Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Thursday, April 6, 2017
This Show
Part 1: Flat Earthers
The show opens with a podcast migration announcement, then Dale shares personal stories about kissing his old headphones goodbye and coffee-staining his shirt. The hosts troll Carissa and Daniel by claiming the station was sold. Dale discusses the flat earth conspiracy and NBA players who believe in it, then runs through ’25 Facts That Are Complete BS’ – debunking common myths about science, health, and nature. The ‘celebrity call-in bit’ returns with poor results so far.
Segments
- Podcast Migration Announcement [00:00:00] — Matt reads an announcement about the show moving to a new iTunes feed, with the old feed disappearing by May 1st.
- Dale’s Headphone Sentimentality [00:02:00] — Dale shares a story about kissing his old broken headphones goodbye and thanking them for eight years of service before replacing them with new Sony MDR-7506 professional headphones.
- Trolling Carissa and Daniel [00:09:00] — The cast pranks Carissa and Daniel by claiming the station was sold to a company that doesn’t like local personalities. Daniel freaks out and starts praising Emmis.
- Celebrity Call-In Bit Update [00:16:00] — Dale expresses disappointment that only two celebrities have called in so far: Marion from Brooklyn (a Howard Stern ‘whack packer’) and a woman who was stalked.
- Journalistic Integrity Tournament Preview [00:18:00] — Dale complains about CJ Morgan’s bracket setup for round two of the JIT, claiming he put two strong candidates against each other too early.
- Carissa’s Shingles Update [00:19:00] — Discussion about Carissa’s shingles (not scabies), her doctor’s advice, and whether she’s still contagious.
- Pet Chaos Stories [00:23:00] — Dale shares stories about his kids’ hamster and guinea pig, his dog Cooper eating guinea pig food and producing a horrible smell, and warning his kids about what will happen if the dogs catch the small animals.
- Aunt Diana’s Bird Story [00:27:00] — Dale tells the story of his wife’s aunt’s bird being killed by a bulldog, and the aunt claiming her dead husband ‘called the bird home.’
- Wedding Dress Drowning Video [00:31:00] — Dale shows a video of a woman in a wedding dress jumping into the ocean and nearly drowning because the dress became too heavy.
- Angry Mets Fan [00:33:00] — Dale plays audio of an angry Mets fan upset about trains on opening day.
- Tony Romo Broadcasting Speculation [00:35:00] — Discussion about Tony Romo replacing Phil Simms on CBS and whether he’ll play football again this year.
- 25 Facts That Are Complete BS [00:35:00] — Dale goes through a list debunking common myths: outer space temperature, alcohol killing brain cells, water consumption needs, brain hemisphere differences, using 10% of brain, hair/nails growing after death, carrots improving vision, flat earth belief in Middle Ages, coal becoming diamonds, water conducting electricity, lightning striking twice, penny dropped from Empire State Building, organic food superiority, and more.
- Flat Earth Discussion [00:41:00] — The cast discusses NBA players (Shaquille O’Neal, Charles Barkley) who believe the earth is flat.
Recurring Bits
- Journalistic Integrity Bracket [00:18:00] — Round two happening in the nine o’clock hour. Dale unhappy with CJ Morgan’s bracket setup.
Callers
- Marion from Brooklyn (Brooklyn) [00:16:27] — Celebrity call-in bit Audio played of her previous call. She is a ‘whack packer’ from Howard Stern’s show. Currently the winner of the celebrity call-in contest.
Quotes
I grabbed the bag and I kissed it and I said thank you for such good times
Dale Dudley [00:06:35]
Our dogs have one purpose in life and that is to kill animals
Dale Dudley [00:25:00]
What kind of ass is Kenneth where he had the bird shreds in the living room?
Dale Dudley [00:29:00]
Part 1: Flat Earthers
Dale opens discussing his emotional goodbye to his broken headphones and coffee spills on his shirt. The show drifts through personal stories about pets loose in the house, a heated discussion about shingles (Carissa’s ongoing ailment), and Dale’s tale of a family bird being killed by a bulldog. The hosts then tackle ’25 facts that are complete BS,’ debunking common myths. A recurring celebrity call-in contest continues with little success. The Journalistic Integrity Tournament bracket draws complaints for its matchups.
Segments
- Podcast migration announcement [00:00:00] — A pre-recorded announcement directs listeners to subscribe to the new Dudley and Bob with Matt show on iTunes before the old feed shuts down May 1st.
- Show open and headphone sentimentality [00:01:00] — Dale discusses his new headphones and admits to kissing his old broken headphones goodbye, thanking them for eight years of service.
- Coffee stain disaster [00:08:00] — Dale recounts spilling coffee on his white shirt twice, once at home and once in the car, leading to roadside cleanup attempts.
- Herpes discussion and Carissa’s shingles [00:12:00] — Dale tells a story about dumping a woman who had herpes on doctor’s advice. Carissa updates on her shingles recovery.
- Pets loose in the house [00:21:00] — Dale warns his kids about letting the hamster and guinea pig out around the dogs, who are bred to kill small animals.
- Bird killed by bulldog story [00:26:00] — Dale tells the story of his aunt’s bird being ripped apart by a bulldog in the living room, and her belief that her late husband ‘called it home.’
- Dumb things people do to die [00:31:00] — Dale shows a video of a bride jumping into the ocean in her wedding dress and nearly drowning under the fabric.
- Angry Mets fan rant [00:33:00] — The show plays audio of an extremely upset Mets fan ranting about incompetent train service on opening day.
- 25 facts that are complete BS [00:35:00] — Dale walks through myths including hair/nails growing after death, drinking 8 glasses of water daily, using 10% of your brain, flat Earth believers in NBA, and more.
- Flat Earth discussion [00:41:00] — The cast discusses NBA players including Shaquille O’Neal believing the Earth is flat, expressing disbelief at the trend.
Recurring Bits
- Journalistic Integrity Bracket [00:01:27] — Round two mentioned; Dale upset about CJ Morgan’s bracket seeding putting two potential finalists against each other in round one.
- Animal Cavalcade [00:33:12] — Dale mentions planning a huge Animal Cavalcade when Carissa fully returns, as animal stories have been piling up.
Guests
- Sam Murill (comedian) [00:01:34] — Mentioned as coming in later in the show to make them laugh.
Callers
- Marianne from Brooklyn (Brooklyn) [00:10:06] — Celebrity call-in contest – she is a Stern show Wack Packer Dale is excited because she’s a Stern show regular, though Bob and others don’t recognize her significance
Quotes
I grabbed the bag, and I kissed it, and I said, thank you.
Dale Dudley [00:06:35]
Our dogs have one purpose in life. And that is to kill animals.
Dale Dudley [00:25:28]
What kind of ass is Kenneth where he had the bird ripped to shreds?
Dale Dudley [00:29:00]
Part 2: GLOBALISTS
This part features Pop Cop celebrity news, Animal Cavalcade videos including an alligator in a storm drain and a fish creating geometric patterns, and extended Alex Jones commentary. The show discusses shingles remedies suggested by listeners (essential oils, acupuncture), attempts to test a ‘celebrity call-in’ bit with multiple failed impersonations, and wraps with Michelle Bachmann claiming anti-Trump forces are ushering in the Antichrist. Dale’s wife Amanda calls in during the bit, and a Clyde Lewis impersonator trolls the show.
Segments
- Show opening and announcements [00:00:00] — New podcast feed announcement, ticket giveaway setup, celebrity call-in bit reminder for last chance today and tomorrow.
- Pop Cop [00:02:09] — Matt does Pop Cop character delivering celebrity news: Twinkie Day, Barry Manilow coming out, Pamela Anderson dating Julian Assange, Tony Romo CBS gig, James Corden carpool karaoke, Harrison Ford pilot license, open relationships study.
- Failed Ronald Chang celebrity call [00:05:58] — Someone attempts a bad impression of ‘Ronald Chang’ as the celebrity call-in. It’s terrible and they hang up on him.
- Evolution discussion [00:07:49] — Brief discussion about humans not evolving from apes but sharing common ancestors. Daniel tries to contribute but fumbles.
- Carissa’s shingles remedies [00:10:08] — Dale mocks listener suggestions for treating Carissa’s shingles including essential oils, acupuncture, raw honey and tea bags. Discussion of essential oils MLM culture among Christian stay-at-home moms.
- Mystery pill identification [00:16:00] — Carissa found a pill and wants to identify it. Turns out to be acyclovir (Zovirax), an antiviral for herpes and shingles, not the Xanax they initially thought.
- Animal Cavalcade begins [00:17:42] — Police officer freaking out over mouse, alligator in storm drain, Madeline ‘Gotcha Bitch’ animal cruelty guilty plea, dancing dog video, geometric pattern-making fish, spider jumping on man with broom, bee swarm at baseball game.
- Indigenous whale ceremony [00:27:57] — Video of indigenous people placing baby inside whale carcass as traditional ceremony to make child a great hunter. Hosts discuss cultural practices.
- Alex Jones profanity clips [00:30:32] — Playing Alex Jones clips where he curses extensively, threatens Rep. Adam Schiff, uses ‘fill your hand’ John Wayne reference. Discussion of whether threats constitute federal crime. Includes clips of Jones calling people ‘fairies’ and ‘pansies’ while claiming he’s not anti-gay.
- Alex Jones legal analysis [00:37:00] — Discussion of whether Jones violated 18 USC 115 by threatening congressman. Dale argues no laws are being enforced under Trump administration (emoluments clause example with Jimmy Carter’s peanut farm).
- Alex Jones preparing for nuclear war with China [00:39:09] — Playing Jones clip warning of imminent nuclear war with China, calling Democrats ‘fairies and pansies,’ saying US must strike China preemptively.
- Multiple failed celebrity call attempts [00:42:20] — Series of failed attempts at celebrity calls with bad phone audio quality. Dale experiments endlessly with harmonizer settings trying to make it sound like a phone. Multiple characters attempted including Dr. Bob Peters weather voice.
- Renner’s Warehouse live read [00:45:15] — Matt does sponsored content for property management company.
- More harmonizer experiments [00:46:42] — Continued attempts to fix phone effect with harmonizer, singing Winchester Cathedral, doing various voice tests.
- Adam Wolf Alex Jones impersonation call [00:48:56] — Caller doing Alex Jones voice calls on behalf of listener Adam Wolf. Brief and awkward.
- Mini God Squad – Michelle Bachmann [00:50:25] — Playing Michelle Bachmann audio claiming anti-Trump globalists are paving way for the Antichrist and one-world system. Dale rants about evangelical Trump supporters’ hypocrisy.
- Amanda (Dale’s wife) calls in [00:54:01] — Dale’s wife Amanda calls the show, discussion turns to Hitachi Magic Wand massager, Bob Schneider impression, uncomfortable innuendo.
- Clyde Lewis impersonator trolls show [00:59:17] — Someone impersonating radio host Clyde Lewis calls to defend Alex Jones and complain about the show’s podcast being ‘inappropriate.’ Matt Bearden calls him out for previously cursing at KLBJ staff. Dale says he’ll apologize to Alex when Alex apologizes to Newtown parents.
Recurring Bits
- Pop Cop [00:02:09] — Matt delivers celebrity news in Pop Cop character covering Twinkie Day, Barry Manilow, Pamela Anderson/Assange, Tony Romo, James Corden, Harrison Ford, open relationships study
- Animal Cavalcade [00:17:42] — Extended segment with police officer vs mouse, alligator in drain, dancing dog, geometric fish artist, spider attack, bee swarm at baseball, whale ceremony video
- God Squad [00:50:25] — Mini God Squad featuring Michelle Bachmann claiming globalists are bringing the Antichrist, Dale ranting about evangelical Trump supporters
Callers
- unnamed (Ronald Chang impersonator) [00:05:58] — Attempted celebrity call-in with terrible impression Failed badly, hung up on immediately. Not the same person who did a good impression previously.
- Amanda (Dale’s wife) (regular) [00:54:01] — Called in supposedly on behalf of listener Lockheed Uli but really just became awkward content about personal massager Led to uncomfortable on-air discussion about Hitachi Magic Wand, Dale told her not to call in to bits anymore
- unnamed (Clyde Lewis impersonator) [00:59:17] — Pretending to be radio host Clyde Lewis, calling to defend Alex Jones and complain about the show being inappropriate Matt Bearden called him out for previously cursing at station staff. Dale said he’d apologize to Alex when Alex apologizes to Newtown parents. Successful troll.
- unnamed (Adam Wolf’s celebrity call) [00:48:56] — Bad Alex Jones impression calling on behalf of listener Adam Wolf Brief awkward call that went nowhere, hung up quickly
Quotes
Essential oils aren’t going to heal her shingles. They’re not going to heal anything.
Dale Dudley [00:11:58]
When are you ever right on anything, dude? (to Alex Jones clip)
Dale Dudley [00:34:05]
Nobody’s enforcing any laws whatsoever. People are just ignoring that we had any rules.
Dale Dudley [00:38:39]
I’ll apologize to Alex when he apologizes to the parents of the dead kids at Newtown.
Dale Dudley [01:02:56]
Part 3: Sam Morril
Sam Morril joins the show for the first time, sharing stories about reality TV competition shows (Last Comic Standing, America’s Got Talent), roast battles with Steve Rannazzisi, and appearing on Fox News’s Red Eye. The mood shifts dramatically when Matt Bearden learns mid-show that comedian LaShonda Lester has passed away. The celebrity call-in contest continues throughout, with David Yow (Jesus Lizard, actor) making a notable call near the end.
Segments
- Podcast migration announcement [00:00:00] — Pre-recorded announcement about the show moving to a new home on iTunes, with the old feed ending May 1st.
- Alex and chest bumping [00:00:27] — Discussion about someone who might be angry at the hosts, and Sam’s past physical confrontations involving chest bumping.
- Sam Morril introduction [00:01:32] — Dale introduces Sam Morril, discusses his height and late-night TV appearances including Colbert.
- Roast Battle with Steve Rannazzisi [00:06:46] — Sam tells the story of competing against Steve Rannazzisi (who lied about being in 9/11) in a roast battle, delivering the line ‘on a scale of one to 10, I give that a ground zero.’
- Trump and Melania discussion [00:09:06] — Conversation about Trump, his relationship with New York, and speculation about Melania.
- Red Eye on Fox News [00:12:49] — Sam discusses appearing on Red Eye, making jokes about Roger Ailes during the sexual harassment scandal, and the show being canceled.
- Fox News and Bill O’Reilly sponsors [00:14:54] — Discussion of Fox News losing sponsors over the Bill O’Reilly harassment allegations and how the network is handling it.
- Celebrity contest setup [00:19:56] — Dale explains the F1 race VIP passes contest requiring listeners to get celebrities to call in on their behalf.
- LaShonda Lester death announcement [00:23:45] — Matt Bearden steps out of the studio after learning comedian LaShonda Lester has passed away. He returns to confirm the news on air.
- Remembering LaShonda [00:29:11] — The hosts play a brief tribute and discuss LaShonda Lester, her comedy career, and her family.
- Mike DeStefano and comic deaths [00:34:24] — Sam and the hosts discuss other comedians who passed away too soon, including Mike DeStefano, Gerard, and Freddie Soto.
- Last Comic Standing experience [00:36:00] — Sam shares his experience on Last Comic Standing, bombing, and Keenan Ivory Wayans not appreciating his sarcastic Scary Movie comment.
- America’s Got Talent nightmare [00:40:43] — Extended story of Sam’s brutal experience on America’s Got Talent: being treated poorly, waiting all day, losing to ‘Tape Face’ the mime despite killing his set.
- Celebrity call-ins begin [00:48:14] — Various celebrity calls including Matthew McConaughey impersonator, Christmas lights installer Jeremy, and Tejano musician Tony Guerrero.
- Actress Holly Guess calls [00:52:43] — Holly Guess, actress from Star Trek fan films ‘Starship Exeter,’ calls in on behalf of Christie Cool.
- Dale and marijuana vaporizers [00:55:00] — Dale discusses wanting to buy a vaporizer, head shop etiquette in Texas, and his experience with marijuana versus alcohol.
- David Yow calls in [00:58:05] — Actor and musician David Yow (Jesus Lizard, ‘I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore’) calls in for Brian McGee. Dale praises his Netflix movie performance.
Guests
- Sam Morril (comedian) [00:01:32] — Stand-up comedian performing at Cap City Comedy Club all week. First appearance on the show. Discussed reality TV competitions, roast battles, and Fox News appearances.
- David Yow (other) [00:58:05] — Actor and former musician (Jesus Lizard, Scratch Acid) called in for the celebrity contest. Lives in LA, formerly lived in Austin 1975-1988. Featured in Netflix film ‘I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore.’
Callers
- unnamed (Matthew McConaughey impersonator) [00:33:14] — Celebrity contest calling for Edward Stockwell Dale questioned him about high school (said ‘west Texas’ when Matthew is from east Texas near Longview), recognized as impersonator and hung up
- Tony Guerrero (Chicago) [00:49:37] — Tejano musician from group La Sombra, Grammy-nominated in 1991, calling for Dennis Jr. Dale seemed uncertain about the celebrity status but took the call, thanked him
- Jeremy [00:48:23] — Christmas lights installer featured on KVUE in 2001, calling for Scott Martin Dale was genuinely excited to talk to him about his hanging method using plastic clips instead of nails. Put Scott Martin in the running.
- Grandpa Creepy (regular) [00:25:47] — Regular caller from CJ’s night show trying to win tickets for himself Dale rejected him because he was calling for himself and is a character from CJ’s show, not a legitimate celebrity
- Holly Guess [00:52:48] — Actress from Star Trek fan films calling for Christie Cool Dale looked her up on IMDB, confirmed her credits in ‘Starship Exeter’ and ‘Demon of the Night,’ accepted her as a celebrity but Christie Cool did not win
Quotes
On a scale of one to 10, I give that a ground zero.
Sam Morril [00:07:19]
If I’m going to roast Sandusky, I’m not going to talk about football.
Sam Morril [00:06:56]
I have no brand. But he does.
Sam Morril [00:13:50]
It was like eight mile for Jews.
Sam Morril [00:37:05]
I still lost to a mime.
Sam Morril [00:46:48]
LaShodna Lester Tribute
Dale introduces a tribute to LaShonda Lester, a comedian and friend of the show who passed away in her sleep the previous night. The tribute consists of audio from her last appearance on the show about a month earlier. During that appearance, LaShonda discussed moving from Detroit to Austin 13 years prior after finding shell casings and blood outside her house, her past as a professional wrestling manager named Miss Electricity, and her time running an escort service in Detroit where she only took a 20% cut.
Segments
- LaShonda Lester Tribute Introduction [00:00:00] — Dale announces that LaShonda Lester passed away in her sleep and introduces audio from her last appearance on the show about a month ago as a tribute.
- LaShonda’s Background [00:00:29] — Archived audio plays where LaShonda discusses moving from Detroit to Austin 13 years prior, her past as wrestling manager Miss Electricity, and running an escort service where she took only 20% instead of the typical 100%.
Guests
- LaShonda Lester (comedian) [00:00:00] — tribute segment featuring archived audio from her last appearance; she had passed away the previous night
Quotes
I woke up one day, and there were shell casings and blood outside my house, and I was like, it’s time to go.
LaShonda Lester [00:01:03]
I was very fair. I only took 20.
LaShonda Lester [00:02:08]