Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Tuesday, June 13, 2017
This Show
Part 1: So Many Cat Puns
Dale vents about his morning commute frustrations and redneck drivers boxing him in. The bulk of the segment is Dale explaining his knee surgery drama: his cardiologist Stan (currently on vacation in Japan) required a cardiac stress test before the procedure, forcing Dale to postpone. Dale feels guilty for texting Stan repeatedly in the middle of the night in Japan. The crew also discusses protesters harassing the Blue Cat Cafe over gentrification, with Dale arguing they’re targeting the wrong person—a renter, not a property owner—and should instead take their grievances to city council. The segment ends with an avalanche of cat puns.
Segments
- Show Open [00:00:16] — Matt delivers the elaborate show introduction thanking ‘the president’ for use of the airwaves, followed by Dale’s entrance.
- Morning Commute Rant [00:01:36] — Dale complains about his morning drive, specifically being boxed in by old men in big trucks and German car drivers who seem empowered. He describes his speed markers and admits to speeding on the toll road bridges.
- Democracy Dies in Darkness [00:06:00] — Bob references the Washington Post tagline. Dale speculates about Trump possibly firing Special Counsel Mueller, comparing it to Nixon’s Saturday Night Massacre.
- Bad Coffee Mystery [00:10:53] — The crew discovers something is wrong with the coffee—it smells and tastes terrible. They debate whether it’s soap residue or bad beans.
- Knee Surgery Postponement Drama [00:11:47] — Dale explains his pre-surgery appointment was derailed when the anesthesiologist reviewed his records and discovered his cardiologist had ordered a cardiac stress test that hadn’t been done. Surgery is postponed.
- The Widowmaker [00:13:49] — Dale explains that both he and Bob have plaque in the ‘widowmaker’ artery (left anterior descending), with only four minutes to reach a hospital if it ruptures. Despite low overall plaque scores (14-15), the location is dangerous.
- Texting Stan in Japan [00:16:59] — Dale shows the crew his extensive text exchange with his cardiologist Stan, who was vacationing in Japan and had to deal with Dale’s medical drama at 2:30 AM Tokyo time. Dale feels guilty but got medical clearance.
- Crutches and T-shirt Refusal [00:22:34] — Dale discusses needing crutches post-surgery and being the first patient to turn down a free Texas Orthopedics t-shirt.
- Caller Brian on Stress Tests [00:25:36] — Brian calls to reassure Dale about the cardiac stress test (lexi scan), saying there’s nothing to worry about.
- Career Reflection [00:27:12] — Dale reflects on his radio career arc, from ‘ridiculously ignorant racist homophobic kid from east Texas’ to his current evolution, noting listeners are now watching his physical decline.
- Cyclists Mowed Down [00:28:28] — News report about a driver (Devin Donnell Rodriguez) who hit multiple cyclists in Austin on Sunday morning, claiming he fell asleep. A woman (Amanda Flores) with him allegedly stole a Good Samaritan’s car and had crystal meth.
- Gala Sponsors and Announcements [00:32:45] — Dale mentions the 25th anniversary gala brought by Ashton Woods Homes and supported by Airco. Teases another performer announcement at 8 AM.
- Smellophonia Debate [00:34:00] — Carissa claims her sense of smell is overwhelming her other senses. Dale loses patience with her insisting her body is different, comparing it to his misophonia. Carissa invents ‘smellophobia’ before Dale corrects her to ‘olfactory.’
- Blue Cat Cafe Protest Rant [00:37:56] — Dale goes off on protesters harassing the Blue Cat Cafe over gentrification, arguing they’re targeting the wrong person—the owner is a renter, not the landlord. He says they should protest city council or the state house instead.
- Cat Pun Avalanche [00:40:49] — The crew launches into an extended series of cat puns: ‘barking up the wrong tree,’ ‘these are the kind of tails we can expect,’ ‘nip it in the bud,’ ‘catnip,’ ‘flee,’ ‘calico,’ and ‘Siamese-ing into the break.’
Recurring Bits
- The Sideshow [00:06:03] — Brief mention in context but not explicitly discussed as a segment topic
Callers
- Brian [00:25:36] — Called to reassure Dale about the cardiac stress test (lexi scan) procedure at Seton, saying there’s nothing to worry about Brief reassurance, Dale cut him off saying he wasn’t worried anyway
Quotes
I set an alarm for five twenty, I started around four thirty
Dale Dudley [00:02:17]
At some point if you have to, you sacrifice yourself
Dale Dudley [00:09:39]
Four minutes to get to the hospital. We’re not going to get to the hospital.
Dale Dudley [00:15:14]
You’re getting to watch a guy die on the air
Dale Dudley [00:27:17]
If you’re against gentrification, then buy property and do with it what you will
Dale Dudley [00:38:00]
Part 2: Klan Kerfuffle
The show dives deep into a viral video from Houston where white supremacists, Oath Keepers, and three percenters gathered to ‘protect’ the Sam Houston statue from removal — except it was a hoax. The groups ended up arguing with each other instead. Dale and Bob mock Trump’s cabinet meeting where everyone praises him effusively. Johnny Gowdy from Skyrocket visits to discuss performing at the upcoming 25th anniversary gala, revealing his relationship failed again and the hosts torture him with impromptu karaoke performances.
Segments
- Opening and gala tease [00:00:03] — Dale promotes the 8 a.m. gala announcement and mentions yesterday’s musical guests. He mangles Bruce Robeson and Kelly Willis’ names, calling them ‘Bruce Willis and Kelly Robeson.’
- Dale’s surgery stress and summer camps [00:01:31] — Dale discusses tomorrow’s surgery and family stress. His kids are at various camps including Pokemon camp and cooking camp, which he finds exhausting. He complains about being ‘old man at the dinner table.’
- Houston statue protest kerfuffle [00:05:55] — The show begins dissecting a viral video from Houston where various groups (Oath Keepers, three percenters, white supremacists) showed up to protect the Sam Houston statue from removal — which was a hoax perpetrated by trolls.
- Explaining the protest groups [00:08:23] — Bob explains the different groups: three percenters claim connection to Revolutionary War patriots (though their history is wrong), Oath Keepers are former cops/first responders, and various white supremacist factions. Everyone is vaping heavily.
- Sam Houston irony [00:12:10] — Bob points out the irony: Sam Houston was removed from office for refusing to join the Confederacy, so protecting his statue as a Confederate symbol makes no sense.
- Watching the protesters argue [00:13:13] — The hosts watch and mock the video as the different groups argue with each other. One bearded man proudly declares ‘I’m a racist, I don’t care.’ The Oath Keepers tell the racists to lower their signs, sparking conflict.
- Best moments from the protest [00:20:47] — The video includes a man challenging someone to fight but refusing to give his phone number on camera, someone in a baseball batting helmet, and the memorable line ‘We’re not LARPers!’ Nobody has a pen.
- Round Rock Hairy Man legend [00:28:28] — The Statesman reports on the legend of the Hairy Man of Round Rock, supposedly a boy who fell off a wagon on the Chisholm Trail and became feral. There’s an annual Hairy Man 5K that Daniel apparently never knew about despite living there.
- Trump considering firing Mueller [00:30:04] — Discussion of reports that Trump is considering firing special counsel Robert Mueller, with April Ryan saying there’s ‘mass hysteria in the West Wing.’
- Trump cabinet meeting praise-a-thon [00:32:03] — The hosts watch and mock Trump’s first cabinet meeting in six months, where he has everyone go around the table praising him effusively. Mike Pence says serving Trump is ‘the greatest privilege of my life.’ Rick Perry and others pile on the praise.
- Spectrum Business promo [00:39:53] — Bob delivers a sponsor read for Spectrum Business internet and voice services.
- Smirnoff ad and Bernie Sanders clip [00:40:01] — Dale shares a clever Smirnoff ad: ‘Made in America, but we’d be happy to talk about our ties to Russia under oath.’ Then plays Bernie Sanders grilling a Trump nominee who wrote that Muslims ‘stand condemned’ for rejecting Jesus.
- Johnny Gowdy arrives [00:43:12] — Johnny Gowdy from Skyrocket comes in to discuss performing at the gala. It’s revealed he backed out of the speed dating bit because he was getting back with his girlfriend — but they already broke up again after a week.
- Torture by karaoke [00:45:03] — The hosts force Johnny to sing ‘Hot Child in the City’ without warning, then Dale attempts Springsteen, followed by multiple terrible karaoke performances of REO Speedwagon, Air Supply, and The Commodores’ ‘Sail On.’
- Discussing gala songs [00:53:04] — Discussion of what songs Johnny might perform at the gala, with suggestions including Air Supply, Eric Carmen/Raspberries songs, and ‘Sail On.’ Dale fantasizes about performing in blackface with afro wigs (which Bob immediately shuts down).
Recurring Bits
- Roll the Gold [00:00:50] — 9:30 segment featuring classic bits, today’s is about Daniel thinking the Alamo was moved
Guests
- Johnny Gowdy (musician) [00:43:12] — From Skyrocket, coming in to discuss performing at the 25th anniversary gala. Reveals his relationship failed again and gets tortured with impromptu karaoke
Callers
- Michael [00:43:12] — Wanted to talk about Hairy Man but was cut off Dale told him to call back later because Johnny Gowdy was arriving
Music
- Steely Dan — Mentioned in context of ‘call a notes line’ still existing
- Johnny Gowdy — Performed ‘Hot Child in the City’ live in studio (partial)
Quotes
Keep it down, nerds.
Dale Dudley [00:02:43]
I’m a racist. I don’t care.
Protester in video [00:20:56]
You have a pen? Nobody has a pen?
Protester in video [00:24:44]
Made in America, but we’d be happy to talk about our ties to Russia under oath.
Dale Dudley [00:40:07]
Someone got lucky. Let’s talk about your night at Wendy’s.
Johnny Gowdy [00:45:47]