Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Thursday, July 16, 2015
This Show
Part 1: Family Life
Dale dominates this segment, opening with stock market talk (Netflix after-hours gains) and transitioning into family stories. He recounts calling poison control after his daughter ate an entire bottle of children’s Tylenol, then delivering a Depression-era ‘you’re lucky’ speech to his son on his birthday. The show also touches on a loose cobra in North Austin (after a teen died from a snake bite), UT band budget cuts, El Chapo’s escape, and new direct flights from Austin to Frankfurt. The segment is loose and conversational, with Dale rifling through old sound effects and the crew riffing on various topics.
Segments
- Show open and stock talk [00:00:10] — Bob does the standard intro, then Dale and Bob discuss their recent Netflix stock purchase and after-hours trading. They reminisce about getting into stocks and discuss the risks of day trading.
- Dale’s daughter eats Tylenol [00:10:02] — Dale recounts calling poison control after his almost-four-year-old daughter ate an entire bottle (30 tablets) of children’s Tylenol. The poison control center assured him she would be fine.
- The Depression speech [00:15:43] — Dale tells his son Jacob, on his birthday, not to complain about being ‘unlucky’ by invoking his own father’s Depression-era poverty (dirt floor, orange for Christmas). Bob notes this speech should have died with Dale’s generation.
- Cobra loose in North Austin [00:19:01] — Dale reports an 18-year-old from Temple died after being bitten by his pet cobra at a Lowe’s parking lot. The snake is still at large. Daniel lives near the location and expresses concern.
- Rifling through old sound effects [00:25:44] — Dale plays vintage sound effects and drops from the station’s 1995-era instant replay machine, including Simpsons clips, Caddyshack, South Park, and a sexually charged caller from the ’90s.
- UT band budget cuts [00:33:08] — Dale discusses how UT athletics is asking the band to send only a ‘pep band’ to away games to free up more tickets for paying fans. He sees it as money winning over tradition.
- El Chapo escape video [00:39:37] — The crew watches and narrates the surveillance footage of El Chapo escaping his Mexican prison cell through a tunnel, joking about how obviously staged it appears.
- Austin to Frankfurt flights [00:42:55] — Dale announces Condor Airlines will offer direct flights from Austin to Frankfurt, Germany starting next summer. The crew briefly discusses Austin’s international growth.
- Wrong@klbj email address [00:44:56] — Dale announces a new ‘What We Got Wrong’ segment launching on Fridays, with listeners invited to email corrections to [email protected].
Quotes
Jacob, my father lived in a house that had a dirt floor.
Dale Dudley [00:16:44]
What am I gonna tell him? I lived in a rental and had access to every Dairy Queen?
Dale Dudley [00:18:00]
Part 2: ‘Murica
The show features lengthy segments on ’embarrassing Texans,’ including audio from a Farmersville town hall where residents oppose a Muslim cemetery with absurd claims, and a Houston doctor claiming gay marriage will force schools to teach kindergarteners about anal sex. The hosts mock these positions extensively. The show also covers the start of Jade Helm military exercises in Bastrop (with no visible activity), discusses Amanda’s controversial shoe choice, Mexican weather presenter Yanet Garcia, and millennials’ attitudes toward social media at work.
Segments
- Opening – Segment Promos and Amanda’s Shoes [00:00:00] — Dale promotes upcoming Cap City Comedy Club sideshow and discusses Amanda’s shoes, which he finds hideous (they have buckles and straps). Bob and Matt find them attractive; Dale remains unconvinced.
- Farmersville Muslim Cemetery Opposition [00:06:45] — Dale plays news coverage and town hall audio from Farmersville, Texas, where residents oppose a Muslim cemetery with absurd arguments about bodies contaminating drinking water, ‘growing bodies’ instead of onions, and threats to dump pig’s blood on the property.
- Dr. Hotze Anti-Gay Marriage Press Conference [00:17:20] — Dale plays audio of Houston doctor Steven Hotze claiming gay marriage will force schools to teach kindergarteners about anal sex and that teachers will ‘encourage’ children to participate. Dale gives out Hotze’s clinic phone number and encourages listeners to call.
- Promos and Water Sponsors [00:25:05] — Dale thanks ProCourier Service and Austin Dreamscapes for bringing water to the studio. Discusses the other side of Amanda’s shoe photo.
- Dave in the Cave Job Loss [00:29:40] — Dale expresses sympathy for radio friend Dave in the Cave who lost his morning show in Temple. Plays ‘Balls FM’ imaging drops Dave created for the show years ago, when they wanted the station to rock harder.
- Bob’s Painful Ear Cleaning [00:33:40] — Bob describes going to a clinic for ear wax removal that caused excruciating pain when the doctor used a probe and flushing gun. He says it was the worst pain he’s ever felt.
- David Huntsberger Gets TV Show [00:38:00] — Bob congratulates former show guest David Huntsberger on his new SyFy Network talk show about science topics, premiering that night. Dale initially mistakes him for a different comedian.
- Miss USA Pageant Q&A Fails [00:39:09] — Dale plays clips of Miss Rhode Island and Miss Nevada struggling to answer questions about political correctness and race relations, with awkward pauses and non-answers.
- Mexican Weather – Yanet Garcia [00:42:00] — Dale plays video of Mexican weather presenter Yanet Garcia in an extremely tight dress, noting how the camera angles focus on her backside. Daniel argues she’s pointing at a TV screen rather than using green screen; the hosts mock this misunderstanding.
- Jade Helm Alert – Nothing Happening [00:47:06] — Dale plays KVUE news coverage from Bastrop where Jade Helm military exercises began with no visible activity. Features interviews with suspicious residents and a humorous citizen video of a naked man running with an American flag cape.
- Millennials and Social Media at Work [00:54:00] — Dale discusses survey showing 60% of millennials would quit if prevented from using social media at work. This sparks debate between generations, with Carissa and Daniel defending their generation while Dale and Bob mock the entitlement. Argument about whether kids know what mail is.
Recurring Bits
- The Sideshow [00:00:15] — Dale promotes live Sideshow podcast at Cap City Comedy Club on September 3rd
Quotes
We used to grow a lot of onions here. Sure enough, don’t want to be growing bodies.
Farmersville resident [00:09:53]
The body’s jam above the water, and it’s gonna be in our drinking system.
Farmersville resident [00:12:32]
They can dump pig’s blood and pig heads on there. They won’t buy the land.
Farmersville resident [00:14:10]
They will be encouraged by their teachers to participate in anal sex.
Dr. Steven Hotze [00:19:08]
Christ was a badass dude who just, his entire message was love your fellow man.
Dale Dudley [00:15:13]
Part 3: LRH!
The third hour opens with more back-and-forth about which generation Dale and Matt belong to, spiraling into a listener vote on whether to turn Daniel’s mic off. Dale then pivots to Greg Abbott, discussing how the Texas governor vetoed a mental health bill after lobbying from Scientology-connected groups. The show examines a video of Tom Cruise doing stunts for Mission: Impossible, leading to a heated debate when Carissa says she wishes she didn’t know about celebrities’ personal lives. Dale passionately defends the need to know about Scientology’s abuses. The hour closes with a road rage video from Arizona showing a middle-aged man in flip-flops getting taken down after punching a motorcyclist.
Segments
- Stock market opening / generation argument continues [00:00:00] — The hosts discuss Netflix stock and continue debating which generation Dale belongs to, with the argument becoming increasingly absurd.
- Listener vote: turn Daniel’s mic off? [00:07:00] — Dale opens phone lines asking listeners if they want to continue with the show or turn Daniel’s mic off. Callers mostly vote to turn it off or move on.
- Greg Abbott airport incident [00:13:00] — Dale discusses a man being removed from a JetBlue flight after confronting Governor Greg Abbott about gay marriage at JFK airport. DPS claimed the man made threats; the man denies it.
- LAPD shooting and police reform [00:17:00] — Dale references a recently-released video of LAPD shooting an unarmed man and calls for police reform.
- Scientology lobbied Abbott on mental health bill [00:17:32] — Dale reveals that Greg Abbott vetoed a mental health bill (Senate Bill 359) after lobbying from the Citizens Commission on Human Rights, a Scientology-founded organization. The bill had widespread support from medical and law enforcement groups.
- Tom Cruise Mission: Impossible stunts [00:25:50] — The show plays video of Tom Cruise doing his own stunts for Mission: Impossible, hanging off a cargo plane door at takeoff. Discussion of insurance and why he would risk it.
- Celebrity privacy debate erupts [00:32:45] — Carissa says she wishes she didn’t know so much about celebrities’ personal lives so she could enjoy movies. Dale passionately argues that people need to know about Tom Cruise’s support of Scientology, which tears families apart and destroys lives.
- Magnolia discussion [00:41:00] — The hosts discuss the film Magnolia, with Carissa defending it as emotional and Dale calling it boring. They play the Amy Mann song ‘Wise Up’ from the film.
- Road rage video from Arizona [00:43:32] — Dale plays a video of a middle-aged man in flip-flops and swimming trunks getting out of his car at a stoplight to punch motorcyclists. He punches a woman, then gets taken down by her boyfriend using a jaw grip technique. The attacker broke his ankle in the fall.
Callers
- unnamed [00:08:55] — Listener vote on whether to turn Daniel’s mic off Voted to turn it off, mentions being 20 feet up on a lift
- unnamed [00:09:07] — Listener vote Voted to turn Daniel’s mic off
- unnamed [00:09:10] — Listener vote / wants to continue previous topic Wants to continue the ‘flying floor and filth’ topic (euphemism for cursing)
- unnamed [00:09:25] — Listener vote / wants Daniel Gallo alert Wants to ‘double down on this crazy situation’ with a Daniel Gallo alert. Dale says he’s leaving the room
- unnamed [00:09:34] — Listener vote Votes to continue with the show
- unnamed [00:10:11] — Listener vote Tells Dale to ‘put the boss boots on’ and take charge. Dale jokes they replaced them with ‘boss wee-gents’ (wedges)
- Karen [00:11:54] — Daniel’s behavior Says Daniel is ‘like fingernails on a chalkboard and Sarah Palin all wrapped in one.’ Suggests firing him. Dale says that’s extreme
Text Line
- [00:39:13] They really enjoyed the movie Bernie until they found out the DJ character did a bunch of coke — read by Bob Fonseca Used as a counterpoint in the debate about whether knowing celebrities’ personal lives ruins entertainment
Quotes
We need police reform in this country.
Dale Dudley [00:17:43]
To LRH! To LRH!
Dale Dudley [00:25:50]
The church of Scientology destroys people’s lives.
Dale Dudley [00:34:49]
I’ll always be a Bill Cosby fan. Jello pudding pops.
Dale Dudley [00:39:05]