Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Friday, December 2, 2016
This Show
Part 1: BOB’s BIG MOMENT
Dale opens the show discussing his new remote studio equipment, then pivots to thanking the engineers. Bob recounts his meeting with Bruce Springsteen at BookPeople in Austin – a three-hour wait culminating in a brief but deeply meaningful encounter. The hosts joke about Bob’s resemblance to Springsteen, and Bob describes the experience as borderline religious. The show also features Animal Cavalcade segments with unusual animal stories, discussions about Carissa potentially getting cosmetic surgery, and Daniel defending his board-running abilities.
Segments
- Show Open [00:01:33] — Dale introduces the show, mentions Cowboys victory, discusses home studio equipment the station provided him.
- Daniel’s Pledge Against Passive Aggression [00:04:06] — Dale makes Daniel pledge not to be passive-aggressive about equipment discussions.
- Bob’s Bruce Springsteen Experience Begins [00:06:14] — Bob describes arriving at BookPeople for the Bruce Springsteen book signing.
- Engineer Chuck Validates Dale [00:08:26] — Dale recounts conversation with Chuck about studio capabilities and the engineer’s job being to say ‘no’ to save money.
- Facebook Friendship Anniversary [00:14:22] — The hosts discover Facebook celebrating eight years of friendship between Bob and boss Chase Roop, noting their striking physical resemblance.
- The Resemblance Discussion [00:18:00] — Extended discussion of Bob and Bruce Springsteen’s similar features, hairline, nose, and clothing choices.
- The BookPeople Experience [00:20:00] — Bob describes the well-organized event, meeting Scrappy Judd Newcomb in line, and the building anticipation.
- Meeting the Boss [00:24:56] — Bob’s detailed account of his brief encounter with Bruce Springsteen, what he said (‘Love you, man’ and ‘Thanks for everything’), and the profound emotional impact.
- Religious Experience [00:28:00] — Bob compares the feeling to what church should feel like, Matt and Dale joke about the cult-like devotion.
- Animal Cavalcade [00:33:03] — Various animal stories including a dog allegedly cleaning up its own urine, wildlife camera catching people in gorilla suits, expensive beer in taxidermied squirrels, and a frozen cat in Russia.
Recurring Bits
- Animal Cavalcade [00:33:03] — Dale presents several unusual animal stories from the internet
Guests
- Audience of One (unnamed female) (other) [00:34:03] — Young woman who recently had a baby, sitting in studio as paid audience member
Quotes
Do you understand that my job is to say no.
Dale Dudley [00:09:08]
When he looks you in your eyes, you see all the years, all the shows, all the songs.
Bob Fonseca [00:24:56]
This is what you should feel like after you go to church.
Bob Fonseca [00:27:46]
You know everything about him. He knows nothing about you, except he knows everything about you.
Bob Fonseca [00:29:23]
Part 2: Matt Gets ANGY
Matt Bearden melts down after a listener calls to correct his description of an H-E-B remote location. What starts as a simple geographic clarification spirals into an extended on-air argument about whether Dell is ‘near’ Gattis School Road, with dozens of callers weighing in. The segment also features Fast Food Fanatic reviews, Amy (Audience of One) revealing she was bumped twice before (once for her aunt’s death), and Daniel’s bizarre food preferences.
Segments
- Breaking and Entering Promo [00:00:00] — Dale promotes the Breaking and Entering Christmas charity event, emphasizing they need families who can be ‘tricked’ into letting them in. Plays audio of a homeowner defending against burglars to illustrate why access matters.
- Matt Announces H-E-B Remote [00:04:04] — Matt plugs his remote at H-E-B on Gattis School Road ‘near Dell campus,’ setting up the segment’s central conflict.
- The Correction Call [00:09:06] — A listener calls during commercial break to correct Matt’s statement that Dell is on Gattis School Road. Matt explodes, walks off set saying ‘thanks lady, you just ruined my day.’
- Matt’s Defense [00:11:00] — Matt argues Dell is a major landmark everyone knows, even if it’s not technically ON Gattis School Road. Becomes increasingly angry about the ‘tone’ of the correction.
- Caller Flood Begins [00:14:00] — Phones light up with people calling to clarify, correct, or add to the confusion about H-E-B locations. Multiple callers offer cross streets and contradictory information.
- Amy (Audience of One) Validates Matt [00:20:00] — Amy confirms the original caller had a ‘heinous’ tone, validating Matt’s reaction. Dale questions why Bob never got this defense when he was rude to Audience of One members.
- Colorado Nasty Woman Story [00:24:00] — Dale tells how Matt’s wife Kara almost got him in a fight in Breckenridge when wearing a ‘Nasty Woman’ sweatshirt that provoked a Trump supporter.
- Amy Almost Validates Bob [00:29:00] — Amy confirms the original caller had major attitude, giving Bob a rare moment of vindication for his own past Audience of One conflicts.
- Fast Food Fanatic Begins [00:38:00] — The show finally starts Fast Food Fanatic segment, covering new items including the Anaconda burrito, Wendy’s sriracha fries, and Big Mac creator’s death.
- Daniel Doesn’t Like Burritos [00:40:00] — Daniel reveals he’s never been to Chipotle or Freebirds and doesn’t like burritos, shocking the hosts. Dale tries to convince him to try burrito bowls.
- Big Mac History [00:44:00] — Discussion of Big Mac creator’s death at 98, with revelation that the middle bun was added to prevent the double burger from sliding apart.
- Daniel’s Bizarre Food Logic [00:51:00] — Daniel complains McDonald’s is ‘lazy’ for only having four McNugget shapes, compares it to brick walls. Reveals he likes hash browns but not tater tots despite them being essentially the same.
- Luby’s Mac and Cheese [00:55:00] — News that Luby’s is selling frozen mac and cheese at H-E-B. Carissa loves it; Daniel dismisses the story as ‘filler.’
Recurring Bits
- Fast Food Fanatic [00:38:00] — Daniel reviews new fast food items including three-foot Anaconda burrito, sriracha fries, Cheetos quesadilla, giant McNugget, and chicken crust pizza
- Audience of One [00:20:00] — Amy is in studio, third attempt after being bumped for sponsor and her aunt’s death. She validates Matt’s anger and gives Bob rare vindication.
- The Sideshow [00:21:30] — Dale mentions they may move to a free platform in 2017; Amy is a subscriber
Guests
- Amy (other) [00:20:00] — Audience of One listener, third attempt to sit in after being bumped for sponsor and aunt’s death from brain cancer
Callers
- unnamed woman [00:09:06] — Correcting Matt’s statement that Dell is on Gattis School Road Triggered Matt’s complete meltdown, walked off set, became the central topic for 30+ minutes. Amy later confirmed she had major attitude.
- Ronald (Vegas) (regular) [00:14:00] — Called in from Vegas while drinking Brief exchange, Dale ribbed him about turning down free advertising opportunity
- unnamed (South Austin woman) (South Austin) [00:14:50] — Defended South Austin listeners’ ability to find H-E-B Another caller later called her the ‘dumbest chick’ for not just using GPS
- unnamed (multiple callers) (various) [00:15:00-00:23:00] — Providing cross streets, correcting locations, offering navigation help Created extended chaos as dozens called with conflicting information about H-E-B locations, cross streets (Greenlawn vs Redbud), and proximity to Dell
- unnamed man [00:16:40] — Confirmed there’s an H-E-B across from I-45 Matt yelled at him when he acknowledged it’s not on Gattis School Road
- Mr. Gattis employee [00:35:00] — Called to confirm Mr. Gattis location and answer questions about their food Led to discussion of old Gattis buffet and Daniel asking if sausage and hamburger are the same
Quotes
Thanks lady. You just ruined my day.
Matt Bearden [00:09:30]
I live downtown where it’s hip and cool because I am effing awesome.
Matt Bearden [00:11:40]
I quit this bitch!
Matt Bearden [00:16:00]
Life is hard enough. Why couldn’t she have just called and said hey, actually?
Amy (Audience of One) [00:29:00]
We have the dumbest listeners. I love them.
Dale Dudley [00:34:00]
Caller Meltdown
The show features extensive discussion of religious figures’ reactions to Trump’s election, with Pat Robertson audio clips about women’s periods and haunted houses drawing mockery from the hosts. The segment also includes multiple calls from an increasingly drunk listener named Paul, who calls in repeatedly under different names. The hosts discuss a vintage Rambler car (‘Elizabeth’) featured in Austin Stories that was recently profiled in the Austin American-Statesman.
Segments
- Show Opening / Technical Issues [00:00:00] — Show opens with audio issues and Dale complaining about poor copy from a salesperson. They discuss their upcoming sold-out live podcast with Mighty Swell cocktail sponsorship.
- Preachers Speaking in Tongues [00:02:12] — Dale plays audio of John Kilpatrick from Evangel Temple in Mississippi speaking in tongues and celebrating Trump’s election victory. The hosts mock the performance extensively.
- First Call from Paul [00:09:19] — Paul calls about Matt’s pistol requirements and mentions Texas concealed carry legislation. Matt thanks him for an email.
- Rick Joyner on Trump [00:10:06] — Dale plays audio of Rick Joyner claiming Trump has a ‘fear of the Lord’ and is humble before clergy. The hosts are skeptical of these claims.
- Pat Robertson: Haunted House Advice [00:13:36] — Pat Robertson advises a caller about a house with multiple suicides to either perform an exorcism or sell it to someone else. The hosts mock his supernatural advice.
- Pat Robertson: Estranged Daughter [00:14:32] — Robertson blames an estranged daughter’s behavior on ‘hormonal changes’ and her period, claiming women ‘go through cycles’ that make them ‘get nuts.’ The hosts are outraged but also amused.
- Caller Reactions to Pat Robertson [00:20:31] — Multiple callers respond, including Jenny who is angry at Robertson’s condescending attitude toward women.
- Elizabeth the Rambler Story [00:21:47] — Matt discusses the Austin American-Statesman article about ‘Elizabeth,’ a 1964 Rambler used in Austin Stories that was passed among comedians including Johnny Hardwick, J.R. Brow, and Howard Kramer. The car was recently found in Arizona.
- Bowling for Warriors Promo [00:28:08] — Valerie calls to promote the Warrior Bowling event at Dark Bowl to benefit Breaking and Entering charity.
- Breaking and Entering Nominations [00:30:17] — Daniel discusses the tragic Breaking and Entering family nominations they’ve received, noting stories involving cancer and death.
- Paul Returns – Multiple Times [00:33:21] — Paul calls back multiple times, increasingly drunk on Wild Turkey 101 and MGD, calling Dale ‘Dale Dudley Boy’ and admitting he called in sick to work as a software developer.
- Old Bitty Calls In [00:35:24] — Old Bitty, a bisexual trucker who had a cable access show, calls in. He’s been married 30 years and still goes to Rocky Horror. The hosts reminisce about him teaching them about ‘pickle parks.’
- Elizabeth Car Restoration Discussion [00:36:51] — The hosts discuss possibly restoring the Rambler but quickly lose enthusiasm when they realize how much work it would be.
- Josh on Daughter’s Death Fears [00:53:57] — Caller Josh discusses his three-year-old daughter randomly bringing up death, and how his wife told her he could die if she didn’t let him sleep.
- Paul’s Final Calls [00:56:06] — Paul calls repeatedly in the final minutes, pretending to be ‘Tyler’ and other names, clearly very intoxicated.
- Billy Insults Dale [00:57:45] — Recurring caller Billy calls to say ‘nobody’s going to remember you’ and critiques the show, ending the broadcast on a sour note as Dale predicted.
Callers
- Paul Seeds [00:09:19] — Matt’s pistol requirements and concealed carry laws Brief exchange, Matt thanks him for an email
- unnamed [00:14:19] — Religious zealots supporting Trump for the apocalypse Dale disagrees with her theory
- Jenny [00:20:56] — Angry about Pat Robertson’s condescending comments about women Brief venting call, hosts sympathize
- unnamed [00:21:25] — Speaking in tongues sounds like ‘Rubber Biscuit’ song Quick comparison that the hosts enjoy
- Rob (regular) [00:20:35] — Joking about Daniel and the camel hump day commercial Brief joke about the Geico commercial not being real voice
- Paul Seeds (regular) [00:32:22] — White line fever joke about Dale’s boots / cocaine reference Joke falls flat, hosts offer him stage time sarcastically
- Old Bitty (San Antonio, working in Austin) (regular) [00:35:00] — Calling to send love, discussing his life (married 30 years, still does Rocky Horror) Nostalgic conversation about his cable access show and ‘pickle parks’
- Valerie (regular) [00:28:33] — Promoting Warrior Bowling event at Dark Bowl for Breaking and Entering charity Successfully promotes the event, hosts make period jokes afterward
- Paul Seeds (regular) [00:48:24] — Drunk, calling Dale ‘Dale Dudley Boy’, discussing 1994 Clearly intoxicated now, reveals he’s drinking Wild Turkey 101 and MGD
- Paul Seeds (as ‘Angel’) (regular) [00:52:05] — Calls again very drunk, apologizes for calling Dale ‘boy’ Even more intoxicated, admits he called in sick to work
- Josh [00:54:17] — His three-year-old daughter told he could die if she doesn’t let him sleep; fears she’ll blame herself if he dies Serious discussion about kids’ understanding of death
- Paul Seeds (as ‘Tyler’) (regular) [00:56:10] — Pretending to be someone else, very drunk Hosts recognize him immediately, he admits he’s alone and lonely
- unnamed [00:57:13] — Long time listener complimenting the show Nice positive call, hosts thank him
- Billy (regular) [00:57:46] — Insults Dale saying ‘nobody’s going to remember you’ Ruins the end of the show as Dale predicted, discussions about his mental illness
- Paul Seeds (regular) [00:59:15] — Calls one more time asking about tacos Final drunk call before show ends
- Michael [00:59:26] — Noticed all the boots on women at HEB after Dale mentioned it Leads to Matt promoting his HEB appearance
Quotes
I get really livid that people aren’t smarter when it comes to religion.
Dale Dudley [00:04:54]
There are demon spirits. They are real. The house is possessed.
Pat Robertson (audio) [00:15:54]
Daughters can be the sweetest things in the world, but they go through puberty and get nuts.
Pat Robertson (audio) [00:17:39]
A slight little slight sets them off and they don’t know what’s going on.
Pat Robertson (audio) [00:18:01]
It’s problem after problem with the ladies.
Pat Robertson (audio) [00:20:14]
I started realizing I’m describing a city that doesn’t exist anymore.
Matt Bearden [00:41:21]
Why are they letting me in? Nobody’s gating me, man.
Paul (caller) [00:52:29]