🎯 TL;DR – Today’s Highlights
Matt, Bob, and Chuy mourn the loss of rock legend Bonnie Tyler at 73, discuss Austin’s restaurant apocalypse as Michelin-starred Olame and James Beard winner El Naranjo close their doors, and somehow spiral from a legitimate male psychology study into an hour-long discussion about anatomy, mandatory school showers, and Bob’s traumatic gym class memories that got so uncomfortable even intern Rachel physically moved away from her microphone. Plus: Eddie Vedder chugs a pint on national TV and immediately drops a new single, Elton John continues touring despite needing multiple bodyguards to board his yacht, and the interns get assigned to perform at the company talent show representing the hosts who “can’t be bothered to showcase their own talents.”
📻 First Hour Analysis 📻
🌭 Is it a Hot Dog Friday Show?
No, this is not a Hot Dog Friday show. This appears to be a Thursday show based on Bob mentioning “the Thursday edition of Rock and Roll News” (00:19:22) 📅
🍔 Food Items/Restaurants Discussed
- Denny’s – Bob mentions taking the interns to Denny’s for “Moons over my hammy for breakfast” (00:41:02) 🥞
- Starbucks – Referenced during a discussion about “pay it forward” customs (00:19:56) ☕
- Mexican food – Discussed in relation to Elton John’s digestive concerns when traveling to Mexico City (00:38:17) 🌮
- General discussion about carpeted bathrooms and toilet comfort with drinking-related humor (00:08:20) 🚽
📰 News Stories Discussed
- Bonnie Tyler’s death – The main news story, discussed at length. She died at 73 in Portugal after being hospitalized and put into a medically induced coma due to complications from an illness (00:25:09) 🎤
- Elton John continuing to tour – Three years after his “farewell tour” ended, he’s heading to Mexico City (00:37:00) 🎹
- Eddie Vedder – Mentioned chugging a pint on camera during a USA football match and dropping a new single called “Better Believe” to capitalize on the attention (00:34:40) ⚽
🖱️ Click Click Boom Segment
The segment featured “Seven Surprising Facts About the Age of Dinosaurs” – Day 3️⃣ of coverage:
- Fact #3: Dinosaurs came in all sizes – From sparrow-sized to the massive Argentinosaurus (discovered in Argentina 🇦🇷), which stood 131 feet tall and was the largest land animal in Earth’s history (00:13:13-00:16:04)
- Fact #4: A dinosaur’s day was different from ours – Earth used to spin faster. 1.4 billion years ago, a day was only 18 hours and 40 minutes. During the dinosaur age, days were about 23 hours long. Currently, Earth’s rotation slows by .0000135 seconds every year ⏰ (00:17:00-00:18:33)
😂 Funny Moments & Memorable Quotes
- Bob’s DJ Card Bit – Bob dramatically “tore up” his laminated DJ license after committing “the most heinous crime in rock and roll” – stepping on Tom Scholz’s vocals during the Boston song intro (00:22:03) 🎸
- “74 degrees on KLBJ FM” – Bob randomly threw in a temperature (likely incorrect) to fill time after coming up short on his talk-up (00:24:18) 🌡️
- Matt’s Welsh Rarebit Joke – After Rachel reported Bonnie Tyler was Welsh, Matt made an absurd joke about her being “attacked by a hummingbird” resulting in a “Welsh rare bite” (00:27:01) 🐦
- Bathroom UV Light Horror – Bob warned everyone about using UV flashlights in bathrooms, describing the terrifying discovery of how dirty surfaces really are: “How did it get that far up the wall?” (00:10:41) 💡
- Elton John Bathroom Puns – A rapid-fire series of Elton John song title puns related to digestive issues from Mexican food, including “Brown Dirt Cowboy” and “Rocket Man” references (00:38:17-00:38:40) 💩
- Bob’s Mattress Table Dream – Matt shared a dream where Bob quit radio to build dining room tables with mattress tops for comfort, and got upset when Matt and Chuy pointed out the impracticality (00:03:00-00:07:00) 🛏️
🎸 Bob’s Rock and Roll News – 5 Paragraph Summary
Bob Fonseca opened his Rock and Roll News segment with his characteristic passion, explaining why he does what he does. He reminisced about being a lonely teenager in England in 1971 🇬🇧, sitting in his room with headphones on while his parents thought he was doing homework. Instead, he was listening to pirate radio stations like Radio Luxembourg broadcasting from ships in the North Sea, playing the rock music that the BBC wouldn’t touch – artists like Lynyrd Skynyrd and The Band. This music saved his life during a difficult time, and now he brings rock and roll news every morning hoping it can save someone else’s life too 📻
The segment took a somber turn as Bob led with the sad news of Bonnie Tyler’s passing, though he handed the lead story to intern Rachel (Rach Against the Machine). The Welsh singer, known for her distinctive raspy voice, died at 73 after being hospitalized in Portugal 🇵🇹 with an illness that led to a medically induced coma. She was a three-time Grammy nominee whose voice became her trademark after she ignored doctors’ orders to rest following throat surgery in 1977, permanently affecting her vocal cords in a way that made her instantly recognizable 🎤
Bonnie Tyler’s biggest hits included “Total Eclipse of the Heart” and “Holding Out for a Hero” (featured in the movie Footloose). The crew noted how both songs are impossible to turn off when they come on the radio 📻 – the kind of tracks that transcend generations. Rachel revealed Tyler was one of seven siblings and had a net worth of $35 million at the time of her death. The discussion included Bob’s observation about the importance of timing in awards season, noting that dying too far from the Grammys (which occur in February) means artists risk being forgotten by the in memoriam segment 🏆
Bob then pivoted to discuss Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam, praising him as “one of the great American rockers that didn’t cheat on his wife.” Vedder was recently caught on camera chugging a pint during a USA football match that they lost. Bob commended Vedder’s savvy move to capitalize on the unexpected national television attention by immediately dropping a brand new solo single called “Better Believe” 🍺. Bob emphasized this as a crucial lesson in rock and roll: “You got to keep the momentum rolling.” The song title was noted as potentially playing off the “Believe” theme popularized by the TV show Ted Lasso ⚽
The segment concluded with intern Jackson (The Injector) contributing a story about Elton John continuing to tour three years after his supposed farewell tour ended 🎹. Despite being seen struggling to board his yacht and requiring assistance from multiple bodyguards, the 76-year-old legend is heading to Mexico City, claiming he was sad about missing it during his initial farewell tour due to COVID. This sparked a hilarious tangent about Elton John’s British constitution not being suited for spicy Mexican food, leading to a barrage of bathroom-related puns using his song titles. The discussion ended with concerns about Bob considering GLP-1 weight loss drugs to lose his “final 10 pounds” despite looking fit for his age 💊
🎤 Rock and Roll Shoutout/Salute
Bob gave an emotional tribute to Bonnie Tyler, noting that she left the world having “given something great to humanity” and asking “how many of us can say that at the end of our life?” (00:28:37) 🌟
🎵 Bands/Artists Mentioned During Bob’s Rock and Roll News
- Bonnie Tyler 🎤
- Boston (Tom Scholz) 🎸
- Pearl Jam / Eddie Vedder 🎤
- Ted Nugent (“Stranglehold”) 🎸
- Lynyrd Skynyrd 🎸
- The Band 🎵
- Elton John 🎹
- Kiss (exit music) 🎸
📝 3 Paragraph Summary (Excluding Rock and Roll News)
The show opened with technical chaos as Jackson (The Injector) filled in behind the board, with Matt giving him detailed instructions on adjusting audio levels while Bob and Chuy watched nervously 🎛️. The morning got off to a rough start with the team working through introductions and Matt sharing another vivid dream – this time about Bob quitting radio to build dining room tables topped with mattresses for comfort, then getting defensive when Matt and Chuy pointed out the obvious design flaws. The dream perfectly captured Bob’s personality, with Matt noting how Bob accused them of being “dream crushers” who don’t support him. The conversation meandered through topics like carpeted bathrooms from the 1970s and 80s, Bob’s horrifying experience using a UV flashlight to discover how dirty his bathroom really was, and speculation about why people would want padded surfaces around toilets (answer: drinking problems) 🚽💡
Click Click Boom continued its third day covering dinosaur facts, with Matt presenting information about dinosaur sizes and Earth’s changing rotation speed 🦕. The crew learned that the largest land animal in Earth’s history was the Argentinosaurus, standing 131 feet tall (roughly 8-10 stories), and that dinosaur-era days were only 23 hours long compared to our current 24-hour days. Earth’s rotation has been gradually slowing, with days getting .0000135 seconds longer each year. The segment sparked discussions about measurements, with Chuy asking for conversions to “footballs” and “cheeseburgers” in classic American fashion 🍔🏈. The team has three more facts remaining for the following day, with Matt noting the upcoming segments will cover T-Rex information and something exciting for the finale ⏰
The latter portion saw the hosts discussing their struggles with motivation and depression, with both Bob and Matt admitting to feeling unmotivated and sad despite having relatively successful lives 😔. They traced this back to having military fathers who instilled in them that any day without accomplishment made them losers. Chuy offered a contrasting perspective, noting that days where nothing happens are good days because nothing bad happened. The conversation shifted to Bob’s consideration of starting GLP-1 weight loss drugs to lose his “final 10 pounds,” despite looking trim and healthy. The team – including interns Rachel and Jackson – tried to talk him out of it, noting he looks great for his age and that older people need to maintain muscle mass and weight for health reasons. The discussion ended with Bob questioning what his goal weight should be and whether he could ever stop taking the medication once started 💊⚖️
🕙 Second Hour Analysis 🕙
🍕 Food Items/Restaurants Discussed
Restaurants & Food Mentions:
- Olame – Austin’s only Michelin-starred Southern restaurant announced closure (00:53:38). Chef Michael Fojtasek cited unsustainable economics: summer sales down 40%, labor costs up 45% since pandemic 📉
- Mayday – Another Fojtasek restaurant where the show had table-sliced prime rib 🥩
- Bartlett’s – Mentioned as surviving despite Olame closing. Recently sold to new ownership 🍽️
- Little Ola’s Biscuit Shop – Closed earlier this year 🥐
- Red Bud Ice House – Also closed earlier this year 🍺
- El Naranjo – James Beard award-winning restaurant owned by Iliana Del Vega, closing this month (00:55:49) 😢
- Teddy’s – Restaurant in old Baby Louie’s location at 38th Street, open just two years, announced closure (00:56:25)
- Hamburger helper – Bob joked about wanting this for his birthday instead of expensive restaurants (01:27:16) 💰
Food Economics Discussion: Matt explained that Austin doesn’t support dining culture like NYC or LA – people go to dinner around 7pm and go home, rather than making reservations at 10-11pm. The post-COVID “roaring 20s” party spending has died down (00:57:19) 🌃
📰 News Stories Discussed
Crypto Kiosk Regulation (00:51:04):
- Texas lawmakers considering regulations on crypto kiosks 💻
- 1,200 Texans lost combined $57 million through crypto kiosks last year alone
- 72-year-old Austin woman lost $5,000 after being coached by fake sheriff’s deputy
- Matt reminded listeners: sheriffs never call you – they just show up at your house if they want to arrest you 👮
Business Development (00:52:33):
- Amazon planning $48 million warehouse in Georgetown 📦
- Buda splash pads broken – won’t work for at least a week (00:53:03) 💦
Workplace News (00:57:27):
- Kendra Scott Jewelry (Austin-based) named one of top businesses to work for in entire country by U.S. News and World Report 💍
- Bob awkwardly kept asking if anyone had met Kendra Scott 😅
🎭 Events & Things To Do
Friday (Tonight) Events:
- Dude Perfect – Moody Center performance (00:59:29) 🤸
- Annie musical – Zach Scott Theater (continues through weekend) 🎭
Saturday Events:
- Still Austin Distillery – Summer kickoff party starting at noon with $1 cold-fashioned drinks for first 100 people with gold cups (01:00:39) 🥃
- Shipwrecked – Pirate-themed pop-up bar at the Eleanor on West 5th Street (01:00:55). Open until August 30th. Get 10% off if you dress as a pirate! 🏴☠️
- Harold and Maude movie screening – State Theater 🎬
- French World Cup watch party – French Legation, 802 San Marcos Street, 7:30-10pm, free with RSVP (01:03:04) ⚽
Sunday:
- Interstellar – Bob Bullock IMAX Theater (01:04:19) 🚀
All Weekend:
- Singing in the Rain – Zilker Hillside Theater, free performances (01:03:29) ☔
😂 Funny or Memorable Quotes
- 💬 Chewy on dry ice: “I don’t know why I looked up what dry ice was for some reason last night.” (01:02:01)
- 💬 Matt on restaurant failures: “She’s really thrown the dice well, but she does have the stain of knowing that at one point she dated a guy who really needs to still drop about 10 pounds.” – referring to Bob’s ex, Kendra Scott (01:05:02)
- 💬 Matt on getting arrested: “As someone who’s been arrested before, they just come to your house, okay? You’ll know it, yeah.” (00:52:12)
- 💬 Bob on Buda splash pads: “Which means, hey, Buda, none of you will be able to bathe for the next week.” (00:53:13)
- 💬 Jackson on his talent: “Much like my looks, that’s all luck.” (01:16:30)
- 💬 Bob on concert selling: “I like that we mope our way into sales.” (01:35:37)
- 💬 Matt explaining their show: “Every other morning show in the country on a rock station is guys talking about what they did last night…We’re losers. We know it. We don’t even have a muscle car between us. The reason that people listen to us is they feel better about themselves going to work because they go, yeah, at least we’re not losers like the guys on the morning show.” (01:36:00)
👥 Phone Callers & Guests
Interns Featured:
- Rachel and Jackson – the “other batch” of interns who alternate days with Tara 🎓
- Rachel attended Girls School of Austin (elementary) then St. Andrew’s (high school) – both private schools 🏫
- Rachel plays piano and guitar, ran cross country and track 🎸
- Rachel’s aspirations: journalism, writing a book, directing a movie 📝
- Jackson – plays House of the Dead at Pinballs, draws anime art, wants to be editor for Twitch streamers 🎮
- Jackson’s main talent: “lack of shame” and willing to pretend to play guitar on stage 😎
🎪 Recurring Jokes/Gags
- Bob’s ex-girlfriend being Kendra Scott – Running joke throughout the segment where they kept bringing up that Bob dated the now-billionaire jewelry mogul (00:57:27 – 01:05:15) 💎
- Bob living too far away – Extended discussion about Bob’s house being 52-55 minutes from downtown, with Matt suggesting Bob should move to an apartment in the city (01:38:18) 🏠
- GameDay Men’s Health sponsorship – Running theme of discussing peptides, GLP-1s, testosterone, and ED treatments (00:49:33) 💉
- “You’ve just been injected” sound effect played multiple times throughout the show ⚡
🎤 Intern Talent Show Assignment
The Assignment (01:06:37):
- Company hosting “Fun Friday” talent show on Friday, August 24th 📅
- Chewy assigned the interns to perform in the talent show representing Matt, Bob & Chewy
- Chewy’s instruction: “Just don’t embarrass us. You’re representing us.”
- Rachel and Tara (the other intern who plays flute) could team up for musical performance 🎵
- Jackson offered to do pro bono editing work for Rachel’s future films at $500 rate 😂
- Matt gave advice: Always quote a rate to weed out unserious people – even $100 minimum will eliminate 99% of time-wasters 💵
Talents Discussed:
- Rachel: piano, guitar, painting, running 🎨
- Jackson: drawing (anime girls, pear-shaped preferred), gaming, lack of shame 🖼️
- Possible performances: Jethro Tull covers, freestyle rap with beatboxing, miming, dance routines 💃
📝 Five Paragraph Summary
Restaurant Industry Crisis in Austin 🍽️
The second hour opened with devastating news for Austin’s culinary scene. Olame, the city’s only Michelin-starred Southern restaurant, announced its closure despite critical acclaim and top rankings in the Austin Statesman for five of the past seven years. Chef Michael Fojtasek explained the brutal economics: summer sales are down 40%, labor costs have increased 45% since the pandemic, and the initial Michelin star buzz only lasted about eight months before customer interest waned. He noted that Austin doesn’t have the dining culture of cities like New York or LA, where people make reservations at 10-11pm—Austinians eat around 7pm and head home. The closures extended beyond Olame, with James Beard award-winner Iliana Del Vega closing El Naranjo, and the recently-opened Teddy’s shutting down after just two years. Matt reflected that the post-COVID spending spree, which he compared to the Roaring Twenties, appears to be settling down after a six-year party run 🎊
Crypto Scams and Local Development 💻
The show shifted to more serious news about cryptocurrency kiosk scams plaguing Texas. State lawmakers are finally considering regulations after 1,200 Texans lost a staggering $57 million through crypto kiosks in just the last year alone. The hosts discussed how a 72-year-old Austin woman was coached by a fake sheriff’s deputy to feed $5,000 into a Bitcoin kiosk, prompting Matt to remind listeners that law enforcement doesn’t call to warn you before arresting you—they just show up at your door. On a more positive note, Amazon announced plans for a $48 million warehouse in Georgetown, bringing jobs and continued growth to the area. The segment also covered Buda’s splash pad mechanical failures, leading to Matt joking that Buda residents wouldn’t be able to bathe for a week 💦
Getting to Know the Interns 🎓
Chewy introduced listeners to the “other batch” of interns—Rachel and Jackson—who alternate days with Tara. The conversation revealed Rachel’s privileged educational background at the Girls School of Austin and St. Andrew’s, where she was forced to learn piano starting in first grade (she switched from violin because it hurt her fingers). She later taught herself guitar in college and has aspirations to work in journalism, write a book, or even direct a movie. Jackson revealed his love for drawing anime characters (specifically pear-shaped women), playing House of the Dead at Pinballs, and his dream of becoming an editor for Twitch streamers. However, he’s been frustrated by content creators who flake on commitments. Matt offered valuable freelance advice: always quote a rate upfront to weed out unserious people, explaining that even a modest rate will eliminate 99% of time-wasters who just want to seem impressive at parties 💼
The Talent Show Assignment 🎪
The big news for the interns was Chewy’s announcement that they’d be participating in the company’s Fun Friday talent show on August 24th. The assignment: perform on behalf of Matt, Bob, and Chewy, who apparently can’t be bothered to showcase their own talents. Rachel and Jackson were given creative freedom to collaborate—perhaps combining Rachel’s guitar with Tara’s flute for some Jethro Tull covers, or attempting freestyle rap with beatboxing. Jackson offered his services as an editor to Rachel’s future film projects at $500 (showing he’d learned Matt’s lesson about quoting rates), while also admitting his main talent was “lack of shame” and willingness to pretend to play guitar on stage. The interns have just over two weeks to prepare, with Chewy’s only instruction being “don’t embarrass us” since they’re representing the show 😅
Bob’s Birthday Blues 🎂
The final segment took a melancholic turn as Chewy asked Bob what he wanted for his upcoming birthday. Bob revealed he’s not particularly happy about this milestone birthday (apparently turning 50-something), dismissing the notion that these are “the best years of your life” as completely false. He complained about needing “a team of people” to keep him going, which gets expensive and time-consuming. When pressed about what he wants, Bob simply said he wants his friends to visit him at his house in the country—expressing frustration that everyone talks about the east side but nobody comes to “the best side, which is the west side.” Matt pointed out that Bob’s house is 52-55 minutes from downtown, essentially in Arizona, and suggested Bob should move to a downtown apartment where he could be close to friends and nightlife. The conversation devolved into jokes about Bob’s ex-girlfriend being billionaire Kendra Scott, and attempts to sell tickets to their upcoming Cap City Comedy Club show on August 6th—Bob’s Big Birthday Bash—which apparently isn’t selling as well as hoped, leading Bob to guilt-trip listeners and suggest canceling the whole thing 🎟️
🕛 Third Hour Analysis 🕛
🌭 Hot Dogs in Studio
No hot dogs were eaten in the studio during this portion of the show! 🌭❌
🍔 Food Items/Restaurants Discussed
- Giddings and Dimebox mentioned as destinations (01:40:43)
- Lemons discussed in context of Snapple fact – heavier lemons produce more juice 🍋
- Red grapefruits mentioned as products of atomic gardening from the 1950s
- Fritos – Bob got one stuck somewhere (02:22:52) 🌽
📰 News Stories Discussed
- Male Psychology Study – Research showing men overestimate what women want in physical attributes (height, build, penis size) and how these traits affect male intimidation vs. female attraction (01:42:00 onwards) 🧠
- Labor Force Exodus – USA Today report about one million workers leaving the workforce, with 720,000 departing in June alone. Labor force participation rate fell to 61.5% for those 16 and older (02:25:01) 📉
- Waymo Incident – Brief mention of autonomous vehicles and whether they can detain passengers committing crimes (02:23:13)
🧠 Interesting Facts Shared
- Mozart’s Sister – Maria Anna Mozart was also a musical prodigy who toured Europe with the family (02:17:33) 🎵
- Atomic Gardening – All red grapefruits resulted from 1950s experiments exposing plants to radiation (02:19:29) ☢️
- Gorilla Anatomy – Adult male gorillas average 169 kg but have combined testes weight of only 29.6 grams – smallest relative to body weight of any great ape (02:20:03)
- Penis Bones – All other primates have actual bones in their penises; humans lost this about a million years ago (02:22:44)
- Circumcision Geography – In Brownsville, most Latino kids were uncircumcised while “wetter boys were cut” according to Matt’s observation (02:15:13)
💪 Memorable Moments
- The Great Dong Discussion – Extended conversation about male anatomy, circumcision, evolutionary psychology, and intimidation that dominated much of the hour (01:42:00-02:17:00) 🙈
- Mandatory School Showers – Bob revealed he had to shower publicly after gym class throughout middle school, leading to discussion of childhood trauma (01:53:58) 🚿
- Father Comparisons – Uncomfortable discussion about whether the hosts had seen their fathers naked, with caller Kim sharing a bizarre ranch story about his dad checking if he and his twin were “actually his boys” (02:05:07) 😬
- Matt’s Proud Papa Moment – Matt made everyone uncomfortable by sharing his wife’s observation about their toddler son’s comparative anatomy at a kiddie pool gathering (02:09:00)
- Chewy’s Revelation – Chewy casually mentioned being uncircumcised and not being bullied because the star athletes also weren’t circumcised (01:54:49)
☎️ Phone Callers
- Kim – Called about being a “grower not a shower” and shared story about his father seemingly trying to verify paternity by catching glimpses of him and his twin brother while they urinated on the ranch (02:05:07) 🤠
- Chelsea – Called about naked old men sunbathing at Barton Springs men’s changing area and asked if Bob compared his son’s anatomy when changing diapers (02:07:07)
- James – Called about showering in underwear for six months in eighth grade because he was younger than classmates who had already hit puberty and had body hair, then joined theater (02:11:11) 🎭
📏 Summary
The final third of the show took an unexpected turn when Matt introduced a scientific study about male psychology and physical attributes, specifically how men overestimate what women find attractive and how penis size affects male intimidation more than actual fighting ability (01:42:00). This launched an extended, increasingly uncomfortable discussion about circumcision, comparative anatomy, childhood shower experiences, and evolutionary biology that dominated the majority of the hour. Despite multiple attempts to change subjects, the conversation kept circling back to the topic. 🔄😅
Bob revealed traumatic memories of mandatory public showers after gym class throughout his youth at various schools, expressing genuine concern about potential psychological damage from the experience (01:53:58). The conversation took particularly awkward turns when discussing whether parents compare their children’s anatomy and Matt’s admission that his wife reported their son was “flexing and intimidating” other toddlers at a kiddie pool gathering. Multiple callers contributed their own stories, and even the female staff members were reluctantly pulled into the discussion. 📞😳
In between the dominant topic, the show managed to squeeze in some actual educational content during the “Facts of the Day” segment. Matt shared that Mozart had a sister who was also a musical prodigy, Bob contributed a Snapple fact about lemon juice production, and Chewy discussed how all red grapefruits resulted from 1950s atomic gardening experiments. They also covered gorilla anatomy and the fact that humans are the only primates without an actual bone in their penis. 🧪🎓
Toward the end, the show briefly pivoted to more serious topics, including a USA Today report about one million workers leaving the U.S. workforce (02:25:01). The hosts discussed possible reasons including retirement, childcare costs (which can equal or exceed one parent’s entire salary), and the aftermath of post-COVID hiring sprees. They shared personal experiences with the economic impossibility of paying for childcare while working, with Matt explaining his wife stayed home for years because working would have netted only about $4,800 annually after childcare costs. 💰👶
The hosts acknowledged multiple times that they’d probably gone too far with the day’s content, with listeners texting to request they return to political talk and others expressing discomfort. Bob joked about the show being canceled, while Rachel physically moved away from her microphone during parts of the discussion. Despite the chaos, the hosts maintained their chemistry and humor throughout, even as they recognized they’d crossed several lines. The segment ended with practical discussions about insurance costs for teen drivers and the financial burden of raising children in modern America. 🚗💸