🎙️ First Hour Analysis 🎙️

Analysis of Matt & Bob Show 06-21-2022 Transcript (First Third)

Food items/restaurants talked about:

• Whataburger (00:32.519) – Matt jokes about bringing Whataburger makes you never late
• Donuts (00:41.089) – Mentioned as an alternative to being “the late guy”
• Coffee (02:27.738 – 03:35.112) – Extended discussion about Matt’s coffee maker disaster, forgetting to put the carafe back
• Canned tuna fish (12:17.777) – Matt mentions putting it at neighbor’s house to distract cockroaches
• Sandwich (12:52.012) – Joke about attracting roaches by “walking around the house half-naked eating a sandwich”

News stories talked about during this portion:

• Cockroach study offer (09:28.541 – 15:22.216) – Company offering $2,000 to homeowners who allow 100 cockroaches released in their house for 30-day treatment study; story sent by “Little Hickey”
• Hong Kong floating restaurant sinks (15:19.865 – 18:35.612) – Jumbo restaurant, 260 feet long, capsized while being towed to another country, now 3,000 feet underwater; story from listener Sherman
• Cartel monkey killed in Mexico (19:04.509 – 21:09.314) – Spider monkey wearing bulletproof vest and camouflage jacket killed in shootout with 11 gangsters; story from listener Adam Schultz

What was the “Click Click Boom” segment about? Please list any clickbait news the hosts mention:

The segment was called “Nod’s to the Odd” (09:22.434), not “Click Click Boom.” Stories covered:

• Cockroach infestation study ($2,000 payment offer)
• Hong Kong floating restaurant capsizing
• Cartel monkey killed in shootout

Funny moments or memorable quotes during this portion:

• 00:32.519 – “If you bring Whataburger, you’re never late. Isn’t that the slogan?”
• 01:26.318 – Bob introduces Matt as “former star of episodic television, amateur porn, and a man who can absorb 47 times his own weight and excess acid”
• 03:07.066 – Matt’s coffee disaster: “I was leaving the house and realized I have a huge mess to try to clean up before I can go to work”
• 05:15.704 – Discussion about high school counterfeiter Janice who used coffee to dye fake $20 bills
• 06:30.907 – “Should we have a contest in this room to see who can make the best counterfeit bill?”
• 07:13.051 – “Hey, if the feds can print it, why can’t we? Why can’t we be friends?”
• 11:22.576 – “How many roaches you got?” / “I don’t have any” / “Roaches can’t afford to live out in his neighborhood”
• 12:17.777 – Matt’s roach defense: “I train the squirrels. I give the squirrels little AKs”
• 14:49.193 – Matt describing roaches surviving fire: “I turned it over and a hundred cockroaches came out… You all just hung out inside that log and that fire all night long”
• 20:02.125 – About the cartel monkey: “Who was the a-hole even for a cartel that was like, make sure you get the monkey over there?”
• 20:24.113 – “Come on, press. You don’t got to do the monkey like that. You don’t need to show the diaper”
• 21:49.160 – Chewy announces getting advertising on his body or bag for disc golf
• 24:00.522 – About Chewy’s birdie: “Easy birdie. How close? 15 yards. 20 feet.”
• 24:52.160 – Matt on his fun day: “I took everything out of my refrigerator and then cleaned the bottoms of all the jars”
• 27:02.711 – Matt: “I’m training a monkey to dodge bullets. I sell them into Mexican cartels”

Phone callers this portion:

• Tony (28:23.561 – 29:57.696) – Called to tell Chewy he needs to admit he’s at a “turning point” and embrace being a disc golfer; discussed Chewy refusing to wear the disc golf t-shirt that nurse Miranda sent him

5 paragraph summary on Bob’s Rock and Roll News segment:

Bob Fonseca opened his Rock and Roll News segment with an apology for his performance the previous day, blaming a “weird morning mix of alcohol and prescription medication” that caused him to misstep during reporting. He then moved into the day’s stories with his characteristic flair, addressing the audience as “rock and rollers.”

The main story celebrated Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys turning 80 years old on the same weekend as Paul McCartney. Bob explained the rivalry between the Beatles and Beach Boys, noting how they competed creatively—the Beach Boys heard “Rubber Soul” and created “Pet Sounds,” which inspired the Beatles to create “Sgt. Pepper’s.” Wilson received belated justice when Hawthorne High School’s current principal changed a grade from an F to an A for his composition “Surfin’,” which his music teacher Fred Morgan had originally failed. The song went on to sell millions of copies.

Bob reported that legendary producer Steve Albini, known for producing Nirvana’s “In Utero” and the Pixies’ “Surfer Rosa,” won over $196,000 at the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas. This marked Albini’s second career win, having previously won a WSOP bracelet in 2018. Bob noted that Albini also plays guitar in the band Shellac.

The Rolling Stones’ tour update revealed that Mick Jagger would resume performing in Milan after recovering from COVID, though they had to completely cancel their Switzerland show in Bern because the arena couldn’t accommodate a makeup date. Bob then addressed the phenomenon of crowds singing along to Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline,” particularly the “so good, so good” part, which he found “cringey.” He played footage of Diamond performing the song at Fenway Park in Boston, noting that Diamond appeared to be struggling vocally and that his microphone was turned down considerably.

Bob concluded the segment by announcing Billy Idol’s return to Las Vegas in November, with five dates starting Friday, November 11th at the Chelsea Inside the Cosmopolitan. He recommended the venue based on personal experience and predicted the shows would sell out as they had previously. Bob then jokingly corrected himself, saying he meant to announce Billy Eilish instead of Billy Idol, adding his signature humor to close out the rock news.

Bands talked about during Bob’s rock and roll news segment:

• The Beatles
• The Beach Boys
• Nirvana
• Pixies
• Shellac
• The Rolling Stones

3 paragraph summary of this portion of the show – excluding Bob’s Rock and Roll news:

The show opened with Bob Fonseca filling in as host while Matt Bearden arrived late, joking that bringing Whataburger excuses lateness. Matt finally arrived with just a cup of coffee, explaining he’d had a disastrous morning after his wife left for a month-long trip out of state. He had forgotten to put the carafe back in his auto-timer coffee maker, resulting in coffee flooding his entire kitchen countertop and seeping under everything. The hosts bantered about coffee stains, with Matt reminiscing about school projects where students would stain paper with coffee to make fake parchment, which led to a story about a high school classmate named Janice who counterfeited $20 bills using coffee dye and art pencils. This sparked a humorous discussion about counterfeiting, with the hosts joking about training squirrels with AKs and whether they should hold a counterfeit money-making contest, before pivoting to cryptocurrency and Bitcoin’s recent market struggles.

Chewy announced his first birdie in disc golf on hole 15 at Wells Branch course, using a driver disc that Fish had given him, landing within 15-20 feet of the basket. Despite the achievement, Chewy refused to identify as a disc golfer or wear the t-shirt that listener nurse Miranda had sent him, leading caller Tony to insist Chewy admit he’s at a “turning point.” Matt theorized that Chewy sees himself as “the cool disc golfer,” above the other players, like someone who shows up to a D&D tournament believing they’re not really a nerd. The discussion revealed that 60% of families haven’t taken vacations in over three years, prompting talk about the hosts’ lack of fun activities—Matt defended himself by proudly describing how he spent his day cleaning his refrigerator.

The “Nod’s to the Odd” segment featured three bizarre news stories. First, a company offered $2,000 to homeowners willing to have 100 cockroaches released in their house for a 30-day treatment study, sparking an extended conversation about cockroach infestations, their survival abilities, and Matt’s ongoing battle with them at his creek-side property with pecan trees. Second, Hong Kong’s famous four-story floating Jumbo restaurant, which had served over three million guests including Queen Elizabeth II and Tom Cruise, capsized while being towed to another country and now sits 3,000 feet underwater, leading Matt to joke about insurance fraud. Third, a spider monkey wearing a bulletproof vest, camouflage jacket, and diaper was killed in a Mexican cartel shootout alongside 11 gangsters, prompting the hosts to lament the press mentioning the monkey’s diaper and joke about sending bananas to the monkey’s family, with Chewy dubbing it “Too Soon Chewie.”

⏰ Second Hour Analysis ⏰

Analysis of Radio Show Transcript (Second Third)

Food items/restaurants talked about:

44:17-46:29 – Vacation and travel discussion

• Schlitterbahn water park mentioned

46:29-56:50 – Austin Queso Segment (Extensive discussion)

• Torchy’s Tacos – Green chili queso with melted cheddar, roasted New Mexico chilies, hatch green chilies, guacamole, Diablo sauce
• Trudy’s North Star – Classic queso with specialty cheese blend (top secret mixture), loaded queso with refried beans, seasoned ground beef, avocado salsa, sour cream, pickled jalapenos, pico de gallo, cotija cheese
• Kerbey Lane Cafe – Kerbey queso (late night spot)
• Matt’s El Rancho – Bob Armstrong dip with taco meat and fresh guac, served with large chips
• Casa Garcia’s – mentioned by Chuy after disc golf
• Magnolia Cafe – Mag mud with black beans
• Kura’s Grill – Queso with Land O’ Lakes processed cheese, black beans, guac, and pico
• Valentina’s Tex-Mex BBQ – Queso with layered flavor profile, powerful spicy kick, looser texture for drizzling over tacos
• Amaya’s – mentioned as place they go regularly but queso is “just okay”
• Chewy’s (tourist spot)
• General mentions: Queso fundido with chorizo, Oaxacan cheese, rajas (peppers and onions), Velveeta cheese, American processed cheese

News stories talked about during this portion:

46:00-46:29 – Brief mention of Austin news being full of “shootings, stabbings, stabbings, shootings, murder, murder, murder” in last 72-84 hours

56:59-1:03:13 – Extensive Uvalde school shooting discussion

• New timeline information coming out
• Ballistic shields arrived in approximately 12 minutes (not hours as previously stated)
• Heavily armed police officers were present but told to stand down
• Uvalde ISD police stopped releasing information
• DPS (Department of Public Safety) appears to be covering information
• Freedom of Information Act requests refused
• Parents being denied information
• City arresting people at press conferences
• Multiple cops had kids in the school and went to get their own kids out
• Communication breakdown discussed
• Comparison made to corruption in other countries
• John Cornyn got booed by his own party, blamed Hillary Clinton for potential end of democracy

1:02:25-1:02:47 – Brief mention of Afghanistan and Ukraine conflicts

Interesting facts shared during this portion:

48:03-48:23 – Chuy worked at Trudy’s for a few months at the 183 location

53:34-55:18 – Magnolia Cafe and Kerbey Lane used to be the same cafe before a divorce split them up

53:53-54:08 – Taco Cabana family had a feud (Two Pesos and Taco Cabana)

54:32-55:08 – Kura’s history: In late 90s/early 2000s was a “see and be seen” place where Austin’s artists and musicians hung out; known for having attractive waitstaff; Andrew Shapter married a waitress from there

56:42-56:50 – Barbecue places in Austin are typically closed on Mondays

Toxic Tuesday segment:

1:03:13-1:19:02 – Yes, there was a Toxic Tuesday segment

Topic: Two relationship advice questions submitted via email to [email protected]

First Question (1:04:02-1:18:28):

• 30-year-old female dating a man close to 40
• Dating almost a year, living together
• He got laid off 3 months ago, struggling to find work
• She’s been helping him financially but unhappy about it
• Has a big trip coming up, doesn’t want to continue supporting him
• Doesn’t want to feel guilty about stopping financial support

Hosts’ Takes:

• Bob: Kick him to the curb; he’s running a “long con”; playing her; if he really loved her he’d get any job to contribute; there’s work everywhere in Austin (mentioned $22/hour jobs available, 7-Eleven, post office); he’s telling her who he is – someone who won’t work when married; called her a “30-year-old spinster” who didn’t do due diligence
• Matt: Give him an ultimatum (he kept saying “old tomato”); have a conversation about needing contribution; 25% of their year-long relationship he’s been living off her; not saying he’s not a man but may have mental health/depression issues; she’s turning from lover into mother figure; need to motivate him
• Chuy: Support your partner; let him try new things; protect your kings; when he “glows up” she’ll regret leaving; someone who’s down won’t always be down; she should help him out with bills; wants “everybody to win”
• Disagreement: Chuy took more of the boyfriend’s side, while Bob and Matt were more critical

Second Question (1:18:28-1:19:02):

• Man called his wife by a different name that morning
• Wife is upset
• Wants to know how to reassure her it was an accident

Hosts’ Takes:

• Bob: “No foul” since they weren’t in the act; “That’s what she’s upset about today. Tomorrow will be a different thing. We’re married.” Said “Hey, at least I’m talking to you, bitch.”
• Segment ended quickly without much resolution

Phone callers this portion:

No phone callers during this portion – only email submissions for Toxic Tuesday

Funny or memorable quotes this portion:

45:00 – Bob: “I don’t love myself, Matt.”

45:23 – Matt: “Well, there you go, ladies and gentlemen.”

47:12 – Bob (about queso): “When most people, by most people I mean, gringos.”

49:05 – Chuy: “I am an honest food reviewer.”

50:55-51:10 – Exchange about Trudy’s and drunk girls: Bob: “That used to be a really good place to meet drunk girls.” Discussion about late-night Kerbey queso habits

51:27-51:51 – Bob to Matt: “You’re a drinker and you never had fun, so you may not know this” / Matt: “Wow, he’s really… He’s coming at me today.” / Bob: “You just came at me in a queso.”

51:51 – Matt to Chuy: “You’re high and playing video games and Bob’s sitting in his bed awake, stressed about his life.”

52:43 – Bob: “I don’t want to see y’all as queso, guys.”

1:00:05 – Bob on media conspiracy theories: “You ever try to get four people to make a decision on where to go to dinner and you think 100,000 people are all in cahoots?”

1:01:28 – John Cornyn blaming Hillary Clinton, Bob’s response: “she never got higher than secretary of state… Most people can’t even name who the secretary of the state.”

1:09:12 – Chuy: “Women don’t want to date a guy. He’s waiting for the big gig.”

1:14:28 – Matt: “This 30-year-old spinster didn’t do her due diligence or research this guy.”

1:16:07 – Chuy: “You don’t know he’s playing 2K. That’s a stereotype.”

1:18:02 – Chuy: “You can let him go and he’s gonna go through a glow up.”

1:18:43 – Bob on his wife calling situation: “Hey, at least I’m talking to you, bitch.”

Guests in the studio or special visitors:

1:19:02-1:23:02 – Steve Trevino discussion and audio clip

• Texas comedian coming on air later
• Discussed his career trajectory – was “in the trenches” for a long time in Texas clubs
• His comedy is “relatable” and “Seinfeldian” – observational comedy about relationships and marriage
• Has a special called “Till Death” (out now about COVID lockdown)
• Another special “I Speak Wife” coming out
• They played a clip from his act about his wife losing her phone and keys

Recurring jokes or gags:

• Bob’s cynicism and pessimism about relationships
• Matt being called out for not drinking/partying when younger
• Disc golf references (Chuy’s new hobby)
• Bob’s insomnia/nighttime anxiety
• Chuy’s positive attitude vs. Bob’s negativity
• The “woke” accusations
• References to their regular restaurant (Amaya’s)

5 Paragraph Summary:

The second third of this June 21, 2022 episode of Matt & Bob begins with casual conversation about family vacations versus couples’ trips, with Bob expressing his cynical view that traveling with kids is a “trip” while going without them is a true “vacation.” Matt counters that he enjoys watching his children experience the world, leading Bob to jokingly ask if Matt ever loved his kids, to which Bob responds “I don’t love myself, Matt.” The banter continues with mentions of Schlitterbahn and swimsuit humor before transitioning into the day’s Austin news segment.

Instead of covering the recent wave of shootings and stabbings dominating Austin headlines, Bob decides to focus on something more positive: the best queso in Austin. The extensive discussion covers multiple restaurants including Torchy’s Tacos (with their green chili queso), Trudy’s North Star (where Chuy once worked), Kerbey Lane Cafe (famous for late-night drunk queso runs), Matt’s El Rancho (home of the iconic Bob Armstrong dip), and Valentina’s Tex-Mex BBQ (a dark horse contender with award-winning barbecue tacos). The hosts share personal stories about these establishments, including revelations that Magnolia Cafe and Kerbey Lane were once the same establishment before a divorce, and that Kura’s Grill was a hotspot for Austin’s artistic community in the late 90s and early 2000s.

The show takes a serious turn as Matt addresses the ongoing Uvalde school shooting investigation, expressing frustration at what he sees as a “failed state” situation. New information reveals that ballistic shields arrived within 12 minutes (not hours as initially reported), yet heavily armed officers were told to stand down while the shooter remained active. Matt criticizes the complete information blackout from Uvalde ISD, DPS, and the governor’s office, noting that Freedom of Information Act requests are being denied and journalists are being arrested at press conferences. He draws parallels to corruption in other countries where governments protect wrongdoers, and expresses concern that the lack of transparency is fueling conspiracy theories while parents are denied basic information about what happened to their children.

The show’s Toxic Tuesday segment premieres with Chuy soliciting relationship advice questions via email. The first case involves a 30-year-old woman supporting her nearly-40-year-old boyfriend who has been unemployed for three months of their year-long relationship. Bob immediately takes a hard stance, calling it a “long con” and insisting the boyfriend is deliberately taking advantage of her, arguing that jobs are plentiful in Austin and the man should take any work available rather than living off his girlfriend. Matt suggests giving an ultimatum while acknowledging possible mental health issues, noting that by not contributing, the boyfriend is turning his lover into a mother figure. Chuy surprisingly defends the boyfriend, arguing that partners should support each other and warning that if she leaves him now, he might “glow up” and she’ll regret it, encouraging her to “protect your king.”

The segment wraps up with a quick second question about a man who called his wife by the wrong name, to which Bob dismissively responds that it’s just today’s complaint and there will be a different one tomorrow – adding “at least I’m talking to you, bitch” to illustrate his point. The show then transitions to discussing upcoming guest Steve Trevino, a Texas comedian whose relatable, Seinfeldian observational comedy has gained significant traction. They play a clip from his special about his “perfect” wife who constantly loses her phone and keys, demonstrating his accessible humor style. The hosts invite listeners to submit their relationship problems to [email protected] for future Toxic Tuesday segments, emphasizing the need to include “fm” in the email address.

🕐 Third Hour Analysis 🕐

Analysis of Radio Show Transcript (Final Third)

Food or restaurants talked about during this portion:

• Cap City Comedy Club in Austin is awaiting certificate of occupancy to reopen (01:23:08)
• Discussion of barbecues mentioned in context of the new Cap City owners (01:23:11)

News stories talked about during this portion:

• Nude Pickleball – Naturist resorts across the country are adding pickleball courts to meet demand; Cypress Cove nudist resort in Kissimmee, Florida has 172 dues-paying members playing nude pickleball (01:46:58-01:48:07)
• Pickleball vs. Tennis Turf Wars in San Diego – Conflicts have escalated into shouting matches at public hearings over converting tennis courts to pickleball courts; four pickleball courts can fit on one tennis court (01:50:10-01:54:23)

Interesting facts shared during this portion:

• Ramin Nazer, former show friend, painted the backdrop to both stages in the new Cap City Comedy Club (01:24:22)
• Ramin has a site called Rainbow Brainskull with comic books, t-shirts, and over a million followers (01:24:16)
• Pickleball at Cypress Cove nudist resort started 14 years ago when a visiting English couple drew chalk lines on tennis courts (01:47:02)
• Steve Trevino’s audience is 70% female despite his act focusing on frustrations with his wife (01:33:02)
• Steve Trevino’s organization “Helicopters for Heroes” raised $800,000 for veterans last year (01:47:39)
• A man has been bicycling around the world for 19 years using only human power, including pedal-powered boats across the Atlantic and Pacific (01:58:04)

Memorable moments during this portion:

• Matt expressing frustration that Ramin Nazer was in town for a week painting at Cap City but didn’t call him (01:23:42)
• Matt joking that people think he’s dead or severely disabled from his stroke (01:26:00)
• Steve Trevino accidentally calling his wife “my mom” on air and the hosts reassuring him “you’re amongst friends” (01:35:14)
• Steve’s story about his father’s response when asked why he can’t say “I love you”: “Do you tell your wife you love her? Every day. And look how she treats you.” (01:36:00)
• Steve’s morning routine with his wife: “I wake up in the morning and I go, look, I’m sorry. You’re the best. I’m the worst.” (01:35:02)
• Chewy dismissing world travel by saying European landmarks are “just on a screensaver everywhere else” (01:59:27)
• Matt’s frustration with Chewy’s lack of wanderlust: “Isn’t there something else you want to do with your life besides get up, work, and then die one day?” (02:01:35)

Guests on the show:

• Steve Trevino (comedian) – Interviewed from approximately 01:27:20 to 01:45:20
• Discussed his career starting at Addison Improv in Dallas
• Talked about working with the late Freddie Soto on the Three Amigos tour
• Explained his decision to leave the Hollywood comedy scene to focus on family
• Discussed his brand as “America’s Favorite Husband”
• Mentioned being together with his wife for 15 years (7 years living together before marriage)
• Promoted his podcast “Steven Captain Evil”
• Discussed his November 5th show at the Paramount Theatre in Austin
• Talked about filming a special in Waco during the pandemic at outdoor venues
• Mentioned upcoming shows: September 9th in Dallas, September 22nd in San Antonio

“This or That” segment:

The hosts played Steve Trevino’s comedy bit “My Wife is Perfect” before his call (01:33:15)

Predictions made during this portion:

• Matt predicts Cap City Comedy Club might have a soft opening mid-July with J.R. Brow booked for one night (01:26:18)

Five Paragraph Summary:

The final third of the show opened with Matt discussing Cap City Comedy Club’s frustrating delays in obtaining a certificate of occupancy from the city of Austin. He revealed that old friend of the show Ramin Nazer had been in town for a week painting the backdrop for both stages at the new Cap City, which upset Matt since Ramin didn’t call to visit. Matt explained that Ramin has become very successful with his Rainbow Brainskull brand, featuring comic books and small panel comics with over a million followers, and is also doing podcasts and retreat weekends about consciousness expansion with another former show friend, Shane Moss.

The main guest segment featured comedian Steve Trevino calling in during what Matt noted was probably his fourth interview of ten that morning. Steve discussed his comedy career trajectory, starting at the door of the Addison Improv in Dallas and working with the late Freddie Soto on the Three Amigos tour. He explained his decision to leave the Hollywood comedy scene and the Comedy Store, realizing he didn’t want to be “40 at the comedy store at 3 a.m.” and instead wanted to focus on his family. Steve credited looking up to comedians like Jeff Foxworthy, Jim Gaffigan, and Brian Regan who built careers outside the traditional system.

Steve’s conversation with the hosts revealed touching details about his personal life and the inspiration for his comedy brand as “America’s Favorite Husband.” He shared that despite talking about frustrations with his wife on stage, 70% of his audience is female because they recognize genuine love in his act. He and his wife have been together for 15 years (married for eight after she gave him an ultimatum following seven years of “living in sin”). Steve also discussed his difficult relationship with expressing emotion, relating a story about his Latino military father who told him “I don’t want you to take advantage of me” when asked why he couldn’t say “I love you,” explaining that his father showed love through provision rather than words.

Bob introduced a trending news story about nude pickleball becoming popular at naturist resorts across the country, with Cypress Cove in Florida having 172 dues-paying members and expanding from two courts to many over 14 years. This led to discussion of turf wars in San Diego between tennis players and pickleball enthusiasts, as four pickleball courts can fit on one tennis court, causing conflicts at public hearings. The hosts found it amusing that such serious disputes were happening over what they considered a relatively minor sport.

The show concluded with Matt discussing his current viewing habits while his family is out of state, mentioning the “Long Way” series with Ewan McGregor where he and Charlie Boorman travel the world on motorcycles. Matt became animated describing people they encountered who were truly living adventurously, including a man who has been bicycling around the world for 19 years using only human power, even pedaling across oceans. This led to a contentious exchange with Chewy, who dismissed world travel as unnecessary since you can see landmarks “on a screensaver,” which genuinely frustrated Matt, who challenged him: “Isn’t there something else you want to do with your life besides get up, work, and then die one day?”