🎙️ First Hour Analysis 🎙️

Analysis of Matt & Bob Show 04-18-2024

Food items/restaurants talked about:

00:26 – Sip Munch Cafe (Vietnamese coffee shop near Metric and Breaker)

• Vietnamese iced coffees with flavors: coconut, sesame, ube (purple yam), pandan
• Fruity green teas: mango, dragon fruit, pineapple, peach lemongrass
• Croffles (croissant-waffle hybrid)

01:15 – Walmart shopping mentioned multiple times

02:02 – Austin Pickle Ranch (pickleball facility, not a pickle restaurant as initially hoped)

• Discussion of pickles soaked in Kool-Aid
• Big barrel-fermented pickles

11:34 – McDonald’s mentioned (regarding making food at home)

13:39 – Walmart shopping (repeatedly mentioned throughout)

14:01 – Target mentioned

29:26 – Starbucks mentioned

News stories talked about during this portion:

00:26 – Austin named one of the top forgetful cities of 2024

02:03 – Austin Pickle Ranch opening – 50,000 square foot indoor pickleball facility on Breaker Lane

03:35 – Beginner’s Guide to Hydroponics Workshop at Austin Creative Reuse (Sunday)

04:07 – Austin Reggae Fest happening Friday to Sunday (40th annual event)

05:16 – 40th Annual Preservation Home Tour (Saturday and Sunday)

Funny moments or memorable quotes during this portion:

00:31 – Matt: “That last segment was lazy on my part. I apologize to you listeners.”

01:19 – Matt on Austin being forgetful: “This town has a lot of young people who like to drink in NF, right? And then that dude goes, yeah, I’ll call you. And then he never seems to call, right? He just forgot, ladies.”

02:10 – Matt on pickles: “I thought somebody was gonna open… a real ass pickle monger like you get up on the East Coast… I thought a guy was gonna have those big old barrels and they were gonna be naturally fermenting a bunch of pickles. Just put your arm down in there and get you one. And I got super effing excited.”

02:52 – Matt on pickleball: “How desperate are we to do something with our lives that so many people are leaning into pickleball?”

03:25 – Matt: “Gary, from the Golden Bachelor, who already dumped his wife three months in. Scumbag.”

04:24 – Matt on Austin Reggae Fest: “If you love the smell of body odor on a young white kid, Austin Raga Fest is your place to go. Who’s got a pit bull on a leash?”

08:32 – Miss Pat on fame: “I look at everything as a job. Some people take all of this fame and all of this stuff and look at it as, you know, I made it. I constantly wake up and try to find the next thing. I mean, and that’s just the street in me. You know, I’m an ex-drug dealer. So, you know, just cause one crackhead is happy, you got to go out and get to everybody else. You need the whole block. The whole block need to be high.”

09:50 – Miss Pat: “I’ve never heard of no free drugs now.”

10:35 – Miss Pat on Hollywood: “I take a lot of what I’ve learned from the street and I applied to Hollywood. So I never get excited about things is all it’s just work to me it’s a job it can go away in a hurry.”

11:00 – Miss Pat on Eddie Murphy: “I’ll tell you who don’t have to come back. That’s Eddie Murphy. He ain’t gotta come back. I gotta go back after all of this.”

11:25 – Miss Pat on relevance: “What would he talk about? The thing that attracts people is when you’re relevant. Because you’ve got to remember, your audience is just normal people… I just can’t call up my friends who I put my vacation on layaway say, do you know I had to pay $500,000 and take it? I don’t want to hear that. I got a refund.”

12:20 – Miss Pat: “I still live the same life. I just don’t steal and sell drugs anymore.”

12:35 – Miss Pat on vacations: “I got a travel agent. Everybody gonna make monthly payments. And I make monthly payments along with my friends. Now, some people drop out. Everybody can’t go.”

13:39 – Miss Pat: “I don’t like to wear a bra and I don’t like to wear a wig and make up when I’m out. That’s what Walmart’s for.”

13:52 – Miss Pat: “So the other people with no bras don’t recognize me. But when I go to Target with no bra, security’s watching me. They think I’m going to steal.”

14:20 – Discussion about locked-up underwear at Walmart: “You gotta take the underwear out of a box in a plastic box”

14:48 – Miss Pat: “Well think about they had to make you go by Kotex or tampons and they was locked up in a box. You had to go ask somebody to unlock them for you.”

15:02 – Miss Pat: “Y’all flip them over several times. You wear them till you can’t stand to smell them anymore.”

15:23 – Miss Pat to Chewy: “Well our man’s got dirty drawers I mean I do too. I have to ball mines up and put them at the bottom of the pamphlet But that doesn’t stop you for you a nice-looking guy.”

15:38 – Miss Pat: “My cousin just got off crack. Would you like to meet her? Sure yeah, how long has it been? By three months? She’ll wash the drawers until she got a cellar.”

16:00 – Miss Pat on her cousin Pumpkin: “She got off crack and her organ stopped working. I told her not to get off crack, but she wanted to go clean. And when you crack, keep people alive so she died.”

16:31 – Miss Pat: “You should come to Atlanta. There’s so many single women. They would swoop you up like gravy. Because, you know, Atlanta is the home of the gays. So, you know, either your man gay or your daughter’s a boy.”

16:56 – Miss Pat: “And it’s still some women with some real booties. It won’t move when you touch it they got dimples in them”

17:27 – Miss Pat analyzing Chewy: “He like to lay right in the middle of your chest until he ready to send you home when he want to watch his favorite TV show.”

18:12 – Miss Pat on her husband: “I used to like really skinny guys and I couldn’t get one that would keep a job. So now my husband’s fat. I said, I just want a job. I’m going to stop looking at, I need a man who can fit right up in there. I’m going to have to have something going to cover me as long as he works. So now I got a fat husband of 30 years.”

19:08 – Miss Pat to Bob: “Your problem is your belt too tight.”

19:59 – Bob’s age reveal (88 in dog years reference)

20:00 – Miss Pat: “Bob ain’t that old. I need to lose weight, Bob.”

20:33 – Miss Pat: “With them shoulders, I’m surprised you ain’t in the big girls.”

21:14 – Miss Pat on Matt: “You like women who shampoo their hair once a week. White women that shampoo their hair once a week… And I can see that you like the fake boobs, real big boobs… You look like you do more licking than sucking on soap.”

21:48 – Miss Pat: “I can see you with big old titties that got the veins coming out of it and with no areola.”

22:28 – Miss Pat: “All you have to do is touch your kneecap” (comparing fake boobs to kneecaps)

23:10 – Miss Pat on what she looks for: “Job side teeth… And I said it on stage and people look at me like I’m crazy because I wear hair, you know, we like women where we understand And so if you ain’t got no side teeth, they’re gonna spit in your hair and mess it up”

26:26 – Discussion about the worn-out studio chairs that have been there 30 years

26:51 – Miss Pat noticing Bob’s missing wedding ring: “Bob, wait a minute, Bob. You married. Where your ring at?”

27:28 – Miss Pat: “If you you don’t have a ring doesn’t mean any ring or whatever say what if I came in found you was a tractor and I just grabbed you and just started giving you CPR mouth-to-mouth”

28:01 – Miss Pat on marriage: “I’ve been married for 31 years too, so I don’t need to roll over to nothing new. You earned your space in life. Yeah, leave me alone. We only together for TV and conversation. We’re going to talk to each other until we die.”

28:28 – Miss Pat: “That’s all young girls want, is middle-aged men now. Because they tired of playing games with the young guys.”

29:38 – Bob on the Cybertruck: “I want it because people don’t like it.”

30:58 – Miss Pat on the Cybertruck: “Bob, what are you going to do with that truck? That’s a woman magnet. And a regular magnet.”

31:04 – Miss Pat: “Those young girls gonna come get you, Bob. They gonna come get you… They don’t care if you taking no more. Bob, you know, you five-four, they gonna kidnap you. I can see you now with some woman my size with you stuck in between her chest and she just running with you. Straight to the ATM machine.”

3 Paragraph Summary (excluding Bob’s Rock and Roll News):

The show began with Matt Bearden discussing local Austin news and events. He covered Austin being named one of the top “forgetful cities” of 2024, humorously attributing this to the city’s population being “super stoned” and the hustle and bustle of young people drinking. Matt expressed disappointment about the Austin Pickle Ranch opening on Breaker Lane, revealing it’s actually a 50,000 square foot pickleball facility rather than the pickle food establishment he had hoped for. He shared his confusion about pickleball’s popularity and nostalgia for traditional pickle vendors. The segment also covered weekend events including a hydroponics workshop, the 40th Annual Austin Reggae Fest, and a preservation home tour. Matt introduced Sip Munch Cafe, a Vietnamese coffee shop near Metric and Breaker, highlighting their unique offerings including croffles (croissant-waffles) and specialty drinks, recommending it particularly for Chewy.

The main attraction of this portion was comedian Miss Pat, who joined the show to promote her appearance at Paramount Theatre. Miss Pat, whose sitcom is heading into its fourth season and who also has a second season of her judge show “Miss Pat Settles It,” demonstrated why she’s become a beloved figure in comedy. She discussed her philosophy of staying grounded despite success, explaining that she still maintains her normal life and friends, arranging group vacations on payment plans so everyone can participate. Miss Pat emphasized that she views her television work as “just a job” and that stand-up comedy is what she truly controls, crediting her ability to stay relevant to hanging around “normal people” rather than celebrities. She drew parallels between her former career as a drug dealer and Hollywood, applying street-smart business principles to her entertainment career.

The conversation took a hilariously personal turn as Miss Pat performed what she called her “ghetto psychic” readings on the hosts. She criticized Bob’s tight belt, guessed his age, noticed his missing wedding ring, and made observations about each host’s dating preferences and physical appearance. She offered to set up Chewy with her recently-clean-from-crack cousins and encouraged him to move to Atlanta where there’s a shortage of straight men. The banter covered everything from Walmart shopping habits and locked-up underwear to wedding rings and relationships. Miss Pat shared that she’s been married for 31 years and had her first child at 14, joking that she and her husband are now “only together for TV and conversation.” The segment showcased her authentic, unfiltered comedy style that has made her successful, discussing studio furniture, Bob’s upcoming Cybertruck purchase, and the realities of long-term marriage with equal parts wisdom and humor.

⏰ Second Hour Analysis ⏰

Analysis of Radio Show Transcript (Second Third)

Food items/restaurants talked about (with timestamps):

Breakfast Locations:

• Barney’s (Breakfast at Barney’s) – Atlanta restaurant mentioned by Ms. Pat around 35:20
• Kins – Mexican breakfast spot (37:32)
• Amaya’s – Known for chips and salsa (37:42)
• Bird Bird Biscuit (38:16)
• El Dorado – Big Papa Taco recommended (38:31, multiple mentions)
• La Santa Barabacha – Homemade corn tortillas (39:04)
• Joe’s Bakery – Possible grits location (36:52)
• Cisco’s – Possible grits location (36:56)

Lunch/Dinner Locations:

• Magic City – Atlanta, known for chicken wings (39:39)
• Go Shades – Atlanta breakfast spot (41:41)
• Baltimore Crab – Black-owned restaurant in Atlanta with amazing kale (41:46)

BBQ Locations:

• Franklin Barbecue – Four-hour wait, Obama ate there (47:01, 47:38)
• Interstellar (46:59)
• Sam’s – OG black-owned barbecue (48:00)
• LeRoy and Lewis (48:38)
• Mickle Thwait (47:42)
• Cooper’s (47:42)
• Southside Market (47:37)

Food Items Mentioned:

• Grits and eggs (36:47, multiple mentions)
• Potato reno soup at El Dorado (51:01)
• Shrimp and grits (42:57)
• Fajitas and grits concept (42:59)

Funny or memorable quotes:

• “Mark Maron is the, he’s oatmeal and I’m gonna real.” – Ms. Pat (32:03)
• “My husband take it, he has been gassy for about two years… I’d rather have a fat husband than smell what I smell every night.” – Ms. Pat on Ozempic side effects (33:00)
• “All you need is a panty liner to catch the tears that I’m going to make you leak all over your body.” – Ms. Pat (34:47)
• “You got this big old white woman, but she’s a Negro in between the legs. So that’s your biracial without being biracial.” – Ms. Pat on thigh-rubbing (43:28)
• “I’m a convicted felon, so it’s not like I can tote my own pistol.” – Ms. Pat (44:28)
• “Meet me in Austin.” – Ms. Pat on gun ownership (45:09)
• “A couple that shoots together stays together.” – Matt (45:56)
• “I shot my baby daddy… He shot me, so I shot him back.” – Ms. Pat (45:24)
• “Why you can’t put the grits in the tacos?” – Ms. Pat (42:35)

Guests in the studio or special visitors:

Ms. Pat – Comedian performing at the Paramount Theater at 9:30 PM, stayed for extended segments (31:36-51:23). She has a show on BET+ and was very animated discussing food, her life, and Austin.

Avery Moore – Local comedian recording her first comedy special on Saturday at 10:30 PM at Cap City Comedy Club in the Red Room (51:23 onwards). She’s been sober for 306 days.

Recurring jokes or gags:

• Ms. Pat repeatedly asking for Mexican food but also wanting grits
• Ms. Pat’s jokes about being Black and people expecting her to want soul food
• Bob’s past relationship with Kendra Scott sponsor (56:26)
• The show wanting to leave early to eat with Ms. Pat
• Ms. Pat comparing Mark Maron to oatmeal and herself to Gon-a-real
• Gun jokes and Texas gun culture
• Ms. Pat’s husband’s gas issues from Ozempic

“This or That” segment:

Ms. Pat was asked about breakfast preferences:

• She wanted Mexican food over soul food (multiple times)
• She wanted grits with her Mexican food
• She chose to try Franklin BBQ despite the four-hour wait over other options (47:47)

Summary:

This middle portion of the show featured an extended, hilarious interview with comedian Ms. Pat, who was performing at the Paramount Theater that evening at 9:30 PM. The conversation quickly turned to food, with Ms. Pat expressing her love for breakfast and specifically requesting Mexican food recommendations in Austin, though she also wanted grits – creating a running joke about combining soul food and Tex-Mex.

The hosts enthusiastically recommended numerous Austin restaurants, with the conversation centering on El Dorado and their Big Papa Taco for breakfast, and Franklin Barbecue for lunch despite its notorious four-hour wait. Ms. Pat shared wild stories about her life, including shooting her baby daddy (“he shot me, so I shot him back”), her cousin Pumpkin who had nine children of different races, and her husband’s severe gas problems from taking Ozempic. Her unfiltered comedy style kept the hosts laughing throughout.

The segment also included Ms. Pat’s observations about being a celebrity, her status as a convicted felon preventing her from carrying a gun (leading to jokes about Texas gun culture), and various risqué jokes about body types, relationships, and race. The chemistry between Ms. Pat and the hosts was electric, with Bob, Matt, and Chuy struggling to keep up with her rapid-fire humor and personal anecdotes.

Later in this portion, comedian Avery Moore joined the show to promote her first comedy special being recorded on Saturday at 10:30 PM at Cap City Comedy Club. She discussed being 306 days sober and how this special would be more introspective than her previous work, while still including 30 minutes about cartoons and a parody song. The hosts showed genuine support for both comedians’ upcoming shows during Moon Tower Comedy Festival week.

Throughout this segment, food remained a central theme, with detailed discussions about Austin’s breakfast taco scene, barbecue culture, and the hosts’ attempts to satisfy Ms. Pat’s desire for both Mexican food and traditional Southern breakfast items. The casual, friendly atmosphere made for highly entertaining radio as the comedians shared personal stories and the hosts provided insider tips about Austin’s culinary landscape.

🕐 Third Hour Analysis 🕐

Analysis of Matt & Bob Show (04-18-2024) – Final Third

Food or restaurants talked about during this portion:

• Cooper’s Barbecue (01:10:03) – Location where Matt saw Avery and Nick Sadalino doing a tour presentation
• Shilo’s Delicatessen (01:12:24) – German restaurant in downtown San Antonio, opened in 1917 by Fritz Shilo. Avery wrote scholarship essays about it
• Dick’s Last Resort (01:12:28) – San Antonio restaurant known for its rude service and cutting customers’ ties
• Magic Time Machine (01:13:41) – San Antonio themed restaurant with character servers and the Mineshaft bar. Has the Blind Tiger comedy club in the basement
• Roman Orgy (01:18:32) – A dish served at Magic Time Machine that Avery ordered for their birthday

Any interesting facts shared during this portion:

• Leprosy is resurfacing in the U.S. (01:19:28) – A new strain was only identified in 2008 and is now a growing challenge in parts of North America
• Armadillos can carry leprosy (01:20:02) – Confirmed during discussion about the disease
• Avery studied Texas history extensively (01:11:47) – Took an experimental civic history class called “History of San Antonio” taught by Mr. Tim Draves in high school
• Avery got college scholarships (01:12:04) – By writing essays about San Antonio history, including the German restaurant downtown

Any memorable moments during this portion:

• Miss Pat’s comment to Bob (01:06:09) – Miss Pat told Bob he had “a sleepy face” at the start of her interview, which Matt feared would trigger Bob based on past incidents where he kicked someone out for saying “you look tired”
• Matt’s family story at Magic Time Machine (01:15:33) – Matt’s sister had a diaper blowout while being held by a drunk man in a white linen jacket, creating tracks throughout the restaurant when a roller-skating waitress spread it around
• Ace Ventura waiter moment (01:17:08) – When Avery was 8 years old, their waiter dressed as Ace Ventura asked “would you like to touch my buns?” when serving rolls
• “Mrs. Beardsley” joke (01:27:08) – Andy Kindler’s joke about people asking if he’s gay: “No, I have a wife. And her name is Mrs. Beardsley”
• Secret drinking revelation (01:32:22) – Avery revealed they were secretly drinking airplane bottles throughout the day while trying to hide their addiction for over a decade

Any guests on the show?

• Avery Moore – Comedian taping her first special at Moon Tower Comedy Festival, longtime friend of the show

“This or That” segment – Who was being asked? What were the questions and answers?

• “Morning Acquaintances of Comedy” (01:05:45) – The hosts joked about doing a comedy special called this (riffing on Kings of Comedy/Queens of Comedy format), describing it as comedians who “know some things about each other, but not everything”

Were there any predictions made during this portion?

• Avery’s special release timeline (01:29:23) – Avery wants to have the special finished by next year’s Moon Tower Festival, as she’s making it into a feature-length film with a full musical opening number

What was the “Kick Out the Jams” segment about?

• Van Halen reference (01:30:10) – The segment ended with Matt dedicating Van Halen to Avery, saying “I know you like a little VH” and playing “You Got the Touch”

Summary:

The final portion of the show featured comedian Avery Moore discussing her upcoming Moon Tower Comedy Festival appearances, particularly her first special taping at Cat City Comedy Club on Saturday at 10:30 PM. The conversation began with lighthearted banter about AA sponsorship and family dynamics before transitioning into Avery’s day job giving tours of Austin and San Antonio for corporate clients and tourists. She works alongside other comedians like Nick Sadalino, providing historical tours that combine entertainment with education about Texas history, which she genuinely loves and studied extensively in high school and college.

The hosts spent considerable time discussing San Antonio landmarks and restaurants, particularly the Magic Time Machine, which sparked numerous nostalgic stories. Matt shared a mortifying family story about his sister’s diaper incident at the restaurant, while Avery reminisced about the themed dining experience and the Blind Tiger comedy club in its basement. The conversation revealed Avery’s deep knowledge of San Antonio history, including her scholarship-winning essays about places like Shilo’s Delicatessen. The group also discussed Dick’s Last Resort and its gimmick of servers being intentionally rude to customers.

A significant portion of the interview focused on Avery’s sobriety journey, which she’s been on for 10 months. She opened up about secretly drinking airplane bottles throughout the day for over a decade while simultaneously trying to quit. Avery explained that her relationship with alcohol was partly self-medication for ADHD, and she was skilled at hiding the extent of her substance use from friends. Since getting sober, she’s experienced dramatic physical improvements, with people no longer believing she’s 35, and she’s regained her love for comedy after a period of hating it due to her struggles.

The show also covered Avery’s comedy projects, including “The Joke of Painting,” a seven-year-running show she co-hosts with Andrew Murphy that combines stand-up comedy with painting lessons, inspired by Bob Ross. The show provides art supplies to both performers and audience members, creating a unique interactive experience. Avery revealed that she and Murphy lost money on the show for years, sometimes having to borrow from family to cover the $60-80 monthly supply costs, demonstrating their commitment to the art form despite financial hardship.

The interview concluded with excitement about Avery’s upcoming special, which will be more than just a stand-up recording—she’s creating a feature-length film with a musical opening number that she’ll record in a studio in May. The hosts expressed pride in Avery’s journey and growth, with Matt positioning himself as her “comedy dad.” The show also promoted other Moon Tower appearances, including Andy Kindler’s participation in The Joke of Painting and Rachel Feinstein’s festival shows, while humorously addressing Bob’s resilience after receiving criticism from Miss Pat earlier in the morning.