Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Wednesday, September 14, 2016
This Show
Part 1: Chuy’s Date_ The Aftermath
The show opens with Dale severely sick with a cough and raspy voice, but he powers through because the cast’s DNA ancestry results are finally in. Dale arranged Chuy’s first date (post-date discussion coming), covering the limo ride with ‘Rich’ and coordinating a VIP dinner at ALC Steaks with Scotty. The cast prepares to reveal DNA results live on air around 7:20-7:25 a.m. Dale also tells a story about nearly getting his ass kicked at a Leander car wash for staring at a woman in yoga pants, and his wife keeps planning neighborhood parties he doesn’t want. Animal Cavalcade features Bigfoot sightings, a shark attacking a diver’s GoPro, a family vs. grizzly bear standoff, and cats jumping in terror when a dog sneaks up on them.
Segments
- Show open and Dale’s illness [00:00:06] — Dale opens with a raspy voice from being sick, relying on an inhaler he found from last year’s pneumonia. He’s exhausted but excited for DNA results coming later in the show.
- Dale’s wife’s neighborhood socializing [00:02:48] — Dale complains his wife is trying to make them ‘the cool house’ in the neighborhood with wine nights and is planning a driveway potluck Halloween party, which Dale adamantly opposes.
- DNA results preview [00:04:41] — The cast confirms their DNA ancestry results are in and will be revealed on air around 7:20-7:25 a.m. with an expert from Colorado calling in.
- Danny Trejo appearance announcement [00:07:44] — Daniel reveals Danny Trejo will be on the show tomorrow (Thursday) to speak about CARY, an at-risk youth organization, before his event at One World Theatre.
- Chuy’s date arrangements [00:09:58] — Dale details the elaborate setup for Chuy’s Saturday date: Rich will drive the Lincoln Town Car, Scotty at ALC Steaks will provide VIP treatment, and the cast will chip in for the limo tip. Chuy is having second thoughts, but Dale gives him a pep talk.
- Dale’s car wash near-confrontation [00:22:05] — Dale tells the story of staring at a woman in yoga pants at the Leander car wash and nearly getting confronted by her boyfriend. He was so scared he fled without vacuuming his car.
- Supreme Lending / John McClellan promo [00:29:03] — Dale reads a live spot for mortgage lender John McClellan, with Bob adding his endorsement after comparing rates.
- Animal Cavalcade [00:31:23] — The segment features Bigfoot sightings in Wales and Michigan, a shark attack on a diver’s GoPro and fin, a grizzly bear family standoff in Alberta with cursing and dogs in danger, and a viral video of three cats jumping in terror when a poodle sneaks up behind them.
- Oddly-named Texas towns [00:42:45] — The cast reviews a list of weird Texas town names from real estate site Estately, including Ding Dong (the winner), Bacon, Cut and Shoot, Latex, and Who’d Thought It.
Recurring Bits
- Animal Cavalcade [00:31:23] — Dale presents various animal videos: Bigfoot sightings, shark attack on diver, grizzly bear vs. family, and cats scared by dog.
Text Line
- [00:17:10] Dale’s wife texts to say only about half of what Dale said about last night happened and his head is cloudy from being sick. — read by Dale Dudley Dale briefly acknowledges it but continues his story anyway.
Quotes
I was so scared I didn’t even vacuum.
Dale Dudley [00:04:01]
Do you want me to bust his balls or VIP? VIP, make him look like a superstar.
Dale Dudley [00:12:30]
Driveway party potluck trick or treat. And I was like, stop!
Dale Dudley [00:14:51]
I have this thing called heterosexuality, a little bit of it called manhood left.
Dale Dudley [00:24:57]
Part 2: The DNA Test
The show unveils DNA ancestry test results from Ancestry.com for all cast members. Anna from Ancestry walks them through their ethnic breakdowns, revealing Bob is 13% Native American, Carissa is 7%, Matt 0%, and Dale—who has claimed Native American heritage for decades—is 0%, leading to mockery and humiliation. Daniel learns he’s 25% Irish (more than Italian), causing an identity crisis. The segment is lighthearted but reveals genuine surprise and emotional reactions, especially Dale’s embarrassment over his false family claim.
Segments
- Opening – DNA Test Excitement [00:00:00] — Dale introduces the DNA ancestry test segment with Anna from Ancestry.com and explains his sister discovered a previously unknown first cousin through the service.
- Carissa’s Results [00:02:52] — Carissa learns she’s 91% European (65% Great Britain), with 7% Native American, 2% North African, and traces of Italian and Spanish ancestry—less Spanish than she expected given her Mexican grandmother.
- Matt’s Results [00:08:11] — Matt is revealed to be 98% European (45% Great Britain, 26% European East, 13% Iberian Peninsula), making him more Spanish than Carissa despite her Mexican heritage.
- Bob’s Results [00:11:05] — Bob learns he’s the most diverse: 59% Italian-Greece, 13% Native American, 7% Iberian, with DNA from Europe, Asia, Native America, West Asia, and Africa. He celebrates his Native American heritage.
- Dale’s Results – The Big Reveal [00:14:18] — Dale discovers he has 0.0% Native American DNA, destroying his decades-long claim of Cherokee heritage. He’s 96% European (77% Great Britain) and is publicly humiliated by the cast.
- Daniel’s Results [00:19:06] — Daniel learns he’s 25% Irish, 21% Italian-Greece, 18% Europe-West, with representation from every European population. He becomes emotional and fixates on his Irish heritage over his Italian.
- Post-Results Discussion [00:24:00] — The cast discusses hearing aids (Dale mentions wearing them), explores their Ancestry accounts, and Dale discovers he has 804 fourth cousins or closer on the platform.
- Family Tree Exploration [00:28:00] — Dale reveals his sister has traced the family back to the 1300s in England. Bob discovers his mother’s legal name is Giovanna, not just Jenny, shocking Daniel.
- Toy Hall of Fame Discussion [00:39:05] — The show debates the National Toy Hall of Fame finalists including Rock’em Sock’em Robots, Clue, Nerf, and Pinball. Dale argues Rock’em Sock’em should win.
- ACL Ticket Contest Setup [00:45:00] — Dale sets up a contest for ACL weekend passes: the 11th caller who can name both the Cherokee-themed song he mentioned earlier and ACL’s unofficial drink (important to the show) wins.
Guests
- Anna (expert) [00:00:17] — Ancestry.com representative who explained the cast’s DNA results and answered questions about genetic markers and ancestry
Callers
- David [00:36:46] — Offered advice about using Ancestry.com hints and warned about verifying information Brief call with technical advice; Dale acknowledged but moved on quickly
Quotes
You’re 96 percent European. You’re 77 percent Great Britain, so you’re the most British so far.
Anna (Ancestry.com) [00:15:16]
Is this how much Native American I am? Zero point zero.
Dale Dudley [00:16:14]
20 years you’ve been playing the charity. I’m part Cherokee.
Bob Fonseca [00:16:32]
Daniel, you are 93% European. You’re 25% Irish.
Anna (Ancestry.com) [00:20:01]
I feel like a rebirth. I’m a quarter Irish now.
Daniel Gallo [00:28:00]
Part 3: Toy Hall of Fame and Salivary Duct Stones
The show wraps up with Dale obsessing over his Ancestry.com results, discovering he has zero Native American DNA despite family lore. The hosts also discuss political news including George W. Bush’s 22 million missing emails, watch videos of salivary stones and clogged ducts, and cover a UT-area shooting where an 18-year-old shot a fraternity security guard in the foot. The segment ends with a Columbia University student crying over pro-Trump chalk and a wall built by activists.
Segments
- ACL Ticket Contest Results [00:00:03] — Dale discusses how contestants got close to the answer ‘Indian Reservation’ by Paul Revere and the Raiders but couldn’t get ‘Topo Chico’ as the unofficial ACL drink. Matt enforced the rules strictly.
- Exploring the Family Tree [00:02:40] — Dale dives deep into his sister Susan’s Ancestry.com family tree, finding relatives going back to the 1300s and examining old family photos and documents from Georgia and Maryland.
- Lost Land and Civil War [00:09:00] — Dale’s sister explains via text that the family lost their land during the Civil War to carpetbaggers from the North. Dale explores ancestors who fought in the Revolutionary War.
- Vasectomy Ad Read [00:12:33] — Dale and Bob do an ad read for Austin Urology Institute and Dr. Shaw’s vasectomy services, tying it to the family tree discussion.
- George W. Bush Missing Emails [00:14:20] — Dale discusses a Newsweek article revealing 22 million emails went missing during the Bush administration (2003-2009), covering the Iraq War and financial crisis period.
- Trump Rally Violence [00:19:00] — News report about 69-year-old Shirley Teeter being punched at a Trump rally after chanting ‘dump, dump, dump’ in response to ‘Trump, Trump, Trump.’ Dale criticizes anyone who resorts to violence over disagreements.
- Hillary Clinton ‘Death’ Gaffe [00:21:53] — ABC news anchor Joe Torres accidentally says ‘Hillary Clinton’s death’ instead of ‘health’ when discussing her pneumonia diagnosis.
- More Ancestry Exploration [00:23:03] — Dale goes back to exploring his Morrow family line, finding ancestors from the 1500s in Ipswich, England. He shows pictures of his grandmother Nell (Meemaw) and grandfather Bert.
- Salivary Stone Video [00:33:00] — The hosts watch a video of a man pushing a salivary duct stone out from under his tongue. They also attempt to watch a clogged milk duct video that proves anticlimactic.
- San Marcos Pool Fight [00:45:00] — Dale shows a video from the UK Daily Mail hyping a ‘mass brawl’ at a Texas apartment complex pool. The hosts find it disappointing and lecture the young fighters about pointless violence.
- South Park Colin Kaepernick Parody [00:47:00] — The show plays a South Park clip parodying Colin Kaepernick’s national anthem protest, with the new lyrics ‘oh I just got my stuff back, cops are pigs again.’
- UT Sigma Chi Shooting [00:48:17] — News report about 18-year-old Daniel McGee shooting a Sigma Chi security guard in the foot after being kicked out of a party. He was rushed by UT student and was on Xanax and alcohol. APD SWAT arrested him at his apartment.
- Columbia Student Crying Over Trump Chalk [00:55:00] — Video from James O’Keefe showing a Columbia University student crying over pro-Trump activists building a paper wall and writing Trump in chalk. Dale notes she’s actually trying to understand the other side despite being upset.
Text Line
- [00:03:00] Dale’s sister Susan explaining how to navigate the Ancestry family tree by clicking black arrows above names — read by Dale Dudley Helped Dale navigate back through the centuries of family history
- [00:09:40] Sister Susan texting that the family lost land in the Civil War to Northern carpetbaggers — read by Dale Dudley Explained why the family no longer owns land despite ancestral wealth
- [00:09:52] Sister texts that the Dooley line goes back further than the Dudley line — read by Dale Dudley Directed Dale to explore a different branch of the family tree
Quotes
If you don’t want any more people on your family tree, go get a vasectomy.
Dale Dudley [00:12:33]
When you grow up there is never anything good about fighting. I’ve never won a fistfight.
Dale Dudley [00:45:21]
What moron allows their child to have a handgun in college? Your body is raging in hormones.
Dale Dudley [00:50:32]