🎙️ First Hour Analysis 🎙️

Analysis of Matt & Bob Show 08-09-2023 (First Third)

Is it a Hot Dog Friday Show?

No – This is a Wednesday show (00:42.175).

Food items/restaurants talked about:

• Burger King (mentioned in show title only, not discussed in this portion)
• Gack (spelled “GAC”) – mentioned at 21:00.139-21:13.937
• Coffee – discussed multiple times (37:22.416-37:50.227)
• Juice – 43:03.083
• Spaghetti dinner – 36:41.131

News stories talked about during this portion:

• Cedar Park/North Austin fire (21:36.343-27:00.351) – Brush fire that destroyed multiple apartment complexes, 60% contained, related to heat and dry conditions
• Texas man dies in Utah (24:08.649-25:16.672) – Man went to spread father’s ashes at Utah’s Arches, died from heat stroke
• Jamie Foxx controversy (24:24.854-24:33.342) – Backlash over social media post about Jesus that was interpreted as antisemitic
• COVID-19 updates (38:01.052-47:29.923) – Bob Fonseca out with COVID, discussion of new symptoms including prosopagnosia (face blindness), travel cancellations

“Click Click Boom” segment (13:02.720-21:10.710):

The segment featured “Infamous 90s School Bans” – items banned from schools in the 1990s:

• Bart Simpson t-shirts (13:32.275-14:42.642) – Banned for “offensive” quotes like “eat my shorts” and “don’t have a cow, man”
• Tech Decks (15:00.143-16:28.438) – Finger skateboards that became disruptive
• Pogs (16:42.157-18:57.055) – Coin-shaped discs used for gambling; slammers turned into weapons
• Jinko Jeans (19:01.535-20:17.006) – Ultra baggy jeans with 23-inch diameter cuffs
• Gak (20:20.801-21:10.710) – Nickelodeon slime toy that was messy and disruptive

Funny moments or memorable quotes:

• Chewie’s elaborate intro of Matt as “Austin’s own Paul Rudd” (01:10.183-01:35.904)
• Discussion of naming Chewie’s sister’s baby “Bobby” or other traditionally male names (02:59.217-05:15.843)
• Matt’s middle name joke: “Matt Hippopotamus” (01:49.853-01:54.684)
• Chewie’s half-sister’s middle name is “Dale” (03:50.123-03:50.525)
• Matt’s daughter’s middle name is “Ryan” for potential business advantage (04:12.447-04:48.003)
• “Me and Bobby McGee” discussion where Chewie doesn’t know the classic song (05:34.074-06:14.501)
• Chewie claiming his dad avoids disease by not thinking about it (27:38.223-28:18.652)
• Discussion of whether Bob “manifested” his COVID (28:01.021-28:29.923)
• Matt’s dream about a cold front icing over Austin (26:02.890-26:41.303)
• Chewie saying “If you’re in the shade, it’s cool” about the heat (26:42.262)

Phone callers this portion:

• None

Bob’s Rock and Roll News segment (29:01.577-37:22.416):

Bob Fonseca was absent due to COVID, so Matt Bearden delivered the Rock and Roll News. The segment opened with Matt’s humorous extended explanation of Bob’s absence, mimicking Bob’s delivery style with repeated “whoa, whoa, whoa” exchanges about whether he has COVID and should be at work.

The main story covered the 2023 MTV Video Music Awards nominations in the Best Rock category. Matt questioned MTV’s continued relevance, noting that both adults and kids don’t care about MTV anymore. The nominations exclusively featured bands from the 1980s and 1990s: Foo Fighters (founded in the 90s) for “The Teacher,” Linkin Park (90s) for “Lost,” Red Hot Chili Peppers (80s) for “Tip of My Tongue,” Metallica (80s) for “Lux Eterna,” and Muse (90s) for their Halloween-themed song. Matt noted that rock has “a currency problem,” though the newer band Måneskin was also nominated. Fans can vote at vote.mtv.com, and the awards will air September 12th.

The second story reported that Jay-Z’s Made in America festival has been cancelled due to “unforeseen circumstances.” The festival was scheduled for September 2-3 at Benjamin Franklin Parkway in Philadelphia. Lizzo and SZA were set to headline, and Matt mentioned that a lawsuit has been filed against Lizzo. Matt questioned whether the cancellation was due to lack of hip-hop fans in Philadelphia and joked that they should follow ACL Fest’s model of bringing in Red Hot Chili Peppers as a replacement headliner.

Green Day announced something related to the 30th anniversary of their album “Dookie” by posting #Dookie30 with a studio photo. Matt joked that the big announcement would be “the guys are finally going to take a shower” and suggested they would repackage existing music rather than create new music, explaining “that’s how the industry works.”

In the Rock and Roll News Senior segment (for older listeners), Ted Nugent confirmed he will continue making music even after his final tour. Nugent stated he won’t tour again because he hates traveling and won’t stay at hotels, calling it “cruel and unusual punishment.” He cited his 12 grandkids he needs to teach to “aim small, miss small, and turn critters into family-sized portions,” his dogs, and his wife “Shemane” as reasons to stay home. Matt humorously wondered if Nugent would continue making his branded compound bows and joked about young women loving “Wang Dang Sweet Poon Tang.”

The segment concluded with a Rock and Roll News Salute to the fire departments near Cedar Park and North Austin who responded to the brush fire, humorously suggesting they interrupted a calendar photo shoot to fight the fire, then returned to complete it and make spaghetti dinner. Matt acknowledged he couldn’t match Bob’s delivery but noted the firemen calendars would be available for the holiday season.

Rock and roll shoutout/salute:

Yes – Rock and Roll News Salute to Cedar Park and North Austin fire departments (36:06.157-37:01.135) for responding to the brush fire

Bands talked about during Bob’s rock and roll news segment:

• Foo Fighters
• Linkin Park
• Red Hot Chili Peppers
• Metallica
• Muse
• Måneskin
• Lizzo (mentioned as headliner)
• SZA (mentioned as headliner)
• Green Day
• Ted Nugent

3 paragraph summary of this portion (excluding Rock and Roll News):

The show opened with Matt Bearden and Chewie filling in for Bob Fonseca, who was out with COVID-19. After elaborate introductions of each other, the hosts launched into an extended discussion about naming children, sparked by Chewie’s half-sister wanting to name her baby girl “Bobby” or other traditionally male names. This led to Matt revealing his daughter’s middle name is Ryan, chosen strategically so she could use it professionally in Texas if she wanted. They discussed the thought processes behind naming children, with Matt sharing that his mother wanted to name him Derek (after a romance novel character) but his oil industry father refused due to the derrick association. The conversation touched on Chris Kristofferson’s “Me and Bobby McGee” and whether names can be unisex.

The “Click Click Boom” segment featured items banned from schools in the 1990s, including Bart Simpson t-shirts with phrases like “eat my shorts,” Tech Deck finger skateboards that became disruptive toys, Pogs that led to gambling and violence when kids used slammers as weapons, ultra-baggy Jinko jeans with 23-inch diameter cuffs, and Nickelodeon Gak slime that caused chaos in classrooms. The hosts reminisced about the 90s trends and discussed how parents often didn’t understand youth culture, with Matt noting that generations have gotten somewhat more tolerant over time.

The show then shifted to serious news coverage of the Cedar Park brush fire that destroyed multiple apartment complexes and was 60% contained, which the hosts attributed to extreme heat, low humidity, and high winds creating red flag conditions. They discussed a Texas man who died from heat stroke in Utah’s Arches while spreading his father’s ashes, emphasizing how quickly dehydration can occur in low humidity. The conversation turned to Bob’s COVID diagnosis and cancelled family vacation, with extensive discussion about new COVID symptoms including prosopagnosia (face blindness), the challenges people still face with the disease, and Matt’s personal connection through his mother whose organs were permanently damaged by COVID. The hosts emphasized that while society has moved past the pandemic’s worst phases, COVID remains dangerous for vulnerable populations, and people shouldn’t mock those still wearing masks.

⏰ Second Hour Analysis ⏰

Matt & Bob Show 08-09-2023 Analysis (Second Third)

Food items/restaurants talked about

• Burger King/Carrabba’s (01:10:12.036) – Chuy mentioned eating at Carrabba’s while watching ESPN Ocho
• V8s from the vending machine (01:10:49.924) – Mentioned as something to get during break
• Mashed potatoes (01:15:14.134) – Referenced in context of sending back loaded mashed potatoes at a restaurant

News stories talked about during this portion

• Wildfires in Austin (48:24.970-49:32.785) – Texas A&M Forest Service reporting fire 60% contained in Palmer/Whitestone area; started as grass fire after 6pm; one housing development evacuated; one injury reported; no deaths
• Triple digit heat (50:18.557-50:28.858) – Back-to-back hottest months on record; triple digits expected until end of September
• Zilker Park Vision Plan postponed (51:41.934-52:53.738) – Austin Mayor postponing plan that would have included parking garages and semi-private ownership
• APD suspending less lethal rounds (53:04.492-54:25.023) – Austin Police suspending use of beanbag rounds; 15-year-old girl was injured
• Millscale Metalworks expansion (55:56.325-57:02.000) – Breaking ground on new production facility in Lockhart; they build custom barbecues
• Nordstrom stabbing (57:02.000-58:18.101) – Stabbing at Barton Springs Mall Nordstrom on Monday; victim had non-life threatening injuries
• Canadian real estate agent incident (01:31:11.800-01:31:46.769) – Agent in trouble, needs to come up with $15,000 for something he did at a seller’s home

Predictions made during this portion

• Weather prediction (50:18.557-50:28.858) – Triple digits expected to continue until end of September
• More wildfires predicted (49:35.009-51:10.081) – Matt warns listeners to expect more fires due to dry conditions

Interesting facts shared during this portion

• ESPN Ocho events (59:55.150-01:03:32.230) – ESPN2 temporarily becomes ESPN8 “The Ocho” featuring unusual sports including: Slippery Stairs (lubricated stairs race from Japan), Tech Ball (soccer with ping pong ball), Corgi races, Microsoft Excel World Championship (Friday morning 7am), and Pillow Fighting
• Condenser microphones (01:23:19.990-01:23:25.664) – Matt explains that condenser mics amplify everything, including vocal fry
• Car heat can start fires (01:27:27.007-01:27:33.817) – Simply hovering a car over grass in current dry conditions can light a fire

Phone callers this portion

• Anthony (01:14:04.352-01:15:02.650) – Called about liking freckles and shy/awkward personalities with a stutter/stammer
• Robert (01:17:45.895-01:18:35.610) – Called about liking “hail damage” (cellulite) and “just the right amount of cankle”
• Leslie (01:18:46.003-01:21:20.743) – Female caller who agreed about gap teeth; likes cleft chin; has red hair herself
• Marcos (01:21:40.442-01:23:02.668) – Called about liking husky/raspy voices; cited Scarlett Johansson, Emma Stone, Sophia Bush
• Alejandro (01:23:34.218-01:24:02.470) – Called about liking a “sleepy girlfriend” so he can watch Netflix twice and play PlayStation; does cooking and laundry
• Uber Joe (01:25:02.668-01:26:09.485) – Called about liking “bipolar with daddy issues” for short-term relationships
• James (01:26:09.485-01:29:17.023) – Called about wildfire causes, discussing chains dragging from trailers vs cigarette butts
• Chris (01:29:25.943-01:31:11.800) – First-time caller who finds beauty in mothers’ post-pregnancy bodies

Funny or memorable quotes this portion

• Matt on cigarette smokers (50:02.670-50:04.045): “Man, you look cool. And secondly, don’t toss those out the window.”
• Chuy on thick thighs (50:32.804-50:34.666): “People with thick thighs, don’t wear jeans or anything like that until further notice.”
• Matt on corduroy wearers (50:39.873): “If you’ve got thick thighs and you’re wearing corduroy, you obviously don’t care about the community.”
• Chuy (50:40.734): “Also call me.”
• Matt on Texas men (51:24.820): “I know in Texas it feels like most guys were born without an ass… It’s all Hank Hill.”
• Matt on his car getting shot (54:54.023-54:58.765): “I got hit by a rubber bullet one time. God, it stung like a mother.”
• Matt on public restroom (58:42.813-58:56.836): “You go over and go down that hallway of death and go into that, that, that turtary and you’re like, this is not upscale.”
• Chuy (58:51.806): “I’m not sitting my fudge cannon here.”
• Matt on Excel wizards (01:02:16.002-01:02:32.212): “There’s always a quiet girl in every office that sits in the corner. But she’s the one who’s the master of Excel”
• Matt on La Maka game (01:05:13.089-01:05:22.763): Game at old Lavaca Street Bar where you throw a lime through bars, bounce it off sidewalk into street, get points for each car that passes before it gets crushed
• Matt on smear the queer (01:08:21.854-01:08:47.070): “Think of the logic and reasoning behind that game… I can get anyone to vote for anyone for any reason”
• Matt’s analogy (01:09:31.831-01:09:35.635): “It literally was like the Gaza Strip. Everybody wants the Gaza Strip, but if you have the Gaza Strip, everybody’s gonna be mad at you.”
• Matt to Leslie (01:21:26.103-01:21:30.928): “I’m not an object, Leslie. I’m a thinking, feeling, breathing human being, OK? I’m not here for your pleasure.”
• Uber Joe on trauma bonding (01:25:51.246): “We love trauma bonding.”
• Matt’s response (01:26:03.980-01:26:09.006): “Is there anything better than two mentally ill people that are codependent? No, that’s the best relationships. You can’t find that level of passion with two normal people.”

Recurring jokes or gags

• Matt being sick/under the weather (01:10:26.350-01:10:38.251) – Matt mentions taking 17 COVID tests in last two days, nose burns, head not on straight
• Chuy’s attraction to cellulite and gap teeth – Recurring theme throughout the “Beautiful Flaws” segment
• Matt’s wife’s imperfections (01:12:42.937-01:13:05.135) – Chuy trying to get Matt to discuss his wife’s flaws; Matt refusing
• Miley Cyrus vocal fry references (01:22:40.945-01:22:58.530) – Discussion of her talking voice
• Pornhub references (01:30:00.229-01:30:16.468) – Chris claiming he doesn’t look things up on Pornhub but knowing what it is

“This or That” segment – Beautiful Flaws discussion

Who was being asked: Listeners calling in and the hosts themselves

Questions and answers:

• Chuy’s preferences: Gap in teeth, tasteful cellulite on the booty, shy/awkward personality
• Matt’s preferences: Facial scars (like Tina Fey’s chin scar), snaggletooth/crooked smile, hearing impaired accent
• Anthony: Freckles, shy stammer/stutter
• Robert: “Hail damage” (cellulite), “just the right amount of cankle”
• Leslie: Gap in teeth (on women), cleft chin (the dish type), red hair
• Marcos: Husky/raspy voice (Scarlett Johansson, Emma Stone, Sophia Bush examples)
• Alejandro: Sleepy girlfriend
• Uber Joe: Bipolar with daddy issues (short-term only)
• Chris: Mom bodies/post-pregnancy bodies

Summary

The second third of the show opened with Matt delivering Austin area headlines, focusing heavily on the wildfires affecting the Palmer and Whitestone areas. The Texas A&M Forest Service reported the fire was 60% contained after starting as a grass fire just after 6 PM. Matt passionately urged listeners to be responsible about not tossing cigarette butts or tamping bowls out of car windows, noting that the city has experienced back-to-back hottest months on record with triple digits expected until the end of September. He also covered the postponement of the controversial Zilker Park Vision Plan and APD’s suspension of less lethal beanbag rounds following a 15-year-old girl’s injury.

The show took a lighter turn as they discussed ESPN’s “The Ocho” programming, though Matt was embarrassed to learn the event had actually aired the previous week. They enthusiastically covered various unusual sports featured on the channel, including Slippery Stairs, Tech Ball (soccer with a ping pong ball), Corgi races, pillow fighting, and the Microsoft Excel World Championship. The conversation devolved into nostalgic discussion of office and schoolyard games they played growing up, including La Maka (a game Matt invented at the original Lavaca Street Bar), quarter football, and the problematically-named “smear the queer.”

The main segment of this portion was titled “Beautiful Flaws,” where Chuy asked listeners to call in and share what physical or personality traits traditionally viewed as imperfections they find attractive. Chuy led off by admitting he finds a gap in teeth and a tasteful amount of cellulite attractive. Matt shared his preferences for facial scars, crooked smiles, and the accent of hearing-impaired women, though he expressed discomfort discussing the latter for fear of appearing to fetishize a disability. The conversation revealed Matt’s past encounter in LA with what he described as “the woman for me” who had all his preferred traits but was dating someone else.

Multiple callers contributed their perspectives on beautiful flaws. Anthony appreciated freckles and shy, stammering personalities. Robert liked “hail damage” (cellulite) and cankles, which the hosts defended as signs of sturdiness. Leslie, a female caller with red hair, agreed about gap teeth and expressed love for cleft chins, leading to Matt revealing his wife dislikes his cleft chin, which he covers with a beard. Marcos cited husky, raspy voices like those of Scarlett Johansson and Emma Stone. The most controversial calls came from Alejandro, who liked “sleepy girlfriends” because he could watch shows twice and play PlayStation (though he insisted she was just exhausted from work), and Uber Joe, who admitted to liking “bipolar with daddy issues” for short-term relationships, sparking discussion about trauma bonding.

The segment concluded with Chris, a first-time caller, expressing appreciation for mothers’ post-pregnancy bodies, which he found beautiful despite physical changes. Throughout the discussion, the hosts attempted to maintain a balance between humor and sensitivity, with Matt occasionally checking Chuy’s more cavalier attitudes and the conversation touching on deeper issues of mental health, exhaustion in relationships, and the difference between finding unconventional traits attractive versus exploiting vulnerabilities. The show wrapped this portion with a teaser about a Canadian real estate agent who needed $15,000 for something he did at a seller’s home, though the story wasn’t fully explained.

🕐 Third Hour Analysis 🕐

Analysis of Matt & Bob Show (08-09-2023) – Final Third

Food or restaurants talked about during this portion:

• Beyoncé concert tickets – Discussed $35 beer and $22 “glizzy” (hot dog) prices at concert venues [01:34:13]
• McDonald’s – “As Featured In” meal with McNuggets, Quarter Pounder, or Big Mac, plus new Loki-themed sweet and sour sauce [01:56:15-01:57:01]
• Burger King – Extensive discussion about flame-broiled burgers, chicken sandwiches, and needed improvements [01:58:51-02:14:00]
• 7-Eleven – Featured in robbery story [01:42:15-01:55:45]
• Pete Terry’s – Mentioned for caramel shakes [01:58:18]
• Whataburger – Dr. Pepper shake mentioned [01:58:29]
• Sonic – Referenced for frozen treats [01:58:16]
• Dairy Queen – Mentioned, franchise flexibility discussed [02:01:48]
• Jack in the Box – Custom burger orders mentioned [02:01:54]
• Buddies – Local burger place, discussion about their discontinued Texi Melt patty melt [02:03:13-02:05:17]
• In-N-Out – Briefly mentioned [01:59:19]
• Arby’s – Sauce now available in jars at HEB; discussion of beef and cheddar [02:09:16-02:10:30]
• Gatti’s – Ranch dressing mentioned [02:10:20]
• Subway – Discussed as possibly worse than Burger King [01:59:24]
• Interstellar – Referenced for special features [02:06:00]
• Pizza Hut – Nostalgia for buffet and sit-down experience with cast iron skillets [02:14:04]
• Taco Bell – Nostalgia for old interior colors [02:14:00]

News stories talked about during this portion:

• Real estate agent fined $15,000 – Mike Rose fined $20,000 CAD ($15,000 USD) for drinking milk directly from carton in client’s house in British Columbia [01:31:53-01:33:13]
• Beyoncé selling “listening only” tickets – $157 seats behind the stage with no view at concerts [01:33:53-01:37:16]
• $1.6 billion lottery winner – Single winning ticket mentioned [01:37:52]
• Italian cheesemaker dies – 74-year-old Giancomo Cipriarini crushed by thousands of wheels of cheese in Bergamo, Italy; took 11 hours to find body [01:38:22-01:41:03]
• 7-Eleven robbery in Stockton – Two employees beat robber with stick after he attempted to steal cigarettes; recorded by customer “Dito” [01:42:15-01:55:45]
• Burger King CEO announces changes – Focus on teaching employees how to properly make burgers [02:13:47]
• Texas Pete lawsuit – Hot sauce company being sued for being made in North Carolina, not Texas [02:04:09]

Any memorable moments during this portion:

• The Dito controversy – Extended discussion about whether customer who filmed 7-Eleven robbery was truly innocent or asked for a “Swisher” to get free cigars during the robbery [01:46:01-01:52:00]
• Burger King chicken sandwich revelation – Matt reveals the “healthy” chicken sandwich had 1,100 calories vs. 580 for a Whopper [02:08:00-02:08:23]
• Cheese death puns – Multiple cheese-related puns about the Italian cheesemaker’s death: “anyway you slice it,” “extremely sharp blow,” “making cheddar,” “agree-ere,” “cutting the cheese” [01:39:43-01:41:03]
• Phyllis/Lois name confusion – Caller corrects hosts that her name is Phyllis, not Lois; Matt responds “we name people the way we want to name them” [02:12:58-02:13:13]
• Mom’s Titanic 2 question – John Eric’s mom texts him “son” asking if Titanic 2 is a real movie [01:42:32]

Any callers this portion:

• Mike – Called about Arby’s sauce and Horsey sauce now available in jars at HEB [02:09:16]
• Phyllis (called “Lois” by hosts) – Former Burger King employee from 2005 calling from Marble Falls, Texas; corrected Matt about the flame broiler being an oven, not a warmer [02:11:00-02:13:13]

Summary

The final third of the Matt & Bob show began with a series of “Odd of the Nod” news stories, including a British Columbia real estate agent fined $15,000 for drinking milk directly from a client’s refrigerator, and Beyoncé selling “listening only” concert tickets for $157 where attendees sit behind the stage with no view. The most tragic story involved a 74-year-old Italian cheesemaker who was crushed to death by thousands of wheels of cheese in Bergamo, Italy, prompting numerous cheese-related puns from the hosts.

The centerpiece of this segment was an extended discussion about a viral video from a Stockton 7-Eleven where two elderly employees beat a robber with a stick after he attempted to steal cigarettes. The hosts analyzed the video and questioned the credibility of the witness “Dito,” who filmed the incident. Matt and John Eric debated whether Dito was truly trying to distract the robber or actually asked him for a free Swisher cigar during the theft, noting inconsistencies in his interview with the news.

A significant portion of the show focused on fast food, particularly Burger King’s decline and needed improvements. The hosts discussed McDonald’s new “As Featured In” meal with Loki-themed sauce, which they found uninspired. Matt passionately advocated for Burger King to return to a retro 1970s-80s aesthetic and menu, sharing nostalgia for their original chicken sandwich that surprisingly contained 1,100 calories compared to a Whopper’s 580 calories.

The conversation expanded to include local Austin favorite Buddies, with Matt expressing frustration over their discontinued Texi Melt patty melt, which he considered the best burger in the city. The hosts also discussed the availability of Arby’s sauces in jars at HEB, the decline of Pizza Hut’s buffet experience, and various fast food nostalgia. Throughout, they emphasized that restaurants should focus on quality basics rather than constant innovation.

The segment concluded with calls from listeners, including Mike sharing the Arby’s sauce news and Phyllis, a former Burger King employee who corrected Matt’s assertion about how the flame broiler works. The hosts maintained their comedic chemistry throughout, mixing serious food criticism with absurdist humor, particularly around the 7-Eleven robbery video and the tragic cheese-related death in Italy.