00:00:40] — Dale and Matt reference this old disaster-prone contest format when discussing their laziest bits
- The Sideshow [00:58:27] — Dale mentions the Sideshow podcast is coming up
Guests
- Michael (other) [00:01:07] — Performance artist from Sonic Rabbit Hole, the Houston band whose on-stage enema mishap went viral. Called in to explain the incident. Unemployed 29-year-old artist who rambles extensively and announces upcoming April 5th show at Beer Land in Austin
Callers
- Chris [00:24:42] — Birthday tomorrow, turning 40, longtime Metallica fan offering trivia or singing Hung up on for begging and making the hosts do the work. Dale says maybe they’ll do trivia with him tomorrow
- unnamed (hangover guy) [00:25:56] — Hungover from drinking alone watching Bruins hockey, offered facts about Daniel Gallo’s name meaning rooster Won hockey tickets for Texas Stars game. Daniel ultimately decided to give him the tickets despite the boring Famosa beer story
- unnamed (singing caller) [00:29:18] — Sang ‘Ain’t got nobody and nobody cares about me’ Hung up on immediately. Bob complained about people thinking they want to hear singing
- unnamed [00:30:08] — Offered about 22 fitted something (audio unclear) Hung up on quickly, unclear what was offered
- unnamed (tax refund guy) [00:30:23] — Got $4000 income tax check, has two baby mamas and six kids from two women he was never married to Cursed twice after being warned once, immediately hung up on and disqualified
- unnamed (honeydew prostate) [00:32:18] — Quoted Seinfeld: ‘prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories’ Dale recognized the Seinfeld quote and hung up on him
- unnamed (good job, good family) [00:33:25] — Said he has a good job, good family, just wants to see Metallica Nothing came of it, hosts moved on
- unnamed (Bea Arthur) [00:33:37] — Said he has a naked picture of Bea Arthur Hosts moved on without comment
- unnamed (muscle milk) [00:33:42] — Pantry full of muscle milk trying to get rid of – callback to Sonic Rabbit Hole interview Dale called it a good callback but moved on
- unnamed (bronchitis) [00:34:01] — Has bronchitis, taking steroids, can’t feel legs Dale realized it was Carissa calling in from another room and called her out
- unnamed (new baby) [00:34:17] — One month old baby girl, wants to take wife to Metallica to give her a break Hosts said they’d only give tickets if wife goes with a friend while he stays home with baby, asked for breastfeeding photo as proof
- John (JD Loaf) [00:35:00] — Claimed to have pregnant wife, offered to send photo as proof Spent 10+ minutes trying unsuccessfully to email photo to Daniel. Never successfully sent attachment despite multiple attempts. Hosts eventually moved on but said they’d email him if photo arrived. This kicked off the flood of inappropriate listener photos to Daniel’s email
- unnamed (San Antonio guy) (San Antonio) [00:49:14] — Lives with parents, no car, no job, never had cell phone, no kids, no girlfriend, absolutely nothing but wants Metallica tickets Hosts pointed out he couldn’t get there and had no one to take. Lost connection mid-call
Quotes
What if I’m looking for a band that S’s on stage?
Dale Dudley [00:10:27]
That was Austin-like. Nobody sent you to jail.
Dale Dudley [00:18:55]
I don’t want to hear another person talk about welfare and illegal aliens after that interview.
Dale Dudley [00:22:20]
This is why radio needs order. Not this whack-a-mole stuff.
Dale Dudley [00:45:50]
We have the worst listeners.
Daniel Gallo [00:57:08]