Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Friday, October 21, 2016
This Show
Part 1: Giardia woes and gas station soup
Dale opens discussing Netflix’s ‘World’s Most Dangerous Prisons’ documentary, which leads to tangents about fear of criticism and online comments. Bob reveals on the Sideshow that Carissa likely has giardia from her sick dog Stevie — she was picking dried fecal matter off the dog while sleeping and never properly washed her hands, not from the gas station soup she blamed. The crew discusses obsessively reading negative online feedback, Dale’s AM show frustrations, and argues about telepathy after Daniel claims we’re ‘two-thirds of the way’ to being telepathic based on a Werner Herzog movie.
Segments
- Show Open and Prison Documentary [00:00:00] — Matt does the show intro. Dale discusses Netflix’s ‘World’s Most Dangerous Prisons’ documentary, describing horrific conditions in Philippine jails where prisoners run the facilities and people wait years for trial.
- Carissa’s Outfit and Mighty Swell [00:05:00] — Dale comments on Carissa’s thrift shop outfit being too warm for 55-degree weather. Discussion of Mighty Swell as a mixer.
- The Giardia Revelation [00:06:13] — Bob reveals what came out on yesterday’s Sideshow: Carissa’s week-long illness isn’t food poisoning but likely giardia contracted from her sick dog Stevie. She was picking dried fecal matter off the dog while it slept on her pillow and never washed her hands properly.
- Gas Station Soup Red Herring [00:10:25] — Carissa blamed ‘Asian soup from a gas station’ (actually a bodega-style convenience store), but Bob traced the timeline back to cleaning up after her sick dog without proper hygiene.
- Dale’s Daughter’s Stinky Feet [00:15:24] — Dale tells story of his daughter dropping a snow globe and her feet smelling horrific — worse than a decomposed body — because she goes sockless. His wife wants to make a replacement snow globe from a baby food jar.
- Obsession with Online Comments [00:19:09] — Dale discusses his psychological need to read and respond to negative online comments, particularly from AM listeners who want Sergeant Sam back. Bob admits he was distracted during this segment reading something online that upset him. Dale reveals he almost got in trouble for ranting against Rush Limbaugh on the AM show.
- Sergeant Sam and AM Show Frustrations [00:26:00] — Dale discusses feeling hated on the AM show, Sergeant Sam’s rudeness at his going-away party, and wishing the FM audience would migrate to support him on AM.
- Dale’s Near-Accident Story (Interrupted) [00:29:01] — Dale tries to tell story about nearly being hit by an old lady who veered into his lane at 77 mph on 183. The crew repeatedly interrupts and Daniel plays ‘The NeverEnding Story’ theme to mock him.
- Ally Lucky Penny Campaign [00:31:28] — Discussion of Ally Bank’s campaign hiding 100 pennies worth $1,000 each in Austin and other cities. Carissa reveals a homeless person once threw change back at her head.
- Magicians vs. YouTube [00:37:53] — Story about magicians asking YouTube to remove videos showing how tricks are done. The ‘Inner Magic Circle’ claims essential performance skills are being lost.
- Telepathy Argument [00:41:00] — Daniel claims we’re ‘two-thirds of the way to being telepathic’ based on a Werner Herzog movie. Dale and Bob mock this relentlessly. Debate about whether minds can stop insects, sense being stared at, etc. Dale mispronounces ‘telepathy’ multiple times.
Quotes
I had some Asian soup from a gas station.
Bob Fonseca [00:10:25]
How can anybody be attracted to you? That’s just disgusting.
Dale Dudley [00:12:40]
This smell — I would prefer picking up a decomposed body.
Dale Dudley [00:16:37]
She believes you can polish a turd.
Bob Fonseca [00:18:53]
I want to know what that lady wrote because she’s suffering from vaginal dryness.
Dale Dudley [00:24:41]
Part 2: Winning back an ex and faililng
This segment features a contest where listeners call in to share the crazy things they did trying to win back or keep an ex. Stories range from driving across town in nightclothes to hacking phones, checking into mental hospitals, and spending inheritance money. The winning story comes from Chris, who hacked his girlfriend’s phone, created a burner account, and sent himself threatening texts to convince her the other guy was dangerous. Dale also goes on extended rants about Laura Presley’s voter fraud activism and defends Police Chief Art Acevedo after ‘shocking’ audio was released.
Segments
- Pre-show chaos and Laura Presley rant [00:00:05] — Dale discusses wanting to document behind-the-scenes show chaos, then launches into a detailed rant about Laura Presley’s voter fraud activism, calling her a conspiracy theorist and sore loser.
- Things I Did for Love contest setup [00:06:17] — Dale introduces the F1 ticket giveaway contest: listeners share the craziest things they did to try to keep someone from breaking up with them or to get them back.
- Laura Presley caller confrontation [00:08:46] — Dale plays audio of an angry caller from KLBJ AM defending Laura Presley and criticizing Dale’s commentary, leading to an extended defense of his position.
- Contest calls begin [00:13:01] — Listeners begin calling with their stories. Regina leads with discovering her boyfriend in bed with his male roommate after driving three hours. Multiple other callers share stories of Greyhound trips, wrong-number grandma calls, mental hospital stays, and more.
- Chris wins with phone hacking story [00:25:45] — Chris tells how he hacked his girlfriend’s phone, discovered she was cheating, bought a burner phone, and sent himself threatening texts pretending to be from the other guy to win her back. He’s still married to her and she doesn’t know. The hosts vote him the winner.
- Art Acevedo ‘secret recordings’ defense [00:43:03] — Dale criticizes KVUE reporter Tony Plohetsky for framing secret recordings of Police Chief Art Acevedo as damning when they actually show him doing his job well, telling officers they shouldn’t shoot unarmed, naked teenagers.
- Sugar daddy billboard story [00:53:54] — The hosts watch and mock a KVUE news report about a controversial billboard on I-35 advertising sugar daddy services to undocumented immigrants, calling it obvious publicity bait.
Callers
- unnamed [00:08:46] — Defending Laura Presley’s voter fraud activism Dale plays recorded audio of the caller from his AM show, dismisses her arguments, and uses it as fuel for continued rant about Presley
- Regina [00:13:36] — Drove three hours to see boyfriend who had broken up with her, found him in bed with male roommate Immediately became the story to beat, though ultimately didn’t win. Story became a reference point throughout the contest.
- Daniel [00:15:25] — Took 24-hour Greyhound ride to see girlfriend who sent him away immediately Quickly dismissed as not compelling enough
- Steven [00:16:38] — Called girlfriend’s mom from outside her house at night, accidentally called his own grandma and cried to her instead Considered for finalist position, relatable story
- David [00:19:04] — Checked himself into mental hospital to make ex feel sorry for him Made finalist list, story resonated as particularly desperate
- Mike [00:21:01] — Met girl in Philippines who required he bring her family to U.S. if they married; 41 years later still married and still sending money to Philippines Disqualified because relationship succeeded rather than failed
- Cullen [00:22:32] — Army barracks story where ex-girlfriend showed up with superior officers Hosts frustrated because story was backwards – about what the girl did, not what he did. Also anti-climactic ending.
- Chris [00:25:05] — Hacked girlfriend’s phone, discovered cheating, bought burner phone and sent himself threatening texts pretending to be from the other guy to convince her he was dangerous Won the contest. Still married to her and she’s finding out about the deception on-air today. Most conniving and elaborate story.
- Melissa [00:27:24] — After having sex, freaked out and mailed boyfriend a letter, then paid mailman $20 to get the letter back before delivery (federal crime) Made finalist list for committing mail fraud, stayed together three more months
- Haley [00:28:52] — Spent $7,000 (more than half her $12,000 inheritance from accident settlement) taking boyfriend on Florida vacation; he broke up with her right after Made finalist list for spending such a significant portion of her money
- Sarah [00:30:02] — Got boyfriend’s mother to perform witchcraft ritual with seeds and pictures under his bed and cracked raw egg Made finalist list, stayed together eight years and had two kids before eventually breaking up
- Frank [00:31:57] — Took ex-girlfriend who brought friend on bicycle race trip to Wichita Falls from South Texas, maxed out 5-6 credit cards shopping with her, she never called again Story took too long to tell and had weak payoff, immediately dismissed
- David [00:33:23] — Ex-girlfriend was naked in his bed waiting when he brought new girl home from bar Disqualified for humble bragging and being backwards – this was about what the ex did, not what he did
- Amy [00:34:55] — Scaled from stairwell to third-floor apartment balcony with duffel bag when boyfriend wouldn’t answer door; he made her climb back and call for 3am ride Disqualified on technicality – this was trying to see him, not get him back after breakup
- Stephanie [00:37:00] — In first grade, brother convinced her to give her ex-boyfriend the brother’s used Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle underwear as a gift to win him back Made finalist list for innocence and absurdity of the story
Text Line
- [00:22:00] Pointing out that Regina didn’t actually do anything crazy to get her boyfriend back, just discovered him with someone else — read by Matt Bearden Created brief controversy about contest rules and whether Regina’s story qualified
Quotes
It’s the millennials world. It’s not your world anymore.
Dale Dudley [00:12:01]
Private citizens no longer have any input on programming or changing the world.
Dale Dudley [00:22:03]
What shocking audio of a police chief doing his job.
Dale Dudley [00:49:33]
Part 3: Chris Cubas in the house!
Chris Cubas returns to promote his Fusion documentary ‘Paid Off’ (airing tonight at 7pm on TV and streaming on Facebook Live). The hosts play a one-hit wonders contest with front-row WWE tickets as the prize. Dale shares old workout photos with his friend Doug, leading to jokes about his past. The show touches on Amy Schumer walking audience members, comedy club talk, and Dale’s family history research revealing slave-owning ancestors.
Segments
- Tony Plaheski Article Discussion [00:00:00] — Dale and Matt discuss an article about the show, with Dale admitting he may have overreacted to perceived criticism. They debate media bias.
- Chris Cubas Introduction [00:01:17] — Chris Cubas joins to promote his Fusion documentary premiering tonight, discussing the $30,000 millionaire experiment and Chronicle cover feature.
- Fusion Facebook Live Stream [00:03:42] — Chris explains the innovative concept of airing the documentary simultaneously on Fusion TV and Facebook Live with live Q&A during the broadcast.
- Amy Schumer Walkout Discussion [00:06:03] — The hosts discuss Amy Schumer having audience members walk out during her Tampa show after anti-Trump comments, debating the 200-person estimate and comedy politics.
- Dale’s Workout Photos [00:10:28] — CJ posts old photos of Dale and his friend Doug working out in half-shirts from the 1980s, leading to extensive jokes about their poses and Dale’s hair.
- My Bodyguard Movie [00:16:59] — Dale reminisces about the 1980 film ‘My Bodyguard’ starring Chris Makepeace, Adam Baldwin, and Matt Dillon, relating it to his own experiences being bullied.
- One-Hit Wonders Contest Setup [00:23:41] — The hosts set up a contest with front-row WWE tickets as the prize. Callers pick Dale, Matt, or Bob to identify the most 1980s one-hit wonders.
- One-Hit Wonders Game [00:29:40] — The contest plays six songs: Bobby McFerrin ‘Don’t Worry Be Happy’, Dexys Midnight Runners ‘Come On Eileen’, Toni Basil ‘Mickey’, Jan Hammer ‘Miami Vice Theme’, Lipps Inc ‘Funky Town’, and Sheriff ‘When I’m With You’. Dale wins with 3 points.
- Station Vending Machine Complaints [00:39:45] — Dale complains that the station removed water from vending machines, charging $1.50 for drinks and putting $5.50 holds on credit cards. He asks companies to donate water in exchange for plugs.
- Nicki Minaj Voter Message [00:49:01] — Daniel plays an explicit clip of Nicki Minaj at a concert encouraging voting and supporting Hillary Clinton while criticizing potential First Lady Melania Trump.
- Dale’s Family History [00:54:23] — Dale shares genealogy research revealing his ancestor Absalom Dudley owned slaves (listed as $10,000 in property). After the Civil War, the family became tenant farmers in Cass County, Texas, explaining generational racism in his family.
Guests
- Chris Cubas (comedian) [00:01:17] — Promoting his Fusion documentary ‘Paid Off’ premiering tonight at 7pm CT, also announcing LaShonda Lester fundraiser show at Cap City Comedy Club
Callers
- Kevin [00:28:40] — One-hit wonders contest – picked Dale Won front-row WWE tickets when Dale got 3 points in the contest
- Michael [00:29:05] — One-hit wonders contest – picked Matt Lost the contest; Matt got 2.5 points
- Jen [00:29:46] — One-hit wonders contest – picked Bob Lost the contest; Bob got 3 points but Kevin’s pick of Dale won on line position
Music
- Bobby McFerrin — One-hit wonder contest – ‘Don’t Worry Be Happy’
- Dexys Midnight Runners — One-hit wonder contest – ‘Come On Eileen’
- Toni Basil — One-hit wonder contest – ‘Mickey’
- Jan Hammer — One-hit wonder contest – ‘Miami Vice Theme’
- Lipps Inc — One-hit wonder contest – ‘Funky Town’
- Sheriff — One-hit wonder contest – ‘When I’m With You’
- Gregory Abbott — Tie-breaker song – ‘Shake You Down’
Quotes
I just wish people would be less biased and bring back Sergeant Sam
Dale Dudley [00:00:35]
I’m biased. Is there such thing as a flop anymore?
Chris Cubas [00:02:09]
I’m impressed 200 Trump fans bought tickets to see a female comedian
Chris Cubas [00:06:42]
If you get up and leave without causing a scene, you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to
Chris Cubas [00:08:14]
Tonight on fusion… just kidding, watch whatever you think
Dale Dudley [00:39:05]