Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Tuesday, July 28, 2015
This Show
Part 1: Cow Eggs and Mayo
Dale, Bob, Matt, Daniel, and Carissa engage in extended banter covering everything from refrigerator organization to eggs as ‘dairy products.’ Carissa mistakenly claims eggs come from cows, sparking a long segment of mockery. Daniel asks a confusing ‘civics question’ about black paint on utility poles. Dale mentions his wife is having medical tests but can’t discuss details on-air. The show also touches on online symptom checkers, Dale’s stock losses, and Broadway dance.
Segments
- Show Open [00:00:02] — Standard show introduction with all cast members present. Dale mentions having videos to show and discusses tech issues with his phone charger.
- Dale’s Off-Air Story Tease [00:03:03] — Dale tells an incredible story off-air that he says cannot be told on the show for 6-12 months. He also mentions his wife is having medical tests today and saw Dr. Ned Schneider at the Breast and Body Center.
- People of the Neighborhood Preview [00:05:35] — Dale proposes a new format where Daniel and Carissa book guests for People of the Neighborhood without telling the hosts who’s coming, testing their interview skills.
- Carissa’s Outfit Roasted [00:07:12] — The crew mocks Bob’s shirt, comparing it to a Dairy Queen uniform and a tablecloth. Carissa reveals she’s wearing a belt from second grade.
- Carissa’s Boudin Breakfast [00:10:51] — Carissa pulls out a large sausage (boudin) and begins eating it on-air, to the disgust of the hosts. Dale says in the first month of dating he would have left her for her lack of manners.
- Daniel’s Refrigerator Organization System [00:12:21] — Dale reveals Daniel has a highly organized refrigerator with specific slots for condiments. Daniel describes his ‘mayonnaise based area,’ ‘hot sauce bar,’ and other zones, leading to confusion about whether mayonnaise and eggs are dairy products.
- Cow Eggs Segment – Carissa’s Dairy Confusion [00:14:24] — Carissa claims eggs are dairy products and briefly suggests eggs come from cows, causing extended mockery. Connor, Carissa’s intern from Brown University, reacts with disbelief. The crew debates the food pyramid’s historical classification of eggs.
- McDonald’s and Dairy Queen Talk [00:19:01] — Discussion of McDonald’s doing breakfast all day and a Dairy Queen that refuses to follow corporate menu. Dale explains dairy comes from the mammary glands of mammals.
- Daniel’s ‘Civics Question’ About Utility Poles [00:22:20] — Daniel asks what he calls a ‘civics question’ about black paint on the bottom of utility poles. The crew mocks him for not understanding what civics means and debates whether it’s creosote, tar, or rust prevention.
- Chomping vs. Champing at the Bit [00:28:18] — Matt corrects Carissa that the phrase is ‘champing at the bit’ (C-H-A-M-P), not ‘chomping,’ though the pronunciation has evolved over 300 years.
- Hairy Armadillo Video [00:29:29] — Dale plays video of what appears to be a hairy armadillo, criticizing portrait-mode video shooters.
- Chinese Stock Market and Dale’s Losses [00:30:37] — Dale blames China for recent stock market losses. He mentions losing money on ConocoPhillips and Netflix.
- Broadway Dance Rant [00:31:41] — Dale describes attending an Alvin Ailey dance performance in New York with his friend Steve Jones, a former cheerleader who became a professional Broadway dancer. Dale expresses strong dislike for dance-only performances like The Nutcracker and Swan Lake.
- Carissa Doing Drag Queen Dance Show [00:34:07] — Carissa announces she and her sister are helping with a drag show event, mentioning she was a dance major at University of North Texas.
- Bewitched Discussion [00:35:01] — Extended discussion of the TV show Bewitched, Agnes Moorhead’s role as Endora, and the two different Darrens (Dick York and Dick Sargent).
- Online Symptom Checkers Story [00:39:31] — Dale discusses a news story about online symptom checkers often misdiagnosing patients, either sending people to emergency rooms unnecessarily or missing serious conditions.
- Castlight.com Health Website [00:42:47] — Dale praises the Castlight health website for being more navigable than other company resources. He mentions issues with ARA and hints at potential legal action.
- Recap of Cow Eggs [00:43:53] — Dale recaps for new listeners that Carissa thought eggs came from cows and were dairy products.
- Caller Caroline About WebMD [00:44:42] — Caller Caroline shares that WebMD told her she had either pneumonia or whooping cough, and the doctor confirmed it was actually pneumonia.
Recurring Bits
- People of the Neighborhood [00:05:35] — Dale proposes a new format where the hosts don’t know who’s coming in advance to test their interview skills
Callers
- Caroline [00:44:42] — Her experience with WebMD diagnosing her with pneumonia or whooping cough, which turned out to be pneumonia Brief call validating Dale’s story about online symptom checkers
Quotes
Eggs come from a cow, right?
Carissa Jade [00:14:38]
I’ve never seen an egg come out of a cow’s teat.
Matt Bearden [00:16:43]
What are those black things painted around electrical poles?
Daniel Gallo [00:23:54]
You realize the three of us, we don’t have spouses. We have babysitters.
Dale Dudley [00:31:59]
Part 2: BBQ Police
Dale and the crew discuss several topics including the FDA banning cilantro imports from Mexico due to contamination, a KVU investigation into sixth street danger, and videos including a crosswind plane landing and accidents. The main segment focuses on the Satanic Temple’s statue unveiling in Detroit, where attendees had to sign away their souls to enter, and Pat Robertson’s reaction. Carissa accidentally deletes Dale’s show prep during the broadcast, causing technical difficulties.
Segments
- Show Opening and Celebrity Interview Complaints [00:00:00] — Dale complains about celebrities like George Lopez and Simon Pegg who won’t do live phone interviews early in the morning, only offering taped interviews after 10 AM. He contrasts this with Ron White who always shows up.
- FDA Cilantro Ban [00:07:37] — Dale discusses the FDA banning cilantro imports from Puebla, Mexico after finding human feces and toilet paper in fields. The crew debates whether there’s such a thing as too much cilantro.
- Sixth Street Danger Investigation [00:10:05] — The crew mocks a KVU television investigative report by Tony Ployetsky about sixth street being dangerous, pointing out the obvious nature of finding drunk people downtown at 1 AM.
- Cruise Promotion and Live Show Announcement [00:19:01] — Dale promotes the June 2016 European cruise with pricing details and the September 3rd Cap City Comedy Club show, which has had four different names.
- Videos on the Radio [00:21:46] — The crew watches several videos including a KLM plane fighting crosswinds at Schiphol airport, a girl dropping a baby to catch a wedding bouquet, a man injured jumping off a bridge when a girl grabs him, and discusses but doesn’t show a Chinese escalator death.
- BBQ Police Segment [00:34:57] — They watch and discuss a viral video of a code enforcement officer in Florida telling a man he can’t barbecue because smoke is crossing property lines, despite it being a Saturday and the neighbor repeatedly calling authorities.
- Satanic Temple Statue Unveiling [00:40:01] — Dale discusses how the Satanic Temple required attendees to sign away their souls to see the nine-foot Satan statue in Detroit, which prevented religious protesters from entering. Includes Pat Robertson’s commentary on Fox.
- Show Prep Disaster [00:41:05] — Mid-show, Dale discovers Carissa accidentally deleted his show prep from Google Docs at 7:56 AM, including all his Satan statue segment notes. The crew works to recover it using revision history.
Callers
- Chris [00:32:47] — Asking where the videos they watch are posted Dale tells him they’re on the Dudley and Bob blog at KLBJFM.com
Text Line
- [00:33:17] Carissa texts her boyfriend Matt Dawson during the show about sneezing — read by Dale Dudley Dale scolds Carissa for texting during the show, sarcastically starts texting his own wife to make a point about how inappropriate it is
Quotes
Stop it. Then LA Lloyd and John stopped sending these to us. They never happened.
Dale Dudley [00:01:47]
The FDA should ban cilantro permanently.
Dale Dudley [00:08:26]
God, just redistrict the damn thing. Stop being stupid.
Dale Dudley [00:15:41]
That’s genius because see, none of them actually exist.
Dale Dudley [00:45:05]
Part 3: Austin History
The final part of the 2015-07-28 show features a visit from Mike Miller, Austin City Archivist, who discusses the Austin History Center and its collection of historical documents, photographs, and video archives. The hosts also react to multiple news stories including Amazon opening grocery stores, the Boy Scouts policy change, a barbecue complaint in Florida, and an off-duty cop threatening a driver in Massachusetts. The show ends with the crew discussing Chuy’s new ‘bad Chuy’ persona and his recent abandonment of working out and healthy eating.
Segments
- Opening and Dale’s Dad’s Birthday [00:00:00] — Dale discovers via Facebook that today is his late father’s birthday. He reflects on having only one tape of his dad and shares memories.
- Amazon Grocery Stores Announcement [00:02:56] — Discussion of Amazon opening physical grocery pickup locations with service-merchandise-style ordering.
- Boy Scouts Policy Change [00:04:45] — The Boy Scouts now allow gay Scout leaders, though local church-based charters can still discriminate. The hosts share mixed Scout experiences.
- Barbecue Police Video [00:07:18] — Florida code enforcer issues citation for barbecue smell complaint. The hosts discuss the absurdity of neighbors complaining about BBQ.
- Mike Miller, Austin City Archivist [00:12:23] — Mike Miller joins to discuss the Austin History Center, its collections, the Servant Girl Murders, Emma Long’s papers, and the earliest known visual representation of Austin from 1840.
- Spa Music and Massage Discussion [00:27:02] — Dale talks about his love of spa music for meditation and sleep. The crew discusses massage preferences and Dale’s ‘Spa Steve’ character.
- Off-Duty Cop Video [00:38:56] — Video of off-duty Massachusetts cop threatening a driver who made a wrong turn in a rotary. The hosts condemn police abuse of power.
- Twitter Joke-Stealing Policy [00:45:13] — Twitter now allows reporting of stolen jokes. Brief discussion about social media content theft.
- Zumba Studio Attack [00:56:42] — News story about Eric Torres attacking women at a Zumba studio in Austin. Heroes from Joe’s Tex-Mex next door stopped him.
- Bad Chuy and Date Day Plan [01:00:56] — The crew marvels at Chuy’s transformation into ‘Bad Chuy’ – no longer working out or grooming. Dale offers to set up a date for him.
Guests
- Mike Miller (expert) [00:12:23] — Austin City Archivist and director of Austin History Center, discussed the center’s collection of Austin historical documents, photographs, and video archives
Text Line
- [00:00:19] Listener emailing corrections for Friday reading — read by Dale Dudley Dale promotes the ‘wrong at KLBJFM’ email address for show corrections
- [01:03:41] Multiple Twitter users saying ‘fire those other two and bring in Chuy’ — read by Matt Bearden Matt points out the irony of Dale and Bob spending time on air while Twitter wants them replaced with Chuy
Quotes
My dad would have been 86 years old if that damn heart hadn’t exploded on me
Dale Dudley [00:01:00]
My father had multiple heart attacks and still alive. Clearly better man, stronger man.
Matt Bearden [00:02:03]
When I was a kid I thought how could they throw this away. Then my mom died.
Dale Dudley [00:25:41]
I don’t know what they teach you in cop school, but first thing should be: you are not God
Dale Dudley [00:56:00]