Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Tuesday, February 28, 2017
This Show
Part 1: Animals
Dale, Bob, and Matt open the show discussing car troubles, colds, and personal issues. Dale launches into Animal Cavalcade, showing videos of mysterious sea creatures, smart dogs, aggressive raccoons, giant crocodiles, and soldiers reuniting with pets. The segment devolves into an argument when Carissa claims 15-20 people contacted her after Bill Paxton’s death to check on her—a claim Dale immediately challenges as exaggerated, demanding proof.
Segments
- Opening and Introductions [00:00:08] — Standard show open with Matt back from time off. Dale checks in on Matt’s well-being, discusses his car troubles with his BMW showing an engine fault light again.
- Casino Markers and Kellyanne Conway [00:05:06] — Dale discusses setting up casino markers and compares Kellyanne Conway’s casual posture in the White House to Carissa’s on-air behavior. Discussion of Trump administration’s cell phone confiscation.
- Bob’s Cold and Health Discussion [00:11:09] — Bob describes the exact moment he felt his cold coming on while watching Arrival. Dale explains that colds are sinus infections. Brief discussion of syphilis diagnosis claims about Trump.
- Dale’s Alien Encounter Story [00:14:00] — Dale recounts a 2008 hungover morning when he thought he saw a gray alien walking toward him, which turned out to be a deer. The story launches into other UFO encounters Dale has had.
- Nicole Kidman Can’t Clap [00:16:09] — Dale shows video of Nicole Kidman applauding strangely at the Academy Awards, apparently protecting rented jewelry. Discussion of her marriage to Tom Cruise and Days of Thunder.
- Austin Mayor Killed at Gettysburg [00:18:40] — Dale tries to surprise Daniel with historical fact that an Austin mayor was killed at Gettysburg in 1863, but Daniel already knew. Discussion of Civil War casualties and medical treatment.
- Ancestry Research Discussion [00:21:05] — Cast discusses their ancestry.com research. Dale found grandfathers who were murdered—one a marshal killed in a bar, another stabbed in a drunk tank. Brief discussion of Bob Schneider’s name.
- Animal Cavalcade Begins [00:23:52] — Dale launches the recurring segment early. Shows videos of a mysterious hairy blob in the Philippines (likely decomposed whale), Philippines president’s drug war, and a border collie doing tricks.
- Aggressive Raccoon and Stand-Up Paddleboarding [00:27:09] — Video of raccoon attacking woman on paddleboard. Matt suggests they all do paddleboard yoga as a bit. Discussion of stand-up paddleboarding, which Carissa used to do every Friday.
- Giant Crocodile and Cats Killing Birds [00:29:11] — Video of man feeding raw chicken to enormous crocodile while sitting on its back. Dale reveals cats are responsible for multiple bird extinctions and aren’t native to North America.
- Baby Polar Bear and Pregnant Giraffe [00:31:10] — Dale shows baby polar bear’s first time outside—he sees it as depressing captivity. Matt discusses the viral pregnant giraffe livestream and what would happen if it died during labor.
- Cats, Anacondas, and Indian Divorce [00:33:40] — Dale shows grumpy cat video. Discussion of anacondas strangling mates after sex. Dale mentions in India, men can divorce by shouting ‘divorce’ three times in Hindi.
- Soldier Reunites with Dog [00:36:00] — Video of soldier hiding from his dog, then revealing himself. Emotional reunion. Dale admits he brings these videos to get reactions, then hates the reactions he gets—making him a sadist.
- Bill Paxton Death and Carissa’s Exaggeration [00:38:33] — Discussion reveals Carissa was devastated by Bill Paxton’s death (Twister is her favorite movie). She claims 15-20 people contacted her to check if she was okay. Dale immediately calls this a lie and demands proof with timestamps, sparking a heated argument that continues through the break.
Recurring Bits
- Animal Cavalcade [00:23:52] — Dale shows multiple animal videos: mysterious hairy blob, border collie tricks, aggressive raccoon, giant crocodile, baby polar bear, grumpy cat, anaconda strangling mate, and soldier reuniting with dog
Quotes
Kellyanne Conway is the Carissa McAtee of the White House
Dale Dudley [00:05:41]
There’s a G damn gray. God dang it, there’s a G damn gray.
Dale Dudley [00:15:02]
It’s a baby polar bear being shown his jail cell
Dale Dudley [00:31:34]
I bring these in to get a reaction, and then I hate the reaction that I’m getting
Dale Dudley [00:38:14]
Part 2: Daylight Savings
The hosts discuss daylight saving time legislation in Texas, debate the ‘East vs. West’ development theory, play clips from the Daniel Gallo Alexa app project, engage in extensive food talk covering fish freshness, Oreo flavors, and Austin’s best tacos, and react to a viral video of a racist customer at an Irving Walmart. Multiple tangents include Bill Paxton’s death (which Carissa takes personally), Whataburger table tent theft, and an Inside Job documentary about the 2008 financial crisis.
Segments
- West Frankfort Illinois immigration story [00:00:00] — Dale discusses a New York Times story about a Trump-voting town upset when ICE arrested their beloved Mexican restaurant manager.
- Airsoft gun road rage in Manor [00:02:00] — Discussion of a Manor police report about road rage involving an airsoft gun, leading to jokes about the seriousness of the investigation.
- Whataburger table tent theft epidemic [00:04:00] — Northeast Texas police department recovering stolen Whataburger table number tents from area teens, treated with mock seriousness.
- Daylight saving time legislation [00:11:00] — News report about three Texas bills aiming to abolish daylight saving time, with hosts enthusiastically supporting the measure.
- Daniel Gallo Alexa app demo [00:15:00] — Playing recordings of the developing Alexa skill featuring Daniel’s random observations, with Daniel defending his statements after each one.
- East vs. West development debate [00:21:00] — Daniel argues that western areas are more developed than eastern ones, leading to a heated discussion about real estate, traffic patterns, and Dripping Springs being ‘done.’
- Subway chicken DNA scandal [00:26:00] — Fast Food Fanatic segment on study showing Subway chicken contains less than 50% chicken DNA, leading to broader food safety discussion.
- Inside Job documentary rant [00:28:00] — Dale discusses watching the 2010 documentary about the 2008 financial crisis, expressing frustration that Obama put the same people who caused it back in power.
- Refrigerator salmon debate [00:36:00] — Carissa’s question about why smoked salmon lasts so long leads to extensive confusion about fish preservation, with Dale doing a Swedish/Japanese/Mexican accent character.
- Sushi donuts and Austin tacos [00:43:00] — Discussion of sushi donuts and a ranking of Austin’s best tacos, with the hosts debating the list and sharing their favorite spots.
- Racist Walmart customer video [00:54:00] — Playing and reacting to viral video of a man in Irving, Texas Walmart telling a Hispanic employee to ‘go to your own country’ and demanding a white employee.
Recurring Bits
- Fast Food Fanatic [00:26:00] — Subway chicken DNA content, sushi donuts, Oreo flavors discussion
- The Sideshow [00:08:00] — Reminder about podcast live show April 19th at Cap City, 100 tickets sold first day
Quotes
Are you going to find these guys? I’ll just check with the boys down at the crime lab.
Dale Dudley [00:04:52]
Highways are just death roads.
Daniel Gallo [00:17:00]
Dripping Springs is done. It’s done.
Daniel Gallo [00:23:45]
Why couldn’t the creator make sugar the healthiest thing you can possibly eat?
Dale Dudley [00:48:00]
Part 2: Just A Friend
Dale launches into a long, personal phone topic about whether it’s appropriate for a married woman to have lunch alone with male friends, triggered by his wife meeting someone for lunch. The discussion reveals Dale’s anxiety and trust issues during depressive episodes. The segment also includes the debut of ‘Squirrel,’ a chipmunk-voiced character Dale creates with a harmonizer, political rants about Dan Patrick and Greg Abbott, and various tangents including missing candy (bag of Richards), Alexa ordering mishaps, and Dale’s afternoon radio gig.
Segments
- Show Opening and Announcements [00:00:01] — Dale announces the spring live podcast at Cap City on April 19th before Moon Tower Comedy Festival, mentions the Yellow Rose Valentine’s promotion, and addresses a text from listener Kathy about an anniversary show.
- Austin Named Best Place to Live [00:02:12] — Discussion of U.S. News and World Report ranking Austin as the best place to live in America, with Dale sarcastically noting the ranking didn’t include transportation issues.
- Trevlar the Sensitive Returns [00:06:05] — Caller Damien praises Bob’s old character ‘Trevlar the Sensitive,’ leading to brief improvisation of the character’s creepy, sensitive persona.
- Alexa Ordering Chaos [00:08:04] — Dale apologizes for previous on-air Alexa commands that caused listeners’ devices to order toilet paper, sex toys, and set off dogs. Discussion of developing an Alexa skill for the show.
- Squirrel Character Debut [00:11:00] — Dale experiments with a harmonizer to create a chipmunk/squirrel character with a Texas accent that becomes increasingly dirty and racist, much to the others’ dismay.
- Dale’s Marriage Anxiety – Main Phone Topic [00:16:00] — Dale reveals he had a fight with his wife after discovering she had lunch alone with a well-known local man (using ‘Steven Seagal’ as pseudonym). He explains his mental illness causes relationship paranoia and asks listeners if it’s appropriate for married women to lunch alone with men.
- Bob Gets Thrown Under the Bus [00:27:00] — Dale reveals he told his wife ‘Bob thinks the same thing,’ dragging Bob into the argument. Wife counters that she’s had lunch with Bob, causing further complications.
- The Tequila Boy Revelation [00:30:00] — Discussion reveals the person is actually a local attractive real estate connection the hosts know, raising the stakes of the discussion. Tequila Boy texts during the segment saying he’ll text both Dale and his wife about listings.
- Listener Calls on Marriage Boundaries [00:32:00] — Multiple callers weigh in on whether married people should have opposite-sex friendships, with opinions split between ‘old fashioned’ and ‘appropriate boundaries.’
- Chris Waters Realty Promo [00:47:00] — Dale reads sponsor content for Chris Waters Realty, including the ‘no wire hangers’ joke and guaranteed home sale offer.
- Political Rants Begin [00:49:00] — Dale pivots to news coverage, criticizing Dan Patrick for using Texas Rangers to investigate Tom Brady’s missing Super Bowl jersey while Houston had three homicides that night.
- Greg Abbott Sanctuary City Firings [00:53:00] — Dale attacks Governor Abbott for cutting grants to Travis County over sanctuary city policy, resulting in 18 job losses. Dale calls Abbott a ‘grandstanding ass’ and encourages confronting state lawmakers in public.
- Scott Pelley Calls Out Trump [00:56:00] — Audio clip of CBS’s Scott Pelley saying Trump’s claims are ‘divorced from reality’ regarding unreported terrorist attacks and other false statements.
- Dale’s Afternoon Show Preview [00:59:00] — Dale mentions he’ll be on 590 KLBJ-AM from 2-3pm and hints he might be getting fired for not being conservative enough, saying he’s ‘taking the gloves off.’
Callers
- Damien [00:10:04] — Praising the ‘Trevlar the Sensitive’ character as the best comedy bit ever Led to brief revival of the character and discussion of old bits
- Joe [00:15:39] — Said the chipmunk sounds like a character from another show Brief acknowledgment, moved on quickly
- Shannon [00:33:32] — Thinks Dale is being old fashioned about his wife having lunch with men Bob dismisses her opinion because she’s not married; she tries to defend her position but is cut off
- unnamed [00:29:56] — Has a rule with his wife that neither can have new friends of the opposite sex Dale agrees with the ‘no new friends’ concept to some degree
- Tyler [00:36:48] — Says it’s not OK for Dale’s wife to lunch with men, especially since she got mad when confronted Dale clarifies the wife did apologize and they worked it out; Tyler’s suspicion is addressed but Dale defends his wife
- Justin [00:40:05] — Says wife should always let him know who she’s with, no new dude friends after marriage General agreement from hosts, audio quality made some of his points hard to understand
- Marie [00:41:00] — Suggests Dale either accept his wife’s excuses or be ‘super petty’ and go to lunch with a beautiful woman Dale explains there are intimate details he’s not sharing and his wife does understand; Marie questions what happens if wife does it again
- Stephanie [00:43:45] — Says Dale is being old fashioned and it’s his own insecurity; most of her friends are guys Dale admits it’s his insecurity stemming from mental illness but says he’s made many adjustments; Matt defends Dale’s growth; extended discussion about projecting and therapy
Text Line
- [00:05:05] Kathy asking about anniversary show details — read by Dale Dudley Dale is confused, says he has no details about an anniversary show, clarifies it’s just the podcast at Cap City
- [00:43:00] Tequila Boy (the man Dale’s wife had lunch with) texts saying he’ll make sure to text both Dale and his wife if he sees a listing he’s interested in — read by Dale Dudley Creates awkward moment; Bob worries about the ‘supply chain’ being cut off; Dale reassures him it’s fine and the guy is a friend
Quotes
Incest is best
Dale Dudley (as Squirrel) [00:12:34]
I don’t think it’s appropriate for a married woman to be at lunch with a dude by himself
Dale Dudley [00:24:00]
I’m not the only one who feels this way. Bob thinks the same thing.
Dale Dudley [00:26:31]
Just proof positive that Dan Patrick is a grandstanding ass
Dale Dudley [00:53:00]
Part 3: Karma
This part of the show focused heavily on Trump, Pat Robertson claiming witches are cursing the president, and health care debate. Dale played clips of Robertson and Trump discussing Obamacare repeal efforts. The hosts also discussed a Georgia couple sentenced to 13 and 6 years in prison for terrorizing a child’s birthday party with Confederate flags and racial threats. A ‘What Do You Got’ contest gave away ZZ Top and At the Drive-In tickets. Carissa showed off a fly she captured in a container for her jewelry business, which now includes human ashes.
Segments
- Show open and fly capture [00:00:01] — Dale opens the show mentioning ZZ Top tickets. Carissa interrupts to show off a fly she captured in a container for her jewelry business, which she plans to name ‘Grace’ after the container owner.
- Pat Robertson on witches cursing Trump [00:04:25] — Dale plays a clip from Pat Robertson’s show where Robertson claims witches are putting curses on Trump and Christians need to pray to send the curses back. The hosts mock the segment extensively.
- Trump on health care complexity [00:12:01] — Dale plays Trump clips where the president says ‘who knew health care could be so complicated.’ Bob explains why the flexibility states want in Obamacare replacement undermines how insurance works.
- Obama blamed for protests and leaks [00:18:01] — Dale plays Fox and Friends clip where Trump blames Obama for organizing protests and leaks. Dale criticizes the narrative that all opposition must be paid rather than organic.
- Confederate flag couple sentenced [00:26:00] — Discussion of Georgia couple sentenced to 13 and 6 years in prison for terrorizing a black child’s birthday party with Confederate flags, racial slurs, and brandished weapons in 2015.
- General Lee car jump disaster [00:33:35] — Hosts watch and react to video of a stuntman in a General Lee replica attempting a Dukes of Hazzard-style jump in Detroit that results in a hard landing and damaged car.
- What Do You Got – ZZ Top tickets [00:41:04] — Dale starts the ‘What Do You Got’ contest to give away ZZ Top tickets at Garth Arena in Bell County and At the Drive-In tickets at Stubbs.
- Winner: Sarah with impressions [00:41:50] — First caller Sarah wins At the Drive-In tickets by doing impressions of the cast members. Her impressions included Dale complaining about food, Daniel being literal, Matt promoting shows, and Bob talking about Bruce Springsteen.
- What Do You Got continues [00:48:13] — Multiple callers try various attempts including food jokes and car descriptions. Dale has to leave for a dental appointment. Final winner James gets ZZ Top tickets using sympathy for having an autistic child.
- Blue Apron sponsor read [00:54:02] — Dale and Daniel do a Blue Apron ad read discussing fresh meal delivery service with code Dudley for discount.
Recurring Bits
- What Do You Got [00:41:04] — Contest to win ZZ Top and At the Drive-In tickets. Sarah won with impressions of the cast, James won ZZ Top tickets at the end.
- The Sideshow [00:00:40] — Dale mentions he won’t be on the podcast today because he has to leave early for a dental appointment.
Callers
- Sarah (Rock Springs (Austin area)) [00:41:50] — Called in to do impressions of the cast for What Do You Got contest Won At the Drive-In tickets with impressions of Dale, Daniel, Matt, and Bob. Hosts discovered she works in healthcare and used to work for Dr. Meyerson. Dale teased her about being Hispanic.
- Raymond [00:46:00] — Called about having a scar from 25-year-old tickling panties the show gave away Dale hung up on him because he didn’t like being reminded of things from the past that make him feel old.
- Zach [00:46:14] — Called with ‘pearl necklace’ joke Dale noted he had been on hold for about six hours but the joke had already been done.
- unnamed [00:47:41] — Called with bra joke about men being like bras to support women but mostly touch boobies Hosts were unimpressed and hung up, telling him to work on it.
- unnamed [00:49:46] — Called with food joke about chicken Parmesan and Alfredo Dale said that joke had already been done and hung up.
- unnamed [00:50:25] — Called saying they had a 1968 Chevelle SS Dale had to leave for dental appointment before finishing the call.
- unnamed (woman) [00:50:49] — Called to give shout out to Kendra Scott for donating jewelry to a benefit Hosts made mean joke about Kendra Scott dumping Bob. Caller couldn’t remember the name of the benefit and Dale felt bad about being shallow and callow.
- unnamed [00:51:54] — Called while drinking Highland Mist scotch, tried to tell a bar story about bands Confused story about being in a bar in Tyler, got bands wrong, hosts hung up.
- James [00:52:57] — Called saying he had an autistic child and his wife would love a night out away from them Won ZZ Top tickets to Bell County show on May 20th. Dale noted they usually don’t give away tickets for pity but made an exception. Bob joked about taking an autistic child to a ZZ Top concert.
- unnamed (woman) [00:55:44] — Called back to ask why Dale calls his hairstylist at his dental appointment Dale didn’t understand the joke at first. She was busting his balls about going to the ‘salon.’ Ended cordially.
Music
- Triumph — Dale played ‘Magic Power’ by Triumph and discussed how he always thought it was Styx or Kansas but Bob confirmed it was Triumph, one of the great power trio bands.
Quotes
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will bring out a news crew
Dale Dudley [00:07:02]
What would be so wrong in this world was saying we’re going to fix it
Dale Dudley [00:13:29]
people can’t naturally disagree with you and organize and show up
Dale Dudley [00:18:12]
It’s the black man’s fault again ladies and gentlemen
Dale Dudley [00:19:01]