Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Friday, January 30, 2015
This Show
Part 1: Carissa’s Medical Issues
Dale holds an on-air staff meeting about punctuality after both Carissa and Daniel arrive late, with Carissa citing bathroom issues. The conversation spirals into an extended discussion of Carissa’s various medical concerns, particularly her digestive problems stemming from past bulimia. Dale compares her issues to his sister’s serious cancer diagnosis and suggests Carissa has Munchausen syndrome. The hosts also discuss Tom Petty’s Sam Smith settlement and Bob’s ex-girlfriend Kendra Scott’s business success.
Segments
- Show open [00:00:03] — Daniel’s traditional live show introduction, mentioning the cast and Friday show setup.
- Austin Pets Alive dog shooting [00:01:23] — Dale discusses a constable shooting a dog from Austin Pets Alive and questions why law enforcement doesn’t have better alternatives for handling dogs.
- Staff meeting – punctuality [00:02:32] — Dale confronts Carissa and Daniel about being late, with both citing bathroom issues as their excuse.
- Carissa’s medical issues begin [00:13:00] — The conversation shifts to Carissa having to provide stool samples and upcoming colonoscopy, which Dale views as excessive medical drama.
- Bulimia aftermath [00:14:52] — Carissa explains her 15 years of bulimia damaged her digestive system, causing ongoing problems with eating normally.
- Pattern of medical anxiety [00:18:45] — Dale recounts Carissa’s previous health scares, including pregnancy fears and HIV concerns where she refused to get tested.
- Dale’s sister’s cancer story [00:29:14] — Dale shares his sister’s survival story from non-Hodgkin’s T-cell lymphoma to provide perspective on real illness versus Carissa’s concerns.
- Kendra Scott success story [00:34:08] — Dale reads a Statesman article about Bob’s ex-girlfriend Kendra Scott’s jewelry business success, now with 37 stores and a major Austin headquarters.
- Ketogenic diet discussion [00:38:39] — Dale explains his interest in ketogenic eating and the body’s two fuel engines – glucose versus ketones.
- Munchausen diagnosis [00:40:21] — Dale theorizes that Carissa’s medical fixation stems from childhood attention-seeking when sick, and she becomes emotional.
- Tom Petty clarification [00:42:27] — Discussion of Tom Petty’s statement that he didn’t sue Sam Smith, with Bob providing musicologist perspective on chord structure similarities.
Callers
- Josh [00:40:54] — Had similar stomach issues to Carissa, turned out to be C. diff infection in intestines, cured with Flagyl antibiotic after doctors missed it for a year Dale thanks him and uses it as example that Carissa should let dog lick her elsewhere but not mouth
Text Line
- [00:37:47] Dr. Hicks texts about food being more powerful medicine than pills — read by Dale Dudley Dale reads it to support his ketogenic diet argument with Carissa
Quotes
Excuses build up in bosses heads.
Dale Dudley [00:03:37]
Your Munchausen’s is on fire right now.
Dale Dudley [00:14:36]
You are the craziest person I’ve ever met when it comes to mental.
Dale Dudley [00:21:23]
That’s illness. Wait till you guys go do a colonoscopy.
Dale Dudley [00:30:49]
She was sick, mommy would get off the computer and pay attention to her.
Dale Dudley [00:40:23]
Part 2: Texas Muslim Capitol Day
This segment focuses heavily on Texas Muslim Capitol Day, with Dale expressing strong opposition to protesters who disrupted the event. The hosts discuss a state representative who left anti-Muslim instructions for her staff, play video of a woman disrupting Muslim prayers, and mock protesters at the Capitol. The segment also features Daniel and Carissa’s prank calls to small-town radio swap shop shows (inspired by the Stern show), and ends with listener Q&A about various show topics and history.
Segments
- Show Open and Childhood Memories [00:00:00] — Dale and Matt discuss childhood memories of Texas plants like bull nettle and milkweed, trading stories about growing up in rural Texas.
- Science News: Unboiling Eggs [00:03:28] — Dale mentions science news about ‘unboiling’ eggs and its potential cancer research applications.
- Austin Daycare Incident [00:04:41] — Discussion of two toddlers who wandered into traffic from Austin South Christian Academy daycare on Stassny Lane.
- Daniel’s Prank Calls Introduction [00:13:58] — Dale explains that Daniel made prank calls to swap shop radio shows, which resulted in an angry general manager calling the station.
- Swap Shop Prank Calls [00:14:14] — Daniel and Carissa’s prank calls to small-town radio swap shop shows are played, featuring fake items for sale and a missing/found St. Bernard dog bit.
- Daniel’s Past Prank Calls to Big Talker [00:32:25] — The show plays old audio of Daniel prank calling Sammy on the Big Talker station years ago.
- Muslim Capitol Day Discussion [00:35:13] — Dale launches into an extended rant about Texas Muslim Capitol Day, criticizing State Rep Molly White and protesters who disrupted the event.
- Video of Capitol Protesters [00:39:40] — The hosts watch and react to video of protesters disrupting Muslim prayers, including a woman who grabbed the microphone.
- Listener Q&A Segment [00:47:27] — The hosts take calls from listeners asking questions about show terminology, history, and inside jokes.
Callers
- Jim [00:47:27] — Had a question but didn’t speak or turned radio down Call failed, moved to next caller
- Neil [00:47:37] — Asked what p16 and p17 mean in ratings Dale explained the rating period system; caller mentioned having old FMX cassettes
- Jonathan [00:49:38] — Asked about the noise Dale makes when upset Dale explained he hits the board instead of breaking things
- Brian [00:50:29] — Asked Bob about ‘for Cowley’ reference Bob explained it’s from his motorcycle days, means ‘where the f*** are we’
- Austin [00:51:21] — Asked about making new CDs of show content Hosts explained it’s too much work and the last one had charity money issues
- George [00:52:24] — Asked about favorite Beach Boys song Brief discussion of Beach Boys preferences
- Joey [00:53:16] — Asked ‘what’s a dick for’ Joke question, quickly moved on
- Carlos [00:53:28] — Asked about show intro voice and crying girl sound effect Hosts explained the old man voice is Dave Howard impersonating old radio; crying girl is from webcam video
- Pat [00:54:43] — Asked what happened to Charlie Hosts explained he left to do his own show, mentioned tasty podcasts
- Rob [00:56:02] — Remembered Matt’s Mark Beardsley character who pranked the show Matt confirmed he created that character calling from ‘Californians for a System of Change in Texas’
- Danny [00:57:09] — Had no question, just mentioned a teeth whitening charity Quickly dismissed as not a serious question
- Tucker [00:57:37] — Asked about finding a specific audio clip Hosts said they’d look for it and play it later
- Mark [00:57:17] — Joke caller about teeth whitening charity Hung up on immediately
Text Line
- [00:16:58] Someone texted asking Justin why Carissa is annoying — read by Unknown Started a back-and-forth about Carissa’s on-air presence
Quotes
You’re a dumb cow who got elected. That’s what you are Molly.
Dale Dudley [00:36:57]
You’re missing your front teeth. Concentrate on good dental hygiene before you start yelling.
Dale Dudley [00:43:45]
Are you supposed to stand up and go? That’s not all Christians.
Dale Dudley [00:39:04]
Part 3: Jet skiing down the Mississippi River
Kurt Braunohler, stand-up comedian and adventurer, visits the studio to discuss his charity jet ski trip down the Mississippi River, his Comedy Central show taping tonight and tomorrow at Cap City Comedy Club, and upcoming Late Night with Seth Meyers appearance. The conversation meanders through stories about waking up drunk and disoriented, homemade sex dolls, Florence Henderson’s active sex life at 80, a man who bulldozed his house while his wife was out shopping, and extensive tangents about West Texas radio commercials (particularly ‘Beer Depot’), Texas pronunciation, and personal anecdotes. The hosts give Kurt the ‘secret bat signal’ endorsement for his shows.
Segments
- Opening and Name Pronunciation Anxiety [00:00:00] — Dale apologizes for not getting to all callers in previous segment, mentions ‘audience of one’ opportunities, and immediately struggles with pronouncing Kurt Braunohler’s name, leading to self-reflection about his name pronunciation phobia.
- Kurt Braunohler Introduction and Jet Ski Adventure [00:03:04] — Kurt discusses his Mississippi River jet ski journey from Chicago to New Orleans in seven days, covering 200 miles per day, to raise money for Heifer International (500 goats and 1,000 chickens to Africa). The trip was documented for Comedy Central.
- Time Traveler’s Wife Story [00:06:48] — Kurt tells the true story of waking up nude on the wrong floor of a hotel with a stranger’s keys, comparing the disorientation to the book ‘The Time Traveler’s Wife.’ Dale shares a similar experience of waking up disoriented in Seattle.
- Fleshlight Discussion and Cleaning Protocols [00:16:00] — Extended conversation about fleshlights, their cleaning requirements, Daniel’s refusal to clean his, and Dale’s admission to using one 10-15 times in the 1990s. Discussion of the suction control vent and the Czech model used for the latest design.
- Florence Henderson’s Active Sex Life [00:26:00] — News story about 80-year-old Florence Henderson revealing she has a friend with benefits and dates younger men. Discussion of plastic surgery, Dale’s recent facelift, and upper age limits for dating.
- Homemade Sex Doll Photo Gallery [00:29:00] — Kurt views disturbing photos of men who built elaborate homemade sex dolls, including one with a year-long construction process documented online. General horror and fascination from all hosts.
- West Texas Radio – Beer Depot [00:36:00] — Extended segment listening to and marveling at commercials from 98.3 FM in Pecos, Texas, particularly the ‘Beer Depot’ spot with its echo effect. Multiple returns to Beer Depot throughout the show.
- Man Bulldozes House While Wife Shopping [00:39:00] — News story about James Ryan who bulldozed the family home in Middletown while his wife was out, destroying all her possessions. He was charged with criminal mischief and released on $300 bail.
- Kurt’s Background and Marriage [00:47:00] — Kurt discusses growing up in Asbury Park, New Jersey, his father living in Michigan, meeting his wife at a Yo La Tengo concert (while she was on a date), and being a redhead (disputing the extinction myth).
- Texas and Canadian Alcohol Laws [00:52:00] — Discussion of strange alcohol regulations in Texas (TABC enforcement, hotel bar stings) and Canada (nude dancers must be in separate room from alcohol), plus performers not being allowed drinks on stage in some cities.
- Wrap-up and Show Promotion [01:06:00] — Final plugs for Kurt’s shows at Cap City Comedy Club (two shows tonight and tomorrow, 467-2333), mention of his upcoming Late Night with Seth Meyers appearance on the 25th, and the ‘secret bat signal’ endorsement confirmed.
Guests
- Kurt Braunohler (comedian) [00:00:00] — In-studio throughout the show promoting his Cap City Comedy Club shows (two tonight, two tomorrow) and discussing his Mississippi River jet ski adventure for charity and upcoming Seth Meyers appearance
- John (other) [00:00:33] — Audience member sitting in studio on a Friday as part of ‘audience of one’ program
Callers
- unnamed [00:00:00] — Previous segment had ‘jokesters’ calling in (not fully detailed) Dale cut the segment short due to prank callers
- Pat (actually Paul) [00:44:30] — Works at correctional facility, mentions inmates making ‘Fifi dolls’ from toilet paper rolls Brief exchange about prison guard work and connection to comedian Jimmy Roulette who became a prison guard
- Will [01:06:18] — Commented on the bulldozed house story – noted that even the news station couldn’t reach the wife Quick joke about her being at Beer Depot
- Brandon [01:24:47] — Asked if Dale heard Opie and guest discussing preferring local markets over national shows Led to Dale reflecting on loving his job this week, possibly due to not drinking
Quotes
I get nervous about names. I don’t know why.
Dale Dudley [00:00:46]
I found myself totally nude on the fifth floor when I was staying on the 23rd floor with a stranger’s house keys.
Kurt Braunohler [00:06:09]
If you only knew. I have a responsibility to keep generating those bits.
Kurt Braunohler [00:12:33]
It’s Pecos, not Pecos. It’s Pecos Bill!
Dale Dudley [00:21:14]
I hate myself. That’s more accurate than I don’t like myself.
Dale Dudley [00:26:48]
I tried calling her, she didn’t answer the phone.
James Ryan [00:39:30]