Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Tuesday, May 19, 2015
This Show
Part 1: Marriage Bliss
The show opens with Dale discussing whether it’s okay to say ‘hola’ to Spanish speakers, then devolves into Dale complaining about his wife not touching him anymore. The hosts discuss NASA’s simulation theory and Game of Thrones. Daniel reveals his wife is away on vacation (already, despite just getting married) and won’t let him get a chiminea. Dale and Bob mock Daniel extensively for wanting a chiminea to use as a planter and for claiming to have irritable bowel syndrome without a diagnosis.
Segments
- Show Open [00:00:01] — Standard show introduction with cast credits and opening banter about saying ‘hola’ to neighbors.
- Game of Thrones and Video Games [00:03:50] — Dale discusses watching Game of Thrones and compares Clash of Clans to Stratego. Bob doesn’t watch the show.
- Bad Investment and Neil deGrasse Tyson Scheduling [00:08:20] — Dale and Bob lament their bad game face investment. They discover Neil deGrasse Tyson interview was scheduled for wrong date.
- NASA Simulation Theory [00:13:00] — Dale reads article about NASA scientists theorizing we may be living in a computer simulation. Extended discussion about the implications.
- Justin Calls About Falling Star [00:28:37] — Caller reminds Dale about his hungover voice memo asking ‘Falling star, when did it happen?’
- The Chiminea Saga Begins [00:33:00] — Dale reveals listener Aaron Haley offered Daniel a free chiminea but Daniel never responded. Discussion reveals Daniel’s wife won’t let him have it.
- Daniel’s Wife on Vacation [00:15:00] — Daniel reveals his wife is on a trip to the coast, despite just getting married. He doesn’t know when she’s returning.
- Dale’s Marriage Complaints [00:15:32] — Dale complains his wife doesn’t want to touch him anymore and he has no hobbies. Says marriage has settled into typical patterns.
- Chiminea Confusion [00:38:30] — Daniel reveals he wanted a chiminea to use as a planter, shocking everyone. Discussion of outdoor pizza ovens ensues.
- Irritable Bowel Syndrome Claims [00:43:55] — Dale questions whether Daniel and Carissa both claim to have IBS. Daniel admits he hasn’t been diagnosed yet despite claiming to have it.
Callers
- Justin [00:28:37] — Asked about Dale’s ‘falling star, when did it happen’ voice memo from when Dale was hungover Dale corrected the story – he wasn’t in the hospital on morphine, he was hungover driving his car
- unnamed [00:41:20] — Called to say you can buy outdoor propane pizza ovens at Lowe’s or Home Depot Dale thanked him, Daniel didn’t believe outdoor pizza ovens are sold at Home Depot
Quotes
We made bad investments because Jesus wanted us to keep the radio show going for the people.
Dale Dudley [00:09:47]
My wife doesn’t want to touch me anymore.
Dale Dudley [00:15:32]
When I say I want something, it doesn’t mean I’m allowed to have it.
Daniel Gallo [00:35:05]
White couples move to the suburbs and spend thousands on things they use twice.
Matt Bearden [00:42:00]
Part 2: IBS and Nervous Colon
Dale and Bob argue about mic switches being left on during a commercial break, leading to an F-bomb going out over the air. The show then pivots to an extended discussion about Carissa claiming to have irritable bowel syndrome without a formal diagnosis, with Dale insisting she’s a hypochondriac. Daniel reveals he has ‘nervous colon,’ which the hosts mock relentlessly. Later, Dale announces he successfully booked Lt. Governor Dan Patrick under the pretense of KLBJ (without specifying FM vs. AM), but after discussion, the hosts decide to cancel the interview out of fear of retaliation.
Segments
- Mic Switch Mishap [00:00:01] — Dale and Bob argue about who turned on mics during a commercial break, leading to an F-bomb going out over the air. They discuss whether equipment was set down on switches or if someone accidentally hit them.
- CPAP Machine Discussion [00:02:50] — Dale enthusiastically discusses his new ResMed 10 CPAP machine and AirFit P10 nasal pillow mask, recommending sleep studies to listeners while the hosts mock his enthusiasm for medical equipment.
- IBS and Carissa’s Health Claims [00:05:35] — Dale announces a new blood test for IBS. This launches an extended discussion about Carissa claiming to have irritable bowel syndrome without a formal diagnosis, with Dale calling her a ‘sympathy troll’ and insisting she doesn’t have anything.
- Daniel’s Nervous Colon [00:11:12] — Daniel claims to have inherited ‘nervous colon’ from his family. The hosts mock the term extensively, suggesting his diet of fast food and caffeine is the real problem.
- Greg Abbott Fracking Bill [00:18:19] — Dale discusses Greg Abbott signing HB 40, which prevents local municipalities from banning fracking. Dale calls it pure cronyism and notes students turned their backs on Abbott at a UNT commencement.
- Open Carry Legislation [00:25:19] — The show plays KVUE coverage of open carry legislation moving forward, with an amendment that would prevent police from checking if people openly carrying have licenses.
- Dan Patrick Booking Debacle [00:28:43] — Daniel reveals he booked Lt. Governor Dan Patrick by telling his office it was for ‘KLBJ’ without specifying FM. After extensive discussion about whether they can be honest with him on air, the hosts decide to cancel out of fear of political retaliation.
- Bill Donohue vs. Louis C.K. [00:39:04] — The show plays clips of Catholic League president Bill Donohue attacking Louis C.K. and David Letterman for anti-Catholic jokes. Dale goes on an extended rant defending comedy and attacking the Church’s cover-up of child abuse.
- Kilt Prom Controversy [00:47:01] — News story about a homeschooled student denied entry to prom for wearing his grandfather’s Scottish kilt. The hosts debate whether kilts are dresses and mock homeschool proms.
- Homebrewed Opioids [00:51:36] — Dale reads about scientists developing genetically modified yeast that could theoretically allow people to brew morphine and heroin at home like beer.
Text Line
- [00:19:17] Suggested Carissa look up symptoms of lactose intolerance, thinking that’s what she’s suffering from — read by Dale Dudley Dale relays the suggestion to Carissa, who dismisses it
Quotes
Your mom did a number on you, man. You just want to be sick.
Dale Dudley [00:06:58]
You don’t get to have something until you’re diagnosed by a medical professional.
Dale Dudley [00:13:27]
Greg Abbott has legalized earthquakes, ladies and gentlemen.
Dale Dudley [00:20:27]
This lieutenant governor can make my life miserable somehow.
Dale Dudley [00:32:05]
Protection and collusion and conspiracy to keep boy and female child rapists secret for hundreds of years.
Dale Dudley [00:41:55]
Waco Bikers
The hosts spend most of this segment discussing the Waco Twin Peaks biker shootout that left 9 dead and 170 arrested. Dale is anxious about an upcoming interview with Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick, worrying about being transparent that Patrick is appearing on the FM station. The discussion veers into bizarre territory when Daniel reveals he thought commercial airliners had parachutes for passengers, leading to an extended conversation about plane crashes, physics, and emergency procedures. The show maintains its characteristic mix of serious news discussion and absurdist comedy.
Segments
- Dan Patrick Interview Anxiety [00:00:00] — Dale expresses nervousness about interviewing Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick, demanding Daniel send transparent emails making clear Patrick will be on KLBJ-FM, not the AM station, to avoid accusations of setting him up.
- X Games Ticket Giveaway [00:03:32] — Dale does a giveaway for 3-day passes to the X Games, keyword ‘enduro’ to 29217.
- Waco Biker Shootout Discussion Begins [00:05:05] — The hosts discuss the Twin Peaks shooting in Waco where 170 bikers were arrested. Dale questions what charges allow police to arrest everyone present and notes TABC revoked the franchise.
- Texas Patch Territorial Dispute [00:19:56] — Caller Russ explains the shootout was over motorcycle gangs fighting about who can wear a Texas patch on their vests, particularly involving the Bandidos.
- Aging Rebel Blog Account [00:20:20] — Dale reads from a blog claiming SWAT teams were pre-deployed in the parking lot and that all nine deaths may have been from police gunfire, not biker-on-biker violence.
- Airplane Hacker Story [00:27:00] — Discussion of Chris Roberts, a security researcher who claimed he hacked into a plane’s entertainment system and took control of the aircraft navigation, leading to FBI investigation.
- Daniel’s Parachute Revelation [00:32:00] — Daniel admits he thought commercial airliners had parachutes for passengers, sparking an extended conversation about plane safety, crash physics, and why parachutes wouldn’t work.
- Dan Patrick Interview Planning [00:43:00] — Caller Pat suggests questions for Dan Patrick about open carry laws in relation to Waco, Perry’s indictment, and other Texas political issues. The hosts decide to take listener questions.
- Japanese Plane Crash Story [00:53:00] — Dale tells the tragic story of a Japanese 747 that lost its rudder and spun slowly for an extended time, with passengers writing farewell notes to loved ones before the crash.
Callers
- Russ [00:18:56] — Explained the Waco biker shootout was about territorial disputes over the Texas patch on motorcycle vests Provided context about motorcycle club culture that the hosts didn’t fully understand, though Dale remained confused about why middle-aged men would fight over patches
- Pat [00:43:55] — Suggested questions for the upcoming Dan Patrick interview, including about open carry laws and Waco, Perry’s indictment, and Texas Agricultural Commissioner issues The hosts decided to use listener-submitted questions for the Patrick interview to take pressure off themselves
- Dragon [00:49:28] — Called about parachutes on planes, mentioning NASA uses parachutes on the space shuttle Brief discussion about space shuttle parachutes being used at much lower speeds on the ground, not comparable to commercial aircraft
- unnamed [00:50:26] — Called about using air brakes to slow down a crashing plane Dale dismisses the idea, explaining that if a plane is crashing, passengers are going to die regardless of parachutes or other measures
Quotes
I’m horrified that we gave in to the rural rednecks of this world
Dale Dudley [00:04:12]
These guys were 40 and 50 years old, you’re upset about a patch?
Dale Dudley [00:20:30]
I don’t even walk near the door I’m afraid I might bump into it
Daniel Gallo [00:37:33]
If you’re in a plane that is going to crash you are a dead person
Dale Dudley [00:50:33]