Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Thursday, September 8, 2016
This Show
Part 1: Pipelines and Tree Stumps
The opening segment features a parody of the local Swap N Shop call-in show where hosts prank the host with ridiculous items. Dale discusses personal frustrations including his wife Amanda’s outrage over a tree stump left by fence contractors at their Leander home. Amanda calls in demanding the home builder acknowledge and fix the problem. The discussion devolves into family banter about the stump, fence repairs, and cedar mulch piles behind their house. Dale also mentions ongoing Ancestry DNA results pending for an upcoming on-air reveal.
Segments
- Swap N Shop Prank [00:00:01] — The show opens with a prank call to the local Swap N Shop radio show, with Dale calling in repeatedly with absurd items for sale including a silver kazoo, Mighty Mug, Evan Fonseca artwork, Squatty Potties, and pets, frustrating the host who tries to enforce a three-item limit.
- Show Open and Fantasy Draft Results [00:04:09] — Dale opens the main show, mentions needing to use the restroom, and discusses the previous night’s fantasy football draft. Bob auto-drafted and ended up with the number one ranked team according to Fantasy Pros analysis, much to Dale’s annoyance.
- Household Tensions [00:08:40] — Dale recounts yelling at his wife, father-in-law, and his wife during the draft night. He discusses feeling treated like one of the children when trying to discipline them, and his wife’s insistence he read parenting books.
- Ancestry DNA Mix-Up [00:18:01] — Dale confesses he completely screwed up the Ancestry DNA segment by not reading instructions properly. Instead of one shared profile, everyone created individual profiles, creating privacy issues. He’s now working with Ancestry to coordinate access for an on-air reveal.
- Jimmy LaFave Pipeline Controversy [00:27:06] — Chris Mosier from KGSR called Dale about musician Jimmy LaFave being attacked online because an investor in a recording studio LaFave co-owns is also funding the controversial Dakota Access Pipeline. Dale defends LaFave, saying the studio investment had nothing to do with oil.
- Bank Robber Prefers Jail to Wife [00:31:00] — Discussion of a 70-year-old Kansas City man who robbed a bank, wrote the note in front of his wife, then sat in the lobby waiting for police because he said he’d rather be in jail than at home with his wife.
- The Tree Stump Saga Begins [00:33:00] — Dale introduces his wife Amanda’s obsession with a tree stump situation at their Leander home. Fence contractors cut down a tree that was partially on their property, leaving a stump against their fence, and Amanda is furious the home builder hasn’t responded to calls.
- Amanda Calls In About the Stump [00:37:00] — Amanda calls the show to vent about the stump, explaining she’s called the home builder twice with no response, and there are also massive piles of cedar mulch behind the house. She wants acknowledgment and for them to remove the stump and fix the fence, not a DIY solution.
- Stump Debate Continues [00:41:00] — Amanda insists the stump will hurt resale value and refuses to pay for removal herself. Dale thinks she’s overreacting to a small stump. Various solutions are proposed including grinding it down, but Amanda wants the home builder to handle it. She reveals the home builder is ‘Lehman’ (rhyming game).
- I-35 Roundabout News [00:47:01] — Dale mentions ground was broken on a new roundabout at I-35 and 51st Street, joking about watching Texans try to navigate roundabouts since they’re uncommon in Texas.
- Bed Bug Update [00:50:01] — Caller Chris asks for an update on Dale’s bed bugs. Dale reports he’s been clean for two weeks after one ‘lone wolf’ bed bug was found dying. A caller mentions his wife has bites after Rome trip; Dale advises calling ABC Home and Commercial Services immediately.
Callers
- Cameron [00:40:32] — Suggested using a stump grinder on the tree stump Amanda rejected the suggestion, insisting the home builder should handle it
- Jason [00:50:01] — Suggested calling warranty department about stump grinding Dale said they’d already contacted the builder, discussion shifted to deeper issues
- Chris [00:50:50] — Asked for bed bug update, mentioned his wife has bites after Rome trip Dale advised him to call ABC Home and Commercial Services immediately
Music
- Jimmy LaFave — Song played briefly during discussion of pipeline controversy, hosts sang along
Quotes
I do control the buttons. We encourage everybody to follow our rules.
Swap N Shop host [00:02:20]
We should throw those in to fill time because that’s a lot funnier than we’ve ever been.
Dale Dudley [00:06:32]
Your friends are all jerky buttholes. That’s what they are.
Dale Dudley [00:29:25]
This is my homestead, okay?
Amanda Dudley [00:38:51]
Part 2: Fair Foods
This segment is dominated by an extended Fast Food Fanatic discussion about state fair foods from Minnesota and Los Angeles County fairs. The hosts spend excessive time re-arguing Daniel’s controversial stance on double-meat burgers, which devolves into debates about food preferences, sugar addiction, and structural food logic. Dale also covers Texas political corruption allegations involving Attorney General Ken Paxton and Governor Greg Abbott possibly receiving donations from Trump in exchange for not pursuing Trump University lawsuits. A brief clip of Ann Coulter’s poorly-received Rob Lowe roast performance is analyzed.
Segments
- Show Opening and Billboard Story Setup [00:00:02] — Dale discusses a controversial ‘Fix the Gay’ billboard in Waco, Texas promoting conversion therapy. The hosts discuss whether Waco has an LGBT community.
- Fast Food Fanatic Begins [00:09:49] — Dale introduces the Fast Food Fanatic segment focusing on state fair foods. The segment is supposed to last 9-11 minutes but goes much longer.
- Double Burger Debate Reignites [00:12:34] — The hosts re-enter the exhausting debate about double-meat burgers with Daniel, who maintains his opposition. Multiple callers call in claiming to be ‘dead’ from listening to the argument.
- Minnesota State Fair Foods [00:21:48] — Dale presents foods from the Minnesota State Fair including maple bacon tipsy pie, deep fried pickles, tater dogs, sheepdog (lamb dog), and macaroni and cheese curds. Daniel rejects most items.
- Double Cheeseburger Day Revelation [00:28:58] — Caller Shirley reveals that September 15th is National Double Cheeseburger Day, creating confusion about whether ‘double cheeseburger’ means double cheese or double meat.
- LA County Fair Foods [00:37:04] — The show moves to Los Angeles County Fair foods including the Krispy Kreme six-stack burger, chicken and waffles on a stick, and deep fried hot sauce balls.
- Daniel’s Sugar Addiction Discussed [00:43:04] — The hosts analyze Daniel’s preference for sweets over savory foods, concluding he has a sugar addiction. Daniel admits he can never get full on sweets and has food quirks like peeling all potatoes to avoid ‘rat feces.’
- Ann Coulter Roast Bombing [00:49:13] — Dale plays clips from Ann Coulter’s poorly-received performance at the Rob Lowe roast. She claims editing made her look bad, but Matt explains she simply bombed and cannot hear it properly.
- Texas Political Corruption Story [00:56:59] — Dale covers allegations that Governor Greg Abbott (as former Attorney General) and current AG Ken Paxton may have received Trump donations in exchange for not pursuing Trump University lawsuits. Abbott tweeted calling the story ‘bogus.’
- Abbott’s Labor Day Tweet Gaffe [01:01:46] — Dale criticizes Governor Abbott for tweeting about honoring troops on Labor Day, confusing it with Memorial Day. The hosts mock this error.
Recurring Bits
- Fast Food Fanatic [00:09:49] — Extended state fair foods edition covering Minnesota and LA County fairs, dominated by renewed double-burger arguments
Callers
- Bob [00:17:55] — Called claiming Daniel is insane about burgers and threatening to kill himself from the discussion Told to call after he’s dead, was hung up on
- Troy [00:18:08] — Called saying he’s ‘dead’ from the burger discussion Brief check-in confirming he’s dead from the topic
- Jim [00:18:30] — Asked if Daniel’s disdain for double burgers came before or after watching a meat documentary Daniel explained it came from working at a burger place in extreme heat
- unnamed [00:19:14] — Called saying they’re arguing with someone ‘on the spectrum’ who says burgers taste like a color Brief interjection
- unnamed [00:19:27] — Agreed with Daniel about double meat patties at fast food places Dale pointed out the caller still has a preference, unlike Daniel who judges others
- unnamed (Dallas) [00:20:20] — Streaming from Dallas, called in ‘dead’ Brief check-in
- unnamed [00:20:32] — Called claiming heaven has hamburgers with no buns, just meat Brief joke contribution
- Brandon [00:28:00] — Tried to make a point about double patties allowing separation of toppings Dale cut him off saying they’d been through all this already
- Shirley [00:28:18] — Called to inform them September 15th is National Double Cheeseburger Day Created new confusion about whether double cheeseburger means double cheese or double meat
- No-Neck (regular) [00:56:32] — Called begging them to move on from the burger discussion after a week of it Dale congratulated him on his ‘crappy draft’ in their fantasy league
Quotes
You’re a doo-doo salesman with a mouthful of samples
Dale Dudley [00:05:48]
You’re just eating caked rat feces
Daniel Gallo [00:26:00]
I’ve never been full off of sweets. I can’t take any more sweets.
Daniel Gallo [00:43:04]
The dividing point between a good comic and a bad comic is your ability to hear what’s actually happening
Matt Bearden [00:53:00]
The American Dream
The show covers a range of topics: Dale and Bob promote the ‘Yacht Rock’ concert and charity events; Pat Robertson’s commentary on Hillary Clinton’s health generates mockery; an Austin Perfect 10 dancer is arrested for theft; Carissa becomes distressed over relationship gossip and mounting life stress. The segment ends awkwardly when Daniel shares a text from Chuy that upsets Carissa, causing visible tension.
Segments
- Yacht Rock and event promo [00:00:01] — Dale promotes a Yacht Rock concert featuring Robbie Dupree, Matthew Wilder, and Ambrosia. Bob and Dale discuss their busy weekend with the Thinkery charity event and various station commitments.
- Robbie Dupree joke origin [00:05:03] — Dale tells the story of Ricky Mach’s infamous ‘steal away’ weigh station joke from their early radio days, debating whether he’d interview the artist now.
- Dale’s intro disasters [00:10:23] — The crew reminisces about Dale’s history of botched artist introductions, including ‘Weeb Wilder’ at Aquafest and bombing at Larry the Cable Guy’s Erwin Center show.
- Comedy cruise planning [00:12:43] — Dale promotes the August 2017 comedy cruise to Honduras, explaining the payment plan and lineup including Jimmy Roulette and Mike McCray.
- Pat Robertson questions Clinton’s health [00:15:20] — The show plays and mocks audio of Pat Robertson speculating about Hillary Clinton’s coughing and conspiracy theories about her health, contrasting it with FDR’s presidency.
- Jimmy LaFave controversy [00:21:02] — Dale addresses (but refuses to fully engage with) a controversy involving musician Jimmy LaFave’s association with someone connected to the Dakota Access Pipeline protests.
- iPhone 7 and audio equipment [00:24:00] — Bob and Dale discuss the new iPhone 7’s removal of the headphone jack. Bob explains potential audio quality benefits while Dale complains about constantly needing new adapters.
- Perfect 10 dancer arrest [00:26:14] — Dale reports on Michelle Mendoza’s arrest for stealing from other dancers’ lockers at Perfect 10, then escalating to assaulting a jail officer.
- American dream and happiness [00:32:00] — A philosophical discussion sparked by Daniel’s wife’s refugee ESL work leads to debate about whether material success equals happiness and what the American dream actually means.
- Carissa’s stress spiral [00:42:24] — Carissa breaks down on-air about mounting life pressures: moving apartments, starting a new job, financial stress, needing new glasses and car repairs. The crew attempts ‘gratitude journal’ exercises.
- Dating game suggestion backfires [00:51:12] — Chuy (via text to Daniel) suggests doing a dating game with Carissa’s ex-boyfriend. When Daniel shares this on-air, it deeply upsets Carissa, causing her to leave the studio and ending the show on an awkward note.
- Chuy date follow-up [00:59:17] — The hosts call Chuy to discuss his planned date with the woman from a previous setup, giving him advice on when to call her and set a specific date.
Text Line
- [00:51:12] Chuy suggested doing a dating game segment featuring Carissa and her ex-boyfriend — read by Daniel Gallo Deeply upset Carissa, causing her to cry and leave the studio; created awkward tension to end the show
Music
- Ambrosia — Discussed extensively; ‘How Much I Feel’ is Dale’s favorite 70s song
- Robbie Dupree — Discussed; ‘Steal Away’ featured in promotion
- Matthew Wilder — Discussed; ‘Break My Stride’ mentioned
Quotes
I remember two words. Dirt floors.
Dale Dudley [00:35:08]
The American dream is sold to everyone, a bill of goods on a daily basis.
Daniel Gallo [00:34:47]
My whole life’s a joke to the internet. Nothing is serious.
Carissa Jade [00:43:09]