Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Wednesday, March 22, 2017
This Show
Part 1: Decency Training & The Tunnel Conspiracy Continued
Dale arrives late and upset, sparking immediate tension. The show spirals into two major conflicts: Dale’s refusal to attend mandatory corporate ‘decency training’ (which he finds insulting and repetitive after 25 years), and Daniel’s conspiracy theory about a secret Lady Bird Johnson escape tunnel beneath the station building. The tunnel debate becomes a running argument throughout the segment, with Bob initially backing Dale but slowly being swayed by Daniel’s points about why the building has a basement at all. Dale grows increasingly frustrated with both corporate bureaucracy and Daniel’s willingness to believe conspiracy theories over Dale’s firsthand knowledge of the building’s construction.
Segments
- Show Open – Dale Arrives Late [00:00:16] — Bob does an elaborate intro while Dale arrives late and parks crooked. Dale immediately complains about the heat in the studio and discovers a puddle of liquid (likely Carissa’s pen drool) on the board.
- The Tunnel Conspiracy Continues [00:06:46] — Daniel mentions he spent all night on Google Earth trying to locate the exit point of the alleged escape tunnel, convinced there’s a ‘giant safe house’ across the street. Dale is incredulous that this is still being discussed.
- 25th Anniversary Listener Messages [00:08:01] — The show plays a montage of anniversary congratulations from celebrities (Joe Rogan, Bobcat Goldthwait, Maria Bamford, Greg Giraldo, Kevin Nealon) and longtime listeners including Warrior Mom, Puck Bunny Amy, Adam Wolf, and Eddie Gosling.
- The Pen Drool Incident [00:12:00] — Dale discovers a puddle of liquid on the board where Carissa sits. Through a ‘viscosity test’ with paper, they determine it’s saliva from her chewing on a pen. Dale asks for ‘common decency’ which triggers the next segment.
- Decency Training Rant Begins [00:13:46] — The phrase ‘common decency’ reminds Dale of the mandatory FCC decency training sessions. Dale explodes about corporate requiring him to attend the same training every year after 25 years, calling it insulting and saying he won’t go.
- Dale Refuses to Attend Training [00:17:01] — Dale discovers Bob and Matt attended yesterday’s training. He’s furious they didn’t tell him and insists he won’t leave work early or stay late to attend. He half-jokingly threatens to leave for another station, saying his contract is up June 1st.
- Social Media and FCC Rules [00:22:24] — Bob explains the training covered social media endorsement rules – if Dale wears a Ramones shirt and gets photographed, it could be seen as advertising unless he uses ‘hashtag ad.’ The absurdity of these rules fuels Dale’s anger further.
- Old Lady Hate and Ronald Shang Drop [00:25:01] — Dale mentions getting ‘old lady hate’ on Facebook last night and threatens to go on a rant. They play an angry voice drop that references ‘Ronald Shang’ and attacking women, police, and Austin stereotypes.
- The Tunnel Conspiracy Deepens [00:29:00] — Daniel explains the theory originated with Thomas (former producer) who told intern John about a Lady Bird Johnson escape tunnel. Dale insists he watched the building being constructed and there’s no tunnel, but Bob starts questioning why the building has a basement at all when no other buildings in Austin do.
- Sub-Basement and Elevator Key Theory [00:34:59] — Matt suggests there’s a ‘sub-basement’ below the basement accessed by a special key in the elevator. Bob backs this up. Dale claims he talked to Chuck (building engineer) who confirmed the tunnel exists but the Johnson family is unhappy Daniel mentioned it on air.
- The Ladybird Tunneling Machine [00:40:58] — Bob reveals he found a Google result for a ’13-ton tunneling machine called the Ladybird.’ The conspiracy grows as they speculate about UT’s known tunnel system potentially connecting to the station. Daniel volunteers to go search the basement but Matt refuses to join him.
- Segment Ends in Frustration [00:44:13] — Dale, exasperated by both the decency training issue and the tunnel conspiracy, says his ‘head’s gonna explode.’ The segment ends with Dale threatening to ‘blow it up today’ – meaning quit or cause a scene.
Quotes
We’re asking for a little CD – common decency.
Dale Dudley [00:13:46]
My contract is up June 1st. I am willing to build another show somewhere else.
Dale Dudley [00:17:37]
They expect you to sit through it like you’re some dummy. It’s so insulting.
Dale Dudley [00:20:12]
They don’t build a basement for no reason. That place served no function.
Bob Fonseca [00:28:34]
The Johnson family still owns this building and they’re not happy about the tunnel.
Dale Dudley [00:35:01]
Conspiracies aren’t funny when they elect an absolute fraud and criminal as president.
Dale Dudley [00:42:30]
Part 2: Bob’s Lost Love
This part focuses heavily on Bob’s past relationship with Kendra Scott (now a billionaire jewelry designer) and Dale’s hurt feelings over being blindsided by it 25+ years ago. The hosts play archival audio from 1991 when Bob was auditioning to join the show, and repeatedly play a short congratulatory message from Kendra Scott edited to only say ‘Bob.’ The segment includes Animal Cavalcade, a Susan Sarandon ping-pong bar opening in Austin, and various video clips.
Segments
- Paramount Theater Thank You [00:00:00] — Voicemail from Lisa Brass thanking Dale and Bob for presenting a trophy to Ron White during Moon Tower Comedy Festival, noting Ron was moved to tears.
- Cameron Crowe Story Fragment [00:01:31] — Brief discussion about someone auditioning for Cameron Crowe for a role, involving a friend named Steve who was dying of cancer.
- Tunnel Talk and Producer Clarifications [00:02:09] — Dale clarifies he wasn’t calling the previous producer an idiot during tunnel discussion; casual banter about Orange Theory and fitness watches.
- Surprise Guest Setup [00:03:09] — Daniel mentions a surprise guest is waiting; Dale says the surprise was blown for him but Bob doesn’t know yet.
- Austin Ping-Pong Bar Tease [00:04:43] — Dale mentions Austin is getting its first ping-pong bar (Susan Sarandon’s ‘Spin’) but gets sidetracked.
- 1991 Archival Audio [00:07:12] — Playing old tape from 1991 of Dale and Bob when Bob was auditioning to join the show, discussing Deborah Cole being fired from B-93.
- ALC Steak Surprise Arrival [00:12:28] — Scotty from ALC Steak brings breakfast sandwiches to the studio; Daniel upset because the surprise was spoiled.
- Bob’s Audition Story [00:14:18] — Bob explains how Clark Ryan called him from the ad agency in 1991 to audition, taking a massive pay cut to join the show.
- The Kendra Scott Story Begins [00:17:03] — Dale brings up how Bob started dating Kendra Scott (who had a hat store) while Dale was sending her flowers, blindsiding him.
- Kendra Scott Anniversary Message [00:25:01] — Playing Kendra Scott’s congratulatory voicemail, edited to only say ‘Bob’ (cutting out Dale), which becomes a running joke.
- Bob’s Relationship History [00:26:58] — Bob explains dumping Jennifer (his current wife) for Kendra, then getting back together after a funeral epiphany, and later being kicked out in 2008.
- Kendra Scott Empire Reflection [00:34:22] — Discussion of Kendra Scott’s billion-dollar jewelry empire and Bob’s missed opportunity; Carissa talks about listening to Kendra’s ‘How I Built This’ podcast.
- Susan Sarandon Ping-Pong Bar Details [00:39:48] — Dale finally explains that spin, a ping-pong bar, is opening in the old Antone’s location on Fifth Street with 14 tables.
- Wheatsville Co-op Makeover [00:42:01] — Brief mention of Wheatsville Co-op renovation and tomato gate callback.
- Video Clips [00:45:20] — Watching videos: man getting arrested at the Alamo in his underwear, Wheel of Fortune fail.
- Animal Cavalcade [00:52:09] — Dudley the cow with prosthetic leg, cat expert at cup-and-ball game, turkey breaking up rooster fight, kid versus llama, dad making toddler ride a steer.
Recurring Bits
- Animal Cavalcade [00:52:09] — Dudley the cow with prosthetic leg, smart cat playing cup game, turkey cop stopping rooster fight, llama versus kid, toddler bull riding
Guests
- Scotty from ALC Steak (other) [00:12:28] — Brought breakfast sandwiches as a surprise; accidentally spoiled it by asking Dale for directions
Quotes
She brought him nine hats. None of them fit me.
Dale Dudley [00:17:31]
We read your cards last night to each other laughing.
Dale Dudley [00:21:56]
Every one of those stores is a Target rich environment.
Matt Bearden [00:36:13]
Part 3: Musician Johnny Goudie
Musician Johnny Goudie visits for the show’s 23rd anniversary. The segment opens with a long Doug Stanhope voicemail montage, then transitions into ‘What Do You Got’ for Dave Chappelle tickets. The conversation veers into Johnny’s personal life (recent breakup, his mother’s murder case), Bob’s dating history at Fat Tuesdays, and ends with discussion of Johnny’s bands including Skyrocket, Lady Band Johnson with Kathy Valentine, and the Bodines. The ‘What Do You Got’ contest produces memorable calls including a woman who dated Bob in the 90s, a rapper, and eventually Summer Youngblood wins the tickets.
Segments
- Doug Stanhope Voicemail Marathon [00:00:00] — Extended montage of drunken voicemails from comedian Doug Stanhope, calling repeatedly through the night, mentioning Taco Cabana, Alex Jones, watermelon jalapeno strawberry margaritas, and asking Daniel not to air the messages.
- Johnny Goudie Arrives [00:02:11] — Musician Johnny Goudie comes in for the anniversary, bringing candy and a card. Dale discusses Johnny as one of his ‘approved successors’ if he should die, and the history of their friendship in Austin music.
- Skyrocket and Austin Music [00:07:00] — Discussion of Johnny’s cover band Skyrocket, considered one of the best in the country, with reverence for the music they perform. Dale praises Johnny’s vocal work, particularly on ‘Hot Child in the City’.
- Johnny’s Recent Breakup [00:09:11] — Johnny reveals his girlfriend ended their relationship. Dale probes about the situation and suggests doing a speed dating segment for Johnny on-air.
- Mother’s Murder Case Discussion [00:17:00] — Dale brings up Johnny’s mother’s tragic murder, which was unsolved for 20+ years, featured on 48 Hours, and the perpetrator was recently released on appeal. Johnny handles it with grace despite Dale’s awkward delivery.
- What Do You Got Contest Begins [00:21:45] — The show opens phones for Dave Chappelle tickets using ‘What Do You Got’ – callers must say something interesting, funny, or entertaining to win.
- Kathy the Carrabba’s Manager [00:27:00] — A caller who managed the first Carrabba’s restaurant reveals she went on a date with Bob Fonseca in the early 90s at Dan McCluskey’s/Fat Tuesdays. Bob vaguely remembers exchanging notes in Spanish.
- The Rapper Caller [00:35:02] — A caller performs his rap about ‘the land of the young and the restless’ multiple times. Dale is unimpressed but says he might call him back, joking about being afraid of getting shot.
- Zoloft Caller [00:38:39] — A female caller discusses taking Zoloft and seasonal affective disorder. Dale probes about her medications and self-medicating, and whether Johnny would date a ‘female Dale Dudley’.
- Summer Youngblood Wins [00:44:23] — Summer calls in with a breastfeeding baby with four teeth and bloody nipples. After some back-and-forth about Carissa being a ‘hot mess’, Dale awards the tickets to Summer, who they know from Facebook and who’s been through a rough time.
- Paul McCartney Debate [00:42:09] — Amanda (Dale’s wife) appears backstage and Dale tells the story of taking her to the Beatles LOVE show in Vegas, where she revealed she doesn’t like Paul McCartney because she only knows his 1980s solo work.
- Johnny’s Cuban Heritage [00:55:33] — Discussion of Johnny being Cuban, his six-month estrangement from his father (recently reconciled), and his reservations about visiting Cuba due to the government that forced his family to leave.
Recurring Bits
- What Do You Got [00:21:45] — Contest for Dave Chappelle tickets where callers must spontaneously say something interesting or entertaining
- Pop Squirrel [00:32:00] — Pop Squirrel character makes crude remarks about Dale’s wife Amanda
Guests
- Johnny Goudie (musician) [00:02:11] — Austin musician visiting for the show’s 23rd anniversary. Performs with Skyrocket, Lady Band Johnson with Kathy Valentine, and the Bodines. Recently went through a breakup.
- Doug Stanhope (comedian) [00:00:00] — Left multiple drunken voicemails overnight that were edited into a montage. Not actually present in studio.
- Scrappy Judd Newcomb (musician) [00:21:43] — Left voicemail congratulations for the anniversary, mentioning everyone on the show
Callers
- unnamed [00:25:16] — LBJ tunnel conspiracy at Longhorn Cavern Dale hung up on him for trying to shoehorn too many bits into one extended joke
- unnamed [00:26:00] — Challenged Chuy to a car race in his 1964 Ford Chuy accepted the challenge jokingly, suggesting pink slips
- Kathy (regular) [00:27:00] — Worked at the first Carrabba’s, dated Bob Fonseca in the 90s at Fat Tuesdays Long conversation revealing Bob’s dating history, they exchanged notes in Spanish. Put on hold as a potential winner.
- unnamed [00:29:02] — Quoted Caddyshack Dalai Lama bit Dale enjoyed the callback to an earlier bit
- unnamed [00:35:02] — Called in to promote his short film ‘Voice for the Lonely’ about a dying radio DJ Asked to send the film to Daniel’s email
- unnamed rapper [00:37:00] — Performed his rap about ‘the land of the young and the restless’ Performed twice, Dale was unimpressed and made jokes about being afraid of getting shot. Put on hold as potential winner.
- unnamed [00:38:39] — Taking extra Zoloft after hearing Johnny’s story, discussed depression and SSRIs Long conversation about medication and whether Johnny would date her. Put on hold as potential winner.
- unnamed [00:43:34] — Backpacking in Tibet, met the Dalai Lama Another Caddyshack quote that landed well
- Summer Youngblood (regular) [00:44:23] — Breastfeeding baby with four teeth causing bloody nipples Won the Dave Chappelle tickets. They know her from Facebook and she’s been through a rough time. Carissa got defensive when Summer mentioned waiting to have kids. Summer is a dog groomer who offered to cut Dale’s dog Dinky.
- unnamed [00:48:43] — Trapped in a tunnel Hung on for a while just to deliver one line about being trapped in a tunnel, referencing an earlier show bit
- unnamed [00:49:10] — Collected Daniel Gallo-isms over three years Shared several funny Daniel quotes including ‘I grew up with carpet so I have no idea what pine saw smells like’ and ‘it’s so hard to learn in your thirties’. Dale asked him to email the full list.
- unnamed [00:51:48] — Has sciatic nerve pain Told Dale to give the tickets to the rapping dude
- unnamed [00:52:18] — Loves the Beatles but Paul McCartney is his least favorite Beatle Dale argued passionately defending Paul McCartney
Music
- Johnny Goudie / Skyrocket — Discussion of Johnny’s vocal work on ‘Hot Child in the City’ and other covers. Skyrocket playing Saturday at Cedar Street.
- The Bodines — Johnny opened for the Bodines in Houston, sang with them. Their hit ‘Closer to Free’ was the Party of Five theme song.
- Lady Band Johnson — Johnny’s band with Kathy Valentine (of the Go-Go’s) and the Blue Bonnets. Putting out a record.
Quotes
Johnny’s on the list of approved successors if I should ever croak
Dale Dudley [00:07:28]
Your survival amazes me
Dale Dudley [00:13:25]
This is a cockpit recording before a plane hits the wall
Dale Dudley [00:17:54]
Why don’t we blow this popsicle stand and go get a slurpee?
Bob Fonseca [00:30:08]
I grew up in the eighties. That was my only exposure to Paul McCartney
Amanda [00:42:28]