Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Wednesday, June 3, 2015
This Show
Part 1: Men Sitting
The show opens with hosts dealing with various ailments – Matt has throat and stomach issues, Carissa has ‘women problems,’ and CJ didn’t sleep. Bob shares his love for the Entourage movie despite admitting it’s poorly made. The main segment focuses on ‘manspreading’ – two men arrested in NYC for sitting with legs too wide on the subway. This sparks an extended discussion about how men sit, leg-crossing etiquette, and anatomical differences. Bob enthusiastically pitches a KFC commercial featuring Daryl Hammond as Colonel Sanders singing ‘I need nothing, I have everything I need’ as potential song of the summer, but Matt and the crew are skeptical and mock his enthusiasm.
Segments
- Show open and Agent Damage Report [00:00:26] — Dale opens the show and reprises his ‘Spy Kids 3D’ character ‘Agent Damage Report’ to check on the health and status of the crew. Matt has throat/stomach issues, Carissa has health problems, CJ didn’t sleep, and Daniel feels good despite his wife being sick.
- X Games guest postponed [00:02:56] — Brian Deegan from X Games is pushed to tomorrow due to a flat tire. Dale wants to do a segment about extreme stunts people did as kids anyway.
- Bob’s Spy Kids 3D character name [00:04:39] — Bob brags about being ‘Agent Damage Report’ in Spy Kids 3D, sitting next to Salma Hayek for two days. His name is misspelled ‘Bob Funcella’ in the TV credits, possibly explaining why he’s not getting residual checks.
- Daniel’s Entourage movie date night [00:11:04] — Daniel’s wife took him to an early screening of Entourage. He admits it’s ‘maybe the worst movie’ but loved every second as a guilty pleasure hanging with the characters. Matt and Dale debate whether it’s just a TV show stretched thin.
- Taco show idea [00:14:17] — Matt jokes about creating their own HBO show called ‘Taco Boys’ or similar, just a narrative about them getting tacos every week with character names like ‘Itchy’ for Carissa.
- Manspreading arrests [00:16:17] — Dale introduces the topic of ‘manspreading’ – two men arrested in NYC for sitting with legs too wide on the subway. This kicks off an extended discussion about how men sit, anatomical reasons for wider stances, and whether it’s reasonable to expect men to sit with knees together.
- Proper leg-crossing techniques [00:23:36] — The crew debates different leg-crossing positions – the ‘high cross’ (ankle on knee), the ‘low cross’ (knee over knee like women), ankle cross, and which positions convey power, confidence, or femininity. Carissa weighs in on what looks masculine.
- Wacky socks for big feet [00:28:51] — Daniel complains that he can’t find wacky novelty socks in size 14-15 and has to shop at Target for special large sizes. He wanted pepperoni pizza socks but they didn’t come in his size.
- KFC Colonel Sanders commercial [00:30:00] — Bob plays a KFC commercial featuring Daryl Hammond as Colonel Sanders singing ‘I need nothing, I have everything I need’ while walking with a bucket. Bob is obsessed with it and nominates it as song of the summer, but Matt and the crew are baffled and mock his enthusiasm.
- Debate over the commercial [00:35:05] — Matt argues that Gen X and Millennials reject overt advertising and can’t get excited about commercials. Bob defends the simplicity of the ad versus quick-cut beer commercials. The crew discusses advertising mascots and whether Carissa knew Colonel Sanders was a real person.
- Contest promos [00:43:27] — Dale promotes Chris Cornell tickets and X Games passes with Metallica. Reminds listeners to call when they hear Metallica beds coming out of commercial breaks.
Recurring Bits
- Song of the Summer [00:30:00] — Bob nominates the KFC Colonel Sanders ‘I need nothing’ commercial as the first entry for song of the summer, despite skepticism from the rest of the crew
Quotes
The greatest days: the day you buy it and the day you sell it. That’s a boat.
Dale Dudley [00:05:48]
Men don’t sit like that for a reason, anatomically the way we’re built.
Matt Bearden [00:17:53]
This is receiving position. This is a giving position.
Matt Bearden [00:27:22]
It’s an old man saying I don’t need anything. That’s your dream, Bobby.
Matt Bearden [00:38:00]
Part 2: X-TREME Childhood Sports
The hosts discuss extreme childhood activities in the era before helicopter parenting, prompted by the upcoming X Games in Austin. Stories range from dangerous BB gun escapades and DIY bike ramps to canal surfing behind cars. Hop Doddy surprised the crew by cooking burgers in the parking lot, announcing a flood relief fundraiser. News breaks about a planned inland surf park near Austin’s airport, sparking skepticism about water sourcing.
Segments
- Show Intro and Under-Five Film Fest Promo [00:00:00] — Bob opens, discusses schedule changes. Dale promotes the Under-Five Film Fest with $10,000 in prizes including $6,000 grand prize, submissions due June 12.
- Bob’s KFC Commercial Debunked [00:02:19] — Dale reveals Bob’s beloved KFC commercial is actually a note-for-note ripoff of Kill Screen’s 2012 song ‘I Need Nothing.’ The band made an inventive Dylan-style video using vinyl album titles.
- King of Kong Digression [00:05:36] — Discussion of the documentary King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters and Donkey Kong kill screens. Matt mentions Billy Mitchell and the competitive gaming scene.
- Matt’s Oil Rig Anniversary [00:07:29] — 25 years ago today, Matt became a man by starting work on an offshore oil rig. He describes the brutal five-hour crew boat ride in 15-foot seas and immediate work assignment despite severe seasickness.
- High School Reunion Dread [00:11:19] — Dale discusses being added to his high school reunion Facebook group, admits he hated high school and doesn’t remember anyone. Describes feeling ‘hunted down and found’ like Whitey Bulger.
- Childhood BB Gun War Crimes [00:14:58] — Dale tells stories of shooting cars stuck in car washes with BB guns, shooting girls at air pumps, and a friend threatening a UPS driver with a wrist rocket after hitting him with an acorn.
- Hop Doddy Surprise Visit [00:20:56] — Hop Doddy (voted #1 burger in America by Business Insider) sets up outdoor kitchen in parking lot. Mitch (director of development) is father of kid Bob coached in baseball. Announces 100% of sales tomorrow going to Wimberley flood relief.
- X-Treme Childhood Sports Segment Begins [00:29:00] — Hosts discuss dangerous childhood activities: bikes without helmets, riding backwards down hills, climbing trees too high to get down, building quarter-pipe ramps. Matt describes rope-swing bike contraption.
- Caller Stories: Extreme Childhood [00:40:03] — PD admits stealing and destroying a car in Tucson in 1979. Mark describes canal surfing behind cars in the Rio Grande Valley. CJ recalls crashing cars into snow drifts in Amarillo. Michael jumped bikes into lakes. Stewie did roof flips onto trampolines positioned near cacti.
- Austin Surf Park News [00:48:04] — KXAN report about NLand Surf Park coming in 2016 near the airport. Nine football fields, 11 surfing areas, backed by Doug Coors. Hosts express skepticism about water sourcing during drought. Caller Pat (40-year surfer) is excited but wants details.
- Metallica Sounder Tease [00:56:18] — Reminder to listen for Metallica bed for X Games three-day passes and concert tickets.
Guests
- Mitch (Hop Doddy) (other) [00:20:56] — Director of Development for Hop Doddy, father of kid Bob coached in baseball, brought outdoor kitchen to cook burgers as surprise reconciliation gesture
- Aaron (Hop Doddy) (other) [00:20:56] — Marketing and PR for Hop Doddy, accompanied Mitch for the visit
Callers
- PD (Austin area) [00:40:20] — Stole a car with friends in Tucson in 1979 as high school freshman, destroyed transmission by slamming into reverse at 40mph, abandoned it Dale joked about statute of limitations; became example of extreme youthful stupidity
- Mark (Rio Grande Valley) [00:42:21] — Canal surfing – tying surfboards to cars and being towed through irrigation canals in South Texas Brief call, good example of regional extreme activity
- Michael [00:44:04] — Built science fair ramp at boat launch, jumped bikes into lake, friend nearly hit concrete after destroying ramp Dale mentions Fiesta Gardens aqua olympics as similar modern event
- Stewie [00:45:36] — Jumped off farmhouse roof onto trampoline positioned next to cactus patch, pushed cousins into cacti Dale appreciated the cruelty-to-children aspect
- Sophia (Southern California (formerly)) [00:46:33] — Rode cardboard boxes down sand hills trying to cross PCH highway without getting hit by cars Led to discussion of finding slickest materials for sledding/sliding
- Pat [00:54:31] — 40-year surfer excited about surf park, drives to Corpus Christi every other weekend, wondering if it will be saltwater Dale joked about adding sharks for realism; caller’s enthusiasm contrasts with hosts’ skepticism
Music
- Kill Screen — Song ‘I Need Nothing’ from 2012 played to show KFC commercial plagiarized it. Features Dylan-style video using vinyl album titles.
Quotes
I felt like Whitey Bulger when the FBI finally showed up at his door
Dale Dudley [00:12:19]
You don’t have a dad? That’s your problem
Dale Dudley (recounting UPS driver) [00:19:00]
I pulled up and assumed I’m getting ready to get stabbed or shot with an AK-47
Matt Bearden [00:24:13]
You feel like hey these are the ad men
Bob Fonseca [00:33:03]
Part 3: Transgender Nation
The hosts discuss transgender issues following the Caitlyn Jenner story, including Mike Huckabee’s controversial comments. The conversation shifts to Portland vs Austin’s ‘weirdness,’ with the crew lamenting that Austin has lost its authentic weird culture due to rising costs and commercialization. They debate what makes a city truly weird versus contrived weird, reminisce about Austin’s cheaper, more bohemian past, and discuss the difficulty musicians face affording to live in Austin anymore.
Segments
- Surf Park and Metallica [00:00:08] — Brief discussion about a surf park under construction and Metallica playing underneath the studio at X Games.
- HopDotty Burger Break [00:02:47] — The hosts discuss eating HopDotty burgers during the break, with Dale particularly praising the bun quality.
- Transgender Nation Discussion [00:04:17] — Bob introduces the transgender topic with hesitation about vocabulary. They play Mike Huckabee audio making controversial jokes about transgender bathroom access.
- Huckabee Bathroom Remarks [00:06:19] — The hosts analyze Huckabee’s comment wishing he could have ‘felt like a woman’ to shower with girls in high school, discussing whether it’s creepy or just pandering to his base.
- Federal Restroom Guidelines [00:10:00] — Bob reads OSHA guidelines stating transgender employees should use restrooms corresponding to their gender identity. Discussion about whether men would pretend to be transgender to access women’s rooms.
- Privilege and Inconvenience [00:13:36] — Dale discusses privilege, noting that objecting to bathroom changes means preferring personal convenience over helping people who’ve only experienced inconvenience.
- X Games Metallica Giveaway [00:19:11] — The hosts promote their final three-day X Games pass giveaway and preview tomorrow’s VIP experience giveaway.
- Cruise Cast Promotion [00:21:25] — Bob promotes tomorrow’s ‘Cruise Cast’ at Cap City Comedy Club at 5pm, a meet-and-greet about their European cruise with no obligation to attend.
- Portland vs Austin Weirdness [00:22:42] — The crew begins comparing Portland and Austin, with Dale describing Portland’s better public transportation, older architecture from early shipping wealth, and more committed weird culture.
- Who is Austin’s Weird Champion? [00:28:08] — CJ asks who Austin’s weird champion is now that Leslie has passed. They discuss Naked Thong Guy and lament the lack of iconic weird figures.
- Portland’s Flaming Bagpipe Unicyclist [00:30:31] — CJ describes Portland’s dedicated performer who rides a unicycle with flaming bagpipes every Friday in different costumes, specifically doing Monty Python themes.
- Austin Has Sold Its Weirdness [00:32:01] — Caller Justin argues Austin sold its weirdness for money, turning South by Southwest and ACL into commercial events. The hosts agree Austin has become more about profit than authentic culture.
- Celebrity Culture Problem [00:34:44] — Discussion about how Austin audiences only pack celebrity shows at comedy festivals but won’t take chances on unknown performers, unlike Portland’s more adventurous audiences.
- Too Expensive to Be Weird [00:38:20] — Dale argues that Austin’s high cost of living ($1,100 for a one-bedroom) has driven out the creative class who used to create weird culture when they could afford to live on minimal work.
- Nostalgia for Cheap Austin [00:40:58] — The hosts reminisce about when downtown rooms were $100-200/month and friends would do spontaneous art projects like setting up TVs to show Cops reruns in alleys with American flags.
- What Can We Do? [00:43:00] — CJ pushes for ideas on how to bring back weirdness, suggesting guerrilla marketing and random acts of creativity, but the hosts acknowledge the difficulty given current costs and regulations.
- Musicians Can’t Afford Austin [00:45:37] — Discussion of the $45,000 music study that concluded musicians can’t afford to live in Austin because venues no longer charge cover and audiences won’t pay for music.
- New Orleans as Real Weird [00:50:56] — Caller Michael compares Austin unfavorably to New Orleans, where you ‘feel’ the weirdness authentically rather than the contrived weirdness of Austin.
- Where Did The Weird People Go? [00:52:25] — The hosts wonder what happened to Austin’s weird fixtures like the motorcycle guy with puppies in sunglasses, flower sellers, Mr. Incense, and the preacher carrying a wheeled cross.
- Weird Homes Tour and Chris Cubas Show [00:53:39] — Dale promotes the Weird Homes Tour happening this weekend and Chris Cubas’s monthly comedy show at King B (the old White Swan) on 12th and Chaconne.
Callers
- Justin [00:32:01] — Austin selling its weirdness for profit His point that Austin has commercialized everything (South by Southwest, ACL, Aquafest) resonated with the hosts and shaped the rest of the segment’s discussion about authenticity vs profit.
- Michael [00:50:45] — Comparing Austin unfavorably to New Orleans’ authentic weirdness His comparison validated the hosts’ argument that Austin’s weirdness feels contrived compared to cities like New Orleans where the culture feels organic and genuine.
Text Line
- [00:52:25] Twitter user Snowflake said Austin now has ‘contrived weirdness’ — read by Dale Dudley This crystallized the hosts’ argument perfectly – Austin’s weirdness now feels manufactured and forced rather than authentic, validating their entire Portland comparison.
Quotes
No man is going to pretend he’s transgender to look at women in restrooms
Dale Dudley [00:11:02]
Shouldn’t you be looking out for people that don’t have it as good as you?
Dale Dudley [00:14:12]
I lived here when it was cool, not when it was hip
Caller Justin [00:32:47]
It’s too expensive to be an idiot in Austin anymore
Dale Dudley [00:39:57]
A wristwatch is just a working man’s handcuff, man
Dale Dudley [00:40:52]