🎙️ First Hour Analysis 🎙️

Analysis of Matt & Bob Show 05-31-2023 Transcript (First Third)

Funny Moments and Memorable Quotes

• 00:47.821 – Matt: “When will we learn, Chewie?” Chewie: “Never. We want to get close to you.”
• 02:40.690 – Bob describes Chewie: “He’s already beat [diseases]. He beat them by not getting them.”
• 03:15.528-03:18.653 – Awkward exchange about Chewie never having “promiscuous times with anybody”
• 04:05.108-04:08.272 – Starting lineup introduction: “That man’s name? I was tossing and turning all night.”
• 05:18.222-05:26.125 – Bob’s realization: “We should know by now that there’s no reason why we should broadcast the week after school ends.”
• 07:33.875-07:37.680 – Matt’s crystal ball joke about knowing AC would be out
• 08:32.847 – Chewie: “I need about 10 inches of powder myself” (referring to snow)
• 09:36.156 – Bob: “I saw one of the GMs wearing a sweater. It’s cold in here.”
• 10:01.287-10:03.489 – Bob on Bobby Bones: “How do you keep the stories interesting if you’ve never smoked crack or something?”
• 23:02.760-23:09.070 – On Green Day: “When I tell you that Green Day is almost as manufactured as Kiss, you’ve got to take my word for it.”
• 37:01.726-37:02.990 – Bob: “Do you think Metallica will come out with a Metallica black coffee?”

Click Click Boom Segment

Timestamp: 13:23.488-30:35.075

The segment discussed the “Top 10 Saddest Songs” list. Clickbait songs mentioned:

• Number 10 – Evanescence, “Hello”
• Number 9 – Led Zeppelin, “Stairway to Heaven” (Bob disputed this being sad)
• Number 8 – The Fray, “How to Save a Life”
• Number 7 – Pink Floyd, “Wish You Were Here”
• Number 6 – Eminem, “Stan”
• Number 5 – Evanescence, “My Immortal”
• Number 4 – Green Day, “Wake Me Up When September Ends”
• Number 3 – The Beatles, “Yesterday”
• Number 2 – Johnny Cash, “Hurt”
• Number 1 – Eric Clapton, “Tears in Heaven”

Bob disputed several choices throughout, suggesting sadder alternatives from the same artists.

Phone Callers

Timestamp: 23:33.565-25:08.723

Caller: Robert

• Called to discuss Evanescence
• Mentioned attending a Muse concert where Evanescence opened
• Described Evanescence as “Jesus jam” music – “a little too clean to be that heavy”
• Bob and Robert agreed the band has Christian undertones

Bob’s Rock and Roll News Segment

Bob’s Rock and Roll News aired from approximately 31:01.613 to 44:06.137. The segment covered several entertainment and music industry stories despite Bob’s exhausted state and the sweltering studio conditions.

The first story focused on Al Pacino becoming a father at age 82 or 83 with his 29-year-old girlfriend Noor Alfallah, creating a 54-year age gap. Bob framed this as inherently rock and roll, connecting it to Pacino’s portrayal of Phil Spector in an HBO series. He humorously compared it to his own 15-year age gap with his wife, noting that Pacino already has three children with actress Beverly D’Angelo from National Lampoon’s Vacation.

The Rolling Stones collaboration with Keurig coffee makers drew Bob’s particular ire. The “Start Me Up” iced coffee kit features the band’s iconic tongue logo on a Keurig K Iced Brewer, along with a special tumbler, exclusive K-Cup blend, and Spotify playlist supposedly curated by band members. Bob expressed cynicism about this corporate partnership, suggesting Mick Jagger probably doesn’t even know about it and has simply hired a firm to license the band’s imagery for anything that generates revenue. He lamented that this dilutes the Stones’ legacy, especially after he had recently argued they might be better than the Beatles.

Motley Crüe received a brief mention for sharing tour videos, and Machine Gun Kelly’s new single “Pressure” featuring Pete Davidson got coverage. Bob joked about casting Pete Davidson as Superman, with Chewie making an inappropriate comment about wanting to see Davidson in tights. The discussion of MGK’s song about feeling “dejected and misunderstood” resonated with Bob given his current exhausted state.

The most passionate portion of the segment addressed congressional action against Ticketmaster, though Bob carefully avoided naming the company directly, claiming they had contacted his management. He revealed losing thousands of dollars during the Bruce Springsteen ticket sales fiasco and feeling “rooked.” The newly proposed “Boss and Swift Act,” named after Springsteen and Taylor Swift, aims to require all-in pricing disclosure and limit unauthorized markups. Bob expressed disappointment that these artists didn’t protect their fans, though he acknowledged uncertainty about whether they were fully informed about the ticketing model. The proposed legislation is co-sponsored by Democratic Congressmen Bill Pascrell Jr. and Frank Poloni Jr.

Rock and Roll Shoutout/Salute

Timestamp: 42:28.443-43:20.083

Bob gave a rock and roll salute to the cast and crew of “Leverage,” a Michael Sharon film that both Bob and Chewie had just worked on. Bob thanked them for letting them “play in their sandbox” and praised the professional crew. Chewie had just gotten off set an hour before the show.

Bands Talked About During Rock and Roll News

• Phil Spector (as producer/artist)
• Rolling Stones
• Motley Crüe
• Machine Gun Kelly
• Dua Lipa
• Mark Ronson
• Bad Company
• Mott the Hoople
• Ian Hunter
• Mick Ronson
• David Bowie
• Bruce Springsteen
• Taylor Swift
• Nina Simone (mentioned as recent record purchase)
• David Ruffin (mentioned as recent record purchase)

3-Paragraph Summary (Excluding Rock and Roll News)

The May 31st, 2023 episode of Matt & Bob began with only two of the three hosts present – Bob Fonseca and producer Chewie – as Matt Bearden had taken the week off for vacation in Mexico. Both remaining hosts were severely exhausted and irritable, with Bob getting almost no sleep and Chewie coming directly from a 90-degree film set where he’d been working on the movie “Leverage.” The studio’s air conditioning had been out for the second consecutive day, making conditions nearly unbearable. The hosts repeatedly lamented their poor planning, noting that the entire city had apparently taken the week off after school ended, with traffic nearly non-existent and presumably everyone vacationing in Destin, Florida or other destinations. Bob was particularly stressed about undone income taxes, his mother’s estate going into probate, and a complete lack of self-care since January.

The show featured an extended “Click Click Boom” segment discussing a clickbait article about the “Top 10 Saddest Songs.” Bob, as a self-described rock journalist, disputed many of the choices, particularly “Stairway to Heaven” by Led Zeppelin at number 9, which he argued wasn’t sad at all and that other Zeppelin songs like “Since I’ve Been Loving You” or “Tangerine” were far sadder. The list included two Evanescence songs, which neither host was familiar with, leading to jokes about it being music for “sad goth girls.” A caller named Robert chimed in about Evanescence, describing them as “Jesus jam” music that’s “too clean to be that heavy.” Bob was most accepting of Johnny Cash’s “Hurt” at number 2 and Eric Clapton’s “Tears in Heaven” at number 1, praising the acoustic version from Clapton’s Unplugged album.

Throughout the morning, the hosts’ exhaustion led to increasingly delirious and funny exchanges, including discussions about Green Day being “manufactured,” Bob’s expensive Bruce Springsteen ticket fiasco, and various tangents about vacation planning failures. Bob repeatedly joked about strangling the person who wrote the sad songs list with his microphone cable. The show maintained its humor despite the difficult conditions, with both hosts acknowledging they should have taken the week off like apparently everyone else in Austin. They promoted upcoming events including a trivia contest in July, another comedy show, and announced that comedian Sawyer Stull would be joining them later in the broadcast, with Tony Casillas scheduled for the following day.

⏰ Second Hour Analysis ⏰

Analysis of Radio Show Transcript (Second Third)

Food Items/Restaurants Talked About

• Tacos – Sawyer Stoll brought tacos from a place attached to a washateria (approximately 1:10:00-1:11:00)
• Ken’s Tacos – Mentioned as a usual morning show spot
• El Dorado – Another regular taco spot mentioned
• Street tacos – Discussion about eating 15 in 10 minutes (1:09:45)
• Hostess Ding-Dongs – Bob mentioned as potential food eating contest item (1:09:00)
• Tamales – Bob considered for food eating contest
• Hot dogs – Sawyer competed in a hot dog eating contest, ate 8.5 dogs (1:07:00-1:09:00)
• HEB rotisserie chicken – Caller Christie discussed eating it while shopping (1:13:15)
• King crab – Bob mentioned wanting after hearing a song (1:04:25)
• Horchata and coffee – Sawyer brought these beverages (1:06:33)
• Michelob – Sawyer brought beer to the studio (1:05:35)

News Stories Talked About

• Bee Swarm Attack (52:58-59:18) – Seven people hurt at Richard Moya Park in southeast Austin on Monday evening. Vern Roberts had over 600 bee stings while mowing his yard; his wife Mary had almost 50 stings. Walter Schumacher from American Honey Bee Protection Agency provided conflicting safety advice.
• Serial Killer Arrest (1:00:08-1:03:45) – Raul Mesa, 62, arrested in Pflugerville area. Confessed to murdering roommate Jesse Frogger at 80, implicated in murder of Gloria Loftin, 66 in 2019, and a cold case from 1982. Not related to the Rainy Street killer the show had been following.

Predictions Made

• Bob predicted he would relaunch his YouTube channel in June with a new look and attitude (50:38)
• Bob announced launching a new channel called “United States of Analog” about gear and records (50:47)

Interesting Facts Shared

• Polaroid is still in business with vice presidents (48:15)
• Coffee filters come in multiple sizes (1:31:00)
• The glizzy gobbler won the hot dog eating contest with 13 dogs (1:08:32)
• There’s a company that 3D prints houses (1:24:30)
• Joan Jett concert is the station’s 50th anniversary show, around August 15th at Round Rock Amphitheater (49:08)

Phone Callers This Portion

• Christie (1:13:15) – Grown ass woman who can’t eat rotisserie chicken at HEB while shopping
• Pest Control Chris (1:18:27) – Can’t touch thermostats due to childhood trauma; connected to Sawyer through mutual friend Ty/Tiberius from Wonderworld caves
• Hollywood Caller (1:21:43) – Can’t roll a joint without a dollar bill
• Kirk (1:23:00) – Can’t frame a wall out of wood but can build with metal
• Richard (1:25:13) – Can’t read his wife’s mind; she’s upset he spends more on guns than her
• Buck (1:28:48) – Has urinal issues and tips too much at food trucks
• Julie (1:30:22) – Can’t use a coffee maker properly, spilled coffee on herself

Funny or Memorable Quotes

• “What if these punk ass bees can’t take you one on one?” – Chewy about bee swarms (53:04)
• “I’d be a serial killer if I lived in Pflugerville.” – Sawyer (1:01:03)
• “Dog bless ya” – Sawyer’s catchphrase (1:04:40)
• “Hey, water’s a human right, Bob.” – Sawyer (1:06:09)
• “You’re no better than that serial killer.” – Chewy to Bob about stealing from the fridge (1:12:07)
• “I mean, look at the color of my skin. What do I know about tacos?” – Sawyer (1:10:32)
• “Life is a drop of piss on underwear.” – Caller Buck (1:29:41)

Guests in the Studio or Special Visitors

Sawyer Stoll – Comedian, in studio throughout this portion. He brought tacos, horchata, coffee, and Michelob beer. Recently had a birthday, competed in a hot dog eating contest over Memorial Day weekend, and is currently unemployed and enjoying it.

Recurring Jokes or Gags

• The broken air conditioning in the studio (mentioned multiple times)
• Bob’s inability to perform basic tasks (coffee making, tipping, finding the thermostat)
• The station’s awards not helping with practical problems
• References to Bob’s YouTube channel and online communities
• Jokes about Sawyer’s skin color and taco expertise
• TPT (Trailer Park Trash/Total Piece of Trash) references

“Grown Ass Man” Segment

Topic: Things grown adults still can’t do

Participants and their responses:

• Sawyer Stoll: Can’t avoid throwing a fit when his Dallas Stars get eliminated from playoffs (1:21:35)
• Chewy: Can’t bake; tried cornbread once successfully but ruins most things (1:20:00); Can’t barbecue or smoke meats properly (1:20:45)
• Bob: Can’t tip properly to get better seats (tried in Vegas at Beatles Love show with only $20) (1:16:40); Can’t use a coffee maker (1:30:30)
• Christie: Can’t stop herself from eating rotisserie chicken while grocery shopping (1:13:15)
• Pest Control Chris: Can’t touch the thermostat due to father yelling at him as a kid (1:18:50)
• Hollywood Caller: Can’t roll a joint without using a dollar bill (1:21:50)
• Kirk: Can’t frame a wall out of wood, only works with metal (1:23:07)
• Richard: Can’t read his wife’s mind (1:25:25)
• Buck: Gets drops on underwear at urinals when crowded; tips default amount at food trucks even when it’s 30% (1:28:48)
• Julie: Can’t properly use a coffee maker; forgot basket and spilled coffee on her legs (1:30:22)

Five Paragraph Summary

This portion of the Matt & Bob show from May 31, 2023 featured comedian Sawyer Stoll as the main guest, who brought tacos from a washateria-attached restaurant along with horchata, coffee, and Michelob beer. The studio was suffering from broken air conditioning for the second day, making everyone uncomfortable despite the show recently winning awards. Bob discussed upcoming station events including their 50th anniversary Joan Jett concert at Round Rock Amphitheater around August 15th, and announced plans to relaunch his YouTube channel and start a new channel called “United States of Analog” focused on gear and records.

The news segment covered two local stories that sparked considerable discussion. The first involved a bee swarm attack at Richard Moya Park where Vern Roberts received over 600 bee stings while mowing his lawn, with his wife Mary getting almost 50 stings. The hosts found the expert advice from the American Honey Bee Protection Agency confusing and contradictory, particularly instructions to hold your breath while running away from bees. The second story concerned the arrest of 62-year-old serial killer Raul Mesa in Pflugerville, who confessed to multiple murders including his roommate and cases dating back to 1982, though this wasn’t the Rainy Street killer the audience had been following.

Sawyer Stoll shared entertaining stories about his recent unemployment activities, including competing in a hot dog eating contest over Memorial Day weekend where he consumed 8.5 hot dogs. He described the competition in detail, including a woman in leather pants who vomited into her hand, and “the glizzy gobbler” who won with 13 dogs. Sawyer explained his technique of trying to rip the dogs in half, though he criticized the grilling method used, insisting competition dogs should be boiled for the proper “snap.” He also discussed being a passionate Dallas Stars fan who can’t control his emotions when they lose in the playoffs.

The main segment featured “Grown Ass Man” where callers and the hosts shared things they still can’t do as adults. Topics ranged from practical skills like using coffee makers, framing walls, and barbecuing, to social anxieties like tipping at food trucks and urinal etiquette. Pest Control Chris shared that childhood trauma from his father prevents him from touching thermostats, while Richard called about his inability to read his wife’s mind, revealing she’s upset he spends more on guns than on her. Bob shared advice from comedian Craig Shoemaker about acknowledging rather than trying to fix partners’ feelings.

Throughout the show, the broken vending machine and lack of cold drinks became a running joke, with Bob eventually deciding to steal something from the community refrigerator for the first time in his 31-year career. The banter between Bob, Chewy, and Sawyer maintained high energy despite the heat, with discussions ranging from 3D-printed houses and coffee filter sizes to the proper way to roll joints and eat rotisserie chickens while grocery shopping. The chemistry between the hosts and their guest created an entertaining mix of local news, personal stories, and audience interaction.

🕐 Third Hour Analysis 🕐

Analysis of Matt & Bob Show (05-31-2023) – Final Third

Callers

Kathy (01:32:16 – 01:34:18)

• Cleans aquariums at wealthy people’s houses
• Discussed touch-activated faucets that cause her problems
• Shared story about a swarm of bees resting in her garage for three hours
• The queen bee landed on the garage door
• Referenced a news story about someone getting stung 600 times in South Austin

News Stories Talked About

Lego Boycott (01:35:14)

• Lego facing boycott over transgender building sets/rainbow collection
• Discussion about it being the third company facing boycott
• Mentioned connection to Target controversy
• Pride Month approaching leading to more boycotts

Ruby Slippers Theft (01:36:05)

• Stolen from Wizard of Oz, going to trial after almost 20 years
• Four pairs of ruby slippers exist total
• Academy of Motion Picture Sciences has three pairs
• One pair stolen from Judy Garland Museum in Grand Rapids, Minnesota
• Originally insured for $1 million, current market value $3.5 million
• Anonymous donor from Arizona put up $1 million reward in 2015
• Thief was caught a couple years ago; trial set for June 1st

Funeral Condoms Study (01:39:00)

• Study claims 80% of men have brought a condom to a funeral
• Extensive discussion about whether this is intentional or just forgotten in pockets

Interesting Facts Shared

• Touch-activated faucets that turn on when bumped (01:32:43)
• Wellington boots are what we call roper boots in country terms (01:50:35)
• Coney sauce vs. chili: Coney sauce has no ground beef, just chili ingredients with chicken stock (02:09:02)
• Professional cornhole bags weigh 440-470 grams or 14-16 ounces (01:52:35)
• John Deere is based in Illinois (started in Vermont, moved in 1800s) (01:50:28)
• Ivermectin cures worms in horses (01:48:48)
• White dog poop from the 1970s was caused by certain dog food brands (02:04:06)
• Kiss performs with 85% backing vocals, Paul Stanley barely sings live (02:00:42)

Memorable Moments

Sawyer’s Country Quiz (01:45:09 – 01:53:32)

• Sawyer won a bottle of Cook’s California Champagne (autographed by Matt and Chewy, given by Johnny Rood for their 2023 Radio Personalities of the Year award)
• Needed 4 out of 7 questions correct
• Questions included:
• Stallone’s character name in Tulsa King: Dwight Manfredi (got Dwight)
• Horse medicine for COVID: Ivermectin (correct, plus extra credit for knowing it cures worms)
• Alabama (band formed by cousins Randy Owen, Teddy Gentry, Jeff Cook) – needed heavy hints
• John Deere location: Illinois (guessed Pennsylvania)
• Wellington boot = Roper boot (missed)
• Nissan small truck: Frontier (missed)
• Cornhole bag weight (missed completely)
• Sawyer won with 4 points thanks to extra credit

Venmo Question Segment (01:54:00)

• Started taking paid questions via Venmo (@SawyerStull)
• Listeners send money with questions attached
• Questions answered:
• Classic country concerts attended: Marshall Tucker Band at Buck’s Backyard, Willie Nelson at Whitewater
• Perfect hot dog and toppings (extensive discussion)

Hot Dog Discussion (02:05:44 – 02:14:32)

• Detailed debate about perfect hot dog preparation
• Natural casing brats for the “snap”
• Chicago dog style discussed
• Chili dogs vs. Coney dogs explained
• Matt’s preference for nacho sauce instead of shredded cheese
• Bob’s technique of shaving bun sides and toasting them
• Discussion of hot dogs taking 18-20 minutes off your life

Cassette Tape Conversation (01:42:45)

• Sawyer bought Sam Kinison “Louder Than Hell” cassette
• Matt used to hide condoms in cassette cases while traveling for work (broke spikes off inside)
• Discussion about loving the mechanical sound of cassettes
• Mentioned Piranha Records in Round Rock selling cassettes for $1-2

Guests on the Show

Sawyer Stull – Comedian, in studio throughout this portion

• Currently unemployed
• Performed at Houston Rodeo in 5th grade (saw Larry the Cable Guy)
• Upcoming: Cap City Comedy Club next Wednesday at 8pm for Funniest Person in Austin contest (first round)
• Has friends who work on pyro crew (formerly with Kiss, now with Morgan Wallen)
• Has aunt from Bartlesville, Oklahoma
• Born in 1995

Food or Restaurants Talked About

• Mr. Gatti’s buffet (01:41:40)
• Shake Shack – Shack-cago dog, crinkle cut fries (01:52:00)
• Red Lobster – Bob going for aunt’s birthday (02:08:01)
• Costco hot dog (02:14:08)
• Waffle House (01:56:17)
• Buck’s Backyard (venue, not restaurant) (01:55:33)
• Chicago-style hot dogs with neon green relish, mustard, chopped onion, pickle, sport peppers/jalapeños, tomatoes (02:06:47)
• Walmart hot dog sauce/Coney sauce (02:09:45)
• Gas station hot dogs (02:13:21)
• New York street hot dogs/”dirty water dogs” (02:13:37)
• 7-Eleven roller hot dogs (02:13:47)

Predictions Made

• Bob predicts more boycotts coming during Pride Month (01:36:16)
• Sawyer joking about selling the championship bottle on eBay after lunch (01:53:32)

5 Paragraph Summary

The final third of the May 31, 2023 Matt & Bob show featured comedian Sawyer Stull as the primary guest, with extensive discussion ranging from bizarre news stories to hot dog preferences. The show maintained its characteristic Austin alternative radio style, mixing humor with current events and pop culture commentary. Caller Kathy kicked things off by sharing her experiences with touch-activated faucets at wealthy clients’ homes and a surprisingly positive encounter with a bee swarm in her garage, contrasting with the recent news story of someone being stung 600 times in South Austin.

The “Nods to the Odd” segment covered several unusual news items, including Lego facing boycotts over rainbow-themed building sets ahead of Pride Month, and the long-awaited trial of the man who stole the Wizard of Oz ruby slippers nearly 20 years ago from the Judy Garland Museum in Minnesota. The most bizarrely discussed story was a study claiming 80% of men have brought condoms to funerals, which sparked extended debate about whether this was intentional preparation or simply forgotten items in pockets. The hosts and Sawyer riffed extensively on funeral hookup culture, with references to “Wedding Crashers” and speculations about wake behavior.

The centerpiece of this segment was Sawyer’s “Country Quiz,” where he competed for a bottle of Cook’s California Champagne that had been given to the show to commemorate their 2023 Radio Personalities of the Year award. Despite claiming to be “trash” rather than “country,” Sawyer managed to score 4 out of 7 points needed to win, successfully identifying ivermectin as horse dewormer (and earning extra credit for knowing it treats worms), and correctly naming Dwight as Stallone’s character in “Tulsa King.” He struggled with questions about Alabama (the band), John Deere’s headquarters location, and Nissan’s Frontier truck, but his performance was deemed worthy of the prize.

The show introduced a new “super chat” style format where listeners could send Sawyer money via Venmo (@SawyerStull) with questions attached, which he would answer on air. This led to discussions about classic country concerts he’d attended, including Willie Nelson at Whitewater and the Marshall Tucker Band. The conversation evolved into an extensive debate about the perfect hot dog, with detailed discussions about natural casing brats, Chicago-style toppings, the difference between chili dogs and Coney dogs (Coney sauce has no ground beef), and various preparation methods. Bob revealed his technique of shaving the sides off hot dog buns and toasting them to reduce bread intake while adding flavor.

Throughout this final segment, the chemistry between the hosts and Sawyer was evident, with comfortable banter about everything from cassette tapes (which Sawyer still collects) to Kiss concerts being mostly backing tracks, to Ben Affleck’s apparent misery while dating Jennifer Lopez. Sawyer promoted his upcoming performance at Cap City Comedy Club for the Funniest Person in Austin contest, while the hosts showed genuine affection for their recurring guest, calling him “family.” The show concluded with exhausted hosts ready for bed after what was clearly a long day of broadcasting, having covered topics ranging from white dog poop from the 1970s to the moral implications of funeral condoms.