Dudley and Bob with Matt — 93.7 KLBJ-FM, Austin — Thursday, November 17, 2016
This Show
Part 1: Tears and Lonliness
The show opens with Dale discussing his new fleece jacket from REI and general morning banter. The tone shifts dark when Dale opens a disturbing letter from someone in prison, revealing the show saves threatening mail due to security concerns and has hired armed security. The mood lightens briefly with discussion of a John Lewis holiday commercial, which predictably triggers the recurring ‘Make Carissa Cry’ bit as she becomes emotional discussing her grandmother calling her selfish for not visiting home in six months.
Segments
- Opening / Remote broadcast promo [00:00:23] — Standard show open promoting tomorrow’s live broadcast at Rudy’s Country Store and Barbecue for ‘Home for the Holidays’ (also jokingly called ‘breaking and entering’).
- Bob’s double commute [00:02:53] — Bob explains he drove to work in the wrong car and had to return home to get the correct vehicle for Brakes to Go service.
- Dale’s jacket and family chaos [00:04:42] — Dale discusses his new REI fleece jacket (still has tags, considering returning it), his five-year-old daughter’s non-stop talking, and being insulted when his wife switched from Seinfeld to Friends.
- Harmonizer installation anxiety [00:16:38] — Dale discusses the newly installed harmonizer in the studio but is afraid to touch it or ask Chuck (engineering) how to use it, revealing everyone is ‘scared of Chuck.’
- Disturbing prison letter [00:27:23] — Dale opens a letter from someone who misspelled his name as ‘Dudley’ making bizarre demands. Reveals the station now saves all threatening mail and has hired armed security (Tommy) specifically for Dale’s arrival window.
- Stack of stalker letters [00:31:02] — Daniel produces a stack of approximately 35 letters from a mentally ill person who believes they are married to someone at the station. Dale declares he will no longer open mail.
- Make Carissa Cry setup [00:34:52] — Dale introduces a John Lewis holiday commercial about a lonely man on the moon, setting up Carissa by suggesting she imagine the man is her grandfather.
- Carissa’s family guilt [00:35:33] — Before even seeing the commercial, Carissa breaks down discussing how her 95-year-old grandmother called her selfish for not visiting Waco in six months, contrasting her busy Austin dance schedule with her grandmother’s generation’s family-focused values.
- Estrogen discussion [00:39:44] — The conversation derails into Carissa’s medical diagnosis of hormone issues causing irregular periods and emotional symptoms. Dale reads from a medical website while Carissa tries to explain her actual diagnosis.
- John Lewis commercial viewing [00:43:10] — The hosts finally watch the John Lewis ‘Man on the Moon’ Christmas commercial featuring a lonely old man and a little girl who sends him a telescope. Carissa cries as predicted.
Recurring Bits
- Make Carissa Cry [00:34:52] — Dale sets up the John Lewis commercial knowing it will make Carissa cry, discussing how the bit has become like Pavlov’s dog – she now cries on command when the segment is announced. Carissa blames ‘estrogen overload’ for her emotional state.
Quotes
She’ll either be in show business or be schizophrenic
Dale Dudley [00:04:56]
Do not contact me. New rule. I don’t want to hear from anyone.
Dale Dudley [00:28:23]
This is what the internet’s become.
Dale Dudley [00:31:45]
You’re selfish in a way that I’m selfish. Those of us who had bad parenting had to protect ourselves.
Dale Dudley [00:37:17]
Part 2: ANIMALS ARE DEPRESSING
This segment is dominated by a series of disturbing and depressing stories during what becomes an extended Animal Cavalcade. The show opens with the breaking news that Police Chief Art Acevedo is leaving Austin for Houston, which visibly upsets the cast. Matt delivers Pop Cop, focusing on politics due to the lack of celebrity news. Dale then shows a clip of actress Shelley Duvall on Dr. Phil, revealing her mental illness and claims that Robin Williams is still alive and shapeshifting – which connects to an impersonator controversy the show has been dealing with. The segment spirals into increasingly dark territory with stories about a woman with record-breaking long fingernails and toenails, a man who dissolved in a Yellowstone hot spring, a centipede in a child’s ear, and millions of dead fish from hypoxia. The cast becomes increasingly distressed throughout, with multiple people expressing shock and dismay at the content.
Segments
- Chief Acevedo Leaving for Houston [00:00:00] — Breaking news that Austin Police Chief Art Acevedo is becoming Houston’s police chief. Dale and Bob reveal they knew weeks ago. The cast discusses what this means for Austin and their personal friendship with the chief.
- Pop Cop [00:05:51] — Matt delivers Pop Cop segment focused entirely on politics and Trump administration appointments due to lack of celebrity news. Includes jokes about Carson, Giuliani, Sarah Palin, and The Rock being named Sexiest Man Alive.
- Shelley Duvall Mental Illness [00:18:21] — Dale shows disturbing Dr. Phil clip of actress Shelley Duvall, who appears to be suffering from mental illness and claims Robin Williams is still alive and shapeshifting. The cast is shocked by her condition.
- Robin Williams Impersonator Connection [00:22:24] — Discussion of a Robin Williams impersonator who claims Williams came to him in a dream to continue his work. This connects to an ongoing controversy the show has been involved in.
- Long Fingernails World Record [00:27:16] — Dale plays a news story about Houston woman Yanni Williams attempting to break the world record for longest fingernails. The segment takes a horrifying turn when her toenails are shown, causing Bob and others to nearly leave the studio.
- Hot Potting Death at Yellowstone [00:36:57] — Matt explains the story of Colin Nathaniel Scott who fell into a boiling, acidic hot spring at Yellowstone while looking for a place to soak. He dissolved completely. Daniel philosophizes about living dangerously vs. safely.
- Animal Cavalcade – Dark Edition [00:50:10] — What should be a lighthearted Animal Cavalcade becomes increasingly depressing with stories about a centipede in a child’s ear, millions of dead fish from hypoxia in Long Island, and wallabies dying at Bastrop Zoo.
Recurring Bits
- Pop Cop [00:05:51] — Matt delivers Pop Cop entirely focused on Trump administration and politics due to lack of celebrity news post-election
- Animal Cavalcade [00:50:10] — Extended segment that becomes unintentionally dark and depressing with stories about dead animals and disturbing nature events
Callers
- unnamed [00:36:03] — Asking about Alex Jones’ thoughts on Chief Acevedo leaving Dale explains that Acevedo was accessible to all radio hosts and the next chief likely won’t be
- unnamed [00:47:28] — Song ‘Death by Misadventure’ and joke about the man who dissolved saving money on cremation Brief dark humor exchange about the Yellowstone death
Quotes
I’m depressed now because the chief is leaving
Bob Fonseca [00:12:45]
Robin Williams is not dead and talks to her. And so does the Sheriff of Nottingham.
Dale Dudley [00:21:11]
Bob’s leaving! Her toenails!
Bob Fonseca [00:28:51]
There is no caring God. It just keeps getting worse.
Matt Bearden [00:31:09]
He had dissolved. When they came back, he was just gone.
Matt Bearden [00:41:34]
Why does God make such horrible things on Earth?
Carissa Jade [00:42:00]
Maybe he lived life to the fullest and you didn’t
Daniel Gallo [00:43:00]
Part 3: press release
This sprawling final segment covers a wide range of topics: Chief Art Acevedo’s departure for Houston, the Breaking and Entering charity promotion at Rudy’s, ticket giveaways, Animal Cavalcade featuring disturbing and sad animal videos, Jesse James’ missing French bulldog (repeatedly discussed), a troubling Extreme Makeover Home Edition story about adoptive parents who allegedly kicked out five adopted children after receiving the house, and Daniel’s cryptic hints about Sandra Bullock gossip he heard from Jay Thomas. The segment ends with a call from the ‘gay Marine’ announcing he’ll come out to his father on Thanksgiving.
Segments
- Breaking and Entering Setup [00:00:00] — Dale promotes the Breaking and Entering charity remote at Rudy’s Country Store Barbecue, explaining the charity helps families anonymously at Christmas and thanking sponsors who’ve already contributed.
- Exploiting Sadness Parody [00:02:30] — The hosts do a comedic bit parodying how radio shows typically exploit sad families for ratings, with Dale and Matt role-playing an awkward charity interview.
- Dale’s Teeth Question [00:05:06] — Dale asks if he should replace his 30-year-old crowns, leading to discussions about his teeth and a childhood story about destroying a bottle of his father’s Vitalis hair product.
- Animal Cavalcade Begins [00:08:20] — Dale starts Animal Cavalcade with a story about men rolling a dead deer into a Walmart in Short Pump, Virginia.
- Deer Attack Video [00:11:04] — Dale shows video of a deer attacking cross-country runners, leading to discussion about how deer behave.
- Carnivorous Squirrel [00:11:20] — The hosts react with disgust to video of a squirrel eating a mouse, discussing whether squirrels are carnivorous.
- Baby Monkey and Goat [00:12:42] — Dale shows a supposedly heartwarming video of a baby monkey riding a mountain goat, though the hosts find sadness in it.
- WWE Ticket Giveaway [00:15:00] — Dale gives away WWE Raw tickets to caller Jordan, an 18-year-old dog walker, after a brief awkward interview.
- Sting Tickets to Justice [00:18:02] — Dale gives Sting tickets to caller Justice (nicknamed Buck), whose wife is named Linda, leading to jokes about the old-fashioned name.
- Chief Acevedo Discussion [00:23:37] — The hosts discuss Austin Police Chief Art Acevedo’s departure to Houston, with Dale reading an article about his tenure and controversies.
- Jesse James Missing Dog Announcement [00:26:27] — Bob asks to help find Jesse James’ missing white French bulldog near Fitzhugh Road, which Dale mocks but allows.
- Sandra Bullock Blind Item [00:28:43] — Daniel cryptically references a blind item about Sandra Bullock he heard on Jay Thomas’ show, refusing to share details despite Dale’s prodding.
- Extreme Makeover Home Edition Story [00:38:58] — Dale plays a disturbing news story about adoptive parents who appeared on Extreme Makeover Home Edition and allegedly kicked out all five adopted children after receiving the renovated house.
- Anti-Vaxxer Numbers [00:52:41] — Dale mentions 44,000 Texas parents aren’t vaccinating their kids, criticizing conspiracy theorists.
- Trump Restaurant Incident [00:53:40] — Bob discusses Trump sneaking out of Trump Tower to a restaurant where a reporter overheard conversations, and Trump ordering well-done steak.
- Jesse Dog Press Release [00:55:22] — Daniel forwards an urgent email that turns out to be a press release about Jesse James’ missing dog, frustrating Dale who thought it was something serious.
- Houston Teacher Story [00:58:56] — Dale discusses a Houston middle school teacher who got pregnant by a 13-year-old student, expressing serious condemnation despite the usual show humor.
- Carissa’s Camp Story [01:00:44] — The hosts tease Carissa about a past story involving a younger person at camp, which she defends and clarifies amid the teasing.
- Gay Marine Coming Out Plan [01:03:56] — The caller known as ‘gay Marine’ announces he’s decided to come out to his father on Thanksgiving via Skype after dinner with his stepmother present.
Recurring Bits
- Animal Cavalcade [00:08:20] — Dale presents multiple animal videos including a dead deer in Walmart, deer attacking runners, a carnivorous squirrel, a sad polar bear, and a baby monkey riding a goat.
Callers
- Jordan [00:16:12] — Called for WWE tickets Won WWE Raw tickets. Dale joked about the station’s demographics after learning Jordan is 18 and a dog walker.
- Justice (nicknamed Buck) [00:18:43] — Called for tickets Won Sting tickets. The hosts made jokes about his name and his wife Linda’s old-fashioned name.
- unnamed [00:50:56] — Requested best-of Matt Bearden content Asked for April Fool’s Day 2010 bit to be played on Monday’s best-of show or put on Sideshow content.
- Gay Marine (unnamed) (regular) [01:03:57] — Coming out to his father Announced he’s decided to come out to his father on Thanksgiving Day via Skype after dinner. The hosts were supportive and asked him to report back.
Quotes
It’s the most ass backwards promotion in radio
Dale Dudley [00:03:30]
44,000 stupid effing parents not vaccinating their kids
Dale Dudley [00:53:04]
It’s not funny anymore to do the whole thing about it’s different for boys
Dale Dudley [00:59:06]