🎙️ First Hour Analysis 🎙️

Analysis of Matt & Bob Show 08-30-2023 Transcript (First Third)

Food items/restaurants talked about:

• McDonald’s products (14:17-17:00):
• Arch Deluxe burger (developed for $100 million in 1996, failed product)
• Quarter Pounder mentioned in comparison
• McDLT (hot side hot, cold side cold, came in separate container)

• Restaurants/Food brands mentioned:
• Shake Shack (17:00)
• Five Guys (17:00)
• Taco Bell – “shredded beef grilled cheese dipping taco” (18:00)
• Silver Metal burger – referenced multiple times as a local burger spot (17:00-17:30)
• Still Austin (brewery t-shirt mentioned) (06:49)
• Austin Beer Works/ABW (hat mentioned) (02:01, 06:52)
• Hardcore Carnivore (Bob’s shirt) (06:56)

• Beverages discussed:
• Orbitz drink (19:32-21:40) – 1997 beverage with floating pellets, tasted like cough syrup
• Cosmopolitan Yogurt (23:00-25:00) – Magazine’s failed yogurt line from 1999
• Jolt Cola (26:00-27:00)
• Surge (25:30)
• Fruitopia (26:00-28:30) – Minute Maid fruity iced tea with trippy MTV ads
• Crystal Pepsi (mentioned at 19:00)
• Clearly Canadian (mentioned at 19:00)
• Cocaine Cola (mentioned at 28:53)
• OK Cola (29:00-31:30) – Coca-Cola’s anti-establishment Gen X soda from 1993-1995
• Zima (31:40-33:00) – malted beverage ahead of its time
• White Claw/seltzers (32:20-33:00)

Click Click Boom segment clickbait news:

Theme: Famous Product Failures (13:00-25:00)

• McDonald’s Arch Deluxe (14:17): $100 million burger flop from 1996 trying to appeal to “urban sophisticates”
• Orbitz drink (19:32): 1997 lava lamp-looking soda with floating pellets, tasted like cough syrup, removed from shelves by 1998
• Cosmopolitan Yogurt (23:00): 1999 yogurt line from Cosmo magazine that failed

The segment focused on the theme that “failure means you’re trying something new” and encouraged listeners not to fear failure in life, jobs, or relationships.

Funny moments or memorable quotes:

• “Behind Enemy Lines” (22:00): Matt coins this phrase for when guys would read women’s magazines like Cosmopolitan hidden inside gun/sports magazines at grocery stores to learn “10 ways to ensure you have a toe tingling”
• Bob on selling out (08:00): “That’s the one thing that you could tell me, right? The sellout thing? That wouldn’t hurt my feelings…It’d be like, yeah, hell yeah, it did.”
• Matt’s phone anxiety (10:45): When his boss called at 3pm – “should I pretend to be asleep? And I was like, oh, the phone can’t see me” – turned out to be a butt dial
• Chuy on white girls’ taste (32:50): “Whenever a white girl gets from Starbucks or drinks, like, that’s what I’m doing…Who’s gonna afford to catch up with a white…Majority of the time, I would say 90% of the time” (safe move trusting their beverage choices)
• Matt roasting their intern (15:14): “Our intern grew up west of the city. He wears a smoking jacket in there and he has a pipe…He drinks grey Poupon in the morning, just straight out of the glass”
• Bob struggling with yes/no answers (17:00): Extended confusion about whether he’s had a Silver Metal burger, Matt finally says “See? See how easy that is? I got it. It’s amazing.”
• Bob on Timbuk3 (36:00): Confused why they’re called Timbuk3 when only two people: “How about two guy trio?”

Phone callers this portion:

No phone callers during this portion of the show.

Bob’s Rock and Roll News segment:

Bob Fonseca delivered his trademark “Rock and Roll News” segment starting at timestamp 33:45, covering several music industry stories with his characteristic enthusiastic style.

Timbuk3 and the Birth of Backing Tracks: Bob revealed that Austin duo Timbuk3 (Pat MacDonald and Barbara K. Cueyman) were credited as the first band to use backing tracks in live performance. In the 1980s, after moving from Wisconsin to Austin, they performed on the streets using pre-recorded drum machine tracks played from a portable cassette deck/boombox. This practice, now called “Laptops Live,” has become ubiquitous in modern concerts. Bob noted that virtually every band except Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band now uses backing tracks. Even bands like Kiss and Skid Row have been discovered using them. The term “Laptops Live” refers to performers essentially dancing and singing to pre-recorded tracks at festivals.

Post Malone Almost Collaborated with Bob Dylan: Bob shared the story of how Post Malone, a longtime Bob Dylan fan, almost worked with the legend. Dylan “slid into” Post’s DMs one night and sent him lyrics, expecting Post to set them to music. The song was reportedly called “Be Not Deceived.” However, Post Malone never finished the project, and Dylan eventually gave up and released his album without it. Post had shown his Dylan fandom previously with a 2013 YouTube cover of “Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright” and even has Dylan’s face tattooed on his left bicep. Bob also mentioned his own Dylan encounter, claiming Dylan tipped his cowboy hat to him in the bowels of the Irwin Center.

New Music Releases: Bob covered several upcoming albums. The Bullet Boys are working on new material, though Bob admitted he didn’t remember their hit “Smooth Up in Ya.” Duran Duran is releasing a Halloween-themed album called “Danse Macabre” (spelled with an ‘S’) featuring 13 tracks of new songs, covers, and reworked versions. Bob cynically suggested this might be a “fulfill your contractual obligation album” – what happens when a label demands more content and the band asks “What’s in the vault?” Keyboardist Nick Rhodes explained the album idea was born from a Halloween night show they played in Las Vegas in October 2022.

Rock and Roll News Junior: In the children’s segment, Bob announced that three former Disney Channel and Nickelodeon stars are releasing albums simultaneously this fall. Selena Gomez released “Single Soon,” Miley Cyrus put out “Used to Be Young,” and Ariana Grande released a 10th anniversary deluxe edition of her debut album “Yours Truly.” Bob joked about Selena being “single soon” and teased Chuy for being an Ariana Grande fan who probably “never even plays the music” and just looks at the cover.

Rock and Roll Salute: Bob dedicated his salute to “Dakota Mike” in Florida, a longtime listener since 2009 when he was stationed at Fort Hood. Mike sent Bob an authentic Wrexham AFC hat directly from the club shop in Wales (his wife is from Wrexham and her parents still live there). The hat matches the one Rob McElhenney wears in the “Welcome to Wrexham” documentary. Mike included the shopping bag and receipt for “provenance,” knowing Bob appreciates authenticity. Bob was deeply touched by this gesture, especially since Mike took time to do this while preparing for a hurricane in Florida.

Rock and roll shoutout/salute:

Dakota Mike (45:48-50:00): Bob gave an emotional rock and roll salute to longtime listener “Dakota Mike” who now lives in Florida. Mike had been listening since 2009 when stationed at Fort Hood and sent Bob an authentic Wrexham AFC hat directly from the club shop in Wrexham, Wales (his mother-in-law picked it up). The hat came with the shopping bag and receipt for provenance. Bob noted Mike did this while preparing for a hurricane, making the gesture even more meaningful during Bob’s difficult year.

Bands talked about during Bob’s rock and roll news segment:

• Timbuk3
• Kiss
• Skid Row
• Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
• Bob Dylan
• Post Malone
• Bullet Boys
• Duran Duran
• Selena Gomez
• Miley Cyrus
• Ariana Grande

3 paragraph summary of this portion of the show (excluding Bob’s Rock and Roll news):

The show opened with the hosts discussing their clothing choices and Bob’s newfound status as an “influencer” who receives free merchandise. Bob was wearing multiple brand logos including an Austin Beer Works hat, a Hardcore Carnivore shirt, and would later reveal a Wrexham AFC hat. Matt (Bearden) discussed his longstanding aversion to wearing clothing manufacturer logos, comparing it to having “Ethan Allen” printed on all your sofa pillows, though he admitted breaking down over the years to wear local brewery and distillery logos like Still Austin and Austin Beer Works. The banter revealed Bob’s transformation into someone companies want wearing their products, with Matt joking he’d “gone full” influencer and “sold out.”

The “Click Click Boom” segment focused on famous product failures with the overarching message that failure is essential for growth and success. Matt encouraged listeners stuck in unfulfilling jobs or afraid to pursue relationships to overcome their fear of failure, using McDonald’s $100 million Arch Deluxe flop as an example of how even successful companies fail spectacularly. The segment covered several 1990s beverage failures including Orbitz (a lava lamp-looking drink with floating pellets that tasted like cough syrup), OK Cola (Coca-Cola’s anti-establishment Gen X soda with artist-designed cans), and Cosmopolitan magazine’s bizarre 1999 yogurt line. The conversation devolved into nostalgic remembrances of 90s drinks like Surge, Jolt Cola, Fruitopia (with its trippy MTV ads asking existential questions), and Zima, with the hosts noting how the malted beverage was ahead of the current seltzer trend.

A memorable moment emerged when Matt coined the phrase “behind enemy lines” to describe how men in the 90s would read women’s magazines like Cosmopolitan hidden inside gun or sports magazines at grocery stores, seeking relationship advice under the guise of looking manly. The hosts also discussed phone anxiety, with Matt sharing a story about panicking when the company owner called him at 3pm (typically firing time in radio), only to discover it was a butt dial. The show promoted their upcoming September 13th live show at Cap City Comedy Club with tickets going on sale at 9am, teasing a special guest whose contract had just been signed. Throughout the segment, the hosts engaged in playful banter, roasting their intern as a “Nepo baby” with elevated tastes who drinks Grey Poupon straight from the glass.

⏰ Second Hour Analysis ⏰

Analysis of Matt & Bob Show (08-30-2023) – Second Third

Food items/restaurants talked about (with timestamps)

• 50:53 – Scotch/whiskey – Sasanoth (received as belated birthday gift from Lisa, Jamie Schmitz, and JS Electronics)
• 52:19 – Hardcore Carnivore merchandise (shirt and stickers from Chris and Jess Pryles)
• 59:46 – Cuantos Tacos – opening new food truck called “Cuantas Hamburguesas” at 12th Street, just east of I-35
• 1:01:00 – Mexican-style hamburgers described:
• Synchronizada: single patty, beef hot dog sliced lengthwise, Mexican cheese, pickles, pickled jalapenos
• Americana: two patties, American cheese, onions, pickles, ketchup, Dijon on sesame bun
• Hawaiiana: two patties, bacon, ham, pineapple, Mexican cheese, lettuce, pickled jalapenos, mayo, ketchup
• Campajana: one patty and longganitza sausage as smash patty, corn tortilla, spiced mayo, onions, cilantro, pickles, lime juice
• Hand-cut fries fried in beef tallow
• 1:22:43 – Checos restaurant – Sawyer ate menudo there to try to cure hangover
• 1:30:00 – Taco Bell and Panda Express mentioned as potential “cures”

News stories talked about during this portion (with timestamps)

• 53:28 – COVID-19 uptick in schools – 33% increase, AISD reporting significant cases
• 54:44 – Discussion about COVID protocols, air filters in classrooms for $35 each
• 55:45 – Syphilis outbreak in Austin – ninefold rise in Harris County, CDC reports surge, Pfizer warning of penicillin shortages
• 57:24 – UT Austin wants to cover I-35 from Dean Keaton to 15th Street to expand campus
• 59:33 – Travis Scott adding Austin show to his first tour in five years following release of “Utopia” album

Predictions made during this portion

• 1:04:48 – Matt discusses buying limited edition Lucchese boots – may need to return them due to fit issues

Interesting facts shared during this portion

• 53:13 – Matt discusses not knowing what causes the common cold and that we can’t cure it
• 1:04:48 – Lucchese boots can take 8-12 months minimum for custom orders
• 1:05:23 – Radio personalities are “below stripper” in the entertainment hierarchy, according to boot store staff
• 1:06:13 – Limited edition boot from 1950s design – last pair in America in Matt’s size
• 1:16:08 – Caller “Rowdy” suggests mixing water and rubbing alcohol 50-50, spraying on boots and wearing them to stretch them out

Phone callers this portion

• 1:16:00 – Rowdy (accidentally introduced as John) – called in with advice about stretching boots using water/alcohol mixture, also mentioned having sex in boots
• 1:31:56 – Doctor caller providing positive encouragement to Sawyer about his comedy performance

Guests in the studio or special visitors

• 1:19:26 – Sawyer Stull (Dr. Hot Dog) joined the show to discuss:
• Being sick after Mexico trip for 15th anniversary fantasy football draft
• Performing at Cap City Comedy Club that night for “Funniest Person in Austin” competition
• Working day labor building sheds at expensive private school
• Dealing with severe intestinal issues from trip

Recurring jokes or gags

• Repeated jokes about college kids having syphilis and having sex (directed at intern “Double D”)
• Multiple bathroom/diarrhea jokes throughout Sawyer’s segment
• Running joke about Matt’s boot purchasing decisions and inability to make decisions
• References to Matt being “below stripper” on entertainment hierarchy
• Sexual harassment policy reading at end becomes running joke about all hosts being fired

Memorable quotes this portion

• 50:56 – “You’ve been served… their money folds, they don’t jiggle”
• 52:57 – “Don’t fear the doorbell”
• 56:22 – “We’re a city that likes to drink and have sex”
• 1:05:35 – Boot store staff to Matt: “You’re in radio. You’re a dirt person. You’re below stripper”
• 1:07:00 – About boot price: “It wasn’t under five… they don’t make any boots under five”
• 1:08:52 – Matt on unboxing: “I can smell all the leather”
• 1:16:28 – Rowdy: “A couple pairs of loose cases, and that’s how I’ll break every one of them in”
• 1:16:52 – “I have sex in my boots” – Rowdy
• 1:23:43 – About private school moms: “These women are hideous, Matt… some of the ugliest women I’ve seen in my life”
• 1:29:54 – Sawyer on his girlfriend’s attractiveness in coded language for her listening

Summary

The second third of this Matt & Bob show episode from August 30, 2023, begins with Matt recounting a surprisingly positive day where he received multiple gifts at his door, including a bottle of Sasanoth Scotch from Lisa and Jamie Schmitz, and a Hardcore Carnivore shirt from Chris and Jess Pryles. What he initially feared might be process servers or unwanted solicitors turned into a delightful series of deliveries that put him in an exceptionally good mood.

The show transitions into headlines covering several Austin-area news stories. Bob discusses a significant COVID-19 uptick in local schools, with a 33% increase in cases affecting AISD. He also reports on a concerning syphilis outbreak in Austin, part of a larger national trend that has Pfizer warning about penicillin shortages. The hosts discuss UT Austin’s proposal to cover portions of I-35 to expand campus connectivity, and announce that Travis Scott is bringing his first tour in five years to Austin following his “Utopia” album release. Bob also promotes the new Cuantas Hamburguesas food truck opening next to Cuantos Tacos, describing their Mexican-style burger menu in detail.

A significant portion of the show focuses on Matt’s boot drama. He purchased limited edition Lucchese boots inspired by a 1950s design in collaboration with a country star, reportedly the last pair available in America in his size. However, the right boot fits tighter than expected, creating a dilemma about whether to keep them, try to stretch them, or return them. The boot discussion includes a memorable call from “Rowdy,” who suggests spraying them with a 50-50 mixture of water and rubbing alcohol and wearing them to break them in, claiming this is how he breaks in all his Lucchese boots.

The final segment features guest Sawyer Stull (Dr. Hot Dog), who appears severely ill after returning from a Mexico City trip for his fantasy football league’s 15th anniversary draft. Sawyer describes debilitating intestinal issues affecting himself and all his friends, made worse by his attempt to eat menudo at Checos as a cure. Despite his condition, he’s scheduled to perform that night at Cap City Comedy Club in the Funniest Person in Austin competition. The conversation becomes increasingly absurd as Sawyer discusses working day labor at an expensive private school while desperately ill, with the hosts offering ridiculous “cures” like eating Taco Bell and Panda Express to “chase out” his sickness. The segment concludes with a reading of the new employee handbook’s sexual harassment policy, with the hosts joking that they’re all about to be fired for violating nearly every provision.

🕐 Third Hour Analysis 🕐

Analysis of Matt & Bob Show (08-30-2023) – Final Third

Food or restaurants talked about during this portion:

• 01:35:25 – Gorditas mentioned in jest about Chewy’s eating habits
• 01:39:09 – Taco Bell implied through “Hindu” (hen do/bachelorette party) discussion
• 01:45:25 – Donner House restaurant in New York’s East Village discussed, serving German-style fast-casual food (kebabs/doner)
• 01:49:20 – McDonald’s mentioned multiple times – McDonald’s All-American references, breakfast items
• 02:00:51 – Nathan’s hot dogs discussed as preferred brand
• 02:00:51 – Oscar Mayer mentioned for hot dog roller machine
• 02:01:44 – Hebrew National hot dogs mentioned as alternative
• 02:01:44 – Vienna hot dogs referenced as expensive option
• 02:01:44 – Boar’s Head mentioned as out of budget

News stories talked about during this portion:

• 01:37:25 – Woman banned from wedding after brother invited her ex-husband as groomsman; the ex-husband and sister had divorced at age 25 after marrying at 23
• 01:39:37 – British woman (Bridezilla) kicked friend out of wedding party; friend retaliated by canceling Airbnb during the bachelorette party (hen do)
• 01:41:01 – British woman (46, from Wales) banned from tattoo parlors for face tattoo addiction; has hundreds of small crosses tattooed on her forehead
• 01:44:16 – Donner House restaurant in New York being sued by Pornhub for logo infringement; logo uses same font, colors, and design style

Interesting facts shared during this portion:

• 01:39:43 – “Hen do” or “hen party” is British term for bachelorette party
• 01:50:51 – HTML knowledge was common in early internet days; everyone learned basic coding for MySpace
• 01:52:08 – MySpace had “Top 8” friends feature that caused social drama
• 01:52:48 – Tom from MySpace was everyone’s first friend
• 01:53:35 – Friendster was the original social network before MySpace but collapsed due to inadequate servers
• 01:55:35 – Club Penguin was a MySpace-like platform for kids featuring penguin avatars
• 01:55:45 – Snood.com was an early free browser game
• 02:06:05 – Sloan mentioned recently completing 35 days in rehab (July 3 – August 6)

Memorable moments during this portion:

• 01:36:00 – Bob jokes about Waterloo Media being advertised as “drug-free workplace” but claiming he’s “run into a lot of free drugs”
• 01:37:04 – Matt realizes he read confidential employee handbook on air before signing acknowledgment
• 01:43:02 – Discussion of British woman with face covered in tattoo crosses; hosts compare her appearance to Sawyer
• 01:46:26 – Debate over whether Donner House logo looks like Pornhub logo; Earl (producer) smiles knowingly when asked
• 02:13:32 – Sawyer agrees to do weekly NFL picks segment before negotiating any compensation
• 02:14:33 – Reveal of hot dog roller machine purchase with 61% listener vote for Oscar Mayer brand
• 02:20:13 – Sawyer mentions wanting ketchup on hot dogs, nearly getting kicked off the show

Callers this portion:

• 01:50:35 – Julia: Discussed MySpace programming, HTML knowledge, and top 8 friends
• 01:56:30 – Morgan: Missed being an early adopter on internet, had username “Morganza” on Twitter since November 2008
• 02:00:08 – Cookie Greg: Missed playing Flash games on the old internet
• 02:01:33 – Alejandro: Missed how genuine the old internet seemed before everyone chased virality
• 02:06:05 – Sloan: Mentioned Funnyjunk.com and Rotten.com; revealed recently completed rehab

Predictions made during this portion:

• 02:08:22 – Matt predicts they will sell out tickets for their September 13th live show at Cap City Comedy Club today

“Kick Out the Jams” segment about:

• 01:48:08 – Question of the Day: “What do you miss about the old internet?”

5 Paragraph Summary:

The final portion of the show began with workplace humor as the hosts discussed signing Waterloo Media’s employee handbook, with Bob joking about the “drug-free workplace” policy and Matt accidentally reading confidential portions on air before signing the acknowledgment. The conversation then moved to the “Nods to the Odd” segment, featuring several unusual stories including a woman who was banned from her brother’s wedding after he invited her ex-husband as a groomsman, and a British woman banned from tattoo parlors due to her addiction to getting face tattoos, particularly hundreds of small crosses on her forehead.

The hosts engaged in an extended discussion about internet nostalgia, prompted by their Question of the Day: “What do you miss about the old internet?” Multiple callers shared memories of MySpace customization, learning HTML, the importance of “Top 8” friends, early social networks like Friendster, Flash games, and the exploratory nature of early web browsing. The hosts reminisced about finding obscure websites, the Pirate Bay, LimeWire, Chat Roulette, and how the internet felt more genuine before social media algorithms took over. They noted how people used to navigate from webpage to webpage rather than staying within social media platforms.

A significant portion of the show focused on making a deal with guest Sawyer Stull, who had been suffering from Montezuma’s Revenge after a fantasy football draft trip to Mexico City. Despite his illness, Sawyer agreed to come in every Friday during NFL season to provide game previews and picks. The hosts, admitting they rarely follow professional football, saw this as an opportunity to connect with the sport. To sweeten the deal, they revealed plans to purchase a hot dog roller machine, as Sawyer is known as “Dr. Hot Dog.”

The hot dog roller discussion became a major focus, with the hosts revealing poll results showing 500 listeners voted 61% in favor of the Oscar Mayer Grandeur model with eight-dog capacity and bun warmer. Bob claimed credit for the original idea, and the group debated hot dog brands (Nathan’s vs. Oscar Mayer vs. Hebrew National), proper toppings, and whether ketchup was acceptable. When Sawyer mentioned possibly using ketchup, the hosts jokingly threatened to cancel the entire arrangement, insisting on mustard and relish only for a “simple, pure dog.”

The show wrapped with promotion for Sawyer’s performance that evening at Cap City Comedy Club in the Funniest Person in Austin contest, and ticket sales for the next “Evenings with Matt and Bob” live podcast recording on September 13th. Throughout the segment, the hosts maintained their characteristic humor while navigating topics from internet nostalgia to workplace policies, wedding drama, and the serious business of proper hot dog preparation. The addition of weekly NFL coverage and Friday hot dog sessions promised new regular features for the show’s upcoming season.